Call Me Mr Fix-It

Title: Call Me Mr. Fix-It.

Fandom: Supernatural.

Pairing: Sam/Gabriel. (With a smidge of Dean/Castiel)

Rating: R

Word count: 9858

Spoilers: 7x2.

Warnings: Some bad language.

Feedback: Yes please.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything even remotely related to Supernatural.

Beta:

mithrel . Thanks, dear!Notes: This was written for the Sabriel Everlasting Birthday Challenge. For

shi_mo . Have an awesome birthday!Summary: Prompt: "S7. God resurrects Gabriel to fight the Leviathans. S/G romance ensures." Which became a story where the leviathans are tentacle monsters, God's back at the wheel and Gabriel realizes in hindsight that being dead for real sucks big time. Picks up just after Castiel dragged his leviathan-y ass into that lake.

Link to this fic on Livejournal and on Dreamwidth and on AO3.

Dean, Bobby and Sam skidded to a halt by the edge of the reservoir, just as Castiel's head dipped under the surface. A few seconds later, his trenchcoat floated to the surface and was slowly pushed away by the ripples still emanating from the center. As they watched, something dark began to form in the clear water and they jumped back when suddenly a huge, black tentacle shot out of the water, followed by several others, all writhing and slithering, black goo oozing off the skin of the things.

“Holy crap,” Dean breathed and took a few steps back. Bobby and Sam followed his example, until they were up against the fence surrounding the water. They could have made a run for it, but as the tentacles rose higher and higher, apparently never stopping, they all froze in place. It was a horrific sight and yet impossible to look away from. Like a train wreck.

“H.P Lovecraft was right,” Bobby mumbled and shivered as cold water washed over his feet, the waves created by the leviathan sloshing the water much further than the edges of the pool. Shadows fell over them all as the tentacles towered over them and blocked out the sun, and the water seemed to get sucked into the ground when whatever was under the surface took more solid form.

Then, just as it seemed like some kind of body was finally going to appear at the end of the multiple arms, there was a blinding light above them, making the leviathan cringe away. They all stared as the light pulsed, and there was a repulsive gurgling roar from the monster when the light came closer. Then a soft, yet vaguely familiar voice sounded in their heads: “You should all close your eyes now.” Considering their previous experiences with angels, they didn't hesitate to follow the advice.

Even with their eyes closed, the pulsing light still made their eyeballs hurt and they turned away from it, covering their faces with arms and hands. The sounds behind them were deafening. Whatever was happening was clearly hurting the leviathan, and there were roars and screeches loud enough to make their ears hurt and their bones hum.

It seemed like forever until the noises died down with a final rattling shriek and wet sounding collapse, that made gooey mud spray all over their backs and seep into their shoes. It was quiet for a few long heartbeats before Dean finally lowered his arm from his face and carefully turned around. When there was nothing hurting his eyes, he finally opened them. At first, all he could see were spots but eventually his vision cleared enough to show him... nothing. The water was muddy brown and the ground was torn up around the edge of the lake. A lot of trees were pulled out of the ground but... no monster. No body or limbs or anything. Sam and Bobby also turned around and for a moment they all just looked around in wonder.

“What the hell just happened?” Dean asked, not really expecting an answer. So he jerked with surprise when a leering voice said: “I killed the sucker, that's what happened!”

In the blink of an eye the familiar form of the archangel Gabriel appeared in front of them, hands in his pockets and looking utterly unconcerned. Dean's jaw dropped before he managed to compose himself. “I feel like I keep repeating myself, but... weren't you dead?”

Gabriel smirked. “Imagine that. You're actually right for once! Yes, I was dead. And... well. Now I'm not!”

“How?” Bobby asked, ignoring how Dean was rapidly going red in the face.

“I really gotta hand it to you guys,” Gabriel said with a smirk, ignoring Bobby. “You somehow managed what nothing else in the universe could.”

“Which is?” Sam spoke up from where he was still clutching the woven fence.

Gabriel cast him a strange glance before continuing. “You derailed God's plan! You introduced the concept of free will to angels, and little Castiel took your teachings to an entirely new level.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Dean was already sounding annoyed, which was pretty much his standard setting around Gabriel.

“It means that Daddy left the house and the kids promised not to party. Then along came you guys! You somehow got the responsible son thrown in jail, the boring kids dancing on the tables and the nerdy one hopped up on acid!” Gabriel snickered. “He's currently puking his guts out up in Heaven, by the way, but he'll be fine eventually.”

Dean blinked. “Who- Cas?! He's okay?”

Gabriel nodded, for once looking almost kind. “No worries, Dean-o. He'll be up and about as soon as he's slept off the hangover.”

“Thank God,” Dean mumbled without thinking.

“I thought we were gonna come up with a new sayin'?” Bobby commented dryly.

Gabriel beamed and threw out his hands in a grand gesture. “Lucky for you mooks, you won't have to! It's with great pleasure that I can announce... Daddy's home.”

“God? God's back in Heaven?” Sam said, his voice hushed and awed.

“Back, and cleaning up a lot of messes,” Gabriel nodded.

Dean set his jaw and glared at Gabriel. “So why now? Why not earlier? I even prayed to the son of a bitch. You know, we could have used his help stopping the freakin' apocalypse!”

Gabriel's shoulders slumped and he sent Dean an incredulous look. “You truly don't get it, do you?”

“No, I don't,” Dean barked. “Enlighten me, would you?”

Just as Gabriel opened his mouth to respond there was a shift in the air, and he looked upwards. “Ah. Sorry kids, we're gonna have to postpone this little catching up session. I'm being called home for a bit. But you guys go back to Bobby's and I'll meet you there later. And if you could maybe not shoot me on sight, that would be excellent, thanks.”

With a final wink he blinked out of existence and they were alone on the muddy shore.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sam was deeply asleep in Bobby's guest room when Gabriel popped in again hours later. He appeared with a groan on Bobby's couch and Dean almost dropped his beer from surprise. “Ugh. Being the good son again is exhausting!” he announced by way of greeting.

“Would you rather be dead again?” Bobby grumbled, clearly unhappy, as he always was around unannounced company of the supernatural kind.

Gabriel glared. “No. Unlike certain people, I don't look gift horses in the mouth. Besides, you clowns are top notch entertainment compared to the snooze-fest in Heaven.”

Bobby and Dean exchanged glances while Gabriel snapped up a screamingly pink cocktail for himself, complete with umbrella and cherry on a stick. Dean grabbed fresh beers for the humans in the room and leaned on the desk, facing Gabriel.

“So,” Dean asked carefully. “God's back at the wheel, huh?”

“Yup,” said Gabriel, apparently unwilling to offer more details without prompting.

Dean clutched his beer with white knuckles, trying very hard not to snap at what was clearly a fully powered archangel, who also happened to have the backing of God himself for a change. Even if he also happened to be an annoying little fucker as usual.

“Why are you here?” he asked finally.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow in question. “You mean here as in Home- Moldy Home? Or Earth? Or the realm of the living? You'll have to be more specific.”

“All of those would be good to know, honestly.”

Sighing as if it was a great inconvenience to him, Gabriel drained the last of his drink and made the glass disappear with a flick of his hand.

“Well, let's get the big one out of the way first. I was brought back because of the leviathans. Or leviathan, really... or... it's complicated. Anyway, the short version is that Dad was a little short-sighted about them and only created one single way of killing them - i.e. me- should they ever get out of hand. Which they did, thanks to Castiel and indirectly you guys.”

“Hey -” Dean began, but Gabriel held up a hand to cut him off.

“Let me finish. You people have caused more havoc upstairs than we've seen since Lucifer decided to skip town and that is saying something!” Realizing that Dean was fuming, Gabriel hurried on. “Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm on your side in this! I haven't had this much fun in eons! The look on Zachariah's face alone was worth battling the calamari of doom for!”

“Wait, so Dickhead Numero Uno has also been brought back? Well that's just peachy!” Dean snarled.

Gabriel winced. “Yeah. The body count got a little too high, I guess. Dad's bringing all of the angels back.”

“But not a single human, I assume,” Dean said acidly. “It's not like anyone we cared about died for this whole mess or anything.”

Gabriel frowned at him. “I'd be pissed at you for saying that if I wasn't already aware of how little you actually know,” he said and ignored Dean's glare. “For your information, angels are created, not born. No new angels have been created since before this corner of the universe was even thought of. There are massive amounts of new humans being made every minute. You guys are a self running system. We angels aren't so lucky. So before you decide God is being unfair, just bear in mind that you guys got the long end of the stick to begin with.”

“I'm not sure I agree with that,” Dean grumbled. “But right now I'm more interested in the answers to my other two questions.”

“Actually, you have the answer to one of them, because the reason I'm on Earth is the same reason I was brought back to life. I'm the only one who can kill leviathans. No need to thank me,” he concluded with a smirk.

“Don't worry, we won't,” Bobby murmured, earning him a raspberry blown from Gabriel.

“Ingrates,” he sighed. “Now, as for the final question, I am here at Chéz Singer for sweet little Sammy.”

Dean was immediately on alert. “You're here for Sam?! In what way?”

Gabriel frowned. “Hold your horses, big boy. I'm not gonna hurt him. Quite the opposite in fact.”

“What?” Dean said blankly.

“Well, if you ever actually read the Bible, you might have noticed that Daddy is very big on self sacrifice. Sammy-boy jumping into the cage with Luci earned him some serious brownie points upstairs, so I've been given license to heal.” At Dean's confused gaping, Gabriel continued: “I'm gonna fix his noggin. Any other questions?”

“Lots!” Dean said hotly.

“Figures,” Gabriel grumbled.

“For one thing, you could pick up where you left off at the lake. Why now? Why did God wait until the world was in the crapper before he came back?”

For a moment, Gabriel was quiet, his face serious, which Dean was shocked to discover made him look weird. Apparently, even in Dean's mind Gabriel wasn't truly Gabriel unless he was being a prick. When he started talking again, his voice was low and soft, and for once Dean could easily imagine how anyone could take him seriously as a messenger of God.

“To answer your question, you really need the story of why He left in the first place.” Gabriel cast a grim glance at Dean. “First of all, the biggest lie the Bible ever told is that God is infallible. He truly isn't. And if there's one thing Daddy does not like, it is facing the really big fuck-ups He's made. The angels being at the top of that list.”

Dean froze with his beer half way to his face. “Wait... he regrets creating the angels? I thought he loved you guys!”

“He does. But like any parent, loving your kids doesn't mean you're blind to their defects.” Gabriel's voice was small and bitter. “We're essentially a flawed design. But we served our purpose at the time, and I suppose He was too sentimental to just wipe us off the slate when He realized his mistake.”

“I don't get it,” Dean said flatly. “I mean, most of you guys are total douchebags, but as a species you seem to be doing just fine.”

“Yeah well, being douchebags is the least of our worries,” Gabriel huffed and looked Dean firmly in the eye. “Angels don't have souls. We have grace. When we die, our grace gets absorbed back into the universe and God's creative powers. And that's it. No afterlife, no Heaven, no nothing. Everything we were, everything we knew – gone.”

Dean swallowed thickly and Gabriel continued.

“We can't have children. We can impregnate humans and create nephilim, but there are several really good reasons why this is a phenomenally bad idea. The ones in the Bible weren't destroyed for nothing.”

For a second, something wounded flashed across Gabriel's face and Dean suddenly wondered if any of those nephilim had been Gabriel's own. In spite of himself, he realized he was feeling sorry for Gabriel. Whatever else the archangel was or had been, he'd been through plenty of nightmares, and for once Dean could relate.

“But... can't God make more angels?” Bobby interjected.

Gabriel shrugged. “He can, but the core of the problem is that angels are high maintenance. We need God directly. To tell us what to do, to guide us and give us strength. Without our Father we wither away. He created us to be powerful and obedient, but essentially blank. Which was why he was so eager for humans to have choice. You guys were always meant to be able to fend for yourselves. But not the angels. For the longest time we were like puppets who needed God to pull our strings for every little twitch. But... then Lucifer grew a spine.”

Laughing without mirth, Gabriel let his head fall onto the backrest of the couch. “It's ironic, really. The same thing Lucifer was thrown into the cage for is what Daddy is trying to force out of the rest of us now.”

“What?!” Dean barked.

“Free. Will,” Gabriel said, clearly enunciating both words. “Dad made the mistake of assuming that we angels didn't even have the potential for independent thinking, like you humans. Lucifer made him aware of this blunder, and I greatly suspect that half of the reason why he was locked away was because Daddy was pissed He'd been called out on such a major fuck-up.”

“Wow. Your dad really is a dick.”

“But we still love him,” Gabriel sighed. “We can't not. But lucky for us, He loves us too. Enough to want the rest of us to at least explore the possibility of thinking for ourselves. Unluckily for us, He seemed to think the best way for us to develop free thinking was to take Himself out of the equation. As I'm sure you're aware, this produced mixed results.”

“No kidding,” Bobby said quietly and drained the rest of his beer.

“So...?” Dean trailed off and sent Gabriel a meaningful look.

“So... why is he back? Because the flip-side of the coin means that those with the ability to choose have the option of making some truly crappy choices. And some of the consequences were unacceptable to Dad. We dodged the bullet when you guys tossed Luci back in the cage, but there was only one way of stopping the leviathans from eating this marble raw, and for that He needed to come back and face the music. So He did.”

Dean stared into the air for a moment. “I don't even know what to say to that. It's just fucked up in so many ways.”

Gabriel pointed a stern finger at Dean. “You guys should just be happy that the Creator has a serious soft spot for your world. If he didn't, you all would have been wiped out ages ago.”

“Maybe we should consider going to church every now and then. Just in case,” Bobby shrugged.

Dean huffed, but Gabriel cut in: “Hey, don't knock it! Dad really likes gratitude. And it totally can't hurt.”

“Yeah well me and the Lord have never exactly been BFFs.”

“Ain't that the truth,” Gabriel snorted. “Anywho, I think that's enough chit-chat for now. If you'll excuse me, Doctor Sexy needs to make his rounds.” With that, Gabriel snapped his fingers and disappeared, and seconds later there was the subtle scrape of a chair from the guest room above them.

“I wish he would stop fucking with my favorite show,” Dean grumbled. Bobby smirked at him, but the smirk died instantly when Dean glared at him and said slowly: “Tori. Spelling.”

“I'll be in the yard,” Bobby murmured behind his beard and left Dean feeling marginally better.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sam jerked awake, his mind still full of fire, blood and pain. The cruel, smiling face of Lucifer's vessel faded away to be replaced by the form of the Archangel Gabriel, sitting on a rickety chair, his boots casually planted on the edge of the bed. His trademark smirk was in place, but there was a sadness to the eyes, which were trained on Sam's face.

“Have you been watching me sleep?”

“Just for a little while,” Gabriel said innocently.

Sam huffed and let his head fall back on his pillow. “That doesn't make it any less creepy.”

“At least I'm giving you the courtesy of being visible. I could so very easily ogle you undetected if I wanted to,” Gabriel said with a wink.

“Okay, the creepy factor just went up like fifty percent,” Sam shuddered. He then sat up and squinted at Gabriel. “Why are you here?”

Gabriel slumped in his chair in an exaggerated gesture of defeat. “Am I having deja vu? It can't be more than ten minutes since your blockheaded brother asked me the same question. Why is nobody ever just happy to see me?”

“Because you kill people?” Sam asked with amused disbelief.

“Only people who deserve it!”

“Yeah, well personally I think that your idea of which punishment fits the crime is kinda over the top.”

“It's the pagan influence,” Gabriel said vaguely. “Eye for an eye and all that.”

“Or maybe you're just a dick,” Sam said archly.

Gabriel shrugged. “Fair point. But that's all in the past now. Being back on Daddy's payroll means no more partying with the pagans.”

Sam was surprised to realize that Gabriel actually looked sad. Not that he couldn't understand Gabriel being upset about leaving his trickster lifestyle behind. It was more the fact that Gabriel was letting Sam see his emotions on his face. This was so unlike Gabriel that Sam was momentarily baffled. But since Gabriel seemed to be disinclined to continue the conversation, Sam eventually cleared his throat and snapped Gabriel out of whatever was going on in his head.

“If I say I'm happy to see you, will you tell me why you're here?”

“Only if it's true,” Gabriel smirked.

Sam sighed. “Right. Well, I can honestly say that I'm happy to see you're alive. Good enough for you?”

“Better than I expected,” Gabriel said warmly, once again throwing Sam for a loop with his apparent honesty. “Anyway, the short version is that I'm here to fix your head.”

“What?” Sam asked blankly.

Gabriel swung his feet off the bed and leaned closer. “Look, you did a really big thing taking the dive with Luci. You made the ultimate sacrifice, and contrary to what many people think, it ain't dying. So God has decided that a reward is in order. He has given me permission to do whatever it takes to glue your mind back together.”

When Sam still just looked at him blankly, Gabriel threw his hands up in the air and cried: “For just 19.95, the Good Lord will heeeeal ya!”

“Aw man,” Sam groaned and covered his eyes with one hand, shutting out the sight of Gabriel doing his very best television preacher impression.

“What, you'd rather have a candy-gram?” Gabriel snickered. “I can do that, no problem! For just five bucks extra we include cheesy poems to the tunes of the latest pop hits!”

“For the love of God, please stop!” Sam begged.

“Not until you cry uncle!” Gabriel countered breezily, before suddenly chewing his lip in thought. “Or aunt. These are times of equality after all.”

“Uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, I don't care, just can it for a second!”

Sam had forgotten how hard it usually was to get a straight answer out of Gabriel. Perhaps the few moments of honesty had frazzled him more than he'd thought. But somehow he was also relieved at seeing the trickster again. Gabriel might be a holy messenger of God, but in Sam's eyes that was more like his job. Being a trickster was who he was, if not by nature, then at least by choice. And that thought more than the silly jokes made Sam grin a little in spite of himself.

“If I can trick more smiles out of you like this, then I might just keep going for a while,” Gabriel said with a surprising amount of warmth. Sam put a hand out to stop any continuation.

“Look, you can tell all the jokes you want later, but could you just hold it in until I get this straight?”

Gabriel sighed as if it was a truly arduous task, but he still mimed zipping his lips shut. Sam took a moment to shut out the constant mumbling and whispering of Lucifer in the back of his head before wording his question.

“So... God sent you to heal me?”

Gabriel shrugged. “Well, not as much sent as I volunteered for the job. And since I was already here to take care of the squid business, it would save someone else the trip.”

“Why would you do that?” Sam asked incredulously.

“Are you kidding?” Gabriel frowned. “After all the time I spent messing with that head of yours, you think I'd let just anyone waltz in here and start digging through your grapefruit? Please. I do have some personal pride, thank you very much.”

“Yeah, because that scheme worked out so well,” Sam griped.

Gabriel fiddled with the zipper of his jacket, as if it were the most interesting thing in the room. “Uh, yeah. Not my best plan. But my heart was in the right place!”

Sam snorted. “Where, Canada?”

“Hey, don't knock Canada. They've got moose. Or... mooses. What's plural for moose anyway?”

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose, ignoring his budding headache. “Fine, I'll buy that you're doing this because you don't want someone else cleaning up your mess, but that still doesn't explain-”

“Hang on,” Gabriel said, suddenly serious. “My mess? I'll admit that my method was flawed, but my message was clear. I was trying to help you!”

“Oh, really,” Sam sneered, not really asking as much as stating.

“Yes, really!” Gabriel snapped. “All right, so maybe it took me a while to see your side of things, but even before I jumped on the suicide wagon of Team Free friggin' Will I only ever wanted the best for you guys!”

“Why?!” Sam asked, his voice rising with disbelief.

Gabriel jumped to his feet and darted in until he was almost nose to nose with Sam. “Because I know all too well what it's like to have a huge, unavoidable destiny hanging over your head. And at the time, I genuinely thought that the best I could do for you was to give you the resources to make it through to the other side in as few pieces as possible!”

Sam felt his eyes widen, and despite the fact that Gabriel was still in his short, unassuming vessel, he suddenly seemed to fill the entire room, his eyes swirling gold and his voice almost ringing through Sam's skull.

“You truly don't realize how special you are, you and your brother. You were literally made for your parts in this play. And yet, you tore up the script and walked away. By some amazing stroke of luck, you're both still alive and while I can't exactly say I went about it right, I still like to think I at least managed to help you get there.”

Blinking, Gabriel seemed to suddenly realize how close he was. He shook his head minutely and backed away to the foot of the bed, leaving Sam to his thoughts. It wasn't that he really blamed Gabriel for anything. It was just difficult being generous about things when he was constantly wondering what was real and what wasn't. In truth, Sam had forgiven Gabriel for the eternal Tuesday and the TV-Land adventure after he died for them. But even before then, Sam had known for a long time that Gabriel did want to help, in his own backwards way. What he'd never really understood was why.

He'd given up on that question after Gabriel died, but he suddenly found himself wanting badly to know. What would Sam matter to an archangel? Dean he could understand. The Righteous Man, warrior of Heaven and all that. But Sam was the abomination. The demon kid. Hell's poster boy.

“I'm still having trouble understanding your motives here,” he said honestly.

“Do I need to have any?” Gabriel asked quietly.

Sam slumped back against the headboard. “Yes, because in real life nothing is for free. There's always a catch.”

To Sam's surprise, Gabriel chuckled. “Oh, there's a catch, all right. And you're not gonna like it. But considering how your brain is currently melting, I think you'll find it's a price worth paying.”

That piece of information pushed the question of Gabriel's motivation to the back of Sam's mind at top speed. “I'd like to decide that for myself thanks. Tell me about it.”

Gabriel put his hands heavily on the footboard of the bed and fixed his liquid eyes on Sam's. “You have to understand, your entire conscious mind is falling apart. So to put you back together right, I'll have to go in there. Basically, you'll have to give me permission to go digging in your thoughts. You'll have no secrets from me. And since I've never actually done this before, I can't say exactly what effects it might have on us.”

“Us?”

“Yes, us,” Gabriel replied darkly. “It's not entirely risk free for me either. I'm going to have to devote an awful lot of my energy to this and it'll leave me vulnerable until I can power up again. And considering how deep I'll have to go to make sure it's all done right, I can't promise I won't end up leaving something behind.”

“Okay, that sounds vaguely disturbing. Leave what behind, exactly?”

“Maybe some of my grace or an imprint of some of my memories. It shouldn't affect your life at all afterwards.”

“But it could?”

Gabriel sighed. “Yes. But like I said, I'm pretty sure it'll be worth it, considering that if we do nothing, you'll be a drooling mess in a matter of months. Maybe weeks. It's actually a miracle you're still walking and talking.”

Sam knew Gabriel had a valid point, but that didn't change the fact that this whole situation made Sam wildly uncomfortable. He already knew he was going to accept the offer. He felt the truth of Gabriel's words, as every second more of his mind fractured to the sound of Lucifer's laughter and the rattle of meat hooks. But what really bugged him was that it came down to trust. He would have to trust Gabriel with his thoughts and dreams. And his secrets. He had plenty.

“I'd be lying if I said I was okay with all of this,” he said eventually.

Gabriel only smiled crookedly.

“I suppose confidentiality is too much to ask?” Sam said quietly, looking down.

There was silence for a moment, before Gabriel stepped closer and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Hey, Sammy? I'll let you in on a little secret. We angels might be dicks, but we keep our promises. So if it'll make you feel better about all of this, I'll promise to keep your secrets.”

Sam looked up, surprised. “Really?”

Gabriel nodded. “Can't promise I won't taunt you endlessly about it, but yeah.”

Rolling his eyes, Sam groaned. But despite Gabriel being his usual annoying self, that thought did make him feel better. So he finally nodded and said: “Okay, Doc. Do what you gotta do.”

Gabriel beamed and clapped his hands together. “Awesome! Now you just lie back and relax. This won't hurt a bit! I think...”

“What?!” Sam managed to squeak, before there were two fingers on his forehead and the world went dark.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

There was light. So much light. The brightness should have hurt Sam's eyes, but somehow it didn't. Weirdly, it hurt his heart more than his vision. The shine was so beautiful he could hardly bear it.

Lucifer.

The whisper floated through his mind and brought with it so much love and admiration that he wanted to curl up and cry. It was unlike any sort of emotion he'd ever experienced. And it felt like a spear through his heart when the light suddenly flickered, and then descended like a meteor through the darkness.

There were flashes of memory, changing from one to the other like someone channel surfing through Sam's mind. Dean. Dad. Jess. Hunting. Stanford. The Impala. Only every now and then there was a memory that wasn't his. Couldn't be his. Beings of pure light. Love so powerful he felt like he would burst from it and hurt so intense that it rivaled his time in the cage. So much pain.

Everything happened so fast Sam couldn't keep up. He just let himself ride along on the waves of feelings and images, while vaguely thinking that Anna had been wrong about angels being emotionless. At the tail end of that thought there was laughter, the voice familiar and yet so different. Like silver bells in moonlight. Sam had never been very poetic, but that's what it felt like in his head, completely unlike the razor blades of Lucifer's insane guffaws.

The pleasant laughter sounded again when the memories that flickered by featured a short janitor winking and making lewd jokes at Sam, or when Dr. Sexy morphed into a golden eyed trickster in a lab coat and tennis shoes. Weirdly, at those memories there was an extra layer that hadn't been there before, and Sam felt a little dizzy with how another impression of the scenes was superimposed over his own. He saw himself and realized he must be seeing the memories through Gabriel's eyes. And not only that, he was clearly able to feel what Gabriel had felt at the time. It was brief, but there was amusement, curiosity and awe. Actual awe. Sam watched through Gabriel's eyes how his and Dean's souls burned, how they lit up the room and made Gabriel's heart swell with hope he hadn't felt in eons. So much hope.

Hope for what exactly Sam wasn't sure, but as the images zoomed by he saw himself in so many new ways, and none of them were anything like what he saw in the mirror. In Gabriel's eyes Sam wasn't the dark, tainted, broken mess he felt like. He was vibrant, strong and beautiful. Worth saving.

The darkness descended upon him again to the sound of silvery bells and fluttering feathers.

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Dean waited for four hours before he couldn't stay away any longer. He went upstairs and knocked briefly before pushing open the door. He stopped in his tracks when he took in the room. Sam was sitting in bed, half upright, half slumped back onto the pillows. Gabriel was sitting astride his lap with both hands cradling Sam's head and their foreheads touching. It looked uncomfortably intimate to Dean and he cleared his throat awkwardly.

Gabriel took a deep breath and slowly pulled away from Sam, not letting go of his skull, but carefully rubbing his temples instead of holding it steady.

“Yes, Mr, Winchester, how can I help you?” Gabriel's tone was mocking, but his voice was thin, which worried Dean more than he cared to admit.

“Uh... everything okay?”

“Just peachy. But this is actually pretty difficult, so I would really appreciate to be left in peace until we're done.”

Considering that Gabriel was literally holding Sam's brain in his hands, Dean felt he couldn't really argue with that. Even though he wanted to. So very badly.

“Okay, fine. Just... any idea how long this might take?”

“No clue,” Gabriel replied shortly. Then he paused and cast a strange glance at Dean. “Although, actually, maybe you can help.”

Dean stepped closer. “Sure, anything.”

Gabriel looked like he was tempted to smirk, but stopped himself. “This is draining as fuck for both me and him, so I'm guessing we'll be hungry and tired by the end. I'll let you know when it's over.”

With that he turned away and let his forehead lean back in to touch Sam's. And either his breathing was really quiet or he stopped breathing all together. Dean was a little disturbed by it all, but hell, if Sammy was going to be okay, then Dean could be the fucking meal service, no problem.

“Right. I'll just... uh... right,” Dean muttered and closed the door behind him. Only later did he realize what Gabriel had said, and then spent a confused couple of minutes being simultaneously worried and grateful that Gabriel would spend enough energy on Sam that he would actually feel hunger and fatigue eventually. Bobby just grumbled “idjit” at him and sent him to the store for decent food.

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When Sam slowly regained consciousness, the first thing he noticed was a serious crick in his neck and a heavy weight on his lap. He forced his eyes open, only to blink them a couple of times in surprise. Gabriel was straddling Sam's thighs, but slumped forwards against his chest, snoring softly into his collarbone. Sam couldn't quite tell from that angle, but he greatly suspected there was some drooling involved as well.

For moment he just sat there, a little confused and very groggy. But then he finally started putting together the last few hours. Not that he'd been awake at the time, but he remembered the whole experience a lot more clearly than he'd expected. The feeling of Gabriel inside his head was still very vivid, and his chest felt tight from residual emotion. Whatever else this healing had been, it had certainly been deeply moving for both of them, and Sam found that he understood Gabriel on an entirely new level.

He'd already liked Gabriel to some degree, despite his outrageous behavior. Or maybe even partly because of it. But suddenly knowing how deeply Gabriel felt things was something of an eye-opener for Sam. He'd more or less jumped onto the wagon of thinking that all angels were heartless dicks, perhaps with the exception of Castiel, who at least seemed to gain some understanding for human emotions over time.

But now there was an entirely new Gabriel in his mind. Before, there had been a weird mash-up of Bible passages, church decorations and a lewdly charming janitor with a dash of asshole trickster on top. Someone to be tolerated at best and avoided at worst. But with this new mass of sense memory etched into Sam's brain, it was like Gabriel was a completely new entity. Someone who cared about things. About people. Someone ancient and holy. And yet... he'd never seemed more human.

“Someone get the number of that truck,” a groggy voice mumbled.

“What truck?” Sam asked stupidly, still not quite alert yet.

“The one that ran me over, numbnuts,” Gabriel grumbled, his face still mashed into Sam's t-shirt.

Sam couldn't help but snicker, feeling a little drunk from exhaustion and the sensation of his brain still being a little wobbly. “Sorry, man. It got me too.”

“Bastard. As soon as I'm juiced up again, I'm gonna feed that fucker his own headlights until they shine out of his ass,” Gabriel complained, the movements of his lips tickling Sam's collarbone.

Laughing even more from the colorful threat, Sam let his head fall back against the headboard. “I seem to recall you volunteered for this gig.”

“I was probably drunk at the time.” Gabriel finally disengaged his face from Sam's shirt, but immediately scrunched his eyes shut. “Ugh. I hate being low on power. How do you people stand these meatsuits? It's like all they ever do is bring you pain and inconvenience.”

“It's not like we have a choice,” Sam snorted. “But there are perks, you know.”

“Yeah, like what?” Gabriel whined, digging the heels of his hands into his eyeballs.

“Sex. Chocolate. Fiendishly good looks,” Sam mused.

“All right, wise ass, you win,” Gabriel grumbled, finally daring to open his eyes, if only the tiniest slits. “Damn, it's too bright in here. Screw this. I'm going back to sleep. It's been a couple of decades since my last nap and I was recently dead. I think I've earned a lie-in.”

Sam was taken aback when Gabriel simply leaned back in, rubbed his cheek lazily against Sam's chest a couple of times and settled down for sleep in exactly the same position he'd woken up in. His arms rested loosely around Sam's torso and he hadn't ever even taken his jacket or boots off.

“Uhm... Gabriel?” Sam asked cautiously.

“Mmhmm?”

“Are you - I mean... wouldn't you be more comfortable... I dunno... somewhere else?”

Gabriel snuggled in closer, clearly utterly indifferent to Sam's discomfort. “Nope. You're warm and this vessel absolutely sucks at retaining heat when I'm down on angel mojo.”

“Oh,” Sam replied vaguely, unsure of what to do with himself. He had to admit that he wasn't exactly uncomfortable as such, but the idea of snuggling up with the Archangel Gabriel for a nap was a little far out for him.

“Stop thinking so loudly, Sasquatch,” Gabriel murmured. “Don't forget, I've been in your brain.”

“Yeah, but -”

“You're making this shit complicated. I'm tired, you're tired. You like cuddling, I fucking adore cuddling. It's a win-win if you ask me.”

Sam couldn't really argue with that, his brain still fuzzy and his body heavy. He hesitated for a few moments before finally putting his arms awkwardly around Gabriel and settling down for sleep again.

“That's the ticket,” Gabriel sighed and Sam smiled to himself as he drifted off. This wasn't half bad.

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Sam reconsidered his opinion when he woke up hours later with an even worse crick in his neck and Dean yelling at them. Or, more accurately, at Gabriel.

“Seriously?! I've been pacing a goddamn groove in the living room floor for the last three hours, worrying that whatever you were up here doing would make Sam's head explode, and you couldn't at least let me know before heading off to snooze-ville?!”

“I didn't do it on purpose, jackass!” Gabriel shot back. “And don't act all high and mighty! I'm willing to bet my halo that you've also dozed off right after the money shot a couple of times!”

“Argh! For the sake of my sanity, please do not bring up sex while you're sitting on my little brother!”

“Fine!” Gabriel huffed. “It's not like I've got enough juice left right now to fix your head too.”

“Yeah, about that...” Dean trailed off, a calculating look in his eyes.

Gabriel pointed a stern finger at Dean. “Don't even think about it! Whatever prank you're stupid enough to try on me will be unleashed on you tenfold once I'm powered up again!”

“You never know, it might just be worth it.”

“Can it wait until after breakfast?” Sam grumbled, suddenly feeling like he hadn't eaten in days.

“More like dinner,” Dean informed him. “But okay, sure. I got sandwiches in the kitchen and Bobby's cooking... something. I'd stick with the sandwiches, though.”

“I heard that,” Bobby growled, coming through the door. “Everybody still alive up here?”

The promise of food had finally made Gabriel move off the bed and thereby Sam, who suddenly realized that his legs had probably been asleep for hours. They prickled and burned when he rubbed the feeling back into them. “Alive and... well... not kicking just yet.”

“But your head's screwed back on right?”

Dean looked like he'd swallowed his tongue and cast Sam a nervous glance. It was obvious, at least to Sam, that Dean had been afraid to ask. So, being who he was, Dean had instead opted for shouting at Gabriel. Bobby on the other hand liked to know the state of things right away. Not that he couldn't be delicate when required to be, but he wasn't about to coddle Sam either, and Sam appreciated his direct approach more than ever.

“Yeah. I feel like I could sleep for a few weeks, but yeah.”

Sam really did feel okay. There were no voices or visions and apart from feeling mildly scrambled in the brain, everything felt like it was where it should be. He could call up memories of his time in the cage, and while they were still horrifying and made his stomach clench, he could deal with them.

“You need to take it easy, though, kiddo,” Gabriel added. “Kick back for at least a week. No hunting, no research and no freakin' family drama!” The last part was directed at Dean who rolled his eyes, but still nodded.

“Oh, and uh... while we're all here,” Gabriel continued carefully, “I'll probably have to stick around for a while.”

“What, why?” Dean asked suspiciously.

“Well first of all, I'll need to check in on Sam a couple more times and make sure everything is all right upstairs. I patched up what was broken, but even the brain needs time to heal properly. And secondly, this was draining as hell, so I'll need at least a day or so before I can snap out of here. I suppose I could walk, but I was sort of hoping that fixing Sammy's marbles would buy me a couple of hours of hospitality at least.”

Bobby glared at him, but sighed. “Fine. But you'd better not break anything.”

“I promise, I'll be on my best behavior, sir!” Gabriel said, saluting with a flourish.

“Somehow that doesn't make me feel better,” Bobby mumbled before heading back down to the kitchen.

Dean stood awkwardly for a moment, just looking from Sam to Gabriel. He seemed to be having some sort of internal struggle and Sam could at least hazard a guess as to what might be on his mind. And apparently, so could Gabriel.

“Oh, for cryin' out loud, Dean, stop being so emo. I don't expect you to suddenly like me or even be nice to me over this. In fact, that'd be boring as fuck. So stop trying to decide whether to thank me or not, and show me where the damn food is.”

Snorting, Dean flipped Gabriel the bird and then headed down the stairs. But he did seem to have a lighter gait than when he arrived, so Sam didn't think it could have gone much better.

“You do know he's going to prank the shit out of you in the next twenty four hours, right?” Sam said with a smirk.

“Oh, I'm counting on it, Sammy boy!” Gabriel replied gleefully. “But for now, I could eat a horse!”

Sam froze by the bed, suddenly remembering something from his research on tricksters. “I thought you dated horses,” he snickered.

Gabriel hung his head and groaned. “Ugh, why do people always bring that up?!”

“Because it's funny as hell.”

“If you tell Dean about that, I'll tell him about the nipple clamps and the butter.”

Sam choked mid-laugh. “Jesus, Gabriel... you don't just blurt out stuff like that! Plus, he can just look up the horse thing!”

“Like he ever will on his own steam? Please.”

“Okay, fine,” Sam gritted out. “But for the record, I think we're both better off not blackmailing each other with this. Besides, you promised to keep my goddamn secrets.”

“Oh, the butter thing was a secret? Too bad. It was really fucking hot.”

Sam rolled his eyes and wondered what he'd done to deserve Gabriel knowing every single deviant thing he'd ever done. But he supposed that if Gabriel was going to bring anything ugly to the surface, Sam would really prefer it was his sexual adventures. Being labeled kinky he could live with. Being called a monster he would really rather not.

As it turned out, Gabriel wasn't exactly kidding about his appetite. He waited just long enough for Sam to declare he was full before promptly eating everything that was left, which amounted to at least ten sandwiches, every morsel of meat in Bobby's kitchen, including the entire questionable stew Bobby had made, and then he had the gall to ask for dessert. Bobby was torn between feeling annoyed at being pretty much eaten out of the house, or gratified that someone actually seemed to like his cooking. So when Gabriel promised to restock as soon as his mojo was back, Bobby dug out some ancient candy canes for him and let him dissolve them in mug after mug of bitter coffee with only a minimum of grumbling.

Sam watched it all from the sidelines, content just observing his brother bicker with an archangel, while enjoying the peace in his skull. He sat on the couch in the living room, idly thumbing through an old Reader's Digest he'd found in Bobby's clutter, while Gabriel puttered around, trying to look like he didn't very well know that Dean was setting him up for some kind of prank. When Dean finally did carry out his plan, Gabriel was actually taken by surprise. He'd been watching out for trip wires or elaborate traps all evening, so he was completely unprepared when Dean ambushed him on the stairs and poured a huge amount of itching powder down his collar.

The prank was classic, simple and succeeded in driving Gabriel absolutely crazy with discomfort. Dean laughed for about ten minutes, until Gabriel decided the itching was too much and promptly stripped naked right in front of them all. Bobby shouted some very colorful things when he found a naked angel using his bookcase as a back-scratcher. Dean looked like he was ready to crawl under a rock, and when Gabriel decided to complete the embarrassment of everybody present by offering a naked dance display that looked an awful lot like MC Hammer's “Can't Touch This” routine, Sam simply couldn't take it any longer. It started as a choked off snicker but within seconds he was howling with laughter, clutching his stomach and wiping his eyes.

Dean looked at him weirdly, but that only made it worse. Sam hiccuped and gasped, while Gabriel did an encore, and bowed with a flourish and a shit-eating grin. Dean glared at Gabriel, who only offered an innocent: “What?!” in return. Sam laughed and laughed, almost sliding off the couch, until Bobby decided that enough was enough. He sent Dean to the basement to look for something he most certainly didn't need very urgently, and told Gabriel sternly to stop behaving like a mental case. “And put some goddamn clothes on!” he hollered before slamming the door behind him and fleeing to the yard.

Gabriel stole a pair of Dean's sweatpants and a t-shirt, looking almost like a kid wearing them, since everything was at least two sizes too big for him. He plopped down on the couch next to Sam, who started chuckling all over again when Gabriel had to roll up the cuffs of the pants at least four times to avoid falling over. But eventually he did finally calm down and melted into the couch, feeling sore but immensely relaxed. Gabriel ignored any sort of personal space Sam might have had by planting his bare feet in Sam's lap and letting his arm hang off the side of the couch.

Sam was feeling so comfortable he truly didn't care for once. And in the middle of it all, he was suddenly overcome with gratitude. Both towards the God who'd finally answered all their prayers, and to Gabriel personally, just for being there when he could easily have sent someone else to fix what Lucifer broke.

“Thanks, man,” he said quietly. Gabriel just hummed and wiggled his toes against Sam's thigh. But Sam could see out of the corner of his eye how Gabriel's face relaxed around a pleased smile. For the first time in longer than Sam cared to remember, everything was good.

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Predictably, they fell asleep on the couch. Sam woke up before dawn to a quiet house and a lumpy blanket tossed over him, still sitting like he had been the night before. Sometime during the night, Gabriel had turned around and was now yet again snoring against Sam, cuddled up against his side under the blanket. Sam took a moment to consider how he felt about that and realized that he actually liked it. Quite apart from the current unusual circumstances, he was normally honest enough with himself to admit that he often longed for someone to be with. Not sex, necessarily. Sex you could find in any bar. No, what he truly missed, living on the road with only Dean for company, was the simple companionship of a long-term partner. He pretty much only had Jess to compare with, but she'd been a tough act to follow.

Sam had grown up with very few displays of affection, and even those were only given when emotions were running high for some reason. So it had come as something of a surprise to him when Jess had made a habit of casually touching him just because she'd felt like it. Sam had been utterly addicted to it from the start, and he had missed it horribly when he'd lost her. Gabriel was in no way comparable to Jess, apart from the fact that he seemed to relish physical contact as much as she did. Where her touches had been gentle and sweet, Gabriel's were exaggerated and occasionally uncomfortable, but Sam just could not help welcoming them.

He also admitted to himself, there in the pre-dawn darkness, that he actually liked Gabriel. Just for who he was. Their history was beyond complicated, but if nothing else, the past day or so had convinced Sam that Gabriel truly didn't mean them any harm. In fact, he was pretty sure that Gabriel would die for them yet again if he had to, and that thought made his stomach churn. He really didn't want Gabriel to die. He hadn't wanted it the first time, but even less now that he finally understood Gabriel better.

As if realizing that Sam was thinking about him, Gabriel suddenly stirred, but instead of moving away, he wriggled in closer. Sam's arm had been resting laxly across Gabriel's shoulders, and without really thinking about it, he wrapped it around Gabriel instead, hugging him close. Gabriel made a happy little noise and relaxed again, his own arms snaking smoothly around Sam's waist. Sam smiled to himself and enjoyed the contact. It was mildly strange to have Gabriel so close and so vulnerable, but Sam was also moved by how much Gabriel clearly trusted him. He was mildly shocked when it hit him that he trusted Gabriel too. With everything. Despite his mocking and his attitude problems, and all that he'd put Sam through, Sam trusted Gabriel.

Sam sat for a long time thinking, while sunrise slowly crept closer. And by the time the first rays of light beamed through the gap in the curtains, making Gabriel's hair shine gold, Sam was barely even surprised that he found it incredibly beautiful. Even when asleep and low on power, Gabriel's true nature still glowed through his unassuming vessel, as soon as you knew it was there. Even before Gabriel had left an impression of his true self inside Sam's mind, Sam had been able to look past the flesh in a lot of ways, but now, with the light of Gabriel's true form teasing his mind's eye, it was almost impossible for him not to see it.

Not that he'd seen Gabriel's true form, exactly, but he hadn't really needed to. The sense of Gabriel's entire being had been so strong that whatever Sam's eyes could have added to the image would have been inconsequential. And just like that, something clicked for Sam. The beautiful entity with the wonderful laughter in his head was actually the same person currently clinging to Sam like a burr. Logically, he'd been aware of it, of course, but somehow, he hadn't really been able to reconcile his memories of Gabriel as the Trickster and pagan demi-god with the ethereal creature who flowed through his mind the day before.

But suddenly it was all there, and Sam unconsciously hugged Gabriel closer, wanting to be nearer to that light again. Gabriel sniffed and blinked awake from the pressure, but he didn't move. He just rested his cheek against Sam's chest and breathed slowly.

“What's up, Sammy?” he asked carefully.

Sam couldn't really explain what was going through his head just then, so instead he wound his other arm around Gabriel as well, and pulled him into a full hug. Gabriel tightened his arms around Sam too and for a while they just sat there, clinging to each other. Unlike the last time they were so close, Gabriel was the warmer one, and he felt soft and pliant under Dean's well worn sleep clothes. Sam soaked up the feeling of another body so close to his and the urge to get even closer was only getting stronger.

However, Gabriel feeling so nice and uncharacteristically human against Sam brought something else to mind, which hadn't been something Sam could sense during the purely spiritual healing.

“Gabriel?” he asked softly.

“Yeah?”

“Your vessel... is the original owner still in there?”

Gabriel chuckled. “Nope. Hasn't been for centuries.”

“Good.”

There was silence for exactly thirty seconds before Gabriel huffed gently. “Okay. I'll bite. Why is that good?”

“Because then this won't feel half as skeevy.”

Gabriel managed a confused “What won't-” before Sam nudged Gabriel's head off his chest and captured his lips in a soft kiss. Sam pulled back, intending to give Gabriel a chance to decide what to do with Sam's wordless declaration, but Gabriel followed him and didn't let their lips separate for more than a couple of short seconds. He swung his knee over Sam's legs, straddling him again as he had earlier, and Sam sighed happily as the kiss deepened.

Sam felt lightheaded with it, and swallowed every little noise Gabriel made. He was apparently unable to keep quiet, even while his mouth was occupied, but Sam found he truly enjoyed that.

“How did I not know,” Gabriel whispered between kisses, “that you felt like this? I was in your damn brain...”

Sam just pulled Gabriel closer and buried his face in the soft skin of his neck. “You couldn't have known. I didn't even know until just now.”

“Oh,” Gabriel breathed into Sam's ear. “Better late than never, I suppose.” He then captured Sam's lips again and made it downright filthy with an eager tongue and scraping teeth. Sam couldn't decide where to put his hands, so in the end, he only managed to slide them vaguely up and down Gabriel's sides and back. Gabriel, for his part, seemed to have hands everywhere, and Sam snickered slightly when he realized that if Gabriel was getting his mojo back, it could actually be true.

“Aw, dudes, seriously!?” The indignant shout from the doorway made Sam jump, but Gabriel didn't let him break the kiss. Instead, he just held Sam close by his hair and flipped Dean off over his shoulder. There were a few muttered curses and a very distinct snarl of “friggin' angels” before Dean went to the kitchen and slammed the door behind him.

Only then did Gabriel let the kiss end, in favor of a burst of laughter. “Oh, fuck, that was hilarious!”

Sam let his head fall back on the couch. “I will never ever hear the end of this,” he whined.

Gabriel leaned in until they were nose to nose. “Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about that. See, I had a little chat with baby bro before I came here, and I have very good reason to suspect that Dean-o will be revising his opinion on friggin' angels very soon.”

“What... Cas is gonna come by?”

“Mmhmm,” Gabriel nodded smugly. “And if he listened to me at all, he'll be bringing a six-pack and an apple pie. Everything you'll need to woo Dean Winchester.”

“Woo? Seriously?!”

Gabriel shrugged. “Well, it was either that phrase or something lewd. And since he's your brother, I opted for the PG rated version.”

“Thank God.”

“Nope,” Gabriel smirked. “All me, baby.”

Sam snorted and then decided there had been enough talking. He shoved Gabriel sideways onto the couch and crawled on top of him, just in time for Bobby to enter the living room and start shouting. Gabriel whined loudly about cockblocking, Bobby roared about his couch, and Sam laughed and laughed.

End.