Session 18 Lesson Plan - Creating Learning Opportunities

Here is a summary of COMENSA Behavioural Standard 4: Creating Awareness and Opportunities for Learning

The coach helps clients see situations from new perspectives.

The focus is on increasing self-awareness rather than giving advice.

Coaches provide feedback that is useful, respectful, and constructive.

Clients are encouraged to explore their own thoughts, emotions, and assumptions.

Powerful questions stimulate deeper reflection and insight.

Awareness is often the first step before meaningful change can occur.

Coaches help clients identify patterns in behaviour and thinking.

Learning comes from the client's discoveries, not the coach's solutions.

The coach creates opportunities for "aha" moments.

Different coaching tools and techniques may be used to deepen awareness.

The coach broadens the client's perspective without imposing opinions.

Clients are encouraged to recognise the impact of their choices and beliefs.

The coach trusts the client's ability to find their own answers.

Learning is linked to the client's real-world challenges and goals.

Silence and reflection are often used to allow insights to emerge.

At higher levels of mastery, coaches are comfortable not knowing where the conversation will lead.

Master coaches create space rather than forcing awareness.

The coach partners with the client in exploring meaning and possibilities.

Clients leave sessions with greater understanding of themselves and their situation.

Success is measured by the client's growth in awareness, learning, confidence, and ability to make empowered choices.

In one sentence: Standard 4 is about helping clients discover new awareness, learn from their experiences, and generate their own insights that lead to sustainable change.

Here is a summary of Behavioural Standard 4 – Creating Awareness and Opportunities for Learning from the COMENSA Coaching Behavioural Standards Framework.

Core Definition (What you must be able to do)

As a coach, you must be able to:

1. Express insights to the client in a way that provides useful and meaningful feedback.

2. Help the client recognise the impact of their own thoughts and feelings about any given situation.

3. Use your own knowledge and experience as a resource that supports but does not impose on the client's decisions.

Progression Across the Three Levels

Level 1 – CCC (COMENSA Credentialed Coach)

• Is mostly fairly direct but sometimes uses many words to soften feedback.

• Is invested in their own insight being correct.

• Asks questions to stimulate client's thinking about new thoughts and feelings.

• Sometimes gives their own interpretation.

Level 2 – CSC (COMENSA Senior Coach)

• Is usually direct but sometimes holds back sharing an insight in case the client is not ready.

• Asks questions to invite the client to realise the impact of new insights – both on the situation and on who the client is.

• Shares from own experience in a detached way.

Level 3 – CMC (COMENSA Master Coach)

• Shares easily and directly with the client.

• Has no attachment to being right.

• Trusts the client to choose how to respond in their own way without forcing awareness.

• Allows enough space for the client to experience their own insights.

• Is comfortable with not knowing where the exploration might lead.

Key Takeaway 

If your programme prepares learners for CCC level, teach them to be direct but kind, and aware that they may want to be "right."

For CSC level, teach them to hold back when needed and share experience without attachment.

For CMC level, teach them to fully trust the client’s process, create space, and be comfortable with uncertainty – the client finds their own answers.

Here are all the details of Behavioural Standard 4 – Creating Awareness and Opportunities for Learning from the COMENSA Coaching Behavioural Standards Framework, including the full competency definition and the specific behavioural indicators for each of the three designation levels (CCC, CSC, CMC).

Creating Awareness and Opportunities for Learning

What You Must Be Able to Do (Core Definition)

A coach at any level must demonstrate the ability to:

1. Express insights to the client in a way that provides useful and meaningful feedback.

2. Help the client recognise the impact of their own thoughts and feelings about any given situation.

3. Use your own knowledge and experience as a resource in a way that supports but does not impose on the client's decisions.

Detailed Breakdown by Designation Level

Level 1 – COMENSA Credentialed Coach (CCC)

Behavioural Indicator

What It Looks Like in Practice

Directness of feedback

Is mostly fairly direct, but sometimes uses many words to soften the impact of feedback.

Attachment to own insight

Is invested in their own insight being correct – may push their own perspective.

Questioning style

Asks questions to stimulate the client's thinking about new thoughts and feelings.

Use of interpretation

Sometimes gives their own interpretation rather than letting the client fully arrive at their own.

Summary for CCC:
The coach is learning to be direct but still softens feedback with extra words. They tend to believe their own insight is right and may offer their interpretation. They ask good questions but haven't fully let go of steering the client.

Level 2 – COMENSA Senior Coach (CSC)

Behavioural Indicator

What It Looks Like in Practice

Directness of feedback

Is usually direct but sometimes holds back sharing an insight in case the client might not be ready to hear it.

Attachment to own insight

Shows restraint – prioritises the client's readiness over their own need to share.

Questioning style

Asks questions to invite the client to realise the impact of new insights – both on the situation and on who the client is as a person.

Use of experience

Shares from own experience in a detached way – offers it as a resource, not a prescription.

Summary for CSC:
The coach is more direct and shows restraint. They hold back insights when the client isn't ready. They ask deeper questions about impact on identity. They share experience without attachment, offering it neutrally.

Level 3 – COMENSA Master Coach (CMC)

Behavioural Indicator

What It Looks Like in Practice

Directness of feedback

Shares easily and directly with the client – no hesitation, no softening.

Attachment to own insight

Has no attachment to being right – the client's truth matters more than the coach's.

Trust in client

Trusts the client to choose how to respond in their own way without forcing awareness.

Creating space

Allows enough space for the client to experience their own insights – no rushing.

Comfort with uncertainty

Is comfortable with not knowing where the exploration might lead – does not need to arrive at a predetermined answer.

Summary for CMC:
The coach is completely free of ego. They share directly, don't need to be right, and trust the client completely. They create spaciousness for insight to emerge and are entirely comfortable with uncertainty and unknown outcomes.

Comparison Table – Level Progression

Aspect

CCC (Level 1)

CSC (Level 2)

CMC (Level 3)

Feedback style

Fairly direct, uses many words to soften

Usually direct, holds back if client not ready

Easily and directly shares

Attachment to being right

Invested in own insight being correct

Shows restraint

No attachment to being right

Trust in client

Limited – gives own interpretation

Growing trust – shares experience detachedly

Fully trusts client to respond their own way

Space creation

Minimal

Some

Allows full space for client's insights

Comfort with uncertainty

Low – wants to reach answers

Moderate

High – comfortable not knowing

Practical Implications for Your Training Programme

If you are designing a training programme that aligns to this competency:

For CCC-level preparation:

• Teach coaches to ask open-ended questions that stimulate thinking about feelings.

• Help them recognise when they are imposing their own interpretation.

• Practice giving direct feedback using fewer words.

For CSC-level preparation:

• Teach coaches to assess client readiness before sharing insights.

• Practice asking questions about impact on identity ("What does this say about who you are?").

• Train detached sharing of experience ("I've seen something similar – would you like to hear about it?").

For CMC-level preparation:

• Develop ego-free coaching – practice letting go of being right.

• Teach spaciousness – comfortable silences, waiting for client insights.

• Train comfort with uncertainty – coaching without a destination.

How This Competency Is Assessed in Credentialing

During your 40-minute online evaluation, one evaluator will act as a coachee with a real situation. The evaluators will assess whether you:

• Express insights without imposing.

• Help the client recognise the impact of their thoughts and feelings.

• Use your knowledge and experience as a resource, not a prescription.

• Demonstrate the level-appropriate behaviours for the designation you are applying for (CCC, CSC, or CMC).

According to the COMENSA Coaching Behavioural Standards Framework, Behavioural Standard 4: Creating Awareness and Opportunities for Learning is the coach's ability to:¹

• Express insights to the client in a way that provides useful and meaningful feedback.

• Enable the client to recognise the impact of their own thoughts and feelings.

• Use the coach's knowledge and experience as a resource without imposing decisions on the client.

COMENSA Standard 4 Markers

These are the practical markers assessors typically look for during a coaching demonstration:

1. Provides constructive feedback respectfully

• Feedback is direct but non-judgmental.

• Feedback increases awareness rather than creates defensiveness.

• Observations are factual rather than interpretive.

• The client remains empowered.

• Feedback serves the client's agenda.

Master Coach example:
"I'm noticing that every option you describe seems to begin with what could go wrong. What are you making of that?"

2. Explores client insights deeply

• Does not stop at the first insight.

• Encourages deeper reflection.

• Expands perspectives.

• Explores assumptions behind conclusions.

• Helps clients connect patterns across situations.

Master Coach example:
"What else might this insight be showing you about yourself?"

3. Stimulates new thinking

• Uses questions that provoke reflection.

• Encourages different perspectives.

• Challenges assumptions respectfully.

• Promotes curiosity.

• Creates opportunities for discovery.

Master Coach example:
"If you knew success was guaranteed, what might you do differently?"

4. Explores thoughts and feelings

• Works with cognition and emotion.

• Helps clients recognise emotional patterns.

• Links emotions to behaviour.

• Explores internal drivers.

• Supports emotional awareness.

Master Coach example:
"What feeling seems to be driving that decision?"

5. Uses coaching tools appropriately

• Selects tools in service of the client.

• Does not overuse models.

• Adapts techniques to the client.

• Uses exercises to deepen awareness.

• Maintains coaching partnership throughout.

Master Coach example:
"Would it be useful to map these competing priorities visually?"

6. Encourages self-discovery

• Client generates their own answers.

• Coach avoids solving problems.

• Learning emerges from the client.

• Client arrives at their own conclusions.

• Ownership remains with the client.

Master Coach example:
"What answer are you discovering for yourself?"

7. Facilitates perspective shifts

• Helps clients see new possibilities.

• Identifies limiting beliefs.

• Encourages reframing.

• Broadens understanding.

• Creates transformational awareness.

Master Coach example:
"How might someone who admires you view this situation?"

8. Creates learning from experience

• Uses current situations as learning opportunities.

• Encourages reflection on actions taken.

• Extracts lessons from success and failure.

• Connects experiences to future growth.

• Integrates learning into daily life.

Master Coach example:
"What is this experience teaching you?"

9. Allows silence and reflection

• Does not rush insight.

• Uses silence effectively.

• Gives space for thinking.

• Allows emotional processing.

• Trusts the client's internal wisdom.

Master Coach example:
"Take your time with that..."

10. Trusts the client's capacity

• Does not force awareness.

• Believes the client is resourceful.

• Respects client pace.

• Supports autonomy.

• Avoids attachment to outcomes.

Master Coach example:
"I trust you'll know what is right for you when you're ready."

11. Invites learning review

(COMENSA Senior Coach marker)

• Asks what was learned.

• Encourages reflection on insights.

• Consolidates awareness.

• Captures key takeaways.

• Reinforces learning.

Master Coach example:
"What have you learned about yourself during this conversation?"

12. Creates transformational awareness

(COMENSA Master Coach marker)

• Awareness shifts identity, not just behaviour.

• Insights create lasting change.

• Client experiences new possibilities.

• Learning affects future decisions.

• Transformation emerges naturally.

Master Coach example:
"How is this changing the way you see yourself?"

Closest ICF Equivalents

COMENSA Standard 4 aligns most closely with:

• ICF Competency 7 – Evokes Awareness

• ICF Competency 8 – Facilitates Client Growth

• Parts of ICF Competency 6 – Listens Actively

Quick Assessment Question

If you are being evaluated by COMENSA, assessors will often ask:

1. Did the coach increase awareness?

2. Did the client generate their own learning?

3. Did the coach avoid giving advice?

4. Was feedback respectful and useful?

5. Was there evidence of new thinking?

6. Did the client gain insight?

7. Were assumptions explored?

8. Was learning consolidated?

9. Did the client own the outcome?

10. Was there evidence of transformation rather than problem-solving?

These are often the strongest markers that separate a competent coach from a senior or master-level coach.

Below is an overview of COMENSA Behavioural Standard 4: Creating Opportunities for Learning

1. Creating Awareness for Learning Opportunities

1. Helps the client recognise that every experience contains learning potential

2. Brings attention to patterns in thoughts, behaviours, and emotions

3. Uses powerful questions to surface hidden assumptions

4. Encourages reflection on both successes and failures as data

5. Supports the client in noticing “what is happening” without judgment

2. Encouraging Self-Discovery

1. Guides the client to generate their own insights rather than giving advice

2. Uses silence and presence to allow deeper thinking

3. Asks exploratory questions like “What do you notice about this?”

4. Reflects client language to deepen awareness loops

5. Helps the client connect past experiences to current behaviour patterns

3. Expanding Perspectives

1. Challenges limited thinking by offering alternative viewpoints through questions

2. Encourages the client to step outside fixed narratives

3. Explores multiple interpretations of the same situation

4. Helps the client see systems, relationships, and wider context

5. Supports cognitive flexibility and openness to new possibilities

4. Facilitating Reflection-in-Action

1. Encourages real-time awareness during coaching conversations

2. Pauses the client when insight emerges to deepen learning

3. Helps the client observe their thinking while speaking

4. Uses summarising to highlight emerging patterns

5. Links present insights to immediate behavioural shifts

5. Linking Learning to Real-World Application

1. Translates insights into practical behavioural experiments

2. Helps the client define clear actions from learning moments

3. Encourages accountability for trying new approaches

4. Explores barriers to implementation before they arise

5. Reinforces learning through reflection on outcomes after action

6. Strengthening Client Ownership of Learning

1. Ensures insights are client-generated, not coach-imposed

2. Reinforces “you discovered this” language

3. Avoids rescuing or over-explaining

4. Encourages clients to articulate their own conclusions

5. Builds independence in the client’s thinking process

7. Using Questions to Deepen Learning

1. Uses open-ended, exploratory questioning

2. Avoids leading or suggestive questions

3. Layers questions progressively to deepen insight

4. Asks “what else?” to expand thinking space

5. Focuses on meaning-making rather than problem-solving only

8. Reinforcing Awareness Through Reflection

1. Summarises key insights without interpretation bias

2. Mirrors client language to reinforce self-recognition

3. Highlights shifts in thinking during the session

4. Helps the client notice progress in real time

5. Encourages journaling or post-session reflection practices

9. Supporting Emotional Learning

1. Helps clients notice emotional triggers and responses

2. Links emotion patterns to behaviour choices

3. Creates safety for exploring difficult emotions

4. Encourages curiosity instead of avoidance

5. Normalises emotional responses as part of learning

10. Embedding Continuous Learning Mindset

1. Encourages seeing life as an ongoing learning process

2. Reinforces experimentation over perfection

3. Frames setbacks as feedback loops

4. Builds resilience through reflective practice

5. Helps clients develop lifelong learning identity

The ICF equivalent of COMENSA Behavioural Standard 4: Creating Opportunities for Learning sits mainly in the ICF “Cultivating Learning and Growth” domain, specifically across three Core Competencies:

• 8. Facilitates Client Growth (Creating Awareness)

• 9. Designing Actions

• 10. Planning and Goal Setting

• (plus part of) 11. Managing Progress and Accountability

But the closest direct match to your COMENSA Standard 4 is:

ICF Core Competency 9: Designing Actions (this is the strongest equivalent)

This competency explicitly includes creating opportunities for learning and action during and between sessions.

1. Closest Equivalent: ICF 9 – Designing Actions (Primary Match)

This is the direct ICF mirror of COMENSA “Creating Opportunities for Learning.”

5 Key Points (ICF equivalent thinking)

1. Creates opportunities for the client to experiment with new behaviours during coaching

2. Encourages exploration of alternative actions and possibilities

3. Supports client-led brainstorming of strategies and solutions

4. Promotes “learning through doing” (action-based learning)

5. Helps the client integrate insights into real-life application

👉 This aligns almost exactly with COMENSA’s focus on learning through awareness → experimentation → application

2. Supporting Equivalent: ICF 8 – Creating Awareness

(COMENSA equivalent: Awareness for learning opportunities + reflection)

5 Key Points

1. Helps client see patterns in thinking, emotion, and behaviour

2. Facilitates new perspectives and reframing of experience

3. Uses questioning to deepen insight and self-discovery

4. Identifies gaps between perception and reality

5. Builds awareness that becomes the foundation for learning

👉 This is the “inner learning engine” behind COMENSA Standard 4

3. Application Layer: ICF 10 – Planning and Goal Setting

(COMENSA equivalent: Linking learning to structured development)

5 Key Points

1. Translates insights into structured development goals

2. Creates clear, measurable learning outcomes

3. Adjusts plans based on ongoing learning

4. Identifies resources to support continued growth

5. Aligns learning with long-term client vision

4. Accountability Layer: ICF 11 – Managing Progress

(COMENSA equivalent: Embedding learning into behaviour change)

5 Key Points

1. Holds client responsible for implementing learning actions

2. Tracks progress between sessions

3. Encourages reflection on results of experiments

4. Reinforces consistency in behavioural change

5. Strengthens client ownership of growth process

Simple Mapping Summary

COMENSA Behavioural Standard 4

Closest ICF Equivalent

Creating opportunities for learning

ICF 9: Designing Actions (core match)

Awareness for learning

ICF 8: Creating Awareness

Turning learning into structure

ICF 10: Planning & Goal Setting

Sustaining learning outcomes

ICF 11: Managing Progress

Master Coach Insight (Important Distinction)

• COMENSA language: “Creating opportunities for learning” (explicit developmental intent)

• ICF language: “Facilitating learning and results” (more outcome + action oriented)

So:

COMENSA is slightly more learning-process focused,
ICF is slightly more results-and-action integrated

Here are 20 points on Facilitating Client Growth (ICF + COMENSA-aligned coaching practice), framed at a professional/master coaching level:

1. Elicits awareness that leads to action – Helps the client connect insight to real-world behaviour change.

2. Supports client-defined goals – Keeps growth anchored in what the client truly wants, not what the coach assumes.

3. Encourages ownership of outcomes – Ensures the client takes full responsibility for decisions and progress.

4. Facilitates insight over advice-giving – Uses powerful questions instead of directing or instructing.

5. Identifies limiting beliefs – Gently surfaces assumptions that restrict growth and possibility.

6. Reframes perspectives – Helps the client see situations from expanded or alternative viewpoints.

7. Strengthens client resourcefulness – Draws attention to existing strengths, skills, and past successes.

8. Encourages experimentation and action learning – Promotes learning through doing rather than overthinking.

9. Holds space for discomfort in growth – Allows tension, uncertainty, and resistance without rushing to fix it.

10. Tracks progress without judgment – Reviews movement toward goals neutrally and constructively.

11. Aligns actions with values – Ensures behavioural change is consistent with client identity and values.

12. Builds accountability structures – Co-creates clear commitments and follow-through mechanisms.

13. Encourages reflection and integration – Helps clients make meaning from experiences and sessions.

14. Explores consequences of choices – Deepens awareness of impact before decisions are made.

15. Supports behavioural change planning – Turns insight into practical, step-by-step actions.

16. Reinforces client autonomy – Avoids dependency and strengthens independent decision-making.

17. Facilitates breakthrough thinking – Challenges habitual thinking patterns to unlock new possibilities.

18. Normalises setbacks as learning – Frames failure or resistance as data, not defeat.

19. Connects present actions to future identity – Helps clients act from who they are becoming, not just current habits.

20. Closes sessions with clarity and commitment – Ensures each session ends with defined next steps and intention.

Here are 20 points on ICF Core Competency 9: “Designing Actions, Planning and Goal Setting” aligned with COMENSA coaching standards:

1. Co-creates action steps with the client – Ensures actions are designed collaboratively, not prescribed by the coach.

2. Aligns actions with client goals – Keeps every step directly connected to the client’s stated outcomes.

3. Encourages realistic and achievable planning – Supports plans that fit the client’s current capacity and context.

4. Breaks goals into manageable steps – Translates big goals into clear, actionable milestones.

5. Explores multiple action options – Helps the client generate several possible pathways forward.

6. Supports prioritisation of actions – Assists the client in deciding what matters most right now.

7. Ensures actions are time-bound – Encourages clear timelines for accountability and momentum.

8. Checks alignment with values and identity – Ensures actions reflect who the client is and wants to become.

9. Identifies potential obstacles in advance – Helps the client anticipate challenges before they occur.

10. Develops contingency strategies – Plans alternative actions if obstacles arise.

11. Encourages client ownership of action plans – The client, not the coach, owns the plan and execution.

12. Strengthens commitment to action – Elicits clear verbal or written commitments from the client.

13. Supports experimentation and flexibility – Encourages trying, adjusting, and iterating rather than perfection.

14. Links insight to concrete behaviour change – Converts awareness gained in session into real-world actions.

15. Explores motivation behind actions – Deepens understanding of why the action matters to the client.

16. Uses scaling and progress measures – Helps clients assess readiness and track advancement.

17. Encourages accountability structures – Co-designs ways the client will stay on track between sessions.

18. Reinforces learning through action – Treats every action as an opportunity for feedback and growth.

19. Ensures clarity of next steps before session ends – Leaves no ambiguity about what happens after coaching.

20. Supports sustainable behaviour change – Focuses on actions that can be maintained over time, not just short-term wins.

Below is a COMENSA-aligned interpretation of ICF Core Competencies 10 and 11 (2019). These reflect professional/master coaching expectations around planning, goal setting, progress, and accountability.

10. Planning and Goal Setting (ICF + COMENSA aligned)

1. Co-creates clear, meaningful goals with the client

2. Ensures goals are client-defined, not coach-imposed

3. Aligns goals with the client’s values and identity

4. Translates broad aspirations into specific outcomes

5. Clarifies what success looks like for the client

6. Ensures goals are realistic within the client’s current context

7. Breaks long-term goals into short-term milestones

8. Identifies priority goals when multiple objectives exist

9. Explores motivation behind each goal

10. Strengthens emotional commitment to the goal

11. Encourages ownership of goal selection and design

12. Identifies required resources for goal achievement

13. Anticipates potential barriers to goal attainment

14. Builds flexibility into goal structures where needed

15. Encourages experimentation in how goals are approached

16. Connects goals to broader life purpose or direction

17. Ensures clarity on timelines and expected outcomes

18. Helps client distinguish between urgent vs important goals

19. Encourages review and refinement of goals over time

20. Supports goals that promote sustainable change, not quick fixes

11. Managing Progress and Accountability (ICF + COMENSA aligned)

1. Establishes clear measures of progress with the client

2. Co-creates accountability structures agreed by the client

3. Encourages consistent tracking of commitments

4. Reviews progress without judgment or criticism

5. Helps client reflect on successes and challenges objectively

6. Identifies patterns in follow-through or resistance

7. Supports client responsibility for their own actions

8. Encourages honesty in reporting progress

9. Holds space for setbacks as learning opportunities

10. Recommits client to goals after deviations or delays

11. Explores what supports or hinders accountability

12. Encourages client-driven solutions to maintain momentum

13. Reinforces learning from both success and failure

14. Adjusts plans when circumstances change

15. Strengthens intrinsic motivation for follow-through

16. Encourages regular reflection between sessions

17. Ensures accountability is empowering, not punitive

18. Uses progress to refine future actions and goals

19. Celebrates meaningful milestones and shifts

20. Ensures each session ends with clear next steps and commitments

COMENSA Integration (Applied Coaching Standard Lens)

Across both competencies, COMENSA-aligned coaching emphasises:

• Ethical partnership – client autonomy is never compromised

• Client-centred process – the client defines direction and meaning

• Non-directive facilitation – coach avoids prescribing solutions

• Cultural and contextual sensitivity – goals and accountability fit lived reality

• Respect for client dignity – progress is explored without judgment

• Transformation through awareness and action – insight must translate into behaviour

• Sustainable change focus – emphasis on long-term integration over short-term performance

• Reflective practice – learning is continuously integrated into action cycles

COMENSA 4 + ICF Equivalent: Creating Opportunities for Learning

1. Core Principle of Learning

What is the primary purpose of “creating opportunities for learning” in coaching?

A) To teach the client new skills
B) To help the client gain awareness through experience
C) To give expert advice
D) To correct client behaviour

Answer: B

Explanation: Learning in coaching is experiential and awareness-based, not instructional.

Master Coach would say:
“What are you noticing about yourself as this situation unfolds?”

2. Learning Through Awareness

What best supports learning in a coaching session?

A) Explaining concepts
B) Asking reflective questions
C) Providing solutions
D) Giving feedback only

Answer: B

Explanation: Reflection creates internal insight and learning.

Master Coach would say:
“What did you just become aware of in that moment?”

3. Experience-Based Learning

How does a coach best facilitate learning?

A) Theorising about behaviour
B) Encouraging experimentation
C) Teaching models
D) Analysing mistakes

Answer: B

Explanation: Learning is strengthened through action and experimentation.

Master Coach would say:
“What is one small experiment you could try this week?”

4. Client Insight

What indicates learning has occurred?

A) The client agrees with the coach
B) The client memorises advice
C) The client gains new awareness
D) The session ends quickly

Answer: C

Explanation: Learning is internal insight, not compliance.

Master Coach would say:
“What is the key insight you’re taking from this?”

5. Non-Directive Learning

What should a coach avoid when creating learning opportunities?

A) Asking questions
B) Allowing reflection
C) Teaching solutions
D) Exploring options

Answer: C

Explanation: Teaching limits client discovery.

Master Coach would say:
“What do you think is the right direction for you here?”

6. Encouraging Exploration

What best supports learning expansion?

A) Narrowing options quickly
B) Exploring multiple perspectives
C) Giving answers
D) Avoiding uncertainty

Answer: B

Explanation: Learning grows through expanded perspectives.

Master Coach would say:
“What else might be true here that you haven’t considered?”

7. Reflection in Learning

What is the role of reflection?

A) To summarise facts
B) To deepen meaning and awareness
C) To judge performance
D) To speed up decisions

Answer: B

Explanation: Reflection converts experience into insight.

Master Coach would say:
“What stands out most for you when you reflect on this?”

8. Emotional Learning

How should emotions be treated in learning?

A) Ignored
B) Used as data for insight
C) Controlled by coach
D) Reframed immediately

Answer: B

Explanation: Emotions carry important learning signals.

Master Coach would say:
“What is this emotion teaching you right now?”

9. Learning Through Challenge

What role does challenge play in learning?

A) It should be avoided
B) It creates discomfort but deepens awareness
C) It reduces trust
D) It speeds up coaching

Answer: B

Explanation: Growth happens through constructive discomfort.

Master Coach would say:
“What is uncomfortable here that might be important for your growth?”

10. Experimentation

Why is experimentation important?

A) It replaces reflection
B) It tests learning in real life
C) It reduces thinking
D) It avoids planning

Answer: B

Explanation: Learning is validated through real-world testing.

Master Coach would say:
“What would happen if you tried this in a small way this week?”

11. Pattern Recognition

What helps deepen learning?

A) Ignoring patterns
B) Identifying repeated behaviours
C) Changing topics
D) Giving advice

Answer: B

Explanation: Awareness of patterns leads to transformation.

Master Coach would say:
“What pattern are you starting to notice in your decisions?”

12. Client Ownership of Learning

Who owns the learning process?

A) Coach
B) Client
C) Organisation
D) Training model

Answer: B

Explanation: Learning must be self-generated to be sustainable.

Master Coach would say:
“What are you discovering for yourself here?”

13. Insight vs Advice

What distinguishes learning from advice?

A) Advice is faster
B) Insight is internally generated
C) Advice is more accurate
D) Insight comes from experience only

Answer: B

Explanation: Insight is self-generated, making it more powerful.

Master Coach would say:
“What conclusion are you drawing from your own experience?”

14. Awareness Expansion

What is a key coaching function?

A) Limiting options
B) Expanding awareness
C) Giving instructions
D) Evaluating performance

Answer: B

Explanation: Coaching expands perception and understanding.

Master Coach would say:
“What becomes possible when you look at this differently?”

15. Learning from Setbacks

How should setbacks be treated?

A) As failure
B) As data for learning
C) As mistakes to avoid
D) As coach responsibility

Answer: B

Explanation: Setbacks are feedback, not failure.

Master Coach would say:
“What is this situation teaching you about your approach?”

16. Integration of Learning

What ensures learning lasts?

A) Repetition of advice
B) Reflection and application
C) Coach reminders
D) Session summaries

Answer: B

Explanation: Integration requires reflection and action.

Master Coach would say:
“How will you apply this insight in your daily life?”

17. Curiosity in Learning

What is the role of curiosity?

A) To test the client
B) To deepen exploration
C) To challenge authority
D) To close sessions faster

Answer: B

Explanation: Curiosity opens new learning pathways.

Master Coach would say:
“I’m curious—what else might be underneath this for you?”

18. Learning Ownership

What supports stronger learning?

A) Coach interpretation
B) Client meaning-making
C) Structured teaching
D) External validation

Answer: B

Explanation: Meaning-making must come from the client.

Master Coach would say:
“What meaning are you making from this experience?”

19. Learning Momentum

What builds learning momentum?

A) Over-analysis
B) Small consistent actions
C) Long discussions
D) Avoiding change

Answer: B

Explanation: Action reinforces learning.

Master Coach would say:
“What small step will help you build on this insight?”

20. Transformational Learning

What defines transformational learning?

A) Behaviour change only
B) Deep shift in awareness and identity
C) Advice implementation
D) Performance improvement only

Answer: B

Explanation: Transformation changes perception, identity, and behaviour.

Master Coach would say:
“How is this changing the way you see yourself?”

Here are 20 multiple-choice questions for Behavioural Standard 4 – Creating Awareness and Opportunities for Learning, based on the COMENSA Coaching Behavioural Standards Framework. Each question has 1 correct answer and 4 wrong answers.

Following the questions, you will find the answer key and, for each question, what a Level 3 CMC (COMENSA Master Coach) would say in the scenario.

Questions 1–20

Question 1

A client says, "I know I should delegate more, but every time I try, I feel like I'm losing control." As a coach, what is the most aligned response with Level 3 mastery?

A) "You really need to trust your team more – that's the only way to grow."
B) "Let me share a delegation framework that worked for my clients."
C) "What do you notice about that feeling of losing control?"
D) "Most successful leaders delegate. Have you read any books on it?"
E) "I think you're overcomplicating this – just start with small tasks."

Question 2

Your client has just shared a breakthrough realisation. Which response demonstrates no attachment to being right?

A) "Exactly what I was guiding you toward. Well done."
B) "That's a good insight. Now let me add what I think is missing."
C) "I'm glad you finally see it the way I've been suggesting."
D) "Stay with that. What else is coming up for you now?"
E) "That's correct. My framework predicts that outcome."

Question 3

A client is stuck and silent for 45 seconds. A Level 3 CMC would most likely:

A) Interrupt with a probing question to keep momentum.
B) Offer a possible answer to help them move forward.
C) Fill the silence with a relevant personal story.
D) Remain present and comfortable, allowing space for insight.
E) Ask "What are you thinking?" immediately to break the tension.

Question 4

You have relevant experience that perfectly matches your client's situation. How would a Level 3 coach use this?

A) "Here's exactly what I did – you should do the same."
B) "Would you like to hear what I've seen in similar situations?"
C) "My experience tells me you're on the wrong track."
D) "Let me save you time and tell you the answer."
E) "I've been through this – let me guide you step by step."

Question 5

A client says, "I don't know why I keep making the same mistake." Which response best expresses insight without imposing?

A) "It sounds like there's a pattern here. What's your sense of it?"
B) "You're probably not paying enough attention to detail."
C) "I think it's because you're afraid of success."
D) "Let me tell you what I think the root cause is."
E) "Most people make that mistake. Don't worry about it."

Question 6

What distinguishes a Level 3 CMC from a Level 1 CCC in this competency?

A) The CMC gives more advice and direction.
B) The CMC uses more coaching tools and frameworks.
C) The CMC has no attachment to being right and trusts the client fully.
D) The CMC talks more during the session.
E) The CMC interrupts more frequently to correct the client.

Question 7

A client has just shared a deeply emotional realisation. A Level 3 coach would:

A) Quickly move to solutions to avoid discomfort.
B) Say "I understand completely – the same thing happened to me."
C) Allow space for the emotion without rushing to fix it.
D) Tell the client to compartmentalise and focus on action.
E) Offer three strategies to solve the underlying issue.

Question 8

You believe your client's plan will fail. What does a Level 3 coach do?

A) Tell the client directly that the plan will fail.
B) Withhold the concern and let the client learn the hard way.
C) Share the concern as a question: "What might get in the way of this plan?"
D) Insist the client redo the plan according to your framework.
E) Go along with it silently but disengage from the session.

Question 9

Which statement reflects using own knowledge as a resource without imposing?

A) "You need to follow my proven five-step method."
B) "I've seen this before – here's what you must do."
C) "Based on my expertise, your thinking is flawed."
D) "Would it be useful to hear how others have navigated this?"
E) "Trust me, I know what works."

Question 10

A client says, "I feel so angry at my team for not supporting me." A Level 3 coach helps the client recognise the impact of their feelings by asking:

A) "You shouldn't feel angry – it's not productive."
B) "How is that anger affecting your decisions right now?"
C) "Let's focus on what you can do differently instead."
D) "Your team probably doesn't mean to upset you."
E) "Anger is usually a secondary emotion. What's underneath it?"

Question 11

What does "comfortable with not knowing where exploration might lead" look like in practice?

A) The coach sets a strict agenda and sticks to it.
B) The coach follows the client's natural exploration without forcing a destination.
C) The coach admits defeat and ends the session early.
D) The coach asks the client to come back with a clearer goal.
E) The coach takes over and directs the conversation to a safe topic.

Question 12

A client has just rejected your gentle suggestion. A Level 3 coach would:

A) Become defensive and explain why the suggestion was good.
B) Drop the suggestion completely and silently resent the client.
C) Say "You're wrong to reject that – think again."
D) Trust that the client knows what's right for them and move on.
E) Repeat the suggestion louder and slower.

Question 13

Which response best allows enough space for the client to experience their own insights?

A) "Let me summarise what you just said so you can hear it back."
B) "What's the one key learning from this conversation?"
C) [Silence for 30 seconds while the client processes]
D) "I have a powerful question for you based on what you just said."
E) "Before you forget, let me give you an action step."

Question 14

A Level 1 CCC is most likely to:

A) Be comfortable with complete uncertainty.
B) Trust the client fully without imposing.
C) Be invested in their own insight being correct.
D) Share easily and directly without attachment.
E) Allow unlimited space for client exploration.

Question 15

A client asks, "What do you think I should do?" A Level 3 CMC responds:

A) "I think you should take Option A. It's clearly better."
B) "Let me tell you what worked for me."
C) "You're asking me to decide for you. What does your instinct say?"
D) "Here are three options – Option B is my recommendation."
E) "I can't tell you what to do. That's not my role."

Question 16

Which behaviour indicates a coach is imposing rather than supporting?

A) "What possibilities exist that you haven't considered?"
B) "Tell me more about what's driving that concern."
C) "You really need to let go of that fear – it's holding you back."
D) "How does that land for you?"
E) "What would success look like from your perspective?"

Question 17

A client says, "I've tried everything and nothing works." A Level 3 coach would:

A) Agree and say "Maybe you need to accept that."
B) Offer three new strategies immediately.
C) Ask "What does 'everything' include – and what haven't you tried yet?"
D) Say "You're catastrophising. Let's reframe that."
E) Share a story of someone who overcame the same problem.

Question 18

The difference between a Level 2 CSC and Level 3 CMC in this competency is that the CMC:

A) Shares more personal experience.
B) Uses more advanced questioning techniques.
C) Has no attachment to being right and trusts the client completely.
D) Provides more direct feedback.
E) Structures the session more tightly.

Question 19

A coach says, "I know exactly what's happening here. You're afraid of failure." This is an example of:

A) Creating space for insight.
B) Using knowledge as a resource without imposing.
C) Imposing the coach's interpretation onto the client.
D) Allowing the client to experience their own realisation.
E) Comfort with not knowing.

Question 20

Which statement best summarises the Level 3 CMC mindset for this competency?

A) "I must guide the client to the right answer."
B) "My role is to trust the client's wisdom and create space for their insights."
C) "I should share my expertise freely to save the client time."
D) "The client needs my framework to succeed."
E) "I am the expert – the client follows my lead."

Answer Key

Q

Correct Answer

1

C

2

D

3

D

4

B

5

A

6

C

7

C

8

C

9

D

10

B

11

B

12

D

13

C

14

C

15

C

16

C

17

C

18

C

19

C

20

B

What a Level 3 Master Coach (CMC) Would Say – Per Question

Q1

Scenario: Client says they "should delegate more but feel like losing control."

CMC response:
"What do you notice about that feeling of losing control?"
Why: The CMC does not impose advice or frameworks. They help the client explore their own experience and discover their own insight.

Q2

Scenario: Client has just shared a breakthrough realisation.

CMC response:
"Stay with that. What else is coming up for you now?"
Why: The CMC has no need to claim credit or correct. They deepen the client's exploration without attachment to being right.

Q3

Scenario: Client is stuck and silent for 45 seconds.

CMC response:
Remain present and comfortable, allowing space for insight.
Why: The CMC is comfortable with silence and uncertainty, trusting that the client needs space to process.

Q4

Scenario: You have relevant experience matching the client's situation.

CMC response:
"Would you like to hear what I've seen in similar situations?"
Why: The CMC offers experience as a resource only if invited, never imposing or assuming it is needed.

Q5

Scenario: Client says, "I don't know why I keep making the same mistake."

CMC response:
"It sounds like there's a pattern here. What's your sense of it?"
Why: The CMC reflects without diagnosing, then hands exploration back to the client.

Q6

Scenario: Question about difference between CMC and CCC.

CMC response:
"The CMC has no attachment to being right and trusts the client fully."
Why: This is the defining shift – from needing to be correct (CCC) to complete trust and detachment (CMC).

Q7

Scenario: Client shares a deeply emotional realisation.

CMC response:
Allow space for the emotion without rushing to fix it.
Why: The CMC does not avoid discomfort or jump to solutions. Emotion is data to be held, not fixed.

Q8

Scenario: You believe your client's plan will fail.

CMC response:
"What might get in the way of this plan?"
Why: The CMC does not impose their judgment. Instead, they ask the client to explore risks, keeping ownership with the client.

Q9

Scenario: Using own knowledge without imposing.

CMC response:
"Would it be useful to hear how others have navigated this?"
Why: The CMC asks permission and makes the offer optional – the client remains in control.

Q10

Scenario: Client says, "I feel so angry at my team for not supporting me."

CMC response:
"How is that anger affecting your decisions right now?"
Why: The CMC helps the client recognise the impact of their feelings without judging the feeling itself.

Q11

Scenario: What does "comfortable with not knowing" look like?

CMC response:
The coach follows the client's natural exploration without forcing a destination.
Why: The CMC surrenders the need for a predetermined outcome and trusts the process.

Q12

Scenario: Client rejects your gentle suggestion.

CMC response:
Trust that the client knows what's right for them and move on.
Why: The CMC has no ego attachment to their suggestion. The client's autonomy is paramount.

Q13

Scenario: Allowing space for client to experience their own insights.

CMC response:
[Silence for 30 seconds while the client processes]
Why: The CMC intentionally creates spaciousness – silence is a tool for insight, not something to fear.

Q14

Scenario: What a Level 1 CCC is most likely to do.

CMC response:
"Be invested in their own insight being correct."
Why: The CCC is still developing detachment from being right – this is normal and expected at Level 1.

Q15

Scenario: Client asks, "What do you think I should do?"

CMC response:
"You're asking me to decide for you. What does your instinct say?"
Why: The CMC refuses to take ownership of the client's decision. They return authority to the client.

Q16

Scenario: Which behaviour indicates imposing rather than supporting?

CMC response:
"You really need to let go of that fear – it's holding you back."
Why: This is direct imposition – telling the client what to feel and do, rather than exploring.

Q17

Scenario: Client says, "I've tried everything and nothing works."

CMC response:
"What does 'everything' include – and what haven't you tried yet?"
Why: The CMC gently challenges the absolute statement while inviting exploration, not confrontation.

Q18

Scenario: Difference between Level 2 CSC and Level 3 CMC.

CMC response:
"The CMC has no attachment to being right and trusts the client completely."
Why: The CSC is more direct and may hold back insights; the CMC has fully surrendered the need to be correct.

Q19

Scenario: Coach says, "I know exactly what's happening. You're afraid of failure."

CMC response:
"This is imposing the coach's interpretation onto the client."
Why: The coach is diagnosing and claiming certainty – the opposite of creating space for client insight.

Q20

Scenario: Best summary of Level 3 CMC mindset.

CMC response:
"My role is to trust the client's wisdom and create space for their insights."
Why: This captures the essence of Level 3 – trust, spaciousness, detachment from being right, and faith in the client's own capacity.

Here are 2 MCC-aligned coaching quotes aligned to COMENSA Behavioural Standard 4: Creating Awareness and Opportunities for Learning, specifically focused on using questions that deepen learning.

1. Deep learning through powerful questions

John Whitmore

“The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your questions.”
— widely attributed to John Whitmore

MCC relevance:
This reflects the core coaching principle that better questions don’t give answers—they expand awareness, surface assumptions, and unlock new thinking patterns in the coachee.

2. Questions activate awareness and insight

Timothy Gallwey

“As soon as you ask a question, the mind starts searching for an answer.”

MCC relevance:
This highlights how questions are not neutral—they activate cognition. In MCC-level coaching, this is used intentionally to shift attention, slow reactive thinking, and deepen reflective insight.

Here are 2 MCC-level coaching questions aligned to COMENSA Behavioural Standard 4: Creating Awareness and Opportunities for Learning:

1. “What are you making this situation mean about you, and how might that meaning be shaping the choices you’re seeing right now?”

2. “If you were to step outside your current perspective completely, what new interpretation of this situation becomes available to you?”

Both questions are designed to:

• surface underlying assumptions

• expand perspective beyond the immediate frame

• deepen reflective awareness rather than move straight to action

Questions that reinforce awareness through reflection

Here are 2 MCC-level coaching questions focused specifically on reinforcing awareness through reflection (rather than analysis or problem-solving):

1. “As you reflect on what you’ve just said, what stands out to you most about your own thinking or assumptions in this situation?”

2. “What do you notice now about how you’ve been relating to this challenge as you sit with it a little longer?”

These are designed to:

• slow cognition so insight can surface naturally

• shift the coachee into observer mode of their own thinking

• deepen awareness without steering toward solutions or advice

Questions on supporting emotional learning

Here are 2 MCC-level coaching questions focused on supporting emotional learning (awareness of felt experience, meaning-making, and integration rather than problem-solving):

1. “As you sit with what you’re feeling right now, what do you notice this emotion is telling you about what really matters in this situation?”

2. “What shifts when you stay with this feeling for a moment longer, instead of moving away from it or trying to change it?”

These questions support emotional learning by:

• bringing attention to felt experience rather than cognition alone

• helping the coachee explore the meaning within emotion

• encouraging presence with emotion as data, not a problem to fix

If you want, I can also give you MCC-level follow-up prompts that help deepen emotional awareness without leading or interpreting.

questions about embodying continuous learning mindset

Here are 2 MCC-level coaching questions focused on embodying a continuous learning mindset:

1. “In what ways is this experience currently shaping how you learn about yourself, and how might you stay open to what it continues to teach you?”

2. “Where in this situation are you noticing the opportunity to learn something you didn’t know you needed to learn yet?”

These questions support:

• ongoing reflection rather than fixed conclusions

• curiosity as a stance rather than a one-off insight

• integration of learning into identity and way of being

10 Questions That Elicit Self-Awareness

(thoughts, emotions, assumptions, identity, patterns)

1. What are you noticing in yourself as you talk about this?

2. What feeling is most present for you right now?

3. What story are you currently telling yourself about this situation?

4. What assumption are you holding that you haven’t questioned yet?

5. What part of this feels most personally significant to you?

6. What pattern do you recognise in how you respond in situations like this?

7. What do you notice about your internal reaction as this unfolds?

8. What does this situation seem to bring out in you?

9. What are you avoiding feeling or acknowledging here?

10. What feels most true for you right now, beneath the thinking?

10 Questions That Elicit Awareness (Broader / Expanded Perspective)

(context, patterns, relationships, meaning, systems, learning)

1. What else might be going on here that you haven’t considered yet?

2. How might someone else involved in this experience it differently?

3. What patterns are you noticing across similar situations in your life or work?

4. What is this situation asking you to pay attention to?

5. What becomes possible if you look at this from a completely different angle?

6. What is this situation revealing about how things work around you?

7. Where do you see this showing up in other areas of your life?

8. What impact is this having beyond just the immediate situation?

9. What seems to be repeating itself in this experience?

10. What would you notice if you stepped back and observed this as an outside observer?

In coaching frameworks like COMENSA behavioural standards and MCC-level practice, “tools” don’t refer only to worksheets or models—they include any structured intervention, method, or technique that intentionally shifts the coaching process.

What matters at MCC level is not just using tools, but knowing when they help awareness and when they interrupt it.

Here are the main categories of coaching tools that must be used appropriately:

1. Questioning frameworks (e.g., powerful questioning, scaling, reflective loops)

These include structured ways of asking questions (not just spontaneous inquiry).

Examples of misuse:

• Over-questioning without space for reflection

• Using questions to lead the client toward your interpretation

• Rapid-fire questioning that becomes interrogation

Appropriate use:

• When it deepens awareness rather than drives direction

• When silence and reflection are allowed after the question

2. Goal-setting & contracting tools

These include session agreements, outcome definition, and re-contracting.

Risk at poor use:

• Forcing clarity too early

• Locking into goals before awareness emerges

Appropriate use:

• When clarity naturally emerges from exploration

• When revisited dynamically as insight shifts

3. Reflection and awareness tools (mirroring, summarising, reframing)

These help the client hear themselves differently.

Misuse:

• Reframing too quickly (taking ownership of meaning-making)

• Over-summarising, reducing client depth

Appropriate use:

• To deepen what the client has already expressed

• To slow thinking and surface implicit meaning

4. Experiential / visualisation tools (future pacing, perspective shifting, role reversal)

These shift perception beyond current thinking patterns.

Misuse:

• Imposing imagination exercises too early

• Escaping emotion rather than staying with it

Appropriate use:

• When the client is ready to expand perspective

• After sufficient grounding in present awareness

5. Structured models (GROW, SWOT, values elicitation, timelines)

These provide cognitive structure to thinking.

Misuse:

• Forcing clients into a model when conversation is emerging organically

• Using models rigidly instead of responsively

Appropriate use:

• When the client benefits from structure for clarity

• When it enhances—not replaces—awareness

6. Emotional awareness tools (focusing, body awareness, naming emotion)

These support deeper emotional intelligence.

Misuse:

• Pushing emotional exploration too quickly

• Interpreting emotions for the client

Appropriate use:

• When emotion is present and client is resourced enough to explore it

• When it supports insight, not catharsis alone

Core MCC principle across all tools:

A tool is only appropriate when it serves awareness, not the coach’s need for structure, direction, or certainty.

Two questions that encourage self discovery

1. “What are you discovering about yourself as you sit with this experience right now?”

2. “What becomes clearer for you when you stay with your own thoughts and feelings about this, without trying to change them?”

Two questions that facilitate perspective shifts

1. “How might this situation look different if you were observing it as an impartial outsider with no stake in the outcome?”

2. “What new understanding becomes available if you consider that your current interpretation is only one of several possible ways to see this?”

Two questions that create learning from the experience

1. “Looking back on this experience, what is it teaching you about how you tend to respond in situations like this?”

2. “What do you want to take forward from this experience so that it informs how you approach similar situations in the future?”

Two questions that invite learning review

1. “What stands out for you when you review what you’ve learned through this experience?”

2. “As you look back, what would you say has shifted in your understanding as a result of this process?”

Two questions that create transformational awareness

1. “What are you becoming aware of about yourself that you haven’t fully acknowledged before, and what changes when you truly let that land?”

2. “If this insight were fully integrated into how you see yourself, what would no longer be possible for you to ignore or do in the same way?”

Below are practical coaching guidelines aligned with COMENSA Behavioural Standard 4: Creating Learning Opportunities, specifically focused on helping clients see new perspectives, increase self-awareness, and generate their own insights.

1. The coach helps clients see situations from new perspectives.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Ask “What else could be true here?”

1. Do not tell the client what they “should” see.

2. Use metaphors or analogies relevant to the client’s world.

2. Do not dismiss the client’s current viewpoint as wrong.

3. Invite the client to take another person’s perspective (e.g., “How would your mentor see this?”).

3. Do not impose your own worldview.

4. Ask “What would you see if you looked from 10,000 feet up?”

4. Do not rush to problem-solve before exploring perspective.

5. Use “as if” questions (“If you were already confident, how would you see this challenge?”).

5. Do not assume one “right” perspective exists.

6. Encourage the client to reframe a problem as a learning opportunity.

6. Do not use jargon or complex models without the client’s buy-in.

7. Ask “What might you be missing?”

7. Do not interrupt when the client is considering a new angle.

8. Use visualisation or future-pacing.

8. Do not force a perspective shift before the client is ready.

9. Invite the client to list three alternative explanations for an event.

9. Do not label the client’s original perspective as “limited”.

10. Ask “How would someone who admires you see this situation?”

10. Do not argue with the client to prove your point.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: Client says “My team doesn’t respect me.” Coach asks, “What might a neutral observer see happening that you don’t?”

• Example 2: Client feels stuck in a conflict. Coach says, “If you were the other person, what would you be feeling right now?”

• Example 3: Client sees only risks. Coach asks, “If this challenge were actually an opportunity in disguise, what would it be?”

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What would you notice if you stepped out of your own shoes and into someone else’s for a moment?”

2. The focus is on increasing self-awareness rather than giving advice.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Ask reflective questions (“What did you notice about yourself just now?”).

1. Do not say “Here’s what I would do.”

2. Mirror the client’s words or emotions back to them.

2. Do not offer unsolicited solutions.

3. Use silence to let the client sit with their own thoughts.

3. Do not fill every pause with your voice.

4. Celebrate the client’s self-discoveries.

4. Do not take credit for the client’s insights.

5. Ask “What does this bring up for you?”

5. Do not steer the conversation toward your expertise.

6. Use journaling prompts between sessions.

6. Do not diagnose or label the client.

7. Invite the client to notice patterns in their emotional reactions.

7. Do not say “You should feel/think X.”

8. Ask “What surprised you about your own reaction?”

8. Do not interrupt the client’s self-observation.

9. Summarise the client’s own words back as a question (“So you’re saying you felt angry – what was that anger telling you?”).

9. Do not give a “quick fix” tip instead of deeper reflection.

10. Ask “What are you learning about yourself right now?”

10. Do not rush to action before awareness lands.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: Client asks “What should I do?” Coach says, “Before we get to action, what do you notice you’re feeling as you describe this?”

• Example 2: Coach says, “I hear you saying you always take on too much – what’s underneath that pattern for you?”

• Example 3: After client shares a success, coach asks, “What did you learn about your own strengths in that moment?”

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What is this situation revealing about you that you hadn’t seen before?”

3. Coaches provide feedback that is useful, respectful, and constructive.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Ask permission before giving feedback.

1. Do not give feedback without consent.

2. Use “I notice…” or “I’m curious…” statements.

2. Do not use “You always…” or “You never…”

3. Focus on observable behaviour, not personality.

3. Do not criticise the client’s character.

4. Offer feedback as a hypothesis (“Could it be that…?”).

4. Do not disguise judgment as “honest feedback”.

5. Keep feedback brief and specific.

5. Do not give feedback when you are frustrated.

6. Check the impact (“How was that for you to hear?”).

6. Do not compare the client to others.

7. Frame feedback as a gift, not a correction.

7. Do not use feedback to showcase your own insight.

8. Follow up with an open question (“What do you make of that?”).

8. Do not give feedback in front of others (1:1 setting).

9. Balance constructive feedback with genuine appreciation.

9. Do not give feedback that is vague (e.g., “Be more aware”).

10. Ask “What would be most useful for me to notice and share with you?”

10. Do not push feedback if the client is not receptive.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: “May I share an observation? I notice that every time we discuss deadlines, your voice gets quieter – what’s happening there?”

• Example 2: “I’m curious – I noticed you smiled when you said ‘I failed’. Is that a pattern for you?”

• Example 3: “Would you like some feedback on how you presented that idea? I noticed you used ‘I think’ many times – was that intentional?”

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What would be most helpful for you to hear from me right now?”

4. Clients are encouraged to explore their own thoughts, emotions, and assumptions.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Ask “What assumption are you making here?”

1. Do not tell the client what they are assuming.

2. Invite the client to name the emotion in the room.

2. Do not dismiss emotions as “irrelevant”.

3. Ask “What thought came just before that feeling?”

3. Do not jump to logic without acknowledging emotion.

4. Use a feelings chart or emotion wheel.

4. Do not say “Don’t feel that way.”

5. Ask “Where does that belief come from?”

5. Do not argue with the client’s belief.

6. Explore alternative assumptions (“What if the opposite were true?”).

6. Do not force emotional expression.

7. Ask “What evidence supports that thought? What contradicts it?”

7. Do not assume you know the root cause.

8. Gently challenge a limiting assumption (“Is that always true?”).

8. Do not make the client wrong for having assumptions.

9. Ask “What would change if you let go of that assumption?”

9. Do not rush past emotion to action.

10. Thank the client for their honesty when they share vulnerable thoughts or feelings.

10. Do not interrupt an emotional exploration with your own story.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: Client says “I can’t trust anyone.” Coach asks, “What’s the assumption underneath that statement?”

• Example 2: Client looks frustrated but says “I’m fine.” Coach gently asks, “If you named what’s really there, what would it be?”

• Example 3: “You said ‘I should be further ahead by now’ – where does that ‘should’ come from?”

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What belief is driving how you’re reacting right now – and is it serving you?”

Let me know if you would like the remaining headings (Powerful questions, Awareness as first step, Patterns in behaviour, Learning from client’s discoveries, “Aha” moments, Coaching tools, Broadening perspective without imposing, Impact of choices and beliefs, Trusting client’s answers, Linking learning to real challenges, Silence and reflection, Higher levels of mastery – not knowing, Master coaches create space, Partnering in meaning, Greater understanding leaving sessions, Success as empowered choice) developed in the same format.

yes

Here is the complete set for all remaining headings under COMENSA Behavioural Standard 4: Creating Learning Opportunities, following the same structure.

5. Powerful questions stimulate deeper reflection and insight.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Ask open-ended questions (what, how, where, when, who – rarely why).

1. Do not ask leading questions that contain your answer.

2. Use “What else?” to go deeper.

2. Do not ask closed yes/no questions repeatedly.

3. Pause after each question to allow thinking.

3. Do not answer your own question.

4. Ask “What is the real challenge here for you?”

4. Do not ask multiple questions at once.

5. Use scaling questions (“On a scale of 1–10…”).

5. Do not ask “Why did you do that?” (triggers defensiveness).

6. Ask “What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?”

6. Do not interrogate or rapid-fire questions.

7. Use hypotheticals (“If you woke up tomorrow and this was solved, what would be different?”).

7. Do not ask questions that serve your curiosity more than the client’s learning.

8. Ask “What is the question you are not asking yourself?”

8. Do not rephrase the same question repeatedly.

9. Use clean language (“What would you like to have happen?”).

9. Do not use jargon the client doesn’t understand.

10. Ask “And what else?” at least twice.

10. Do not interrupt the client’s reflection to ask another question.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: Client says “I’m stuck.” Coach asks, “What does ‘stuck’ mean to you, and what would ‘unstuck’ look like?”

• Example 2: “If your younger self watched you now, what would they be proud of – and what would they ask you?”

• Example 3: “What is the most useful question I could ask you at this moment?”

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What question, if you answered it honestly, would change everything?”

6. Awareness is often the first step before meaningful change can occur.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Name when you see awareness emerging (“Something just shifted – what did you notice?”).

1. Do not skip straight to action planning.

2. Ask “What are you noticing about yourself right now?”

2. Do not treat awareness as “too slow”.

3. Celebrate awareness as a win.

3. Do not say “Now that you know, just fix it.”

4. Give space for the client to absorb a new insight.

4. Do not push for change before the insight lands.

5. Ask “How does this new awareness change how you see the situation?”

5. Do not assume awareness alone equals change.

6. Revisit awareness from previous sessions.

6. Do not rush to solutions disguised as “next steps”.

7. Ask “What became possible the moment you realised that?”

7. Do not discount small awarenesses as unimportant.

8. Use the phrase “Stay with that for a moment.”

8. Do not fill the silence after an “aha”.

9. Ask “What does this new awareness ask of you?”

9. Do not judge the client for not acting immediately.

10. Link awareness to choice (“Now that you see this, what options appear?”).

10. Do not assume awareness is the finish line.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: Client says “Oh – I never realised I do that.” Coach says, “Stay there for a moment. What else comes up with that realisation?”

• Example 2: After client identifies a pattern, coach asks, “Before we move to action, what is this new understanding giving you?”

• Example 3: “You’ve just named something important. How does that shift the problem for you?”

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What is the most important thing you are now aware of that you weren’t aware of 20 minutes ago?”

7. Coaches help clients identify patterns in behaviour and thinking.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Ask “Have you noticed this showing up before?”

1. Do not label the client (“You’re a people-pleaser”).

2. Invite the client to connect past and present situations.

2. Do not assume you see the pattern before the client does.

3. Ask “What is the theme here?”

3. Do not force a pattern that isn’t there.

4. Use a timeline or behavioural mapping.

4. Do not make the client wrong for having a pattern.

5. Ask “What happens just before you react that way?”

5. Do not overgeneralise from one example.

6. Mirror a repeated phrase back to the client (“I notice you’ve said ‘I should’ three times”).

6. Do not interrupt pattern-spotting with advice.

7. Ask “When did you first learn that this worked?”

7. Do not use clinical terms (e.g., “cognitive distortion”).

8. Invite the client to name the pattern themselves.

8. Do not dismiss a pattern as “just habit”.

9. Ask “What does this pattern protect you from?”

9. Do not push if the client denies the pattern.

10. Ask “What would be possible if you changed this pattern?”

10. Do not rush to “breaking” the pattern before understanding it.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: Client describes three work conflicts. Coach asks, “I’m hearing a similar shape to these stories – what do you notice repeating?”

• Example 2: “Every time you mention your boss, you say ‘I have to prove myself’. Where does that come from?”

• Example 3: “What happens to your energy when that pattern kicks in – and what happens right before it starts?”

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What script is running in your head that you’ve read from many times before?”

8. Learning comes from the client’s discoveries, not the coach’s solutions.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Ask “What do you make of that?” after any observation.

1. Do not say “Here’s what I think you should learn.”

2. Bite your tongue before offering an answer.

2. Do not finish the client’s sentence.

3. Say “What is your learning from this?”

3. Do not tell a story about yourself to “teach” them.

4. Wait through silence – let them find it.

4. Do not provide a framework before they explore.

5. Ask “What is your own theory about why that happened?”

5. Do not say “The lesson here is…”

6. Celebrate when they discover something you already saw.

6. Do not take credit (“I was just about to say that”).

7. Ask “How did you come to that insight?”

7. Do not cut off discovery to stay on schedule.

8. Use “What else might this mean?”

8. Do not give the “right answer” disguised as a question.

9. Ask “If you were your own coach, what would you tell yourself?”

9. Do not impose your learning agenda.

10. Trust that their answer is better for them than yours.

10. Do not rescue them from struggle – struggle precedes discovery.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: Client asks “What should I learn from this failure?” Coach says, “I could guess, but your answer will matter more. What’s your early thought?”

• Example 2: After a long pause, client says “I think…” Coach stays silent. Client then says “…actually, I think it’s something else.” Coach says “Go on.”

• Example 3: “If you never spoke to me again after this session, what would you want to have figured out for yourself?”

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What is the most important discovery you’ve made today – and how did you arrive at it?”

9. The coach creates opportunities for “aha” moments.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Use paradox (“What if doing less is actually the answer?”).

1. Do not script or force an “aha”.

2. Ask “What if the opposite of what you believe is also true?”

2. Do not say “Aha!” for the client.

3. Change the sensory channel (draw it, walk while talking).

3. Do not over-celebrate small recognitions.

4. Use provocative statements (“What if you are the problem?” – carefully).

4. Do not create anxiety to force insight.

5. Ask “What would be a surprising truth here?”

5. Do not dismiss small “oh” moments.

6. Introduce a fresh metaphor (“Your career is like what kind of garden?”).

6. Do not rush past an emerging “aha”.

7. Ask “What have you been avoiding seeing?”

7. Do not compare one client’s “aha” to another’s.

8. Use role reversal (“Be your boss for a minute – what do you want from you?”).

8. Do not interrupt with your own excitement.

9. Ask “If this situation were a dream, what might it be saying?”

9. Do not tell the client what the “aha” should be.

10. Create a moment of humour or surprise.

10. Do not force a perspective shift for your own satisfaction.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: Coach says “Stop trying to solve this for a moment. What if the problem isn’t the problem?” Client pauses, then laughs – “Oh! I’ve been solving the wrong thing.”

• Example 2: “What would your 80-year-old self tell you to stop worrying about?”

• Example 3: “Say that last sentence again – slower.” Client repeats, then says “Oh my god – I heard it that time.”

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What just landed for you that you didn’t see five minutes ago?”

10. Different coaching tools and techniques may be used to deepen awareness.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Ask permission before introducing a tool.

1. Do not use tools mechanically or rigidly.

2. Use visualisation, timelines, or chairs (empty chair work).

2. Do not use a tool you haven’t practised.

3. Apply a relevant model only if the client agrees.

3. Do not force a model that doesn’t fit.

4. Use journaling or drawing.

4. Do not use tools to show off your expertise.

5. Try a breathing or grounding exercise.

5. Do not switch tools too frequently in one session.

6. Use cards (values, emotions, strengths).

6. Do not use clinical or therapeutic tools outside competence.

7. Invite a reflective letter from future self.

7. Do not use tools as a substitute for deep listening.

8. Use a wheel of life or similar diagnostic.

8. Do not force a “fun” tool if the client is serious.

9. Ask “What tool or way of exploring would work for you?”

9. Do not abandon a tool halfway without closure.

10. Explain the purpose of the tool simply.

10. Do not make the client feel tested.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: “Would you be open to trying something different? I’d like you to stand over there and speak as your future self.”

• Example 2: “Here are some values cards. Without overthinking, pick the three that are most alive for you right now – and the one that’s missing.”

• Example 3: “Draw your challenge as a shape or symbol – don’t analyse, just draw. Then tell me about it.”

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What kind of exploration would be most useful for you right now – talking, writing, moving, or something else?”

11. The coach broadens the client’s perspective without imposing opinions.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Ask “What might you be over-looking?”

1. Do not say “You’re wrong about that.”

2. Offer a wider frame (“Zoom out – what’s happening in the bigger picture?”).

2. Do not state your opinion as fact.

3. Ask “Who sees this differently to you – and what would they say?”

3. Do not argue to change their mind.

4. Use “Some people might see this as… what do you think of that view?”

4. Do not imply your perspective is more enlightened.

5. Ask “What would expand your view here?”

5. Do not dismiss their perspective as “small”.

6. Invite the client to explore opposites (“What is the upside of the downside?”).

6. Do not hijack the conversation to share your own views.

7. Ask “What is one thing you are certain of – and what is one thing you might be uncertain about?”

7. Do not say “Let me give you some perspective” without permission.

8. Use “What would you see if you looked from their eyes, not your own?”

8. Do not use sarcasm or rhetorical questions.

9. Ask “How might this look in 5 years?”

9. Do not push a perspective that serves you.

10. Say “I’m curious about… but only if that’s useful to you.”

10. Do not pretend to be neutral while subtly pushing an agenda.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: “Your view is clear. For a moment, what would someone who completely disagrees with you say – and what might be true in that?”

• Example 2: “If this situation were a movie, what genre would it be – and what genre might it actually be?”

• Example 3: “What would you see if you lifted your eyes from the problem to the system around it?”

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What is one way of seeing this that you have not yet considered?”

12. Clients are encouraged to recognise the impact of their choices and beliefs.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Ask “What has this belief cost you?”

1. Do not shame the client for past choices.

2. Ask “What has this choice made possible – and what has it made impossible?”

2. Do not say “That was a bad choice.”

3. Use a consequences map (short vs long term).

3. Do not focus only on negative impact.

4. Ask “Who else is affected by your belief here?”

4. Do not assume you know the real impact.

5. Invite the client to contrast intended vs actual impact.

5. Do not push for regret where there isn’t any.

6. Ask “What would be different in your life if you changed this belief?”

6. Do not minimise their choices as “not a big deal”.

7. Ask “What does staying the same cost you?”

7. Do not lecture about responsibility.

8. Use a balance sheet of benefits vs costs of a belief.

8. Do not force a “should” about changing it.

9. Ask “What choice are you making right now without realising it?”

9. Do not ignore positive impacts of a “negative” belief.

10. Ask “If you keep choosing this, where does it lead?”

10. Do not skip over the client’s emotional response to impact.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: “You said you believe ‘I must be perfect’. What has that belief given you – and what has it taken from you?”

• Example 2: “That choice worked for you then. What is its impact on you now?”

• Example 3: “If you continue with this pattern for another year, what will be the state of your energy, your relationships, your work?”

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What is the gap between the impact you intend and the impact you actually create?”

13. The coach trusts the client’s ability to find their own answers.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Stay silent longer than comfortable.

1. Do not jump in to rescue them from struggle.

2. Say “I trust you to figure this out.”

2. Do not give the answer when they are stuck.

3. Ask “What do you think you should do?”

3. Do not act anxious about their silence.

4. Reframe “I don’t know” as “Take your time.”

4. Do not say “You must know.”

5. Ask “If you did know, what would the answer be?”

5. Do not fill the space with your theories.

6. Show calm confidence in their resourcefulness.

6. Do not check your phone or look away.

7. Ask “What is your best guess right now?”

7. Do not repeat the question louder.

8. Say “You have what you need already.”

8. Do not tell a similar story to prompt them.

9. Ask “What would you advise a friend in your situation?”

9. Do not finish their sentence.

10. Honour their wrong answers as data, not failure.

10. Do not withdraw trust after one wrong turn.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: Client says “I have no idea.” Coach smiles gently, says “That’s okay. Let it sit. I’m not going anywhere.”

• Example 2: “If your deepest wisdom spoke right now, what three words would it say?”

• Example 3: “You’ve solved harder problems than this before. What did you do then that might work here?”

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What do you already know about this that you haven’t said out loud yet?”

14. Learning is linked to the client’s real-world challenges and goals.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Start with “What is the real situation you are facing?”

1. Do not stay in abstract theory.

2. Ask “How does this learning apply to Tuesday morning?”

2. Do not let insight float without landing.

3. Use the client’s actual examples, not hypotheticals.

3. Do not use generic case studies.

4. Ask “What will you do differently as a result of this awareness?”

4. Do not assume insight automatically transfers.

5. Co-create small experiments for the real world.

5. Do not skip the “so what now” step.

6. Ask “Where will you test this new perspective first?”

6. Do not let the session end without application.

7. Use the client’s own metrics (“How will you know it worked?”).

7. Do not impose your own goals on them.

8. Ask “What could get in the way when you try this?”

8. Do not ignore barriers to real-world use.

9. Follow up next session on real-world attempts.

9. Do not treat learning as academic.

10. Ask “What support do you need to apply this?”

10. Do not assume one application fits all challenges.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: “You’ve just seen that you avoid conflict. What is one real conversation this week where you could test the opposite?”

• Example 2: “How does your insight about perfectionism show up specifically in your project deadline next Friday?”

• Example 3: “Let’s design a 5-minute experiment for tomorrow morning. What will you do, and what will you notice?”

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What is one specific situation in the next 48 hours where you will practise what you’ve just learned?”

15. Silence and reflection are often used to allow insights to emerge.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Intentionally pause after every powerful question.

1. Do not speak as soon as the client stops talking.

2. Count to 10 silently before responding.

2. Do not say “What are you thinking?” immediately.

3. Name the silence (“Let’s just sit with that for a moment”).

3. Do not fill silence with nervous chatter.

4. Watch the client’s face – insights often appear non-verbally.

4. Do not check the clock in silence.

5. Use a sand timer or bell for reflection.

5. Do not mistake silence for “nothing happening”.

6. Say “Take all the time you need.”

6. Do not interrupt with “Does that make sense?”

7. Reflect back after silence (“You’ve been quiet – what’s present for you?”).

7. Do not rephrase your question louder.

8. Use silence after the client says “I don’t know.”

8. Do not apologise for silence.

9. Invite a 1-minute reflection with closed eyes.

9. Do not force silence if the client needs talking.

10. End silence gently (“Shall we continue, or do you need more time?”).

10. Do not use silence as a power move.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: Coach asks “What really matters here?” then waits. Client shifts in chair, looks down, then looks up – “Oh.” Coach waits again.

• Example 2: “I’m going to be quiet for 60 seconds. Just let whatever comes, come.”

• Example 3: After a long pause, client says “I think…” Coach nods but does not speak. Client continues.

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What is happening for you in this silence?”

16. At higher levels of mastery, coaches are comfortable not knowing where the conversation will lead.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Enter sessions with curiosity, not a map.

1. Do not pre-plan your questions rigidly.

2. Say “I don’t know where this is going, and that’s fine.”

2. Do not fake certainty.

3. Follow the client’s energy, not your agenda.

3. Do not force the conversation back to “your” topic.

4. Be willing to look “unprofessional” by wandering.

4. Do not panic when you lose your thread.

5. Trust that useful things emerge from uncertainty.

5. Do not pretend to know the outcome.

6. Ask “Where do you want to go from here?”

6. Do not steer covertly.

7. Notice your own need for control – and release it.

7. Do not interrupt a tangent that feels irrelevant to you.

8. Say “Let’s explore without a destination.”

8. Do not judge the session’s value by “covering ground”.

9. Celebrate when you are surprised.

9. Do not impose a framework too early.

10. Model comfort with not-knowing.

10. Do not apologise for not having answers.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: Client goes somewhere unexpected. Coach says “This feels new – I’m genuinely curious. Keep going.”

• Example 2: “I came in thinking we might talk about X, but you’ve brought Y. Let’s follow Y and see.”

• Example 3: Coach admits “I actually don’t know what question to ask next – what would be useful now?”

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What wants to happen here that I’m not seeing yet?”

17. Master coaches create space rather than forcing awareness.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Hold a calm, non-judgmental presence.

1. Do not push, probe, or pressure.

2. Use soft eye contact or look away to reduce intensity.

2. Do not interrupt with “But have you considered…?”

3. Say “There’s no rush.”

3. Do not use urgency to force insight.

4. Physically lean back to give psychological space.

4. Do not fill space with talking.

5. Allow topics to drop and return naturally.

5. Do not hammer the same point.

6. Ask “What wants your attention today?” (open invitation).

6. Do not set a secret agenda.

7. Use a lighter tone when things are heavy.

7. Do not force depth where there is surface.

8. Say “We don’t have to solve anything today.”

8. Do not measure success by “breakthroughs”.

9. Breathe audibly and slowly.

9. Do not compete for airtime.

10. Trust that awareness emerges in spaciousness.

10. Do not mistake silence for emptiness.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: Client is stuck. Coach says “Let’s just sit here for a minute. No need to fix anything.”

• Example 2: “You keep circling this. That’s fine. What do you notice about the circling?”

• Example 3: Coach reduces their own talking by 50% – simply says “Mm” and waits.

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What space do you need right now – and how can I help create it?”

18. The coach partners with the client in exploring meaning and possibilities.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Use “we” language (“Let’s explore this together”).

1. Do not act like the expert.

2. Ask “What meaning are you making of this?”

2. Do not impose your meaning.

3. Co-create possibilities (“What are three options we haven’t named?”).

3. Do not give your own options as “the best”.

4. Check in (“Are we still on something useful?”).

4. Do not lead from behind a mask of neutrality.

5. Ask “How would you like me to partner with you today?”

5. Do not take over the agenda.

6. Use “What if we looked at this as…?” as an invitation, not a prescription.

6. Do not say “Here’s what we’re going to do.”

7. Summarise together (“So what are we learning so far?”).

7. Do not summarise only your view.

8. Ask “What else becomes possible now?”

8. Do not shut down wild possibilities.

9. Share your own curiosity without attachment.

9. Do not pretend you have no perspective at all.

10. End with “What did we create together today?”

10. Do not take sole credit for insights.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: “We’ve named three paths. Let’s walk down each one together – what do we see from each?”

• Example 2: “I’m curious about something – would it be useful if I shared it, or shall we keep going your way?”

• Example 3: “What meaning did you just make of that story – and what meaning might we find if we turn it over?”

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“How shall we work together on this – what do you need from me as your partner?”

19. Clients leave sessions with greater understanding of themselves and their situation.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Leave 5–10 minutes for synthesis.

1. Do not end abruptly on a problem.

2. Ask “What do you now understand that you didn’t before?”

2. Do not assume understanding.

3. Ask “What is clearer now?”

3. Do not let them leave more confused.

4. Invite the client to summarise their key insight.

4. Do not summarise for them without checking.

5. Ask “How has your view of the situation changed?”

5. Do not skip the closing reflection.

6. Ask “What do you understand about yourself differently?”

6. Do not focus only on external situation.

7. Ask “What will you remember from this session in a month?”

7. Do not ask “Do you understand?” (yes/no trap).

8. Use a closing check-in (“From 1–10, how well do you understand your situation now?”).

8. Do not rush to book next session without reflection.

9. Ask “What is one word for how you feel right now?”

9. Do not dismiss emotional shifts.

10. Thank them for their self-exploration.

10. Do not assume understanding equals solution.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: “Before we close, tell me – what do you see now that you didn’t see when we started?”

• Example 2: “If you had to explain your situation to a friend after today, what would be different in how you describe it?”

• Example 3: “What is the most significant shift in your own understanding – about you, not just the problem?”

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What is the most important thing you understand about yourself and your situation right now?”

20. Success is measured by the client’s growth in awareness, learning, confidence, and ability to make empowered choices.

10 Must Do

10 Must Not Do

1. Ask “What feels different in you compared to last session?”

1. Do not measure success only by external results.

2. Use a pre/post awareness scale (“Rate your clarity now vs then”).

2. Do not ignore small shifts.

3. Ask “What are you now willing to choose that you weren’t before?”

3. Do not measure by your own standards.

4. Celebrate increased confidence explicitly.

4. Do not dismiss confidence as “soft”.

5. Ask “What can you now do that you couldn’t do before?”

5. Do not require action as the only proof.

6. Track client’s self-defined learning goals.

6. Do not impose your success metrics.

7. Ask “How has your ability to choose changed?”

7. Do not measure by how “smart” the coach looked.

8. Use a reflective review every 3–6 sessions.

8. Do not skip celebrating awareness as a win.

9. Ask “What evidence do you see of your own growth?”

9. Do not compare to other clients.

10. Ask “What empowered choice have you made that surprised you?”

10. Do not forget that the client defines their success.

3 Examples of How To:

• Example 1: “When we started, you said you felt stuck. Now you say you see three options. What shifted in you to make that possible?”

• Example 2: “On a scale of 1–10, how confident are you to handle this situation now – and what gave you the increase?”

• Example 3: “What choice are you making today that you wouldn’t have made two months ago – and what does that say about your growth?”

1 Question a Coach Can Ask:
“What is the most important way you have grown – not in results, but in who you are being?”

One-sentence summary:

Standard 4 is about helping clients discover new awareness, learn from their experiences, and generate their own insights that lead to sustainable change.