Embedded Files
"Brother's Little Helper"
"Brother's Little Helper"
Principal Skinner has brought Bart’s parents in for a conference.
Skinner: But worst of all, he drags down the grades of anyone who sits near him. Just look at this pattern!
[Skinner holds up a diagram of Bart’s head surrounded by D’s and F’s, in turn surrounded by A’s and B’s.]
Homer (laughing): Hey, that looks like Bart!
Skinner: And turning to the 3-D map, we see an unmistakable cone of ignorance.
[He holds up a model shaped like a portion of a pseudosphere depicting the class’s desks spiraling inward.]
Marge (shamefully): Put it away! Put it away!
2. Homer has acquired a personal digital assistant.
Homer: Ah, this thing will do anything. Watch. I'll ask it how many leagues in a furlong.
"Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?"
"Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?"
The Springfield Elementary students take a tour of the Springfield Shopper newspaper.
Tour guide: And to protect Mother Earth, each copy contains a certain percentage of
recycled paper.
Lisa: And what percent is that?
Tour guide: Zero! Zero’s a percent!
"Grift of the Magi"
"Grift of the Magi"
Springfield Elementary is being run by a toy company, with teachers replaced by marketing staff.
Teacher: Lisa, are you doing math?!
Lisa: Uh, just a few Venn diagrams.
Ralph: There’s more under her chair.
Lisa is punished by having to write “I will not do math in class” repeatedly on the chalkboard.
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