Embedded Files
TED Talk
11:36 15,981,821 views
When your job hinges on how well you talk to people, you learn a lot about how to have conversations -- and that most of us don't converse very well. Celeste Headlee has worked as a radio host for decades, and she knows the ingredients of a great conversation: Honesty, brevity, clarity and a healthy amount of listening. In this insightful talk, she shares 10 useful rules for having better conversations. "Go out, talk to people, listen to people," she says. "And, most importantly, be prepared to be amazed."
7:35 7,671,093 views
In our louder and louder world, says sound expert Julian Treasure, "We are losing our listening." In this short, fascinating talk, Treasure shares five ways to re-tune your ears for conscious listening -- to other people and the world around you.
5 Secrets of the Art of Conversation
5 Secrets of the Art of Conversation
Having a CONVERSATION is something we often do without thinking about how we do it. But being a good conversationalist requires special skills.
Having a CONVERSATION is something we often do without thinking about how we do it. But being a good conversationalist requires special skills.
1. Start a conversation
1. Start a conversation
Do you have difficult to start a conversation with a stranger?
To get to know people, you have to talk to them.
Many people find it difficult to start a conversation with a stranger.
Meeting new people can be awkward.
What should you say?
How can you make a good impression?
How do you keep a conversation going?
An opening line is an important beginning.
Chose light topics to talk about, such as the weather, things around you, the city.
Don't talk about personal things at first.
Show that you are interested in the other person and in what he or she is saying.
2. Being a good listener
2. Being a good listener
Once the conversation has started, the next thing to do is
to get other people to talk about themselves.
Encourage them by asking more questions
(e.g. Where do you live, where are you from, what do you do?)
Show that you are listening by saying things like
Uh-hum, Yeah, Really? Oh!,Is that so?, How interesting!, Oh, really?, Me, too, and How about you?
3. Asking questions and giving answers
3. Asking questions and giving answers
Create a friendly atmosphere.
The kinds of questions you ask and the type of answers you give should make both of you feel comfortable.
Don't mention topics that are controversial or which might cause disagreement
(For example, politics, religion, how much something personal cost, salary).
Compliments can also create the right atmosphere.
4. Taking your turn
4. Taking your turn
In a conversation, both people should have something to say.
One person shouldn't do all the talking.
Avoid talking too much or too little.
When it's your turn to say something, keep the conversation going by giving your opinions or asking more questions.
5. Ending a conversation
5. Ending a conversation
Just as it is important to know how to begin a conversation, it's also important to know when it has reached its natural conclusion.
When you realize that a conversation is coming to an end, help to close it by using expressions like
Well, it's been nice talking to you!
Hope to talk to you again soon!
Practice
Practice
Now say 3 things you should do and 3 things you shouldn't do.
Image from: ifalpes
Image from: Brookstone School
Building Expressions
Building Expressions
Developing a conversation in social and business situations
Developing a conversation in social and business situations
⬜ Developing a conversation
⬜ Developing a conversation
⬜ Social Language
⬜ Social Language
⬜ Keeping the conversation going
⬜ Keeping the conversation going
Developing a conversation
Developing a conversation
Social situations in business are very important in building up confidence between individuals and groups. Getting to know your client often leads to good business.
The list of questions below is used to get information from people. Put them in a more logical order, then use to quiz your partner. Collect as much information as you can in a very short time - about one minute.
When did you start your present job?
Where do you live now?
What do you do?
Do you have a family?
What do you do in your spare time?
Are you married?
Where do you come from?
Social Language
Social Language
Ed Murray, Purchasing Manager for Baltimore City Bank, visits credit card manufacturer, Bill Klyne, in Washington. Over lunch they find out a little more about each other. Listen to the conversation, then answer the questions about the two men.
When did Ed first join the bank?
What department was he in then?
Where do the two men come from?
Does Bill have a family?
Is Ed married?
Does he have children?
What is Ed's main hobby?
What is happening in Baltimore next weekend?
Why can't Bill join Ed?
Keeping the conversation going
Keeping the conversation going
Several tenses are used when people discuss their past, their present and their future. Look at these sentences from the recorded conversation.
I'm really glad you could make this trip. (present and past simple)
How long have you been with the bank? (present perfect)
I joined about eight years ago. (past simple)
We're having a sort of tournament in Baltimore next weekend. (present continuous with future meaning)
Formal?
Formal?
When should we use formal or informal English?
One of the greatest fears affecting non native speakers of English is not just being misunderstood but also being inappropriate when trying to express something. People often speak of language as being correct or incorrect. It would be more accurate to refer to particular language structures as being formal or informal, appropriate or inappropriate for a specific context.
In everyday conversation we do not have to follow the rules of grammar as carefully as we would in a formal address or a business letter. If we adhere too closely to formal rules of grammar in an informal situation, we may come across as being stuffy and unnatural. It is like wearing a tuxedo or formal gown to an ordinary business meeting. Formal English follows rules of grammar very strictly. Sentences tend to be longer and more complex. It tends to be used in professional and business situations. It is also better organized and thought out.
Informal English on the other hand is generally used with friends and family. A number of grammar expressions have common forms which differ in their formal or informal use. These differences are noted both in written and spoken English. However, they are most notable in written English.
As seen in our lessons, participating effectively not only requires a solid grasp of English grammar, but also an understanding of key communication factors. If you want more helpful language hints as to the most appropriate forms of English or key points to take into consideration each time you are using English, read on.
Contracted Forms
Formal - Don’t use contracted forms, use the entire auxiliary verb: They have lived in New York for many years.
Informal - Use contracted forms: They’ve lived in New York for many years.
Relative Structures
Formal - Use relative structures: The woman thought that it was important to be on time.
Informal - Drop certain relative structures: The woman thought it was important to be on time.
The Use of ‘Whom’
Formal - Use ‘whom’ as an object: Whom have they chosen for the position?
Informal - Use ‘who’ as an object: Who have they chosen for the position?
Auxiliary Verb Usage
Formal - Always use the full form of an auxiliary: Have you finished your work?
Informal - Sometimes the auxiliary verb is dropped in informal speech. Note: This is often grammatically incorrect, but is certainly common in everyday usage: Finished your work?
Word Choice
Formal - Many words tend to be used in more formal situations. For example, certain verbs tend to be used in formal situations, but have other synonyms (often phrasal verbs) that are used in informal situations. Also, it uses more vocabulary derived from French and Latin (bigger words) It uses more synonyms and doesn’t repeat the same words as much. The police investigated the situation.
Informal synonym: We looked into the situation.
Passive structures
Formal - It uses more indirect language, making it less personal. The student was given a book.
Informal synonym: We gave the student a book.
Expressing disagreement
Expressing disagreement
Notice how we can disagree with opinions.
Notice how we can disagree with opinions.
Acknowledging an opinion and offering a different one.
Yeah, that’s interesting, but I think ...
That’s a good point, but …
Well, maybe, but don’t you think that ...?
Disagreeing with an opinion and offering a different one
Oh, I don’t know. I feel that ...
I disagree. I think …
Well, I don’t think that’s true ...
I don’t see it that way at all. I think that ...
Ending a discussion
Mmm. I guess we just have different opinions.
Well, maybe. I’ll have to think about it.
I guess we can’t agree on this.
Discussion topics
Fifty percent of all government officials should be women.
All nuclear power plants should be banned.
School should be voluntary after the age of twelve years.
All public transportation should be free.
Good Communication
Good Communication
The ever-growing need for good communication skills in English has created a huge demand for English teaching around the world. Millions of people today want to improve their command of English or to ensure that their children achieve a good command of English. And opportunities to learn English are provided in many different ways such as through formal instruction, travel, study abroad, as well as through the media and the Internet. The worldwide demand for English has created an enormous demand for quality language teaching and language teaching materials and resources. Learners set themselves demanding goals. They want to be able to master English to a high level of accuracy and fluency. Employers, too, insist that their employees have good English language skills, and fluency in English is a prerequisite for success and advancement in many fields of employment in today’s world. The demand for an appropriate teaching methodology is therefore as strong as ever.
Image from: University of Winsconsin-Madison
While grammatical competence is an important dimension of language learning, it is clearly not all that is involved in learning a language since one can master the rules of sentence formation in a language and still not be very successful at being able to use the language for meaningful communication. It is the latter capacity which is understood by the term communicative competence. Communicative competence includes the following aspects of language knowledge:
Knowing how to use language for a range of different purposes and functions
Knowing how to vary our use of language according to the setting and the participants (e.g., knowing when to use formal and informal speech or when to use language appropriately for written as opposed to spoken communication)
Knowing how to produce and understand different types of texts (e.g., narratives, reports, interviews, conversations)
Knowing how to maintain communication despite having limitations in one’s language knowledge (e.g., through using different kinds of communication strategies)
Consider the following sentences that are all requests for someone to open a door. Imagine that the context is normal communication between two friends. Check if you think they conform to the rules of grammatical competence (GC), communicative competence (CC), or both.
⬜GC ⬜ CC Please to opens door.
⬜GC ⬜ CC I want the door to be opened by you.
⬜GC ⬜ CC Would you be so terribly kind as to open the door for me?
⬜GC ⬜ CC Could you open the door?
⬜GC ⬜ CC To opening the door for me.
⬜GC ⬜ CC Would you mind opening the door?
⬜GC ⬜ CC The opening of the door is what I request.
Image from: St. Lawrence University
Effective communicators
Effective communicators
CEO chief executive officer; the highest position in a company
apartheid official government policy that discriminated against nonwhite people in South Africa
activists people who take one side of a political or social issue and work to make changes
eloquent giving a clear and strong message fluently and expressively
designated appointed or chosen for the purpose
Read about these effective communicators. What else do you know about them?
Who are some effective communicators you know? What qualities make them effective?
Public speaking
Public speaking
Fear of public speaking
Fear of public speaking
Studies have shown that public speaking is many people's biggest fear. Do you share this fear? Complete the survey. Add a statement of your own.
Compare and explain your answers using examples from your life whenever possible. What do you have in common? How are you different?
Google Sites
Report abuse