Breaking News: Locals Defy Drinking Laws at Dawn Winery!

Gently landing on a sloping hill by a Statue of the Seven, Hayate folded his newest glider—with a painted panorama of Falcon Coast stretched across its wings—back into its usual compact form. He expertly scanned his environment before swiftly pulling out a crumpled piece of parchment from a hidden pocket in his robes. Squinting at the vague squiggles, he lifted it up to face level and compared it to his surroundings. Then frowned.

The wrinkled map was still as legible as it was when he first bought it; in other words, not at all. Were the collapsed stone walls to his left the triangle-shaped ink blot or was that just an honest mistake? Was the jagged line in the corner a birch or was he simply reaching? Either all the cartographers in Mondstadt were terrible at their jobs, he didn’t understand Monstadt mapmaking conventions or… he had been scammed again. For the seventh time this week. 

Irately crunching the paper into a ball, he shoved it back into his collar and lifted himself up with a current. The winery shouldn’t be too far from his location if everything else the parchment seller had told him wasn’t a complete lie. A distant red roof informed him that the lady indeed hadn’t lied about the general direction, but it was probably more because he happened to be standing in a crowd of other market-goers that did know than any goodness of her heart. Though she had given him a sympathetic smile when he left, now that he thought about it. And handed him a free quill and nib. And a stack of patterned papers. … Hindsight was 20/20, as people said.

Shaking his head and opening his glider with a crack, he flew and dipped down to a nub of rock poking out of the ground. The steep drop that presumably led to the Dawn Winery was already in sight; his mood lifted a tad at the thought. He would soon be viewing the most celebrated vineyard in Mondstadt in its full glory, so he could be magnanimous and forgive the bumps and blunders others had contributed to the process.

←✣→

Meanwhile, Yuhai was wandering the landscapes of Mondstadt, trying to take everything in before he inevitably had to return to Liyue. Even though Edrich wasn’t going to let him drink alcohol, it wouldn’t stop the delinquent thief. He had heard that a place called Dawn Winery was nearby, and that the grapes there made for fantastic wine.

Along the way, Yuhai caught sight of a familiar face. It was Hayate, the fella that worked with him and Edrich when they worked to beat up the Ruin Guards a few days ago. He unfortunately hadn’t gotten to know the guy much during that excursion. He had been blunt and kept to himself unless Yuhai asked him a question, and after a while Yuhai had become uncomfortable with bothering him so much. 

“Hey hey!” Yuhai called out to the guy as he hurriedly rushed to catch up to Hayate, “What’s up? You look lost.”

Pausing at the voice coming from behind him and turning around, Hayate caught sight of Yuhai—that part-time adventurer who sometimes came along on Edrich’s excursions—and hesitated. “May the storm steer clear of your shore, Yuhai. … I might be lost.”

“Uhh yeah, likewise,” Yuhai replied with near awkwardness. He wasn’t sure what to say to such a sophisticated greeting. And while Yuhai barely knew the geography of Mondstadt, he knew some of the landmarks. “I’m not sure I’ll be much help, but where are you heading?”

“I’ve been meaning to visit Dawn Winery.” Hayate nodded firmly. “Best dandelion wine in Tevyat, I hear. It would be terrible if it ends up out of stock before I arrive due to my bad sense of direction.” Deciding to try for a little more amiability—Yuhai was an acquaintance of his and a friend of Edrich, after all—he added, “Are you headed there too?”

Best dandelion wine in Tevyat? Yuhai’s first thought went to crime. He wanted to have a taste of the wine before he left Mondstadt. His second thought was one full of wickedness. Not one full of malice, but one with a feeling of good humor and fun. He determined he would play a harmless prank on Hayate.

“Dawn Winery? Nah, I’m too young to go there,” Yuhai lied unconvincingly, “I’m just… taking a stroll.”

Yuhai jerked his thumb backwards, towards Springvale, which was definitely the opposite way of Dawn Winery, “But I think I think Dawn Winery’s this way. Big mansion house, right? Can’t miss it.”

“Thank you for the help. I hope you have a good stroll, Yuhai.” Giving the young man a polite nod without noticing his oddity, Hayate started moving opposite to his original path, relieved that he was directed the right way—he’d been walking in the wrong direction the entire time, it seemed. That parchment vendor really wasn’t to be trusted, even if she did give him a fair bit of free merchandise.

Yuhai’s lip twitched as he kept a smile under wraps. He was sure that this would only mislead Hayate for an hour or two, right?

Boosting himself up with another updraft, Hayate left without a backwards glance—it might have been a rude action to some, but to him, it was simply a matter of practicality. 

For the next several hours he flew, then walked, then flew, then walked, then flew, then walked, then flew again. Halfway in, he’d felt the length of time it was taking was a little odd, but he brushed it off. It was surely his own unfamiliarity acting up again. Only once he’d reached Springvale—which a place he knew for sure wasn’t anywhere near Dawn Winery—did he realize that he’d been hoodwinked. 

At first, he’d thought that the dark-haired man must’ve made a mistake, or maybe he himself had. Upon having a chat with a friendly chef and getting a chicken-mushroom skewer because he was supposedly “too pitiful” to leave alone, he’d finally understood that the man had been trying to play a prank. And what a prank it was, causing him to journey all the way to Springvale. He couldn’t let this stand—while he was forgiving, he wasn’t a toothless blobfish to poke fun at.

←✣→

Meanwhile, Yuhai didn’t have much luck at Dawn Winery. Perhaps it was a lack of maturity in his behavior or his youthful appearance, but nobody at the winery believed his lie that he was above the drinking age when he said that he came to buy a barrel of dandelion wine. They might have also been dubious that someone with such wild clothing could have possibly gotten the money for the wine legitimately. 

Regardless, Yuhai had compromised with the winery people by harvesting a small amount of grapes and cooking them into grape juice. But it was a poor substitute for wine-- especially considering Yuhai had no experience making grape juice. 

So as the sun set, Yuhai nursed his cup of hot, pulpy, sugarless grape juice. And out in the horizon, he saw a familiar figure approach the winery. He raised his cup in a greeting towards Hayate, “Yo, glad you could make it!”

Yuhai looked up at the sky with concern. It was orange with the waning sun, meaning that it probably took Hayate several hours of flying to find the winery. Oops. He turned to face Hayate with a guilty grin, hoping that he wasn’t too angry.

Hayate wasn’t amused. Though his expression was abundantly harsh, his eyes were the true indicator of his mood. The jade-green irises would be poking holes of pure indignation into the other if they could. Pointing at the not-an-acquaintance who had made him go on a wild goose chase for a full afternoon, he said, “You.” 

Without another pronouncement, he flicked his fingers upwards. There was a loud swoosh and the air started pushing upwards at his current greatest foe.

“Ahh!” Yuhai shouted in surprise as he was suddenly lifted into the air. The grape juice flew out of his hand and flew all over the place, luckily not splashing Yuhai too much. Despite the situation, Yuhai let out a laugh. There was quite a thrill in being launched up in the air. 

But then he remembered. Hayate seemed to be bent on taking Yuhai down. And for some reason, Yuhai felt that he had to stand his ground. 

So with three slashing motions, Yuhai wrapped water around himself and surged downward with a blast, before crashing down near Hayate. 

“Man, if you want a fight, just say it!” Yuhai said, fueled by the energy of the moment, “I wouldn’t say no!”

Giving himself a little push of air to jump away in time, Hayate scowled. Yuhai was the one who’d deceived him, yet here he was, actively looking for a fight. Not that he would back down from it, no—his tendency to avoid problems might have manifested if he hadn’t been provoked or been quite so resentful, but it was unfortunate that he had been precisely provoked during a period when he was exceptionally resentful. 

“Then fight.” Before he had even finished speaking, he dropped a net of wind currents over the two of them, accidentally crushing trellises and grape vines in the area as he did. He flinched when he heard a creak and a crack, staring in mild horror as looping vines and leaves tumbled to the ground. Frozen with a great feeling of dread washing over him, he heard the plops of grapes breaking out of their skin.

“Hey!” A man dressed in plain labour clothes started running towards them. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Yuhai had taken a step back to get into a more favorable combat position, but upon seeing the damage that Hayate had caused, Yuhai was uncertain if fighting was a good idea. But with a worker from Dawn Winery approaching, Yuhai definitely knew they were in trouble.

“Oh, me and my pal here just had a bit of a disagreement,” Yuhai said with a lopsided smile. A disagreement was quite a simplification. “We kinda have to brawl it out. Sorry about the…”

“You can’t just brawl it out on private grounds! Look at the grapes!” The worker wrung his hands in resigned despair, likely internally bemoaning his fate in having to take the evening shift and meeting up with the two idiots.

Yuhai took a look around. Oh man, from just a few attacks, that was quite a bit of damage. If they continued to fight, considering how this was literally Hayate’s second attack, and how Yuhai was hopelessly reckless, there wouldn’t be any grapes left for there to make into wine.

“Maybe it’s time to dip…” Yuhai suggested, slowly scooching away.

Hayate almost dropped his head in chagrin at the admonishment before catching sight of Yuhai trying to slip from the scene. Feeling just a little bit petty, he tugged at his shoes with a short gust, hoping to make him trip and stay for the reprimand and ban that was sure to come.

Just as Hayate hoped, Yuhai immediately crashed into the cobblestone face first. It hurt. Like fuck. Yuhai dragged himself up and gave Hayate a dirty look. 

Doing his best to keep his face straight, the anemo-user didn’t peek his way and discreetly let loose a puff of air at the patches of dust on the other’s dark grey clothing—both a half-hearted apology and a half-hearted cleaning job. Yuhai gave Hayate a slightly reproachful but thankful glance.

“Okay.” Moving his eyes between the two, the man rubbed his face. “You know what? If you really can’t do without a fight, I have another proposal for you. You’re at the Dawn Winery, and what is the winery known for? Wine.” The employee pointed to a cart loaded with four barrels. “I have a couple casks of Dandelion Wine sitting around, and while I want to send it back home, I think you two need it more. Have a drinking match—whoever wins is whoever wins, let go of your issues after that, alright?”

Under his breath, he added, “And let go of the property too—I swear, kids these days.”

Yuhai’s eyes lit up when he heard the offer. After spending six hours here, desperately trying to get some alcohol, he now had the perfect opportunity! He just hoped that Hayate wouldn’t rat him out to Edrich after this spar of alcohol tolerance. 

“Hell yeah that sounds awesome!” Yuhai exclaimed, “Let’s do it!”

The worker left to go grab the dandelion wine, and Yuhai turned to Hayate as he hoped that his friendly rival was okay with the idea. 

“You think you can outdrink me, Hayate?” Yuhai asked, teasing with a hint of faux-mocking. 

“I’ve only ever been beaten by my m—one person, so yes, I think so.” Hayate studied him, considering his opponent’s capacity for alcohol. “You don’t look like you can hold your liquor.” He nodded sagely, at peace. He would certainly be winning this battle.

“Haha, don’t underestimate me,” Yuhai said, “I didn’t lose all my braincells on my own!”

But in truth, Yuhai didn’t have much experience in drinking alcohol. Just the occasional beer when he was able to steal it or get an unsuspecting street wanderer to buy it for him. But regardless, Yuhai was determined to not lose this fight. 

The worker returned, dragging a line of wine casks. Yuhai’s eyes lit up, and he energetically returned the table that he had been sitting on, which had tipped over in their little scuffle, onto its upright condition. The man placed two tankards on the table as well as a bottle of dandelion wine that he filled from the cask, then hesitantly left them alone. Yuhai grabbed the bottle and eagerly poured both him and Hayate a cup. This was his chance! Finally, he could taste the alcohol that Mondstadt was known for, and no drinking age laws could stop him!

With a mischievous smile, Yuhai offered one of the cups, filled to the brim with dandelion wine, to Hayate, “You ready for this?”

Grabbing it from the other’s hand, Hayate nodded solemnly at his rival. “I’m more ready than a fish to the chopping board.” Which wasn’t all that ready in actuality, but it was a saying, and he was sticking to it. 

Taking a breath, he chugged the overfilled cup, spilling some of the pale amber wine on his fake gold-embroidered collar in his rashness. Slamming the cup onto the table, he let out a loud exhale and grinned—an expression that would’ve rarely been on his face in normal circumstances. 

“Aye, that’s a right good wine, it be! Fill ‘er up, laddie!” He pointed abruptly at Yuhai, all cultured formality and decorum gone.

“So this is the true you,” Yuhai chuckled, “I like it.”

Yuhai likewise shotgunned his cup of wine. The sharp spike of alcohol hit Yuhai’s tongue like fire, but the dandelion flavor was in the backdrop, sweet and decadent. It was awesome, although Yuhai wondered if he was going to be able to drink as much as Hayate considering how strong the wine felt to him. 

Yuhai likewise slammed his cup down on the table and shook his head to clear away the sparkling feeling. 

“This really is some good wine!” Yuhai exclaimed a slight bit loudly. With just a slight bit of uncertainty, Yuhai poured the two of them another cup, and raised his, “Bottoms up!”

“Good lad!” Lifting the cup up and at the same time, lifting his foot up to place it indelicately on the table, Hayate shaded his eyes at the near-night sky. The constellations would be bright tonight; he could almost hear the sirens singing to their future victories. “To the ships we’ll sail and the stars we’ll map! To treasure and beyond, boys!” 

That short speech finished, he brought the cup to his lips and drank again, emptying the vessel of its wine. “We’re drinking liquid gold; thank the Sevens.”

Yuhai started when Hayate planted his foot on the table, but the single cup of wine was enough to make Yuhai not give a shit about anything anymore. So instead he just matched Hayate’s energy with an aggressive challenge, “Looks like we’ve got a full on pirate here. Hope you’ve got a stomach for alcohol matching that of one!”

With that, Yuhai let the alcohol flow down his throat once more. Sharp, burning wine. Sweet, tantalizing dandelion notes. It wasn’t as good as the first cup, but it was still pretty good. 

Yuhai let loose a rambunctious laugh, and when he spoke, he had already began to slur his words, “Le’s drink ‘til the nigh’s over, shall we?”

“‘Til the stars are sleeping in their beds!”Hayate agreed.

With that, Yuhai poured the two of them another cup, but this time around, he had to use both hands to do it. One hand to pour, the other to keep the first hand steady so that the wine didn’t spill from the brim of the cup. 

Hayate made to smack his back with a palm. “Jus’ let it spill like a good sailor would, laddie!” 

Hopping off the table, he struck a barrel on the side with a loud thunk for emphasis. It tilted over and crashed to the cobblestones below. Hayate let out a raucous chortle, grabbing the cup and taking a swig that landed all the liquor in his mouth in a flawless arc—somehow his aim had gotten more accurate as he’d gotten more drunk. 

“Look ‘ere, kiddo.” The anemo-user patted the fallen barrel. “Real seafarers drink straight from the barrel.”

Grasping the cask with one arm, he let out a grunt. The wine-filled object barely moved a foot-length. He really hadn’t been training his arms as much as he’d used to back on the islan—island? What island? There was no island, he lived on the seas! Letting out a roar, he picked it up with both arms and savagely pulled the tap out with his teeth. Pain burst in his front teeth and he almost whimpered—except sailors don’t whimper! 

Clear alcohol poured out of the jagged hole he’d made and spilled into his aching mouth. Hayate ignored the throbbing and yelled something that sounded approximately like “do this”—if “do this” happened to be spliced by a drunk linguist who didn’t speak the common language.

“I dun’ understan a thing yur saying,” Yuhai said, “But that’s fucking metal!”

Not to be outdone, Yuhai lifted the bottle and drank straight from it. A bit of wine dribbled from the corner of his mouth down to his chin, but at the stage that the two of them were at, Yuhai was beyond caring. He also barely tasted the burn of the alcohol anymore. Nor did he taste the dandelion flavor.

With the bottle finished, Yuhai chucked it at the ground, where it shattered into a dozen pieces. Unfortunately, he threw a bit too close to himself and ended up slicing his shin with broken glass. Not that he cared.

Yuhai took a look at the two cups of wine that they were about to abandon. Without thinking, he grabbed one and splashed the contents of it onto Hayate, and with the other one, dumped it on his own head. It was particularly wasteful. 

“Alrgiht, I guess othis isnf't ehugn, o is it?” Yuhai slurred his words. He unsteadily made his way over to one of the casks, somehow managed to climb on top of it, and slammed his foot into it, creating a gaping crater. He then went on his knees to stuff his face into the cask itself, drinking directly from the barrel. There was no doubt about it, Yuhai was much more drunk than Hayate, but Yuhai was still determined to not fall before Hayate did. 

“Don’t ya feel the salt water in your hair?” Hayate blinked drops of wine out of his eyes, dropping the barrel. “We’re going overboard, boys! Ready yer planks! We’ll be swimming to the near-near-nearest i-island!” His brain blared sirens at him. He ignored it. What was wrong with islands? Nothing! Unless they hid no chests o’ jewels, that is. 

Seizing the hydro-user by the lapels and snatching up the half-empty cask, he pushed himself up with a rush of wind and threw himself at the nearest tree. Yuhai coughed and lifted his head to breathe after drinking so much alcohol, and he came up for air at just the right time to see Hayate attack him.

“Gerroff me!” Yuhai shouted as he felt himself be lifted into the air. In an act of desperation, Yuhai channeled his hydro energy, and let it all loose through the cask. The dandelion wine smashed through the hole in the cask to spray Hayate in the face, and from the sheer pressure of the wine stream, also sprayed Yuhai in the face. It did absolutely nothing to stop their trajectory, and with a crash, the three of them smashed into the tree, apples falling on top of their drunk heads, and wine drenching their clothes. 

“What oaws that vfor?” Yuhai exclaimed with a laugh, “Rneevge for umy prank?”

Yuhai took a bite of an apple and spat it out. His taste buds were fucked. Stupid dandelion wine. If not for the amazing feeling of weightlessness of the drunkenness that made Yuhai feel like he was on Celestia, he would have cursed the dandelion wine more. Man, he should get drunk more often!

“Don'st tesll mhe you're giyving up? eI lthought you were nyearly undefeaedt!” Yuhai summoned his whip and latched it onto one of the remaining casks. With a snap of the wrist, the cask went flying towards the two of them, “Keep drvinking!”

“Argh! The Oceanid’s here, crew!” Hayate’s eyes widened comically, arms waving at invisible crewmates.

Yuhai definitely wasn’t thinking properly, because he had sent the cask barreling to crash directly into both of them at a dangerously high speed. 

Speedly ducking under a large branch, Hayate started lobbing apples at the exceedingly full barrel of wine. A few too many breezes speeding the apples up and suddenly, the planks holding the container together cracked and wine mixed with wood chips exploded in the two’s faces. “Me eyes! Avenge yer captain, lads! Ye can’t let this go!”

“Fack!” Yuhai shouted as a stray plank of wood smacked him directly in the face, sending him reeling. Somehow, despite the hit to the head and the unusual amounts of alcohol that he both drank and soaked himself with, he still was on his feet. He swayed unsteadily as he surveyed the mess, “How arle we gonna udo ouzr little''  hic “competition now?”

Two barrels of wine smashed and broken into pieces with the contents soaking the two of them. Another with a giant hole on its side and rapidly losing alcohol. They had burst through all the wine that they were going to use to settle their disagreement. But there was still wine in a puddle on the ground, so Yuhai leaned down and using his hands scooped some of it to his mouth. But immediately he lurched away and spat it out. 

“Pah! Pah! Thevre's dirot in theetr!” Yuhai reeled in disgust and crashed body first into the tree. Yet despite this impact, he still didn’t fall. It was only when an apple fell from the top of the tree and went bonk! on his head did he collapse and fold face first onto the ground. It would seem that the victor was Hayate, as he was the only one capable of drinking wine at that time.

“Laddie! No, don’t die yet!” Dropping to his knees, the anemo-user tried to frantically perform resuscitation on the collapsed Yuhai. His crew members were dropping like flies under the Oceanid’s blasts, and a helpless feeling washed over him—he could do nothing to stop it. After the resuscitation failed, he slapped the would-be sailor in the face a couple times. “... I’ve failed you, laddie.”

Hayate then stood up and strode firmly towards the base of the apple tree. Staring at it with the face of a man walking to his death, he pulled his head back and bashed it into the trunk—hard. Slumping down from the force, he missed the far away rooster crow that marked the end of the night. 

A few seconds later, a desolate wail resonated through the trellises. “My casks! The tree!”

←✣→

The sun had begun to dip from its overhead position, informing the occupants of the world that afternoon had come. Throughout the day, the maids, visitors, and workers of Dawn Winery had simply viewed the two passed out foreigners, the broken casks, and the slightly bent tree like an ink stain on paper— something to ignore. 

Finally though, Yuhai groggily opened his eyes, and immediately closed them, hoping that he could return to sleep. His head was pounding like it was continuously struck with thunder, not to mention the pulsating bruises. He felt absolutely sick to his stomach. 

“Damn, what happened?” Yuhai wondered. All that he distinctly remembered was agreeing to a drink-off challenge with Hayate. But after that, everything was a blur. He remembered tidbits of things, like how Hayate acted like a drunken sailor. But for the life of him, he couldn’t remember who won the competition. 

Yuhai rolled over and painfully got to his feet. Trying to get up just made the thundering headache a hundred times worse. Across the apple tree was Hayate, who was still somewhat asleep. He stumbled over to the white-haired anemo user and shook his shoulder. “Hey, Hayate, you doing okay there?”

Blinking blearily at the blinding sun and wondering where the throbbing in his forehead came from, Hayate winced as Yuhai shook him. What—where—why? “Ow.” Pushing away from the other youth, he groaned. “Don’t do that.”

Narrowing his eyes against the brightness, he noticed the other’s state of dress and felt a sinking feeling in his stomach.  Stumbling to a half-standing position, the anemo-user did a sweep of the vicinity and let out a strangled noise from the back of his throat. “Oh, jellyfish’s arse. What did we do?!”

Covering his face as if that would cleanse his mind of the horrid image in front of him, he mumbled as if a matra, “Edrich will kill me. I will die. That nice bamboo coffin is on sale at Wangsheng. I think I have enough savings left—”

“Oh come on, it was all in good fun! No need to be such a downer!” Yuhai did his best to exclaim. He realized that if he spoke too loudly the headache just got worse, “And if we don’t want Edrich knowing, we wash our clothes in Cider Lake, eat some toast, avoid him, and pretend nothing’s wrong.”

“Yes. Yes, of course, we can trick him.” Hayate started moving his hands to smooth out his wrinkled clothing in his agitation. 

He’d rarely ever lied in his relatively not-short lifetime and every time he did, it would fail spectacularly—bare-handed fighting a whale spectacularly or jumping off a cliff with a boulder spectacularly. Even his truth avoidance was suspicious to anyone who bothered to care, and… for all of Edrich’s questionable habits, he did care. He hoped. Or maybe not. He didn’t want to die just yet. 

Yuhai realized a bit belatedly the meaning of what Hayate said. 

“Wait, you don’t remember what happened?” Yuhai asked. He weakly raised his fist and punched the apple tree, “Damn it! Now how will we know who won?”

“I’m fairly certain I did, but since we have no proof,” the anemo-user paused for a moment, “let’s call it a tie.” He reluctantly held up a hand for Yuhai to shake.

The thief laughed, “Yeah, knowing me, I don’t think I won.”

He reached out to grasp Hayate’s hand, “We’re all good, right? Still pals?”

Hayate gave him an exasperated look. “As long as none of this reaches Edrich, we’re still ‘pals’.” He took a breath. “Now we forget this ever happened, recompense the winery and… go back. I don’t think you can do much today with that hangover, and I don’t trust you to go back alone.”

He didn’t wait for an answer as he started walking towards the manor house. Yuhai squinted at Hayate’s receding figure, and he softly laughed. They were truly quite a dum bum duo, and this was definitely not the last of their antics.

“Come on!” A call travelled on the wind. “What are you waiting for?”