We have talked about how writing cohesively means that your text 'flows' nicely. This means that the sentences and paragraphs are connected together rather than sitting in isolation. In the last writing class we looked at how we can use topic and transition sentences as well as paragraph unity to organise our information cohesively. In this class we'll talk about how we can structure our sentences to create similar links within paragraphs.
How much do you remember from last week about:
Read the two texts below. Which one flows more smoothly and why?
1 Lasers have found widespread application in medicine. 2 For example, they play an important role in the treatment of blindness. 3 The eye is ideally suited for laser surgery because most of the eye tissue is transparent. 4 Because of this transparency, the frequency and focus of the laser beam can be adjusted according to the absorption of the tissue so that the beam ‘cuts’ inside the eye with minimal damage to the surrounding tissue – even the tissue between the laser and the incision. 5 Lasers are also more effective than other methods in treating some causes of blindness. 6 However, the interaction between laser light and eye tissue is not fully understood.
1 Lasers have found widespread application in medicine. 2 Lasers play an important role in the treatment of eye disease and the prevention of blindness. 3 The eye is ideally suited for laser surgery. 4 Most of the eye tissue is transparent. 5 The frequency and focus of the laser beam can be adjusted according to the absorption of the tissue. 6 The beam ‘cuts’ inside the eye with minimal damage to the surrounding tissue – even the tissue between the laser and the incision. 7 Lasers are effective in treating some forms of blindness. 8 Other treatments are not. 9 The interaction between laser light and eye tissue is not fully understood.
Often, the subject of a clause can also be called the Theme, which indicates the main idea. This is also often the given information: that with which we are already familiar. Writers place given information within the Theme of the clause to help create cohesion, and the new information in the Rheme.
Lasers
they
The eye
most of the eye tissue
have found widespread application in medicine
play an important role in the treatment of blindness.
is ideally suited for laser surgery
is transparent
This given and new structure, helps create lexical links throughout the text. They in the second sentence refers to lasers in the first, and the eye in sentence three is primed by blindness in the Rheme of clause two. The eye comes up again within the Theme of the fourth sentence.
By using the Theme to restate information in this way we start to get an easy-to-read flow to the text.
These links should appear throughout the text. Because the text is on the topic of lasers, we find this word referred to throughout the text. However, we don't just keep repeating the word 'lasers' because that would get boring and repetitive fairly quickly. Instead we're looking for ways of referring to the lasers using different words and structures. We call this reiteration without repetition.
Look back at text 1. Can you identify anywhere else that the idea of reiteration is used to create links?
General nouns are words for things that we can't touch or see directly. They also tend to have a positive or negative feel to them. Things like success as opposed to failure are fairly straightforward, but we could also refer to the same thing as difficulties or challenges depending on how we're feeling about it.
Read the text below to find the general nouns, and decide if they summarise information stated earlier or advertise information to come. Underline the information in the text which the nouns summarise or advertise, and then decide if the nouns are positive, negative or neutral.
Bettaworld is a very profitable and competitive company. Its success has enabled the company to create new departments and take on large numbers of new managers and office staff. At first, this expansion led to difficulties in communication between the larger departments and their managers. In order to solve this problem, the company introduced new ways of working. Departments were reorganized into project-based teams and communications were improved by supplying staff with individual computers and telephone lines. The company had to borrow large amounts of capital to finance the equipment and the staff training needed to make these changes. However, the investment was well worthwhile because it resulted in significant improvements, both in customer service and staff satisfaction. This increased the company’s profits to an even higher level.
S
a very profitable and successful company
Positive
Finally, grammatical devices such as for example, because of, and however were used in the text above to show the relationship between all the ideas. The table on the right shows some of the cohesive devices we have as writers to make our text clearer to read.
In the reading class this week we looked at a broadsheet article which discussed the benefits of encouraging city residents to be physically active. Read the first paragraph of the text again and identify as many cohesive devices as you can find of the kind we've been looking at today. How does the author make this text flow together?
Using the techniques that we have studied today, write a paragraph which summarises the Guardian article we looked at in the reading session. Remember the golden rule for writing in your own words: put the original away! Make sure you have the ideas clear in your own head or in note form, and try and come up with a short text with the following features: