Embedded Files
"Bart the Murderer"
"Bart the Murderer"
Bart’s dog spits out his chewed-up homework – it reads “9 x 9 = 100.”
"Stark Raving Dad"
"Stark Raving Dad"
Homer has been committed to a mental hospital and receives a tour of the facility by his roommate.
Homer has been committed to a mental hospital and receives a tour of the facility by his roommate.
Leon Kompowsky: Homer, this is Floyd. He’s an idiot savant – give him any two numbers and he can multiply them in his head, just like that.
Homer: OK, five times nine!
Floyd: 45.
Homer: Wow.
"Homer Defined"
"Homer Defined"
Homer reads the "US of A Today" newspaper.
Homer: Here's good news! According to this eye-catching article, SAT scores are declining at a slower rate!
Lisa: Dad, I think this paper is a flimsy hodgepodge of pie graphs, factoids and Larry King.
Homer: Hey, this is the only paper in America that's not afraid to tell the truth, that everything is just fine.
"Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk"
"Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk"
Homer’s stockbroker tells him that his stock is now 25 cents a share, with a value of $25. Homer eagerly tells the broker to sell, then dreams of how he could spend the money (getting a haircut, getting the car hot-waxed, buying a $25 hammer). He spends it on an imported beer.
Homer’s stockbroker tells him that his stock is now 25 cents a share, with a value of $25. Homer eagerly tells the broker to sell, then dreams of how he could spend the money (getting a haircut, getting the car hot-waxed, buying a $25 hammer). He spends it on an imported beer.
Marge: Bart, Bart! Turn to the financial channel. Aunt Patty says our stock is skyrocketing.
TV host: Unconfirmed takeover rumors have pushed Burns Worldwide from one-eighth to 52 and a quarter.
[Not knowing that Homer sold the stock already, Marge uses a calculator to calculate the value of the family’s stock.]
Marge: (gasps) Your father’s stock is now worth $5200!
"I Married Marge"
"I Married Marge"
Homer attends a “Million$ for Nothing” seminar.
Speaker: First, let me assure you that this is not one of those shady pyramid schemes you've been hearing about. No, sir. Our model is the trapezoid!
"Radio Bart"
"Radio Bart"
The blackboard in Bart's classroom has a long division worked example.
2. Girls at school play jump rope and chant.
Girls: One plus one plus three is five / Little Bart Simpson’s buried alive / He’s so meaty / He’s so sweet / Now the rats have Bart to eat!
"Lisa the Greek"
Homer watches a TV sports program in which a commentator explains his poor prediction.
"Lisa the Greek"
Homer watches a TV sports program in which a commentator explains his poor prediction.
Smooth Jimmy Apollo: Well, folks, when you're right 52% of the time, you're wrong 48% of the time.
Homer: Why didn't you say that before?!
"Homer at the Bat"
"Homer at the Bat"
Bart admires Homer’s homemade baseball bat.
Bart: Wow! How many home runs you gonna hit with that?
Homer: Let's see, we play thirty games, ten at-bats a game . . . 3000.
Mr. Burns employs a hypnotist to improve his power plant’s baseball team’s chance of winning.
Hypnotist to team: You will give one hundred and ten percent.
Team (hypnotized, monotone): That’s impossible. No one can give more than one hundred percent. By definition, that is the most anyone can give.
"Dog of Death"
"Dog of Death"
An ad for the state lottery is shown on TV, followed by a related news update, viewed by Springfield Elementary staff.
Employee: I don't need your crummy job, Mr. Employer! I've won the lottery!
Employer: Well, who needs employees? I won the lottery, too!
[Two window washers descend on a scaffold, each with a huge bag of cash at his feet.]
Window washers: We both won the lottery!
All (to camera): Why don't you win the lottery, too!
Announcer: The state lottery, where everybody wins! Actual odds of winning: one in 380,000,000.
Kent: But there's already one big winner: our state school system, which gets fully half the profits from the lottery.
Principal Skinner: Just think what we can buy with that money. History books that know how the Korean War came out, math books that don't have that base six crap in them, and a state-of-the-art detention hall where children are held in place with magnets.
Teacher: Magnets. Always with the magnets.
See the lottery classroom worksheet.
"Colonel Homer"
"Colonel Homer"
One of Springfield’s movie theaters is called the Googolplex..
"Bart's Friend Falls in Love"
"Bart's Friend Falls in Love"
Kent Brockman [hosting Smartline]: Did you know that thirty-four million Americans are obese? Taken together, that excess blubber could fill the Grand Canyon two-fifths of the way up. That may not sound impressive, but keep in mind, it is a very big canyon.
2. Bart [to Milhouse]: You cry when you scrape your knee, you cry when they’re out of chocolate milk, you cry when you’re doing long division and you have a remainder left over.
3. Martin's bed sheets have math on them.
"Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?"
"Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?"
Homer takes his physical exam at the nuclear power plant.
Scientist: This can't be right. This man has 104% body fat!
[He turns to Homer.]
Scientist: Hey, no eating in the tank!
Homer [eating a chicken drumstick]: Go to hell.
2. Homer’s brother Herb attempts to invent a machine to translate baby noises. He watches an oscilloscope while holding Maggie and attempts to discover what her noises mean.
Herb: The amplitude of the sine wave is insufficient for “Burp Me,” and this sawtooth formation is something I’ve never . . .
[Maggie spits up on him.]
Herb (dryly): Eureka.
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