Title: Bump My Fender. (I'm SO sorry, Elvis...)
Fandom: Supernatural / Blues Brothers crossover. (I don't even...)
Pairing: Impala/Bluesmobile. (Yeah. I went there.)
Rating: PG. (What, you were expecting car porn? TOUGH!)
Word count: 1312
Spoilers: Lets say season 6, just to be ultra safe.
Warnings: Crack. Seriously.
Feedback: Sure, why the hell not.
Disclaimer: I don't own any cars, real or fictional.
Beta: I honestly can't think of anyone who deserves the horrible fate of betaing this...
Summary: Sentient cars meet. Yeah. Pretty much what it sounds like.
Notes: This is all tanamy's fault. You can all go ahead and blame her. I tried to chase her away with holy water and rock salt, but alas, no luck. She forced my hand! No, really!
Link to this fic on LJ and on DW. and on AO3.
The Impala was a loyal car. She had been so in all her time with the Winchesters and she would remain so until Dean could no longer patch her up, and rust would take her. Like any decent car she never asked for anything for herself. It just wasn't done. She would take any pounding or abuse, because she knew Dean would lovingly put her back together again. She savoured every moment of Dean's undivided attention and never doubted that he loved her.
So at first, when the curse hit her, she didn't even think to act on it. Why would she? She had everything she needed. Dean made sure she was always fixed right, given the best gas he could find on their travels and almost never let anyone else drive. Dean knew just how to push her pedals. Sam was always a little slow on the clutch and it annoyed her a lot. She was not exactly a delicate machine, but even her gears didn't appreciate unrefined shifts.
In fact she'd all but forgotten that she had been cursed in the first place until she met that other car. She wouldn't even have noticed it if it hadn't been incredibly rude with its persistent revying of its engine, as if daring her to race it. The Impala was not having it. Dean had somewhere to go and she was a good car, dammit. She wasn't about to run off on him, just because some run-down police car thought it would be fun to show off.
But somehow the strange car managed to leave a lasting impression as it rumbled at her in first one intersection, then another and then another as they drove in adjacent lanes through the city. Dean was busy talking to Sam about their latest hunt, so he didn't notice how the drivers in the car next to him shared looks of concern before shrugging over their vehicle's odd behavior. The Impala was in fact a little ashamed on the behalf of the beaten up Dodge Monaco. It was indecent, that's what.
So she settled for sticking up her bonnet at it and purring her engine smoothly, before letting Dean steer her around the corner and out of sight. There was a disappointed little honk from the Dodge, but it didn't follow her. Good riddance.
It wasn't until late that same night, when she was parked outside a motel on the outskirts of the city, that she even remembered it again. What an odd car. It wasn't even a 'she' like most other cars the Impala met. It was just an 'it'. So very odd. She found herself wondering where that car was parked at night. If it had good owners like she did or if its battered exterior was due to neglect.
She was so lost in her ponderings that she didn't realize at first that another car had entered the motel's parking lot. She almost shorted her battery from surprise when the very same Dodge Monaco rolled up beside her. It honked cheerfully in greeting and the Impala was so taken aback that she hardly even noticed how the black-clad drivers were arguing about supernatural car horns. They eventually got out and the Impala looked away politely when they opened up the Dodge's bonnet and argued some more, before they finally slammed it shut and crossed the parking lot to the motel.
The Dodge didn't seem the least bit embarrassed or even aware that it was being a poor excuse for a car. It flashed its lights at her and winked with its wipers until she was so mortified that she was quite ready to find herself another parking space as far away as possible. But perhaps the Dodge finally realized that it was coming on too strong, because it did eventually cool down and settled for a little companionable engine rumble now and again.
Half against her will, the Impala found herself a little softened by how the other car clearly was so desperate for company that it was willing to look completely ridiculous just to get a little attention. In a brief moment of charity, she winked her wipers at it, just once, but that was enough to set it off all over again with the honking, winking and rumbling.
She desperately shushed it, thanking some higher power that there were no other cars near them. She didn't think she could bear the shame. When the noise eventually made a few people peek out through windows at them, the Dodge finally calmed down and snickered. The nerve!
That car was going to ruin her otherwise spotless reputation and she slammed her passenger side door at it sourly before re-locking all her doors. Twice. The Dodge pouted for a while before finally offering an apology, which the Impala graciously accepted. She was not unforgiving, after all.
After that they just sort of hit it off. The Dodge told her how its owners (brothers, like the Winchesters) were on a very important mission (from God, no less!) and how they didn't really have time (or money) for decent repairs. But the Dodge assured her that everything vital was in perfect order, and that it was quite a capable car when it came right down to it.
The Impala then related how her own set of brothers were also on some sort of mission regarding God, but it was more like He was missing or something. She wasn't too clear on the details, but it had something to do with that strange man who could materialize inside her at will, which she was so not comfortable with. But Dean apparently liked him in a passive-aggressive sort of way, so she let it slide. For now.
The Dodge seemed to think this was hilarious and expressed envy at her interesting Human company. When she explained that she wasn't sure the materializing fellow was even Human at all, considering how he seemed to know God, the Dodge got a little uncomfortable and changed the subject.
Happily, it had many interesting stories to tell from its life as a police car and she gladly offered some of her own tales from her many hunts with the Winchesters. Hours passed, and before they knew it, the sun was rising on a new day. By coincidence, both sets of brothers headed for their cars simultaneously. The Dodge's owners in a somewhat more shifty manner, that made the Impala suspect that they were running from the bill. Not like her owners who were just up early for their job as hunters.
The Impala snickered to herself as the brothers in the black suits got in as if they half expected the Dodge to start honking again and it almost did so, just for the heck of it. Almost. Dean noticed the pair's behavior as he was unlocking the driver's side door and he smirked at them and said: ”Nice hats!” before getting in.
”Good morning, baby,” he mumbled at her before starting her up. She purred happily at him and was perfectly ready to get back on the road. But just as she was reversing out of her parking space, she realized that she would probably never see the strange Dodge ever again and for just a moment she let herself take advantage of her curse and honked loudly at it in parting. Dean stared at the steering wheel and Sam snickered. ”What did you do that for?”
”I didn't,” Dean insisted, but luckily, Sam didn't believe him and since the Impala was on her best behavior after that, he never investigated further. The Dodge made a rude bang with its exhaust as a farewell, just as she was leaving the parking lot and she smiled to herself as the road stretched out before her.
The End. (Thank God.)