In Which There is Drunken Snogging and Plotting Girls

Title: In Which There Is Drunken Snogging and Plotting Girls.

Rating: Pg-13.

Word count: 728

Pairing: Merlin/Arthur

Summary: Modern day AU. Things happen when you get drunk.

Warnings: None I can think of.

Beta:

tli! Thank you, Darling!Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all and I certainly don't make any money from writing this.

Link to this fic on AO3.

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In Which There is Drunken Snogging and Girls Plotting.

“I... once had an affair with a married man.”

Arthur lifted his glass at Morgana and waggled his eyebrows. “Not bad, Sis! You were the other woman!”

Morgana scowled at him and mumbled: “Trust me, it wasn't very glamorous,” before draining her drink.

“Good God, I feel like such a prude. The worst thing I ever did was snog my cousin Donny at a funeral,” Gwen added, looking morosely at her half empty glass of some pink, fruity drink Merlin wouldn't know the name of even at gunpoint.

Arthur guffawed heartily and poured himself another beer. Merlin wasn't sure how many that brought Arthur to, but he knew it had hit double digits a while ago. He himself was still nursing his fifth lager and already feeling more loose than he was really comfortable with. He was startled out of his musings when Morgana nudged him with her elbow. “So, Merlin! What manner of bad behaviour could a sweetie like you ever manage?”

Merlin grumbled while Morgana and Arthur snickered and Gwen went quietly: “Aww!” at the end of the table.

“Come on, Merlin! There must be something!” Arthur bounced a little in his seat, as if he were an over-excited puppy waiting for a treat. Merlin gnawed his lip for a bit before answering.

“Well... I think I was once in a threesome.”

“You think?!” Arthur snickered.

Merlin scratched his nose and avoided eye contact. “Yes, well, that was before I knew my low tolerance for alcohol, so I don't remember much of it. But it was very awkward the next morning.”

Arthur leaned back in his chair with a dreamy expression. “Wow. Merlin and two birds. Who would have thought?”

“Uhm, no, it was me and another bloke sharing the bird,” Merlin clarified.

Arthur choked on the beer he had just gulped down and Gwen clapped him on the back while Morgana was busy gaping at Merlin. “You're joking! Aw, Merlin! That's so brave of you!”

“Why?” Merlin asked, confused.

Morgana wrapped an arm around Merlin's shoulders and squashed him against her. “Because! Merlin, daring to share a bed with another man suggests a wonderful sexual security! It's so mature of you!”

Meanwhile, Arthur had recovered and glared at Morgana. “Oh, really? Well then you should all be impressed to know that I did snog a mate once!”

“Is that all? Really, Arthur, is that the best you can do?” Morgana mocked.

“No!” Arthur snapped. “But I thought it was worth mentioning, since Merlin just outed himself as bi.”

“I did not!” Merlin protested.

Morgana ignored him and kept stabbing at Arthur. “So, brother dearest, what is the best you can do?”

Clearly frustrated with not being able to top Merlin's shocking revelation, Arthur set his beer down hard on the table and pointed an accusatory finger at Morgana. “Hey, just because we're not all blaringly gay, doesn't mean we're not mature, or whatever!”

“Hah! I hate to tell you this Arthur, but as far as I've seen, your maturity is a long way off!” Morgana crowed.

“IT IS NOT!” Arthur yelled, his voice breaking a little from the alcohol, bringing further insult to injury.

“Oh really?!” Morgana giggled. “All right then, prove it! Snog Merlin!”

“Hey!” Merlin squeaked. The others ignored him.

Arthur frowned. “Come on, Sis, don't be daft.”

Sitting back in her chair and casually stirring her drink, Morgana started making quiet clucking noises.

Turning an interesting shade of red, Arthur finally offered a high pitched: “FINE!” and started getting out of his chair.

Merlin held out his hands, but trying to stop Arthur when he was bowling forwards like that was like a mouse trying to stop an avalanche. “Hey, no, no, WAIT! Arth-!” Merlin's chair toppled over when Arthur stumbled into his lap, flung his arms around Merlin's shoulders and favoured him with what was certainly not the best kiss he'd ever had. But Merlin was drunk and once his head stopped pounding from hitting the floor, he decided to make the most of it, at least until Arthur passed out.

At the table above, money changed hands and Gwen was sour. “You cheat. You never said anything about getting them drunk.”

Morgana stuffed the ten pound note into her cleavage and smirked. “You never said I couldn't.”

End.