Founder's Cup Returns
Midseason Tournament New Path to Hardware, Revenue
After a two-decade absence, the Founder’s Cup will return to the United League this summer in Havana. The midseason knockout tournament will span nine days in early July and offer a new pathway for teams to win hardware and earn extra revenue. One major change to the event is a switch to a triennial format; the next event will happen in 1995.
The tournament will include five group stage games followed by three knockout games. Every UL team will play eight games whether they advance to the knockout stages or not and the games will count in the regular season standings.
The league’s 18 teams will be randomly drawn into three six-team qualifying groups and play each other once, with the top two teams from each group and top two third-place teams advancing to the knockout stage and the remaining 10 teams playing three games among themselves.
The games will replace one-third of the 24 divisional round-robin games in September, which will be reduced to 16 games starting Sept. 11.
The Founder’s Cup ran annually from 1962-1971 with rotating host cities, and was won twice by the Dallas Texans and Detroit Griffins in otherwise lean years for both franchises.
1992 Draft Review
Or I'd Buy That for a Dollar!
By Sean “When’s he gonna change his avatar picture?” Holloway, Beat Reporter
Everyone remember how this works? Risk level, fit, and value drive my final verdict. This year, we’ll tweak things a bit to see which picks I’m buying for a dollar (best), .75 cents (better) or .50 (good), and if there are any for which I’m not too keen……
1. ATL – SP Pedro Martinez
WAR W L ERA WHIP
83.9 219 100 2.93 1.054
Did You Know?
• First right-handed pitcher to reach 300 Ks and have a sub 2.00 ERA since Walter Johnson in 1912.
Never pitched a no hitter or perfect game but did pitch 9 innings of no-hit ball before losing his no-hit bid in the 10th.
FUN FACT: Brother Ramon plays for BRO.
FUNNER FACT: Played Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite.
The best SP in the draft, and possibly the best pitcher the UL may see, GM Andy Chaney rides the re-introduced Lottery Pick to the top! With Fernando (their ace from Sweden), Daryl Kile and Andy Ashby, ATL now has the problem of determining which SP is the true ace. I’m not going to even start with ratings because if I do, you’ll get sick, and besides, I don’t think I can count that high. Hands down a great pick, and this should propel ATL to success. Buying this pick at BEST quality (which means for a dollar)!
2. BOS – C Mike Piazza
WAR HR BA RBI SB OBP SLG OPS
59.5 427 .308 1335 17 .377 .545 .922
Did You Know?
In 1998 was traded first to the Marlins with Todd Zeile for Gary Sheffield, Charles Johnson, Bobby Bonilla, Jim Eisenreich and Manuel Barrios. Was then traded to the Mets for Preston Wilson, Ed Yarnall, and minor-leaguer Geoff Goetz, so you know the Marlins had their thinking caps on for that deal; that was a Holloway deal if I’ve ever seen one.
Married Playboy model Alicia Rickter; Al Leiter and Pudge attended the nuptials.
Owns a Honda dealership in PA.
Owns a 3rd division Italian football team, A.C. Reggiana 1919.
FUN FACT: owns a chain of Italian restaurants called Piazza’s Pizzas.
FUNNER FACT: LA GM Peter Vays’ favorite catcher.
Wow. Just Wow. GM Hetzer has a premium position player with premium ratings. Piazza could tear the league up, and BOS had been searching for a replacement for Daulton, who, while performing decently, is rumored to be acting like a dick, not to mention he’s pretty pricey. Fantastic pick. Buying this pick for a dollar!
3. KEY – RF Tim Salmon
WAR HR BA RBI SB OBP SLG OPS
40.5 299 .282 1016 48 .385 .498 .884
Did You Know?
1993 AL ROY and WS with Angels in 2002.
FUN FACT: Purchased and is a co-owner of the largest fishery in CA along with Mike Trout. (Kevin Bass pulled out at the last minute.)
GM Aiton is slowly building a fighting force of extraordinary magnitude; he has our gratitude. Adding this guy to the lineup is an immediate upgrade over current RF Mike Young. Salmon could be lacing balls all over the place and should have an immediate impact with his 9 power rating. Holy Moley. Has some glove in RF as well. Cannot argue with Salmon’s skills, and it seems that Aiton, eschewing SPs, is looking to beat people into submission a la TOR. If that’s the case, then I’ll tentatively buy this pick for a dollar, but I am wondering if picking up Astacio or Reynolds here may have been the play.
4. DEN – 2B Jeff Kent
WAR HR BA RBI SB OBP SLG OPS
55.4 377 .290 1320 94 .356 .500 .855
Did You Know?
5-time All Star, 4-time Silver Slugger; 2000 NL MVP; only 2B to have six consecutive seasons with 100 RBI.
In 2002, showed up to spring training with a busted wrist/hand and claimed it was a result of “washing his truck”; in reality he was doing wheelies on his motorcycle and fell.
FUN FACT: owns a body shop called “Get Unbent with Jeff Kent!”.
FUNNER FACT: Dickie Thon’s next movie “Washing His Truck” is currently filming.
DEN GM Smith has found himself a 2B, and oh, what a guy. Smith does have a “problem” at 2B because he already has that scrubby Mark McLemore there. Luckily for Smith, and unfortunately for the rest of the UL, McLemore plays 18 positions, so it seems he will eventually give way to Kent once Kent is ready. A most delightful predicament for the 14ers. Kent should be hitting balls for miles in DEN’s rarified air. Definitely buying this pick for a dollar.
5. MAN – SS John "Not Jose" Valentin
WAR HR BA RBI SB OBP SLG OPS
32.5 124 .279 558 47 .360 .454 .814
Did You Know?
1995 AL SS at SS; completed unassisted triple play vs SEA in 1994 - only ML player to do that, hit for the cycle, and hit 3 HRs in a game.
FUN FACT: always sends teammates cards on February 14th, in which he asks them “Won’t you be my Valentin?”
FUNNER FACT: although you’d think it so, he claims he is NOT confused with Jose “Not John” Valentin, another UL SS, but is often confused with DEN 2B Jeff “Neither John nor Jose Valentin” Kent.
With current SS Dickie Thon getting older, and with his second career in the “movie industry” becoming so successful that he is likely earning more money there than in the UL, it’s clear that Dickie may not be with MAN much longer. Hence, Herr Holthaus was in search of a replacement Dickie, and he found a good one in John Valentin. An above average fielder and a solid bat make Valentin the best SS in this draft. The one concern is that MAN’s rotation is also getting up there with an average age of 33.6 years, and this begs the question of how many innings these veterans will be able to handle. Buying for .75 cents as an SP may have been a slightly better option.
6. FLO – SP Shane Reynolds
WAR W L ERA WHIP
17.8 114 96 4.09 1.314
Did You Know?
2000 NL All Star.
FUN FACT: favorite movie genre is the Western.
FUNNER FACT: Favorite actor is Alan Ladd.
FUNNEST FACT: If you understand the references, my god, man, you are ancient and likely watched a lot of TV as a kid.
FLO is on the lookout and seeking to improve in a number of areas, and GM Lima is taking his proven approach that the game is “pitching, pitching, and more pitching” by picking up arguably the #2 SP in the draft. Reynolds has the potential to be an ace for many teams; here he’ll take the #2 behind Mussina. FLO needs bats as well, but setting up a one-two punch of a 24 ace and a 23 second is worth it. I’ll buy this pick for a dollar!
7. SF – OF Brian Jordan
WAR HR BA RBI SB OBP SLG OPS
32.9 184 .282 821 119 .333 .455 .788
Did You Know?
Played three seasons in the NFL as a safety for the Falcons (1989 – 1991).
From 1995 – 2001, was on average 18.6 runs better than the typical major league RF defensively.
FUN FACT: always leads the effort in the Spiders annual “wear your favorite Marvel character’s outfit” on Marvel Night; Jordan always dresses as The Falcon.
Spiders GM Jeff “my Spidey sense is tingling” Tonole has made an interesting pick in the number 7 spot. Tonole, historically a lover of SPs in Round 1, threw us all a change-up and landed OF Brian Jordan. A defensive wizard, it seems as if Tonole is shoring up the OF in preparation for Rob Deer being released back into the wild again. Mike Aldrete is doing well in RF, and while Deer is batting clean-up, he has had a rough go of it in the batter’s box. Jordan could step into LF and be better defensively and likely better behind the plate. With Aldrete, Williams and Jordan, the SF OF should be set for some time. I still wonder, though, if SF should have grabbed an SP at this spot. The Spiders’ ballpark is oppressive to hitters, so Tonole apparently is rolling the dice, sticking with his current staff and trying to generate more offense while improving defense and relying on his park to help his current staff. I’ll buy this pick for .75 cents.
8. DET – C Dave Nilsson
WAR HR BA RBI SB OBP SLG OPS
10.6 105 .284 470 15 .356 .461 .817
Did You Know?
1995 NL All Star (first Australian); most famous Australian MLB player.
FUN FACT: walk-out music is “What’s My Scene?” by the Hoodoo Gurus.
FUNNER FACT: when slumping, changes his walk-out music to “Everybody’s Talking”, a cover by Nilsson.
FUNNEST FACT: Chicago Steve is going to point out about five songs by Australian bands that would make better walk-out songs.
Has the eternal quest for a catcher been finally achieved in DET? Only time will tell, but GM Holloway must have been on his A game and not out at the clubs for this pick. The Griffins have been without a solid backstop since Ernie Whitt died (figuratively). While Pat “Disputed” Borders and Joe Oliver are doing their best in a platoon situation, Holloway hopes that Nilsson will add immediately add offense to the Griffins sometimes lacking batting order. This was one place that DET could improve immediately, as Nilsson should be able to start the 1992 season, so buying this pick for a dollar.
9. DET – Fat Boy Ryan Klesko
WAR HR BA RBI SB OBP SLG OPS
26.7 278 .279 987 91 .370 .500 .870
Did You Know?
NL All Star 2001; won WS with Braves in 1995.
Served as Padres spokesman for the Make-a-Wish Foundation where he did batting practice, pre-game ceremony and a ballgame for kids; through “Klesko’s Korner”, provided tickets to children with cancer and their families, as well as supporting the Padres Scholar Program. He may have been a fat boy that couldn’t play defense, but the guy’s a righteous dude.
FUN FACT: actually related to Bob Horner; Klesko is Horner’s 5th nephew twice removed on his mother’s side (whatever that means).
FUNNER FACT: first ULer to have no position and just be tagged “Fat Boy”, which is a bit of a misnomer because it’s not like the guy is morbidly obese; Klesko reportedly takes the good-natured ribbing well.
Folks, we’re not sure what DET GM Holloway was doing with the Griffins’ second pick of the round. Klesko is an honorary member of the Fat Boy Club (headed by President Kevin Mitchell who recently took over from Bob Horner), and Klesko can barely move in the field. Detroit just has to have one corner IFer be part of this club. Defensive liability is written all over him, and the one place that he could play, 1B, is already occupied by the Crime Dog. Holloway wouldn’t put Klesko in LF, would he? Wait a minute! This is Holloway after all, and when you spend that much money on hookers and blow, this is what you get. In Holloway’s defense, Klesko does look like a decent offensive prospect, and in Kiner Field, which favors leftie power hitters, Klesko could flourish. But will the offense offset the blunderful defense? Buying for .50 cents.
10. SEA – C Javy Lopez
WAR HR BA RBI SB OBP SLG OPS
29.7 260 .287 864 8 .337 .491 .828
Did You Know?
Three-time NL All Star; 1996 NLCS MVP; 2003 SS; WS with ATL in 1995.
FUN FACT: a local Jewish deli, known for its tasty foods and for having owners that love the Braves, created their own sandwich for the Braves catcher and called it the Javy Nagila.
FUNNER FACT: the sandwich is the most popular item in the deli.
With fans in Conference Room G screaming “Let’s go, Brandon!”, GM Brandon Tucker gave the Rainiers faithful just what they wanted – a player at a premium position with power. From the team’s perspective, SEA has to do something about current catcher Brian Harper. Unfortunately, the machine he once was appears to have been skipping oil changes, resulting in just a 0.4 WAR for the 1991 UL season. And as we all know, when you’re paying a guy $9.5M per, this will not do. Tucker nailed down a premium position with the addition of Lopez. There is development risk, though, so I’ll buy for .75 cents.
11. DET - SP Pedro Astacio
WAR W L ERA WHIP
25.6 129 124 4.67 1.374
Did You Know?
Was nicknamed La Mula (The Mule); fanned 10 in his ML debut, as Luis Tiant did in 1964.
FUN FACT: Nearly played Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite but was – just like in baseball – overlooked for the part and saw Pedro Martinez get the role.
How the hell did this guy drop? And how the hell did Holloway pick him? By mistake, of course. By pick 11, Holloway was already three sheets to the wind. Griffins representatives have told me that Holloway ordered his draft team to take Astacio by shouting “Take Pedro! He is the god of hellfire!” before high-fiving Tom Grieve and then passing out underneath the DET war table. When Holloway awoke, he was stunned to find he had drafted Pedro Astacio and not Martinez. I’ll buy this pick for a dollar, though, as Pedro Junior could be a solid pitching prospect. Oh, and “swoop?”. Could it be? Yes, it’s a little Swoop Train rollin’ round the bend! PA may be “that guy” for the 1992 Draft.
12. MON – 2B Bret Boone
WAR HR BA RBI SB OBP SLG OPS
22.8 252 .266 1021 94 .325 .442 .767
Did You Know?
Three-time All Star; four-time GG; two-time SS.
First third-generation player in the ML; grandson of Ray Boone, son of Bob Boone – brother Aaron soon joined him.
FUN FACT: Great-great-great-great-grandson of Daniel Boone.
FUNNER FACT: never killed a bear with his bare hands; big supporter of conservation efforts since most of us now don’t live in areas where bears could eat us.
GM Gryka has been quietly marshalling his forces and building over the past several seasons, and it appears he may have reached full capacity. When you’re drafting Bret Boone and yet you have 2B Bip Roberts starting, your cup must be overflowing. Boone is a solid player, but with Olympic Stadium being essentially a pitcher’s park, I do wonder if that may have been the pick at this spot. I’ll buy for .75 cents.
13. ATL – SS Jose "Not John" Valentin
WAR HR BA RBI SB OBP SLG OPS
31.6 249 .243 816 136 .321 .448 .769
Did You Know?
Six 20 HR seasons; one 30 HR season.
FUN QUESTION: did anyone ever wonder if Andy is related to Lon Chaney Sr. and Lon Chaney Jr., or am I the only one?
FUN FACT: never accepts Valentine Day cards from John Valentin; once the guys sent cards to each other asking “won’t you be my Valentin?”, and then streams were crossed, portals opened, and the joke universe nearly collapsed on itself as the space-time continuum was nearly torn asunder.
GM Chaney is back at it! The man with 20 first-round picks in 1992 grabs a power hitting SS that also has glove! Taking a page out of GM Qualls’ book, ATL now has an improvement at SS over DiSarcina and Sojo. While some may argue there were better players available, the fit with ATL is what makes me buy this pick for a dollar. Can’t play a great pick if you’re already stacked, so work the weaker areas!
14. BRO – RP Kevin "Not Kenny" Rogers
WAR W L ERA WHIP
1.1 2 4 3.17 1.32
Did You Know?
Was having a good 1993 – was 2-2 with a 2.68 ERA as an RP – but a blood clot in his shoulder ended his ML career.
•FUN FACT: was the inspiration for and had his name first used for South Park for Trey and Matt: “Oh, my god! They killed Kevin!”; eventually the guys went with Kenny because it just rolled off the tongue easier.
This is an interesting pick for TurboTimBRO. Typically BRO loves a pitcher pick in Round 1, so in that regard, the pick is not interesting. The fact that it is an RP is what’s intriguing. Apparently TurboTimBRO decided he has enough SPs and passed on guys like Cooke and Osborne in favor of strengthening his pen. I agree in that I’m not certain there was a position player available that would have had an immediate impact, and BRO usually has enough SPs to field two rotations. My only concern is that Kenny – er, Kevin – has some development risk to have been taken this high. I’ll buy for .75 cents.
15. KEY – SP Butch Henry
WAR W L ERA WHIP
8.3 33 33 3.83 1.33
Did You Know?
Only HR in his career was an inside-the-parker against Doug Drabek.
FUN FACT: great grandfather was the inspiration behind a candy bar, as he frequented a shop the inventor owned; all the girls loved his great grandfather and whenever talking about him they would say “Oh Henry!”.
GM Aiton continues to add to his starting rotation by selecting Henry, a solid pitcher who has control to yearn for. Same as with TurboTimBRO, I’d be hard-pressed to find another player that could have an immediate impact. We can argue about which pitcher to take, but the general approach of collecting starters is one I fully support. I’ll buy for .75 cents.
16. CHI – SP Steve Cooke
WAR W L ERA WHIP
4.3 26 36 4.31 1.412
Did You Know?
Started 1993 fairly well for the Pirates, who were pretty awful at this time, but arm injuries hit him in 1994 and the poor guy was never the same.
FUN FACT: The Commish has nicknamed him the Cooke Monster; let’s see if he does more in CHI than eat tasty treats.
Chicago Steve – and all these guys at the bottom of the round – are facing a sticky wicket since the quality of pick dropped off fairly quickly after the first 13 or so. And when in doubt or when they are few solid position players available, an SP can always be a good thing. Why not take the chance? And with CHI’s park oppressive for hitters, this seems like a solid pick. Cooke is also fairly developed, so I’ll buy this pick for a dollar!
17. WAS – 2B/LF Eric Young
WAR HR BA RBI SB OBP SLG OPS
18.8 79 .283 543 465 .359 .390 .749
Did You Know?
NL All Star, SS and SB leader 1996
FUN FACT: walk-out song is “Forever Young” by Alphaville.
FUNNER FACT: Chicago Steve wants it to be “Forever Young” by Dylan, but Eric is a fan of German synthpop.
I really like this pick by GM Waller. Young has that strange combination of 2B and LF, so he’s versatile in a way most don’t expect of a middle IF. He seems as if he could get on base quite often, and if he does, he’s a definite threat to steal a base. Currently he can back up Ryno and Chili. This is the best of a bad situation when there’s no other player that really fits or floats your boat. Definitely buying this for a dollar!
18. LA – SP Donovan Osborne
WAR W L ERA WHIP
5.4 49 46 4.03 1.306
Did You Know?
Played for the Cardinals, Cubs and Yankees over nine years.
FUN FACT: they call him mellow yellow – quite rightly.
This pick is harder to gauge since as soon as GM Vays made the pick, Osborne was shipped off to DEN in an eight-player deal. I won’t get into the trade, but I do like Osborne as a pitcher, and with DEN re-building, I can at least buy that part of the deal for a dollar. Best SP left goes to DEN.
Deal Reached on STL Catchphrase Licensing
The “Woots” Return to St. Louis! Woot! Woot! Woot!
by Sean “Steady On” Holloway, UL Beat Reporter
With STL GM Glen Reed's signing OF Rickey “Man of Steal” Henderson and Tony “Damn, he’s expensive” Phillips to contract extensions, many Maroons fans began to worry that Reed was signing checks that the organization soon wouldn’t be able to cash. Henderson re-upped for a potential 5-year $40M deal, while Phillips signed for a 3-year $27M deal.
As if that wasn’t enough, Reed then finagled another deal where the Maroons acquired SS extraordinaire Robin “Carry that weight” Yount from WAS, spending only $1 to acquire a guy who’s considered one of the elite players of the UL.
And while fans are stoked to have the players with the club, rumblings immediately started, as fans are troubled about potentially losing money, seeing the team’s cap reduced, and then falling into a downward spiral.
As you remember, after the signings of Henderson and Phillips, Reed, always ahead of the situation, reached an agreement with GM Sean Holloway of the DET Griffins whereby Reed gave up the rights to two of his “woots” from his three-woot catchphrase, leaving him down to one “woot” but much richer cash-wise.
And while fans were concerned about money, they were more distraught over being wootless. “It’s what we look forward to hearing” moaned one fan. “When the ‘woots’ are heard, we know that Reed has pulled off some awesome deal that will propel the team forward!”
Reed, ever cognizant of fan sentiment, reportedly spent hours in intense negotiations with Holloway. Rumors of a huge cash payout, cash plus players, and even an assistant GM being sent Detroit’s way have been floated.
But those with connections to the seedy underworld of the UL know what really happened. Your beat reporter, being a seedy guy with connections himself, is here to spill the beans. Allegedly Reed took Holloway out to a local strip club, where Holloway was approached by Lenny Dykstra pushing a cart filled with real Russian vodka.
Due to current conditions and that stupid war, kind of hard to get the genuine stuff, so to Holloway, who’s known to drink every now and then (don’t laugh), was ecstatic. No one knows how Reed got the stuff, but it’s clear he must be using his old and well-established Russian connections developed in the 1990s.
And this is fabulous news for the entire UL! What’s the UL without Reed and his “woots”? Nothing, I tell you. To ensure this never happens again, Reed just got the trademark rights!
Woot! Woot! Woot!®
Guard Your Doritos
WAS GM Waller Under Suspicion After Owner Passes
by Sean “Steady On” Holloway, UL Beat Reporter
The entire UL has lowered flags to half-mast in honor of WAS owner Lorenzo Perez, who
reportedly passed away on January 12, 1992, per his son Lucilius, who will take over ownership of the Mons immediately.
What does this mean for WAS? Will Waller have the support of Lucilius to continue on a breakneck pace of spending that enables him to buy every FA he wants and sign his core to ridiculously long extensions whenever he wants? Lucilius is a tolerant economizer, but he is known for his meddling, so we’ll have to see if these two play nicely.
Your friendly neighborhood beat reporter doesn’t want to be Debbie Downer, but I do believe it behooves me to note that rumors are running wild (as is Hulkamania) around the UL regarding the exact circumstances of Lorenzo’s death. I have it from numerous credible sources that the elder Perez’s death may not have been so quiet as reported, with son Lucilius reportedly seething and convinced that his father’s security personnel were absolute idiots that “couldn’t guard Doritos”.
Furthermore, insiders claim they are taking a hard look at all Mons staff members, with particular attention being paid to……….GM Mark Waller! Dun dun duuuuunnnnnn! The elder Perez was reportedly found dead in his office with a blunt still in his mouth. Extensive testing has shown that the strain of Mary Jane that Perez was smoking is very rare and sold by few companies, all of which, though, are CLIENTS of GM Waller’s side gig as a CPA. Son Lucilius is dumbfounded as his father always stayed away from anything of this sort.
Whooooooooaaaaaa, Nelly! While some fans are sticking by Waller and believe he will be vindicated, others are not too sure, pointing out the strange event in 1979 when the Mons’ minor league stadium “accidentally” burned down following a series of cryptic announcements from Waller that he wanted a new one, most notably the one where he said “I want a new one”.
Waller, fresh off selling Mons fan favorite SS Robin Yount, buying Puckett and Duncan, and a massive re-sign of Bert, is keeping quiet and focusing on pulling the Mons together for another playoff run. Whether or not he will be able to be successful while simultaneously fend off rumors and suspicion is anyone’s guess.