Embedded Files
"Radioactive Man"
"Radioactive Man"
A sign at the Slotcar Heaven toy racing car store reads, “1/24 the size, 3/8 the fun.”
"Lisa the Vegetarian"
"Lisa the Vegetarian"
At school, Lisa’s class watches the educational filmstrip “The Meat Council Presents: Meat And You - Partners in Freedom,” hosted by actor Troy McClure.
Troy: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films as “Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun” and “Firecrackers: The Silent Killer.”
"Treehouse of Horror VI"
"Treehouse of Horror VI"
In the “Homer 3D” segment of this annual non-canonical anthology of short scary stories, Homer disappears into a wall behind the bookcase in the living room.
Lisa: Well, where's my dad?
Prof. Frink: Well, it should be obvious to even the most dimwitted individual who holds an advanced degree in hyperbolic topology that Homer Simpson has stumbled into . . . [the lights go off] the third dimension.
Lisa [flips the light switch back on]: Sorry.
[Prof. Frink draws on a blackboard.]
Frink: Here is an ordinary square . . .
Chief Wiggum: Whoa, whoa, slow down, egghead.
Frink: But suppose we extend the square beyond the two dimensions of our universe, along the hypothetical z-axis, there.
[Everyone gasps.]
Frink: This forms a three-dimensional object known as a cube, or a Frinkahedron in honor of its discoverer.
Homer's voice: Help me! Are you helping me, or are you going on and on?
Frink: Oh, right. And, of course, within, we find the doomed individual.
[Mathematical statements in the 3-D universe include equation 1 + 1 = 2, the P versus NP problem, Euler's identity, and the false equation 1782^12 + 1841^12 = 1922^12.]
"Mother Simpson"
"Mother Simpson"
Bart meets his long-lost paternal grandmother.
Bart: Hey. Since you were a no-show at all the big moments of my life, you owe me years of back presents. Christmases, birthdays, Easters, Kwanzaas, good report cards . . .
[He grabs a calculator.]
Bart: Hmm, 75 bucks a pop plus interest and penalties . . . You owe me $22,000.
Homer: I'll Kwanzaa you!
[Homer strangles Bart.]
Grandma Mona: Homer, don't be so hard on little . . . (whispers) What is his name?
"Bart the Fink"
"Bart the Fink"
Lisa goes to the bank with the $100 she inherited.
Lisa: I got their new Thrifty Savers savings account. 2.3% annual interest instead of the normal 2.25. So a year from now, I’ll have an extra nickel.
2. Krusty the Clown is investigated for tax evasion.
Krusty: Oh, I can't go to jail! I got a swanky lifestyle. I'm used to the best.
IRS agent 1: Krusty, this is America. We don't send our celebrities to jail. We're just going to
garnish your salary.
Krusty: Garnish my celery?
IRS agent 1: Please, Krusty, no jokes!
Krusty: Who's joking?! Oy! Oh, I don't understand what you're saying. It all sounds so crazy to
me.
IRS agent 2: It simply means we'll be taking part of your salary until your debt is
repaid. Say, 75% for 40 years.
Krusty: But I don't plan to live that long.
IRS agent 1: Better make it 95%.
Krusty: Ah! Oh! Oy.
See Dr. Sarah Greenwald's geometry and topology activity worksheets.
"Much Apu about Nothing"
"Much Apu about Nothing"
Homer: Woo-hoo! A perfect day. Zero bears and one big fat hairy paycheck.
[He opens it up and reads it.]
Homer: Hey! How come my pay is so low? “Bear Patrol Tax: $5” . . . What?! This is an outrage! It's the biggest tax increase in history!
Lisa: Actually, Dad, it's the smallest tax increase in history.
Homer: Let the bears pay the Bear Tax. I pay the Homer tax.
Lisa: That's "homeowner" tax.
Homer: Well, anyway, I'm still outraged.
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