Introductions are key. When I write, which I do often, I spend more time on the beginning of a piece than any other portion. It's necessary. If I don't have my reader's attention from the first paragraph, when will I get it? Likewise, if they start with a sour taste in their mouths, it will be hard for them to shake it.
Start strong. Then, you'll have a foundation to build upon. Start weak...and the whole essay falls apart.
OK, so here's the formula. To do this successfully, all introductions should answer the following questions for your reader (in this order):
1. Why am I reading this?
2. What is this about?
3. What do you want me to do/think about it?
Let's break these down.
1. Why am I reading this? 1-3 sentences (Hook)
NOTE: You are not asking yourself these questions. I cringe when I see students misunderstanding this prompt and starting their essays like: I read this book because... or I am reading this essay because... FIRST, avoid 1st person (I) unless told specifically to use it. SECOND, this question is directed toward your reader/audience, not you.
This portion of your introduction should typically last 1-3 sentences.
When you pick something up to read, or flip through channels to try and find a show to watch, you want to be compelled. Give me a reason to keep reading or watching, and I will. Otherwise, I'm out. As the writer of your essay, this responsibility falls on you. How are you going to get your reader's attention? There are lots of options out there. If you googled "essay attention getters", you'd get a pretty good sized list. HOWEVER, some of these fall into the grammatically incorrect category and should be avoided, or only used with experience. I recommend the following:
1. QUOTE: Setting the tone for an essay with a quote works well, and is probably the easiest to master. If you're writing about a book, try to find a quote that fits into the aspect you're addressing in your paper. If this is a research paper, find a relevant and interesting quote by someone recognizable that really ties into your topic.
During my undergraduate, I wrote a bamazillion papers on education. I recall one of my introductions starting something like this:
Aristotle once said, "Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all" (Aristotle). Passionate teaching embraces this idea....etc.
When you're using a quote, however, it has to flow. The quote cannot stand alone as an isolated piece. It is part of your introduction. If the next sentence doesn't pick up where the quote left off, it's not being used right. If the quote really has no bearing on the content of the essay, it's not being used right.
2. STARTLE: Shock us. Try and think of a startling statistic or statement and shake your reader off their seat a bit. HOWEVER, keep it relevant. For example, I could only say something like "One in five Americans have a koala secretly living in their basements" if 1- this is true and 2- I am writing about koala's or American secrets.
3. PAINT: Description is awesome. Paint a picture for your reader and then go from there. Pull them into your topic by placing them in your topic. I remember being assigned a 15 page research paper on ice. It was, by far, the most boring piece I have ever written. To start it off, I tried to spice the introduction with some real life imagery. I used this:
The brisk air rushed over his face as he opened the outside door of his old soviet apartment building. It was 5 am on a cold January morning, though it could easily still pass as evening, and that meant it was time for his daily run. His blood began to pump with anticipation and every muscle in his body ached to be pulled, pushed, and stretched to their limit. This was their time—nothing would get in their way. After performing a few more stretches and saying a short prayer of thanks and dedication to his Lord, the young man launched over the two steps that separated the door behind him from the rest of the city, his customary entrance to his just barely diurnal adventures. Flying through the air, he felt magical, as if his life was taken straight from the pages of George MacDonald or Isaac Asimov. The wind rushed across his face, as the cold air condensed upon his warm cheeks. The utter silence and stillness of this moment was surreal, beautiful. Then, he landed. His leading foot had just made contact with the ground beneath him when his newly purchased, knock-off running shoes became an amateur pair of ice-skates. He slid briefly upon one foot, the former grace of the moment lost as he waddled like a new-born calf on fresh legs. The fall was quick and painful, leaving a distinct impression upon the lower portions of his body. He knew he should jump up and run it off, but the smooth, slick surface below him discouraged many attempts. Ice was the victor, for the moment.
NOW, keep in mind that unless your paper is very long this is way too much for an introductory description. For papers below 10 pages, try and limit your descriptions to no more than 3-4 lines. For example:
Cracks in the stone walls offered the only light to the cold, damp room. Food had not been provided for days. The forgotten soldiers laid still and crumbling like ruined monuments to what they once were.
Just for fun, I ended my ice essay like this:
On the ground, motionless, the fallen athlete gazed upon the scarcely visible morning sky. His first attempt to stand had resulted in yet another fall. The throbbing in his head, the newly afflicted victim, urged him to remain still on the cool surface before braving another attempt at stability. Soon his slippery assailant was joined by friends--as cold, hard pellets pierced the runner's open eyes like tiny darts emerging without warning from some distant fog. He had no choice. He had to stand. Slowly, he came to his feet, assessed his surroundings, and began to jog. Like a foolish and defeated foe running into the camp of his enemy, he trekked through their frozen darts and across their strategically placed surfaces. One hour later, bruised and mistreated, he returned home. Ice may have been the victor, but he did not go easily.
2. What is this about? 2-4 sentences (Explain)
This section will usually be the largest portion of your introduction. It should last between 2-4 sentences.
You've got their attention, don't lose it. Seldom does a reader of exposition want to wade through troves of meaningless information before coming to the actual point of the essay (HENCE my above example being described as too long :D). Once you've pulled your audience in, don't leave them hanging. What will your essay be about? Cut to the chase.
Consider the introduction of my mock-essay on Spider-man:
With great power comes great responsibility. Most recognize this phrase as an allusion to Marvel’s popular super hero Spider-man. Since his first appearance in 1962, Stan Lee’s hero has experienced decades of nearly unshaken attention (“Spider-man”). This outcast, teenaged intellectual turned spider-powered champion has spun his web into homes and around hearts. Though this impact can be traced world-wide, the bulk of his influence is found in the United States. This widespread acceptance is linked to his appeal to American idealism. Spider-man has been established as a quintessential American hero because he is a humorous and flawed underdog who finds success.
I start with a quote (uncredited because it is not exclusive to Marvel). Then, immediately (and for the next four sentences) I explain what I will be talking about.
Avoid the following traps:
1. NEVER SAY IN THIS ESSAY I WILL or THIS ESSAY WILL- Refering to your essay in your essay is in bad taste. It also seems painfully redundant. If I'm reading your essay, do I need to be told that something is going to happen...in your essay. Where else is it going to happen? Just say what you're going to say; you're reader realizes the context :D.
2. DON'T GIVE EVERYTHING AWAY- I'll touch on this again when we address thesis statements, but when you're writing your what is this about section keep the following question in mind: What does your reader need to know to understand the points you will be making? Never summarize your entire essay in your introduction. If you give me a sentence summary of your three main points in your introduction (something reasonable for conclusions), I no longer have any incentive to read your paper. Keep it short. Keep it relevant. (SIDE NOTE: In the context of an essay written about a book, keep in mind that all books can be summarized in 1-3 sentences. Your reader doesn't need to know everything that happened by the time they're done with the introduction. They only need to understand whatever information is relevant to the points you're making.)
3. What do you want me to do/think about it? 1 sentence (Direct)
This final question should be answered in one sentence-- your Thesis Statement! There are exceptions to this one sentence rule, but in high school level writing, or even most undergraduate writing, these exception should not occur because the pieces are simply too short to justify more than a one sentence thesis.
A thesis statement tells your reader what you want them to think or feel about your topic. It is the forecast for your essay--just an outline or a quick glimpse at what's to come. As such, it should include three things: 1. Your topic--what your essay is about 2. Your perception--the direction you're taking us/what you think about your topic. 3. Your rationale--why you feel this way/why we should.
There are a million ways to write a thesis, but if you're new to writing exposition, I feel templates are helpful. So, I'll start with a basic template (if you're writing at the collegiate level, you'll want to consider the later options).
Let's assume you're writing a essay that has three main points being made (that's pretty standard). Though you don't have to state those three points directly, it is helpful. Here are two templates you could use.
1- TOPIC is DESCRIPTION (your perception) because REASON 1, REASON 2, and REASON 3.
Spider-man is an American hero because he is humorous, flawed, and triumphant. (Notice that my reasons are parallel!)
2- While TOPIC is DESCRIPTION because of REASON 1, it is DESCRIPTION because of REASON 2, and REASON 3. (or switch the number of reasons around)
While Huckleberry Finn is a hard to understand because of multiple dialects, it is a well written example of regional literature because of the clear Mississippi river culture and balanced perspective on slavery.
No matter what, keep these thoughts in mind when drafting a thesis:
What a thesis is not…
NOT AN ANNOUNCEMENT:
Never use first person (unless told otherwise). Never make "This essay is about" statements.
BAD: The topic of this essay is Spider-man--or-- I will be telling you about Spider-man.
GOOD: Spider-man's story overcomes obstacles, touches hearts, and engages minds.
NOT COMMON KNOWLEDGE:
If your thesis is something that everyone will agree with, why are you writing the paper? Who are you trying to convince? Even research papers have an element of persuasion. You are informing your audience of something they might not fully understand.
BAD: The sky is blue.
GOOD: Though commonly accepted, the sky is not actually blue. OR The protestant reformation impacted the faith, education, and political philosophies of early American settlers.
NOT EVERYTHING YOU WILL SAY:
Do not go into everything you will say in the essay. This ruins it for your reader....and basically gives them an excuse not to read the paper.
BAD: Pizza is the best food because it has so many toppings to choose from: sausage, pepperoni, fruit, vegetables, or just cheese, nearly anything that can be bought in a grocery aisle; it is easy to make because, even though it can have many ingredients, it does not take long to put it together, once the dough is cooked, it is only a matter of adding the toppings and putting it into the oven; and it is so easy to eat, cut it and hold it in your hand, there is no reason to even have a plate if you don't want to. (OK- So there are many many many things wrong with this thesis...not least of which being that it has a terrible run-on... but I have seen these types of sentences used as thesis statements. DO NOT try to put everything into your thesis. It will fail.)
GOOD: Pizza is the best food because not only can it have many toppings, but it is quick to prepare and easy to eat.
What a thesis is…
IS PARALLEL:
One of my pet peeves is parallelism. Keep your thesis balanced. It shouldn't feel convoluted or floppy.
BAD- Post-it notes have useful functionality and are used in classrooms offices, and personal rooms, but lose their stickiness too quickly.
GOOD- While post-it notes sometimes lose their stickiness too quickly, their small size makes them functional and accessible for a wide range of people.
BETTER- Post-it notes are compact, practical, and accessible.
IS SPECIFIC:
Try to be as specific as possible (without providing too much detail, see above)
BAD- Pizza is very good.
GOOD-Pizza is a delicious meal because it is versatile, portable, and affordable.
IS A DIRECT ANSWER:
Essay are usually assigned. Those assignments are your prompts. In my ELA II course, I assign an Independent Reading Assignment every six weeks. This assignment asks that the student reflect on three points from his or her book that were either positive or negative elements (only one of which can be a plot-based reflection). Thus, the thesis would have to answer this question: What are the three elements that made this book good or bad?
BAD: This book was good.
GOOD: Though the story took too long to developed and the language was hard to understand, the main character was relatable and engaging.
RESOURCES FOR WRITING EFFECTIVE (non-listing) THESIS STATEMENTS:
1. Purdue OWL
2. UNC
4. Ashford University Thesis Generator (I'd only recommend this for getting your thoughts together, but it's a pretty neat tool.)
5. I also write a thesis statement reflection for each book I read on the "What's Mr. Upchurch Reading" page. Most of these are in list form because they were geared originally toward my ELA II class, but they are being modified as I go.
CLOSING THOUGHT:
Basically, that is how an introduction is written. Notice that an introduction is one paragraph, but I spent the better part of seven pages explaining how to write it. Yeah, it's that important.
Work Cited
Aristotle. "Aristotle Quotes." Thinkexist.com. ThinkExist, n.d. Web. 09 June 2015.
*Most of these examples and suggestions are my own, or some commonly used writing advice. If you stumbled upon this website by chance, please feel free to use this at your own discretion.