Season 6 (1994-1995)

"Itchy & Scratchy Land"

Animatronic robots at the Itchy & Scratchy Land amusement park begin to malfunction and attack the guests.

Frink: You've got to listen to me. Elementary chaos theory tells us that all robots will eventually turn against their masters and run amok in an orgy of blood and kicking and the biting with the metal teeth and the hurting and shoving.

Repairman: How much time do we have, professor?

Frink: Well, according to my calculations, the robots won't go berserk for at least 24 hours.

[The Scratchy robot grabs men by the throat and the Itchy robot goes after another man.]

Oh, I forgot to, er, carry the one.

"Bart's Girlfriend"

Bart has dinner with Reverend and Mrs. Lovejoy and their daughter, Jessica. Bart is infatuated with Jessica, who is home from boarding school.

Mrs. Lovejoy: So, Bart, how's school going? Jessica always gets straight A's.

Bart: Well, in my family grades aren't that important. It's what you learn that counts.

Rev. Lovejoy: Six times five, what is it?

Bart: Um, actually, numbers don't have much use in my future career: Olympic gold medal rocket sled champion!

Mrs. Lovejoy: Hmm. I didn't know the rocket sled was an Olympic event.

Bart: Well, no offense, lady, but what you don't know could fill a warehouse.

"Lisa On Ice"

Bart, Lisa and Homer watch a weather report on TV.

Bart: All right! Snow day. No school tomorrow!

Lisa: That doesn't mean you don't have to do your book report. What if the weatherman is wrong?

Bart: Lisa, that man is a professional meteorologist.

TV weatherman: Kent, I'd like to remind everybody to come on down and watch me at the Springfield Laff 'n' Brew.. The forecast calls for a 75 percent chance of hilarity.

Homer: I like those odds!

"A Star is Burns"

At a meeting at the town hall, Springfield residents brainstorm ways to improve the city’s reputation.

Marge: Now I know you haven’t liked some of my past suggestions, like switching to the metric system . . .

Grampa Simpson: The metric system is the tool of the devil! My car gets 40 rods to the hogshead, and that’s the way I likes it!

In Homer's brain, two monkeys in caps and gowns write math on a chalkboard.

2. Serving on the judging panel of the city’s new film festival, Homer has the tie-breaking vote.

Homer: Marge, I’ve got some serious thinking to do.

[In a cut-away view of Homer’s brain, chimps in caps and gowns study calculus at a blackboard.]

"Lisa's Wedding"

In a flashforward 10-15 years into the future, the Springfield Elementary second grade students are stacked in desks three-high, watching an interactive television program titled "Pepsi Presents Addition And Subtraction," starring D-list actor Troy McClure, wearing a Star Trek-styled uniform.

Troy: Now, turn to the next problem. If you have three Pepsis and drink one, how much more refreshed are you? You, the redhead in the Chicago school system?

Girl on screen: Pepsi?

Troy: Partial credit!

On a TV screen, Troy McClure holds up three fingers in front of a classroom chalkboard.

On a TV screen, Troy McClure stands at at classroom chalkboard and points to a student sitting at their desk.

"The PTA Disbands"

A teacher picketing in front of the school holds a picket sign.

A teacher carries a picket sign reading, “2 + 2 / A Raise Is Due.”

2. Professor Frink, substitute teacher for the preschoolers, demonstrates a popcorn lawnmower toy, with math written on the board behind him.

Frink: So, the compression and expansion of the longitudinal waves cause the erratic oscillation – you can see it there – of the neighboring particles.

[A child raises their hand.]

Frink: Yes? What is it. What. What is it?

Child: Can I play with it?

Frink: No, you can’t play with it. You won’t enjoy it on as many levels as I do. The colors, children!

Professor Frink speaks to children at the chalkboard.

Professor Frink uses a popcorn lawnmower toy at the chalkboard, in front of children

"Lemon of Troy"

Bart and Milhouse chat in class while Mrs. Krabappel writes Roman numerals on the board.

Mrs. Krabappel: Class, please! If you don’t learn Roman numerals, you’ll never know the years certain motion pictures were copyrighted.

Nelson [bursting in]: Everybody come quick! Something’s happened. No time to explain.

[The kids run out after him.]

Mrs. Krabappel: No, children, no. Your education is important. Roman numerals, et cetera. Whatever. I tried!

[She lights a cigarette.]

Mrs. Krabappel waves at her hands at her students.

Mrs. Krabappel sits at her desk in her classroom.

2. A disguised Bart meets up with some Shelbyville kids.

Kid: How come we’ve never seen you in school?

Bart: I don’t go to school.

Kid: OK, what’s two plus two?

Bart: Five.

Kid: Ah, his story checks out.

3. Bart hides from the pursuing Shelbyville kids behind a door at the zoo labeled, “Danger: Tiger Feeding Area.” Inside are many doors labeled with Roman numerals. Bart reads a note: “Caution: Exit through Door 7 only. All other rooms contain man-eating tigers.”

Bart: Roman numerals?! They never even tried to teach us that in school! OK, think, Bart. Where have you seen Roman numerals before? I know: “Rocky V.” That was the fifth one! So, Rocky 5 [points to V], plus Rocky 2 [points to II], equals Rocky 7 [points to VII], Adrian’s Revenge!

In a room with many doors, Bart Simpson reads a note labeled "Caution."

Bart Simpson looks at many doors labeled with Roman numerals.

"Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)"

Mr. Burns looks at a tiny anvil at Homer's feet.

After Homer rushes into the office of his boss and yells at him, Mr. Burns presses a button that drops a tiny anvil onto Homer’s head.

Mr. Burns [looking at an anvil labeled “1000 grams”]: Hmm, it sounded large when I ordered it. I can’t make hide nor hair of these metric boobytraps.

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