1. Professor Frink loans a stack of books to Homer, who wants to become a successful inventor like his new hero, Thomas Edison. Frink’s blackboard contains mathematical writing.
Prof. Frink: And these should give you the grounding you'll need in thermodynamics, hyper-mathematics, and of course, microcalifragilistics.
2. In his basement, Homer writes at his blackboard which contains work related to physics and mathematics, including the false equation 3987^12 + 4365^12 = 4472^12. Presumably using the work on the board, Homer causes an explosion in the basement. Shortly afterward, Homer reverses the inequality sign on the chalkboard.
In the “Starship Poopers” segment of this annual non-canonical anthology of short scary stories, Homer finds out as a guest on "The Jerry Springer Show" that alien Kang is Maggie's father, and the two get into a physical fight with insults. Expletives are bleeped out.
Homer (yelling): You one-eyed, two-timing [bleep] [bleep] I'm gonna [bleep]!
Kang (yelling): Oh, yeah? Well [bleep] hyperbolic paraboloid [bleep] yo mama!
Homer buys a lobster from a tank at the supermarket.
Shopkeeper: Those are eight dollars a pound, sport.
Homer: Hmm. Eight dollars a pound times, say, oh, five pounds, is, um, let’s see . . . How many pounds in a gallon?
2. Nelson approaches Lisa by her locker at school and tempts her with the possibility of paying to cheat on a quiz.
Nelson: Psst, Lisa! Check it out.
[He shows her a piece of paper.]
Nelson: Tomorrow’s fraction quiz. I’ll give you the numerators free, but the denominators are gonna cost you.
Lisa: I don’t want your dirty denominators!
1. The Springfield townsfolk attempt to locate the children, who are broadcasting their parents’ secrets from an unknown location.
Mayor Quimby: Settle down, people. As we speak, Chief Wiggum is tracking down those little squealers using the latest in crime-fighting technology.
Chief Wiggum: Aw, I got nothin’. How ‘bout you, Frinky?
Prof. Frink: I have captured the signal and am presently triangulating the vectors and compressing the data down in order to express it as a function of my hand. They're over there!
See the precalculus worksheet on functions.
2. Professor Frink uses his scientific instruments to determine that the broadcast is coming from within a giant coffee cup affixed to a billboard.
Prof. Frink: Brilliant! They transduced amplitude modulation via the concavity of that oversized beverage conveyance. I mean, that is some clever goyvin!
Lisa and her fellow Mensa members form a council to run Springfield after the mayor abdicates.
Principal Skinner: Not only are the trains now running on time, they’re running on metric time. Remember this moment, people: 80 past 2:00 on April 47th.
Physicist Stephen Hawking, referred to as the world’s smartest man, visits Springfield to express his disappointment with the selfish decisions made by the council.
Hawking: Your theory of a donut-shaped universe is intriguing, Homer. I may have to steal it.
Homer: Wow, I can’t believe someone I never heard of is hanging out with a guy like me.