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"Skinner's Sense of Snow"
"Skinner's Sense of Snow"
While snowed in at Springfield Elementary, some of the kids obtain access to a vault containing permanent records.
Nelson: Hey, look how much Skinner makes - $25,000 a year!
Kids: Wow!
Bart (using calculator): Let’s see. He’s 40 years old, times 25 grand. Whoa, he’s a millionaire!
Kids: Wow!
Skinner: I wasn’t a principal when I was one!
Nelson: Plus, in the summer, he paints houses!
Milhouse: He’s a billionaire!
Kids: Wow!
Skinner: If I were a billionaire, why would I be living with my mother?
"HOMR"
"HOMR"
Homer undergoes an operation that has made him temporarily superintelligent.
Homer: I was working on a flat tax proposal, and I accidentally proved there’s no God.
Flanders: We’ll just see about that … uh-oh … well, maybe he made a mistake … Nope, it’s air-tight. Can’t let this little doozie get out.
[Flanders holds a lighter to Homer’s paper which is full of mathematical symbols including function notation, integrals and summation notation.]
2. Homer laments that his new-found intelligence has led to unexpected negative consequences.
Homer: Lisa, why didn’t you warn me? Being a brain has alienated me from all my friends.
Lisa: Dad, as intelligence goes up, happiness often goes down. In fact, I made a graph!
[She holds up a decreasing, concave upward graph on axes marked “intelligence” and “happiness.”]
Lisa (sadly): I make a lot of graphs.
"Bye Bye Nerdie"
"Bye Bye Nerdie"
Lisa wonders why a bully attacks only nerds.
Lisa: Why does she only go after the smart ones?
Nelson: That's like asking the square root of a million. No one will ever know.
Lisa: Someone will. I’m gonna crack the bully code.
2. Professor Frink addresses fellow scientists at the 12th Annual Big Science Thing conference.
Prof. Frink: Scientists . . . Scientists, please! I'm looking for some order. Some order, please, with the eyes forward and the hands neatly folded and the paying of attention. Pi is exactly three!
[The crowd gasps.]
Frink: Very sorry that it had to come to that, but now that I have your attention, we have some exciting new research from young Lisa Simpson. Let's bring her out and pay attention.
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