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You may have heard that the mascot of P4A 2024 was a creature named Jarrod. This is incorrect. There is no Jarrod here. Here there is only information about the real mascots of P4A 2024.
Jarrod? No. Absolutely not. Even Brennan hates him. No.
Fine. If you must know. This is Jarrod.
Ol' Trash Water
During the late second night of the 2024 P4A, chat was encouraging Hank to tell secrets! He told the story of thinking he had found a half-full bottle of vodka when dumpster diving, but it turned out to be water.
"TRASH WATER" declared chat. And then Hank put on a hat and suddenly he was Ol' Trash Water.
Ol' Trash Water's mother named all of her children after what she saw when she gave birth. He was born next to the bucket of old trash water, not the new trash water. Trash water is not trash, it is used to process the trash. You process the trash with the trash water, it is part of the process. First the new trash water, then you process it with the old trash water.
He is the 22nd kid. When he was born he landed in the old trash water [yes, this conflicts with the last paragraph, but he said both things]. Ol' Trash Water calls chat "all y'all city folk" and insists that "all y'all city folk just won't understand."
Some of his siblings' names are: Piece Of Dirt (brother), Horseshoe (sister), Toe Nail Clipping (sister), Toe Nail Clipping's Toe Nail (sister), Bunch (brother, not revealed until later), Rusty Bucket (brother, named after Uncle Rusty Bucket, revealed P4A 2025), Plate (sister, revealed P4A 2025), Inside Of My Eyelids aka Lids (sister, revealed P4A 2025)
Other relatives: Andrew (cousin, named for Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill), Ten Dollar Bill (cousin), Paved Paradise (sister's cousin's brother)
He does not know anyone named Jarrod.
Ol' Trash Water returned on Sunday when the Tiltify reached $1.4 million. He knows all about live streams. They are streams full of life!
Ol' Trash Water told us about how he was a radio DJ on K1082fm, playing his cousin’s music and other music from the community. His cousin’s dad’s brother, Hot Dog Buns' music has never been turned into digital format.
After inhaling some helium, Ol' Trash Water told the story of his Nana, Candlewax aka Old Gross Brown Candlewax Splattered on Top of the Bureu.
Candlewax loved Hot Dog Buns, the greatest country western music singer of our generation.
Their kid is Just A Buncha Hay, we called him Bunch. Bunch is Ol' Trash Water's brother. This means Ol' Trash Water is the child of his Nana and Old Hot Dog Buns!
[Ol' Trash Water acknowledges that this conflicts with previous lore.]
During the second night of P4A 2025, while Brennan was guest hosting, Hank popped a balloon transforming him back into Ol' Trash water. Ol’ Trash Water knew he was in a charity livestream and saw a young man, Brennan Lee Mulligan, and said “he looks like he might have an O in front of his last name.” He “greatly respects the people of the Ireland nation.”
Brennan was trying to use the Banana Loca and Ol’ Trash Water responded, “It’s nice to have access to food.” He explained that while growing up, he stuffed a rabbit full of ants because he needed an extra crunch and spice. “Have you ever tried that, Mr. Lee Mulligan?”
Brennan was baffled and may have cursed, but his internet cut out a bit. “Watch your language, son,” said Ol’ Trash Water.
After getting distracted by eating a Loca’d banana, Brennan asked Ol’ Trash Water to tell him about himself. Ol’ Trash Water explained how babies in his family are named after the first thing the birthing parent saw.
Brennan asked what part of the country Ol’ Trash Water is from. He said he’s from under it. When Brennan tried to clarify if that meant underground or Mexico, Ol’ Trash Water said he doesn’t know what Mexico is. “The area of the country that y’all are from, up top? We’re from down below. Not far down, just a bit.” Brennan tried to clarify if he’s from a cave system, since Brennan was on Tangents about caves. But no, Ol’ Trash Water was from down with the rabbits and ants.
When Brennan mentioned that he doesn’t understand because he’s from New York (all y’all city folk just don’t understand), Ol’ Trash Water started talking about Old York, where peppermint patties come from. Brennan decided to fact check this and found that York Peppermint Patties come from the Hershey company, not York, England. “Yeah,” said Ol’ Trash Water, “York, Pennsylvania.”
“Do you think New York is named after York, Pennsylvania?” questioned Brennan.
Ol’ Trash Water stumbled over his words a bit before saying, “city folks just don’t understand.”
“WHAT DON’T I UNDERSTAND OL’ TRASH WATER?” demanded Brennan, “Explain it to me! And then explain how a rabbit digs your house!” A fight began:
“I don’t think I need to take this tone of voice from a young man like you. The first thing your mother saw was a Brennan!”
“Hey Ol’ Trash Water, how about you keep what you think my momma saw to yourself, baby, okay? I’ll knock that straw hat off your head so fast.”
“If you’d ask politely I’ll tell you how to get a rabbit and an ant to work together to dig a hole.”
Brennan took a deep breath and said, calmly, “From the bottom of my heart and with sincere apology for how I’ve comported myself thus far in this interaction, how do you gain the trust and assistance of rabbits and ants such that they will construct a home for you?”
“Young man, one baked bean at a time.” Ol’ Trash Water explained that you build trust with the ants and rabbits one baked bean at a time before laying out the beans in a spiral braid pattern. Otherwise, you get rabbit holes, which you can barely fit in. In a matter of weeks the rabbit will have 3-4 feet dug out. When the rabbit can’t dig anymore, stuff it full of ants and cook it for dinner time.
Process the process!
Possum
For a few years there has been a true grassroots effort to make possum the P4A mascot. P4A2024 came the closest to succeeding. Whenever chat would discuss possible mascots someone would bring up possum. When Drawfee asked about things that had happened, enough of chat mentioned possum that Jacob drew Project for Possum. Since Jarrod was also visiting during this, he mentioned that he does not like possums. Even better!
At another moment, John was trying to figure out the mascot and ran a poll of Jarrod vs possum. Possum won (in part because John forgot to vote when he donated).
When Hank and Alexis were hosting together, Alexis tried to find a possum mask to wear, but could only find a squirrel one.
In the last hours of P4A, Hank and John ran a poll to decide the official mascot. Possum came in third.
In the Sunday morning delirium, Hank's Jarrod-onion-origin puppet show included a possum saving Jarrod from TB by making him a vampire. It's okay, no one understands.
In the 2025 P4A, Hank popped a balloon telling him to do a possum finger puppet show about a hot take. The hot take he chose was "Jarrod is cute." The overview of the podcast can be found in the Jarrod page and will not be put here since it talks about him.
Honk Green
Honk has long been a nickname for Hank and Honk Green was an account on Twitter. Early in P4A 2024, someone donated and commented that there should be more honking. Hank honked and continued to randomly honk throughout the livestream.
Honk Green was built in Nerdcrafteria!
When Drawfee asked chat for things to draw, Honk Green was suggested. Nathan drew Honk Green. As Nathan drew, there was a discussion of goose scents and getting a goose. "Acquiring the goose is child's play!" said Hank.
When the official mascot poll happened at the end of the livestream, Honk Green won.
In the 2025 P4A, chat was shocked to be greeted by Honk Green only 3 hours into the livestream. We learned that the creature we have known as Honk Green is truly Dr. Billiam Feathersby.
Dr. Billiam "Honk Green" Feathersby is a Jedi Master from the High Downy Council of Mallardia. He is an emissary to our planet because "you make a lot of bizzare decisions." He has been searching for any sign that our species is worth saving because any species that can travel interstellar space could wipe us out. In fact, his species can move stellar core fragments. There was one heading towards Earth, but they chose to move it. "We could have just let it go, but we didn't."
Dr. Billiam Feathersby is a big fan of some of the things he has learned about Earth including standup comedy, crowd work, and Sabrina Carpenter. Now his species has Quackle Roan and Sabrina Quackenter. He also likes the work being done by organizations like Save the Children, which is why Dr. Feathersby left for a bit to let Hank talk to Ettore.
While Dr. Billiam Feathersby was visiting, the P4A website was updated with rotating pictures of him in a Project for Awesome frame.
When Hank returned to the stream, he mentioned that he doesn't trust Dr. Billiam "Honk Green" Feathersby to be the kindest about people.
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