A Fistful of Garaks

Title: A Fistful of Garaks.

Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Pairing: Garak/Bashir

Word count: 2086.

Rating: R.

Warnings: Mild mind-fuckery.

Beta:

tli whipped my wording into shape. Thank you, mistress!Feedback: Yes please.

Disclaimer: I don't own any Cardies or Doctors.

Summary: Garak is determined not to lose Julian over a little thing like dissimilar sex-drives.

Link to this fic on LJ or on DW or on AO3.

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This fic is also available as a podfic.

Read by: me.

Duration: 14:55 mins.

Download link.

***

A Fistful of Garaks.

Garak twiddled the holo-rod between his fingers, while waiting for Julian at Quark's. Tonight was to be the night that would define their future relationship and Garak felt uncharacteristically nervous. But he was determined to get it right. He would manage what no one else had ever done before. He would keep Julian. He would ensure that nobody else ever got to have the young man, as long as Garak drew breath.

He didn't care much if Julian had any plans for marriage or children. Garak had warned him when they took their friendship to the next level that it wasn't done lightly and that even the average Cardassian was intensely possessive of their partner. And Garak was anything but average.

So he had been prepared for the inevitable point in all of Julian's relationships where he would start to waver and eventually break it off. But Garak would not let him. He had spent months studying his doctor and analysing exactly what in his personality made it impossible for him to commit to a long term relationship.

To Garak's surprise it had turned out there was a physical aspect, one that was easily solved. To no surprise at all, the crux of the matter was Julian's ridiculous sense of morale and the unfathomable and completely pointless Human tendency to put massive amounts of guilt and shame onto themselves. They didn't even need their parents for that, although Julian's certainly didn't help matters any, so there was a double problem for Garak.

Plus, there was the added challenge of keeping the nature of the solution hidden from Quark. It had taken calling in a fair few favours and some substantial bribing to keep his Ferengi nose out of it. Not to mention some very crude and obvious threats to his life, which were never the less quite effective. That fact proved itself nicely when Julian stepped into Quark's and the owner gibbered and disappeared into a back room, earning him a puzzled look from the doctor before he turned to Garak's table with a subdued smile.

Garak responded with a similarly polite façade. He knew very well that Julian was already deeply buried under his own guilt from the break he had already decided was inevitable. But it would never happen. Not if Garak had anything to say about it. Which he always did.

“You've been lying to me, Doctor.”

Julian froze in the middle of sitting down and met Garak's calm look with huge, guilty eyes.

“Now, don't get all upset about it, my dear,” Garak continued smoothly. “After all, I lie to you all the time, so it seems only fair.”

Clearly unsure whether or not this was a good thing, Julian opened and closed his mouth a few times with no words emerging before sitting down heavily and sighing. “So you know, then.”

Garak smirked and turned over the holo-rod between his fingers a few times, letting Julian have a good long look at it before replying. “Why, Julian I thought you realised a long time ago that I know everything.”

“Please, Garak, this is no time for jokes,” Julian groaned.

Suddenly looking dangerous, Garak leaned forward and placed the rod firmly on the table in front of Julian. “Oh, believe me, I'm deadly serious. I know full well that you came here with the intention of breaking off our relationship and I think I'd better warn you now that I will not allow that to happen.”

Julian was clearly shocked at the unusual honesty from his mysterious partner and he had to swallow firmly a few times before he was able to respond. “You can't force me to stay with you.”

“And you can't allow your pointless sense of honor to force you away from me. Tell me honestly, Julian... are you happy when you are with me?”

Garak held his breath. This was one answer he needed an honest reply to. Or things could get ugly. If Julian lied to him now, this whole plan would need revising.

After what was a positively torturous pause, Julian finally said: “Yes.”

Leaning back, Garak smiled warmly and pointed to the holo-rod. “Then that is for you.”

Picking it up gingerly as if it would explode between his fingers, Julian raised an eyebrow, asking silently about the unexpected gift.

“Perhaps we should continue this discussion in the holo-suite. I have one reserved for us.” Getting up and leading the way, Garak didn't even look behind him to check if Julian would follow. He knew his Doctor. Nothing would be able to keep him away from a good mystery, especially one involving holo-suites. He really was very easy to guide. Thankfully, he was much more challenging to understand or Garak would have become bored with him very early on.

While Julian inserted the rod and locked the door behind them, Garak double checked that Quark had kept his promise and scanned the suite for surveillance equipment with his own personal devices. He was happy to find none.

Julian stepped up beside him and waited with poorly concealed curiosity, even as he was shaking with nerves. Good. Garak needed him on edge, or the message would never get through.

“Computer, begin program.”

With a whoosh, the lights were suddenly gone and apart from a shuffling sound, Julian was completely deprived of his senses for a few seconds.

“Garak?” his voice quivered in the dark, and a second later, the lights came back up, revealing a simple room that could be from anywhere. Non-descript furniture including a sofa arrangement, dining table with chairs and, in the corner, a huge, sturdy bed.

The biggest surprise, however, was Garak. Or rather, the Garaks - because there were five of him - all seated at the dining table, each complete with a glass of kanar, looking completely identical. Enhanced as he was, Julian still could not tell which one was real. The one closest to him spoke first. “Welcome to your end of the bargain, dear Julian.”

“Excuse me?”

The next Garak answered. “You see, when you decided to - shall we say - deepen our relationship, I warned you that it would not be easy and take some effort on both your part and mine.”

Puzzled, but his attention firmly fixed on the Cardassians at the table, Julian stepped warily closer. “Yes, I remember.”

Smoothly, the third Garak continued where the second left off. “Now, I think I have done my part to the best of my ability. I have kept you intrigued, mystified and challenged in every way I possibly can and I have worked hard to accept the areas where I simply cannot keep up.”

The fourth Garak took over. “I realise you never meant for me to know about your enhancements, but really, even after they were revealed you never embraced them.”

Saddened, Julian sat down on a soft chair facing the table, where all the Garaks were looking at him with intense, blue eyes. Avoiding the added effect of all those eyes, each pair every bit as intense as the real Garak's, Julian looked at the floor.

“How could I, Garak? It would only rub your nose in all the ways you would never be able to keep up.”

A weary sigh sounded and the final Garak got up and leaned over Julian, slumped in his cushions. “For someone so intelligent, you really are incredibly stupid.”

Snapping his head up to look at the speaker, Julian's eyes flared. “You must be my Garak. Only he thinks he can insult me like that with no consequence.”

Laughing, Garak knelt in front on the chair, keeping Julian caged in between his arms, holding onto the armrests on both sides. “Ah, but I can, my dear. Because I know you. Probably better than you know yourself. And if you would just think for one moment with that marvellous brain of yours, you would easily realise what I'm trying to do here.”

Trying hard not to look as nervous as he was, and failing, Julian finally asked: “Is it some elaborate way of showing me just how strong I am and that I need to slow down if you are going to be able to keep up with me?”

Frowning, Garak drew back a little. “No. No, no, no, you couldn't be more wrong. Try again. Think harder.”

Looking from one Garak to the next, Julian did as asked and was silent for a long time while considering. “No... it can't be that simple, can it?” he finally asked.

“Try me,” Garak prompted.

Blushing, Julian bit his lip in that adorable way that always made Garak a little angry with himself for how much it affected him. “It's... is it about... sex?”

Rolling his eyes, Garak huffed. “I suppose you could say that, if you must be so crude. But yes, that is a big part of it.”

Clearly agitated, Julian's hands fluttered about as he protested. “No! Absolutely not! I will not be intimate with any of these flimsy imitations, just to be satisfied in bed! It wouldn't be fair to either of us!”

“Oh, please, spare me the morality argument! Fair! Hah! How is it fair, then, to make us both unhappy by running and not even trying! Besides, how do you know that I'm not a copy? Prove which one is real, and I will let you leave this room without further argument.”

Julian's eyes darted from one Garak to the other, every single one of them looking at him with affronted and disappointed faces. Finally realising that he would never be able to find the real one, Julian slumped down again and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Fine. You win. What do you want?”

Cocking his head, Garak asked, puzzled: “What do I want?”

“Yes, I assume this is your idea of spicing up our sex life. Keep the fires burning or whatever.”

Suddenly truly angry, Garak grabbed Julian hard by the shoulders and snarled at him: “Don't you think for a moment that this is a game, my dear. I don't know about you, but for me, keeping you is a deadly serious matter. I have made it clear to you, in ways that are incredibly awkward and unusual for me, how much I care for you. You owe me the courtesy of not taking this lightly.”

Frightened, but focussed, Julian met the angry, blue eyes with the courage Garak so admired him for when he was pushed to his limits. “So what you're saying is that it's not about what you want, but what I want?”

Shaking him lightly, Garak plowed on, the snarl still evident in his voice. “No. About us. You need more than I can give you on a physical level and I'm asking you to let go of your ridiculous Federation guilt complex and accept what I can offer.”

Still uncomfortable with being so honest, Garak finally backed off and let Julian digest his words. He joined the other Garaks at the table and slowly got his temper under control again.

There was a long stretch of silence. Garak firmly kept himself from speculating and instead counted his heartbeats and controlled his breathing. When Julian finally spoke, however, no Obsidian Order training could keep him from shivering.

“I... uhm... I assume that you've made arrangements to keep Quark far away from this?”

“Naturally,” Garak huffed, as if it was ridiculous to even consider otherwise.

Another stretch of silence gave Garak the chance to covertly let out a breath he didn't even know he had been holding in. So close. He had been so close to losing his Doctor.

To his surprise, Julian then got slowly out of his chair and – there was no other word for it - prowled towards him, eventually seating himself on the table, in reaching distance of all the Garaks. Without looking at any of them, Julian asked the air: “Will you promise me that you will always be in the room? Somewhere?”

One Garak leaned in and whispered in his ear: “I promise.”

Another reached for Julian's hand and kissed along the knuckles while breathing “I promise.”

A third crawled onto the table behind him and mouthed into his hair: “I promise.”

Yet another pulled Julian towards him and nibbled his throat with a growled: “I promise.”

At the end of the table, one last Garak watched it all and mumbled: “I promise. With all my heart.”

End.