A SWAMPY FABLE

THE MOOSE THE HYENA AND THE MONKEY

The old moose thought himself a gentleman but was more a curmudgeon. The Hyena was a spotted blond in the prime of her adolescence and the Monkey was a descendent of ape royalty, but mostly just plain ripe from a life of sloth and mischief.

The three lived in captivity comfortably since birth at the Metro Zoo on the edge of the Florida Everglades. Not knowing the hardships of life in the wild, they yearned with instinct for adventure in the great microcosms beyond the confines of the zoo.

At night the Zoo keepers would watch Netflix movies and the animals would lay awake in their respective dens and listen to the stories told. One of Moose's favorite films was The Great Escape with Steve McQueen, Hyena's favorite was Cameron Diaz in Charley's Angels and it was no secret that Monkey wanted to be just like Jim Carrey in The Mask.

One day as the tropical storm season neared the three were hanging out rather bored and got to joking about breaking out of the Zoo to see firsthand what the big world was all about.

The conversation suddenly got serious when the shifty Monkey challenged Moose's mettle.

The Hyena, who was reading the New Times newspaper , suddenly proclaimed the headline "Hurricane Wilma Makes Landfall Tonight".

They all looked at each other and thought of past storms like Andrew when other animals has escaped or wandered off into the swamp or the bright lights of downtown.

Bored and naive they quickly hatched a plan to escape that night but could not agree on where to go once out.

The Moose always wanted to go to Key West for that old-world Hemingway charm.

Hyena naturally had a nose for the nocturnal thrills of South Beach and Monkey, though having family that would take him in at Monkey Jungle, decided to go to West Palm Beach to hobnob with the affluent.

As the storm bore down on South Florida they made a mad dash for the battered gates. After a treacherous hike through the windy rains, debris and darkness they found shelter in an empty MetroRail station. The next morning they bid farewell and parted ways for their favored destination.

Once there Moose was startled by hordes of overdeveloped tourists buying tee-shirts and sweet frozen drinks in fake coconuts. Finally his prudishness was confounded by the freakishness of Fantasy Fest. The next morning, with moldy indignation, Moose lumbered back to the Zoo.

Meanwhile our lass Hyena was soon basking in the bacchanal of Miami's Riviera with eyes bigger than her tummy and soon the room began to spin like a dervish. She awoke on the sandy shore in the jaws of a slimy land shark. With a shriek and a growl she gnawed broke free and sped her way back to the zoo.

Mister Monkey Price grabbed some new clothes at a laundromat then made his way hitching rides northbound to Phillips Point Private Golf Club and its spoils. He managed to talk his way into the clubhouse where members were mingling at a fundraiser. But no one would talk to him, the snoots were snubbing him! He crashed in the stables with the polo horses and the next morning went back to the zoo.

PEOPLE LIKE WHAT THE ARE USED TO.