Bart, upset that his parents cannot afford to buy him a cell phone, is hit in the head by a golf ball which he angrily returns to the nearby golf club, where he sees Dr. Hibbert playing.
Bart: Is this your ball?
Dr. Hibbert: Why, yes, it is (chuckles).
[Dr. Hibbert hands Bart a dollar bill.]
Bart: Don’t tell me where I go. A dollar? What for?
Dr. Hibbert: It’s the least I can do. These balls cost five dollars new.
Bart: So, I can get a dollar for every ball I find? Then if a cell phone costs $100, how many balls do I need?
Dr. Hibbert (to his golf partner): This is why my kids go to private school (chuckles).
In a flashback, newlywed Homer prepares to carve his and Marge’s names into a tree as a dedication to their love. The tree bears several pairs of names and initials and also the equation “1 + 1 = 2.”
Lisa watches an Itchy & Scratchy cartoon in which Scratchy, with Einstein’s brain, writes mathematical formulas on a chalkboard. Later in the cartoon, Scratchy uses a time machine to revisit this moment.
The Springfield Elementary staff, including P.E. teacher Coach Krupt, resort to desperate measures to assure that the children succeed on the Vice President’s Assessment Test.
Krupt (to Martin): Biggest city in Montana!
Martin: Helena?
Krupt: Wrong! [He throws a dodgeball at Martin.]
PE teacher (to Bart): 912 divided by 6!
Bart: You can’t teach this way!
1. Marge walks past a truck advertising Science Water with calculus notation in its advertisement.
2. At Springfield Elementary, Marge walks past a crowded classroom of students watching their teacher solve arithmetic exercises at the chalkboard.
3. Lisa’s teacher Miss Hoover looks at her watch while standing at the front of her classroom.
Miss Hoover: . . . Three, two one. Okay, children, I’ve just been granted tenure. So, I’m gonna sit back and let Ralph teach for a while.
[She sits down to read a magazine, and Ralph approaches the front of the classroom.]
Ralph (clears his throat): Class, in what year was one plus one?
4. As the Simpson family eats together in the dining room, Marge talks about what she saw at the school, and Lisa reads a report on its standing.
Marge: . . . And because of cutbacks, they were combining math with P.E. They were playing “dodge book”!
Lisa: Look at this. Springfield Elementary’s rating is so low, it’s more than two standard deviations below the norm.
Homer (groaning): Oh, I can’t understand that math reference, because I went to Springfield Elementary!