Back track entries part 2

Jason to Robert: Sat, Dec 4,

I am doing a lot better. Although I still feel like I'd feel better if I sat down and had myself a good old fashioned cry. Here is a journal entry I am working on about it all at the suggestion of our Teacher.

What I learned last night and the past few days:

**Using past lives as a tool in your current life**

Lessons Learned:

1) Feelings like words and experiences can be and are symbols

2) How to pick apart feelings and visions from past lives and apply them to unresolved issues and lessons for the current life

3) To not fear feelings

4) Longing, desire, love, are the flip side of Obsession, lust, objectification... and that it is ok to feel all the different aspects of intimacy if channeled into healthy loving relationships. That true love in all it's many many forms has no shame. It is ok and right to acknowledge past love and feelings.

5) There is no such thing as lost love only evolved love.

6) It's ok to cry

7) Feelings of loss and abandonment are better described as symptoms of fear. The inner turmoil these cause are often heavily influenced by past lives and past/present experiences. The way to get past these symptoms is through self empowerment and self love. Not that someone out there loves you or will be there for you, but that you are worthy of love. That you are worthy of eternal companionship, friendship, and love.

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I was working on a text file of questions I'd like to ask Spirits or tell those in Spirit if I had gone to another medium. Meaning ones I am too afraid to channel myself.....And that re-triggered things-- yesterday. It started triggering past life memories in vivid detail. I kept getting hit with wave after wave of emotions and at the time I didn't know what to do with them.

For example:

1) The memories of me as the woman and you with the beard and Erik as your son. Not just the intimate moments either. I relived holding and rocking Erik and the feel of him sleeping on my chest. I remember cooking for the both of you. Of serving you and kissing your head. I remember mending your clothes. It wasn't just the vision, the replay of events as a matter of fact. I relived it! In full color, full sound, full emotion and Physical sensations. I remember how you felt, my eyes on your eyes boring into your soul. And wave after wave of emotional and tactile sensations and love hitting me. I still feel dizzy just thinking about it. Lydia (my guide)says she remembers it being like that with you too. And over and over in my head while thinking about these events I heard in my head, "This is true romantic love in it's purest form. This is good. The baser emotions of love should be channeled into relationships like this." over and over in my head I also heard, "There is no shame in this bed".

2) The memory of you as the priest and me as the prostitute. I remember you coming through an alley covered in a dark concealing robe and cloak. I can remember the fear from you. Remembering how each week you paid the people who held me in bondage and secretly brought me little sweets and gifts. I remember how the guilt and shame weighted so heavy on you. I adored you! My own father sold me into this life and for me you were my protector. The father, the man, the lover who would rescue me. Rescue my body and soul all at once. You told me God was punishing you and that you were doomed. But that I could still be saved. I desperately wanted to believe you would perform a miracle for me, but I could see the fear and lie in your eyes. But I didn't care. I was so in love with you. When we were together I felt such power. Like I could lift myself out of my life. You made me feel drunk. I felt like you were the breath of life and if only I did what you wanted that you would save my soul from hell. In these visions I keep hearing, "You cannot hide inner pain in lust".

3) The memory of me as the French prostitute and you stabbing me. I relived that moment. It was after a night of drinking and song. I thought you were so powerful and wonderful. You lit up my eyes like no other did. I was so afraid of telling you that I loved you because I feared you would stop coming around. I remember a grand game of chasing you around. I followed you out of my brothel and giggled and laughed after you as you led me on a merry chase. My curly hair flying in the wind as I breathlessly chased you into the woods. You came out from behind a tree and grabbed me. And I squealed with delight thinking of more amorous things. But then I saw the look of your eyes in the moon light and I became afraid and tried to run. You grabbed my waist, then my arm. You were hurting me. You pulled me to you and wrapped an arm around my head, and stabbed me with the other. I left my body then in shock as I crumpled to your feet. I remember my soul standing there looking at you as you just starred at me. A shell of a man. And all I could think of was, 'how I just wanted to be with you'. In this vision I kept hearing, "Love has no shame, Power over love is love lost."

4) Then I started having visions of your and Eriks deaths throughout time. Some seemed in the past some seemed like future possibility. But it wasn't the details per say. That was there some... like I saw myself having to give a speech at your funeral and how I couldn't cause I couldn't stop crying. But I also saw bodies buried, bodies burnt, bodies on boats and rafts. Bodies in battle... And the feelings were sooo sharp sooo painful. I felt you both die. I felt horrible loss and pain.. Like I'd be totally abandoned. Like life wasn't worth living anymore. THEN, it would switch to meeting you both again right after I died. It was in the void between realms. And you and others in light stood around my arrived soul. And I collapsed in grief, pain, and relief at being reunited again. And I just sat there, laid there crumpled up with arms around me and sobbed and sobbed. And all I could think of while having these visions was, "That this is my fear of abandonment".

Again, I said to Erik that I was so afraid of being left. And he apologized for saying the other night that he would choose Jillian over me, but that he hadn't meant it like that at all. That at the time he was only trying to be light of heart and funny. And he and Lydia both said, "Do you honestly think a Spirit-a soul as old as you would have no one in the universe to journey with? Do you not think that you are worthy of love and companionship? Just because you can not remember all in your mortal form doesn't mean that the love of many isn't waiting to be reunited with you. After all, we are both here, are we not? I tried to examine my feelings for you, Erik, Elisa, and my guides. I kept wanting to say, the longing, it's like being in love. But not. That's when I heard, "Yes, feelings and emotions are also just words and symbols. Symbols of lessons learned and lives gone by."

Then I started remembering some of my life with Lydia and you and her as my parents. But mostly it was just the feelings and love. And the knowledge that all are interconnected with love, history, and divine purpose.

Then as I lay there in bed thinking that I needed to write all this down and closely examine it to try and relate it to my current life. I heard. "It's ok to cry". And I even though I had already cried and felt better. I kinda secretly wanted to just sit in the corner and let it all out one more time. Then I heard. "Do not fear feelings" Fear has no place in the feelings of love". "Shame has no place in love". Feelings channeled into love and expressed in healthy ways is a reflection of the divine."

Well, that's all I got. Erik says I should treasure the memories. Hold onto the good, and understand the negative. And know that I will never be alone.

So I think last night I had an ephipany... My past and present fears of being abandoned are a direct manifestation of my fears of being abandoned, cut off from or loosing my way to God Source. Some of it is past relationship based. but a lot of it comes from forgetting my spiritual connection in my mortal body. and how much I hate it. and so i keep manifesting loss, dispair and reconnection in all its forms.......

J~

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I Know this may seem very different, difficult to many. That's OK. A key to life is to know that by self examination of feelings, a soul can find that which is within. That which is within, in the darkest corner, hidden deep, is the spark of knowing, the spark of being. Everything that which you hold secret, everything that sets you apart. All your experiences, all your loves, all your dreams, everything, the good, the bad, that which makes you-YOU. That is your power. No one can take it away from you. Let the fear fall away. Head forward, eyes inward. Be not afraid. Let fear fall away. Take just one step and you will find help to take the next. Be brave, be true, be honest. Love and Live. You are never alone. In darkest night, you are a shining light that flares across the universe, a spark of light that mirrors the great Divine. A spark that cries out and says, I am here. You are heard. Angels flock to you. Reaching out to you, clamoring to hold you up. You only have to but open your heart, open your eyes, and hold out your hands.

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 30, Backtrack entry

Robert and I's Teacher suggested that I write out a spiritual plan of action. Short or long term it did not matter. But it would help get my mind on track so that I could follow through with action. He also suggested to share with ya. :)

Plan of action

-make time to connect on a daily basis with my guides and teachers for guidance, teaching, etc

-tell them/in Spirit my thanks and that I love them

-make time to connect to more one on one for instruction with my guides

-make time to live life the way I should, with purpose and meaning, and to help others

Goals:

-Get to know Jillian one on one and grow to be great friends in this lifetime

-Get to know my guides one on one and reveal their faces in color and full features

-Get to know my grandparents in Spirit as I could not know them in real life

-Get to know my Spiritual Teachers

-Explore and fully understand the differences between mental and physical mediumship

-Become learned and educated as much as I can in all things Spiritual

-Learn to channel with wisdom and purpose in any situation

-Try to figure out how I fit in with Elisa, Robert, Erik and everyone else I've 're-met' online

-Try to figure out where to go with this life and do right by myself and others.

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 29, Backtrack entry

Group Visualization Practice #1

A few of us at Channeling Erik have slowly started group visualization / channeling practice with Erik. Below is how this one when down. It's in chain email form.

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Jason to group:

This mornings fun visualizations was in my green house. I was practicing with Jillian. I was painting her nails and Erik was trying to distract me. So I'd whip out this huge paint brush. And brush and brush her 'hand'. But the brush would only paint the nails.... Weird I know....Erik kept running up and saying "wanna paint my finger--ummm.... Ewwwee gross! Erik you F-in perv.). Then I would whip out this powdered sugar shaker and dust her nails...and Erik on the head!

[So, now here's the visualization practice.....

What did her nails look like....?]

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Robert to group:

Now, Jillian's nails...umkay...the visualization changed twice. When I first saw them, they were red with white tips. I guess that is called French tips? I dunno...then after I read your email completely it changed to pink with glitter and I also see jewels (diamonds) on each nail. She's holding up her hands to me and saying "Aren't my nails just fabulous!". Erik is saying, "Yeah, it's all Jason's fault! I'm kidding of course! They make her look so hot!". Jillian is grinning ear to ear. :-)

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Jason to Robert:

HA HA!!! Your half right!!

It was rainbow polish with sparkles. Glittery silvery jewled sparkles!! ha ha!! That is what was in the powder shaker and I dumped on Eriks head! Now he's a glitter head!!! HA HA HA!!! giggle!!

My nail polish is multi dimentional! Giggle! I can't blame her for mixing it up! Cause it was kinda of obnoxious! Rainbows. And I kept thinking, Hey Erik, here's your luck charms! I wanna see your sparkle hair!!! WOOO!

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Jason to group:

Ha ha... Now he's wearing a white powdered wig with big ass rine stones in them. Like mozart or something. And he keeps making kissy faces and bowing... Ha ha ha!

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Robert to Jason:

LOL! That Erik! Now it explains why the colors kept changing! They would cycle different shades in my mind. I was like, huh? It was cause she was trying to show me rainbows! She's smiling now and saying how fabulous her nails are.

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Jason to Robert:

Oh Geeeze Robert,, LOL ... Spirits imagery!! HA HA...

If only I was better at symbols and abstract stuff. This morning Roger (my main guide) gave me a doozy vision. He was comforting me and I was complaing how I wanted to learn how to see his face like I see Eriks. And he started morphing into someone who looked like Jesus. I know he wasn't cause of the feeling of the energy. But there was a crown of thorns and everything. I think it was simply a symbol for forgiveness, and unconditional love, and understanding of sacrifiice....

Sigh... I wanna cuddle dead people!!! Sighh..... I think I need a puppy.. Can I borrow yours?

HA HA HA...

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Robert to Jason

LOL! Sure! She's a handful though! Just give her back after your are done or I'll miss her too much! heehee...

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 29, Backtrack entry

I had a very good holiday. Lots of good family time. Big gathering at my fathers. Spent the rest of my time cleaning the old apartment and unpacking. We are 100% moved into the new place now.

But I have to say I've continued the pattern of having a very rough emotional time of it. Last I wrote you both, The past several weeks I've been experiencing new empathic experiences. I've been on an emotional roller coaster as each new spiritual experience happens. The visions I've been getting of past lives started increasing. Everything from the mundane to the horrific, to the intimate. Each new memory of past lives or a vision that surfaces or each new channeling I do, or thing I learn seems to unleash this well spring of emotion associated with that experience. Which is weird to me as it seems to be of that life or vision and not me. It's all so hard to describe because before last April, when all these positive experiences started happening; I was a pretty cold and bottled up unemotional person.

As I understand it; It is akin to the so called Hindu, "Kundalini experience or syndromes"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kundalini#Physical_effects

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kundalini_Syndrome

Not quite like that as I was already connected to Spirit in a beyond normal way from birth, but it's like each new experience unleashes this well of emotion. I deal with it and it subsides.

I thought I was doing pretty well after talking to you last. About keeping a balance in my life. And talking to My Spirit Teacher about shielding my mind and heart and controlling my emotion. But last week before the holiday, I had a vision about a blog member in emotional trouble. I experienced what she went through. I wanted to help her. I didn't know how. I wished there was a way I could help send her feelings of protection, love, comfort, and support; to surround her with light and love. Then on the bus ride home. 2 of my guides and I all held hands in my minds eye, in my soul home and my Spirit Teacher was in the middle. And they showed me from a 3rd person view that I did not need to do that. That her guides and Angels were already doing this. But my guides and Teacher let me see and experience the technical details of what her Angels and guides were doing to give her the support she needed. It was all very intense because it was as if I were her guides and angels and I was using my personal energy to do this. But it wasn't me. They just wanted me to know what that was like. And to use that experience and knowledge and apply it to my past experiences and know that one can never approach such things with fear or baser emotions. In fact this vision was extremely draining. Then on the way home my guide Lydia showed me another technique for Spirit communication that involved overlapping earthly visual surroundings with the minds eye and merging them together in a way that my spirit observed the new scene from a 3rd party perspective which would enable changes of perspectives of my point of view to enable better communications. That was draining too. So I went into thanksgiving holiday feeling totally zonked and out of it. Then after that the past lives visions started. Which contained a ton of emotion. And Robert and I and a Teacher stated talking about the meaning, symbology and what not of our Spiritual names. And our place in the time line of history relative to each other. Then Elisa posted more on Eriks last death and That unleashed even more emotion. Honestly if it weren't for Robert and my Teachers and Erik and guides I'd be a total mess...

But yesterday I fear I've threw my self a good ol' fashion pitty party. You know the good o'l think and do everything I can think of to withdraw into myself in the most selfish way possible. I dunno. I hung out with my Dad from 11am-4:30p, but before and after I was kinda an ass. Instead of learning, reading, and helping people it was just me and the bad attitude. I felt kinda bad about that because I wanted to contribute more to the blog and what I felt would help people. As well as a friend of mine. But I didn't.

"The Gang" says it just means I am human and that at least I am aware of what is going on with me and desire to move forward. Let see it always seems to feel like two steps forward and one step back. Erik did a real good job of talking to me last night. He kind of described my tumultuous journey along the lines of: One one hand I have this ego. It's made up of base emotions, drives, and instincts. It's very selfish and primal. It's all about "me me me". For a lot of people; They use ego and apply it to their lives and they are not the nicest people. Then opposite of ego, I have my higher self. It is selfless, and desires to be with the divine, helping human kind. Currently I am in the middle of trying to bridge the two. Previously before this year I tried to deal with past hurts and life by using ego to band-aid together my soul and life. Which lead down a pretty dark road. Then, after my Spiritual wake up calls; I slowly started to connect to switch to the higher connections so-to-speak. But by this point I was addicted to ego. And just like any obsession I was having difficulty letting my lower self go. So like anyone I've been having off and on weak moments. But I and the "Gang" pick myself up, dust myself off and move forward. It's really hard sometimes. I feel kind of resentful at times. Like I look over my shoulder and say, Geee.. rolling around in the mud feels so good.....

But then Erik says to me:

"Look. That's fine. Roll around in the mud. We won't stop you. It's a valid choice. But here's the thing. You are really connected to Spirit. You can channel your energies to the lower ego, which is fine. But your connection will manifest on that level. You will become self absorbed to the detriment of your relationships and your surroundings and your well being. OR, you can channel your energies to the higher state of being and connect and manifest the higher emotions. Love, compassion, kindness; help others, teach, learn, and move your soul closer to Source. Your in the middle of a tug-o-war. You just need to get out of the mud, dust yourself off and try again. Just that your try and try again is half the battle. Don't beat yourself up. Because as long as your heart is in the right place; no matter what path you choose. You will get something positive out of this life."

So I went to bed, reconciled with myself and reconnected on a higher level. So I am ok now.

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 28., Backtrack entry

Remember: Reality is created by belief, intent based thought, and our perceptions and interpretations of the data around us.

Do not fear. Do not be afraid. There is nothing in this world that can harm you. Your guides, your Angels, and your loved ones in Spirit have your back. Everything has a purpose whether we understand it or not. You must look beyond the unknown, the confusing, and the dark.

You must remember that fearlessness in the face of the fearsome; turns lack of understanding into something beautiful.

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 28., Backtrack entry

Erik on Sleeping Pills: (for me personally)

"If you feel you need the pills then you do. If you feel you don't you don't. It's one of those perspective things altering your brain interpretations and input. He says that 'they'(spirits) often try to get us to the point between sleep and awake because we are more receptive to communications and manifestations. Often that contains the element of "waking us" from sleep but not fully. But often if we are not expecting it and are startled we will become totally awake."

In the past Erik's told me to stay away from sleeping pills, (unless I really need to) I don't really understand it, other than to say in my own experience that it really made sleep and spiritual junk goofey. But rather if I felt I needed a break, I was to explicitly and with deep meaning ask to have help to fall asleep. Also what helps is various meditation excersises. But that takes dedication and practice. Not something half way.

I dunnoo..

He's also told me to ask "them" to help me work on sleep-to-wake perceptions for guideane and love.

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 27., Backtrack entry

JOKE: How many guides does it take to change a light bulb? A). None. Erik keeps gettin in the way!

I think this is only fair; Cause he has been tormenting Robert, Sharon and I with rude humor. He even follows us into the bathroom to make rude toilet sounds! How gross is that?!

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 27., Backtrack entry

I had the facinating experience of another spontanious channeling experience of channeling another channeling Erik website members guides upon her post to Elisa; that Elisa put up. The blog member was experiencing many of the same visual manifestions that I have. My teachers used that opportunity to visually show me what her guides were doing. Protecting her, sheilding her, calling her to tap into her own abilities. They also introduced me to an empathic light circle from their perspective. I saw and channeled them and her angels. I had a few email conversations with her regarding channeling. I hope to hear from her in the future to see how she is getting along. We'll see.

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 25., Backtrack entry

Channeling Erik Blog member and my Reiki Teacher sent me the following poem:

May you listen to your longing to be free.

May the frames of your belonging be large enough for the dreams of your soul.

May you arise each day with a voice of blessing whispering in your heart

...something good is going to happen to you.

May you find harmony between your soul and your life.

May the mansion of your soul never become a haunted place.

May you know the eternal longing that lies at the heart of time.

May there be kindness in your gaze when you look within.

May you never place walls between the light and yourself.

May you be set free from the prisons of guilt, fear, disappointment and despair.

May you allow the wild beauty of the invisible world to gather you,

mind you, and embrace you in belonging.

~~ John O'Donohue ~~

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 24., Backtrack entry

A few of the Channeling Erik blog members and I have been greatly amused by comparing a couple photos of Erik and I at the same ages when I was younger. We look a lot alike. A lot. Same hair even. They all agree. Sometime in the future I'll post a few photos.

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Erik via Robert said the following:

":-) awww...you two do look alike! So very cute! Erik's saying "Yeah, Jason was blessed with favoring me. Not dont ya feel so lucky --Ole Lady?". heehee

Erik says, "Yeah, Lucky for Jason that he looks like me he could have chicks falling all over em!". He's grinning now, like he usually does... :-)

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 24., Backtrack entry

Email post to Elisa and Robert:

OK, Elisa, Eriks been pestering me to say to the fam; , "Hi!!! I love you all, if you would all please take 20 seconds of your Thanksgiving day and when you look at the deserts take a few and think of me while taking a bite of the desert so I can share!"... Elisa, he's showing me him with big baggy pants with elsatic so he can get fat on the "good stuff". Oh, and he says, don't forget the whip cream! He is so gross... He's showing me him laying there with his arms and legs draped over backwards on the couch with a can of redi-whip sticking the nozzel in his mouth and making vulgar sounds.

-Erik, 'your going to make a mess all over your mom's nice couch.

"Whaaa! I was here first!"

He says, "close your eyes as you take a bite and see if you get any mental images...."

Sigh... I just hope they are more polite than some of the ones he gives Robert and I....

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Elisa to Jason

Ha! I'll do it. This sounds so much like Erik!!!!! So the second TG without him will really be WITH him. YAY!! Have a great turkey day!

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Robert to the both of us

LOL! I intend to eat till I'm stuffed to the gills, so he'll get to enjoy himself! He's gonna be there tomorrow too. He and I are glued together...Erik's saying "Yeah, but make it Krazy Glue!". :-)

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 24., Backtrack entry

I've had another remarkable nighttime visiation from my old neighbor. The mother of a dear childhood friend. She came to me to give him a message. What was remarkable is that early on in this whole Spiritual process and throughout she has remained a periodic solid source of Spiritual help. Esspecially in connecting to higher Spirit and manipulating Spiritual light. Well after I delivered the message, her son told me of her visiation to him that same night and it gave him a wonderful sense of comfort and peace. It is such a relief and joy to have this connection with him. I can't wait until we are all together again someday in love and joy in the light.

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 23., Backtrack entry

Erik says, "-----Just remember we(the Spirit world) we'll always always be there for you! Do you understand just how few people are able to remember and relise even a small part of their true selves. It's a MAJOR accomplishment! There is no turning back now. Only forward and side paths. It's totally up to you which path to take. But the road behind is securely behind you now. Tell Sharon too. Love and forgiveness conquers all. it's up to all of us to embrace it or not. That goes for how we view ourselves too! Let go the darkness within and only allow yourself to be filled with the light of higher emotions and the dark will fall behind. "

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 23., Backtrack entry

Erik and Jillian has be spending a lot of time helping Sharon. They alter her music to send messages. As well as interact with her young child, and practice developing Sharons visualization and image channeling ability. I've been really enjoying her Erik and Jillian experiences. I wish she would record them. They are sweet.

Erik and Jillian have given confirmation to Robert and I about all this.

I was writing to her about this topic and also related the following:

Hi there, good to hear from you. We were out cleaning that old apartment until after 9. Then when we came back I was totally zonked out tired. I took a shower and just layed in bed wanting to sleep. Somewhere in that time, I kept thinking about you and Erik and Jill, and Robert and Elisa, and all that. I kept having visual flashes of all of us sitting around Eriks porch swing in the void chatting. As if it were a conspiracy. Our higher selves plotting away or gossiping about something. No clue if it was before out births or current.

I told Jill that I wanted to thank her for helping you. She said something like, "Oh, honey, we are all family". "Tell her that I swear I will be there. Our word is our bond. The journey made is never made alone.". "Just close your eyes and trust".

You know when a suspected spirit touch becomes seemingly intense with localization and borders on uncomfortable with pinpoint skin sensations, it's usually because they are trying to get through our emotions to let us know they are there. They use a great deal of energy to plow through the emotion which is why the intensity.

I then started thinking about 'that you had questions on what was going on with you'. I'd been thinking this in the car earlier in the night too. Then I started having visions that you and Jill shared past lives together. And then more about your past lives with Erik and me. And that we all, including Robert and Elisa, that our spirits have not been traveling down the same human families. That with each jump we were switching blood lines. But that we were frequently using ones of celtic backgrounds. That there was spiritual genetic marker that we've been frequently using to stay connected to Spirit. And that was triggering the ability for the so called Spiritual "Clair's" Clairalience- Scent

Clairaudience- telepathy and outer hearing, sound manipulation

Clairgustance- taste

Clairsentience- energy sensing, empathy, and touch

Clairvoyance- visions, sight, and knowing

That you and I had last tested this out together in Canada, in Nova Scotia or some area like that, and before that in Great Briton and Norway. Then before that Gaul, and Spain near the old Roman empire. Weird I know. But it was like I wasn't in control of my vision. It was like Robert and the rest of us were a beacon of flashing energy and you, me, Erik and Elisa and so many more were pin points of light tha spiraled out from a central point. As if we were all using universal energy to arrive at a point as a group. Leap frogging through to time in the hope that the next leap would take us over the edge of the next level.

Lots of love

J

ps. Don't forget to ask / seek Erik's help for connecting with your guides. He says no rush, but they can really teach you about all these new experiences. Jill can too! Just ask her any time!

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 23., Backtrack entry

So, Erik and Robert and one of my Teachers has been helping me with an emotional issue I'd been having off and on for a while. (yea, right I know - another one) :) --- and so it's been working and so I emailed Robert, Erik and Jill, just saying thank you and how much I loved them and what not. That was yesterday.

Also, I've got to tell you, And I am sure you know the feeling. I tend to be a needy baby when it comes to affection. Especially as I go through more and more spiritual stuff and remember things and experience the emotions of it all. I am constantly badgering Erik for Hugs of late. I was joking with Robert about that on the phone and Erik said, "Well you wouldn't be you if it weren't the case...". ha! In fact, I've caught myself thinking, I don't give a crap about visions, I want a hug. And what I mean by that is those energy warm buzz hugs he gives. *on a side note if you ever channel a higher level being, the feeling is like Erik hugs but all over and like your drunk on energy. So I had that in mind when I thought hug...

Well, like I said, I wrote that email to them and I was awfully emotional about it, because it was a big milestone in my life. Then I woke up at around 1:30am this morning thinking 'oh, I should check my email'. So I whip out my phone and sure enough shortly after I had gone to bed Robert, Erik and Jil had replied with their love and affection. Each had their own sweet little message for me. I was just super happy about that and fell back asleep.

Well, then I suddenly woke up between 3 and 3:30 or so. The room was still. Then all of a sudden I felt like what I can only describe as arms going around my shoulders. But it felt like it came from out and down, the opposite direction I was laying in bed. I was facing the center of the bed. My left side exposed. The side Erik told me to face before. Anyway; The arms felt like they were outside of and under my sheets. No hands, just arms. And they moved my sheets and pressed against me. I mean there was pressure there, but it didn't have weight to it. Hard to describe. It had mass and moved and moved stuff, but no weight. So these arms then wrapped me up in a hug about the shoulders and then slowly rocked me back and forth 2 times. I / my torso actually moved back to the left with the arms! It was sooo gentle. And it was just like if I was standing, someone came up behind me and put there arms around me in a bear hug and put their chin on my shoulder! And at that moment woosh!-Goosh! there was this intense emotion of love.

It was so amazing.

Then from far back in the room I heard a little weird voice say in my mind, "I heard the house is haunted?".

And for a moment I was startled and scared that I was having another scary out of body experience.

Then! Erik and at this point I KNEW the hug was him. Threw off the arms and gave this HUGE gawffing joyous laughter that just reverberated really loud in my head!

And I found I wasn't afraid any more!!! I then proceeded to chase him in my minds eye until he tackled me and started tickling me. Jill watching on said, we love you!

Then I fell back asleep happy.

This morning when I woke up I wondered about that experience. And then I felt the two near me, and Erik said that weird little voice was my latent fear trying to manifest and we laughed it away together. Then,... I started mulling over whether or not to tell you. I mean. Cause if it wasn't real, I don't want you to go expecting some hug. I mean. That's just mean. BUT. . Then Erik starts in... He said, "It's real, It's real, It's real... Tell MOM, Tell Robert, It was real! Tell mom to brush the lint out of her teeth cause it was me. Tell her cause I want my mom and I don't want her to think it was a fucking dream!!!"

At that point I was just practically dancing around the house with happy joy. I was tearing up and everything. No doubts only happy.

So, there you have it.

Hope you have a great Thanksgiving.

On that note., Elisa, I just want to say how thankful I am for you. I really look up to you as an example on how to live life with purpose and your overall out look has really inspired me. Especially how you deal with hardship, and your work ethic. If I had this life to do all over again, I wish I could have had you as a parent. I can really feel that you would have loved me no matter what. I know that's probably not fair to my own parents as they did the best they could under their own circumstances. But I just wanted to say thank you to you and Rune, and well everyone there for giving what they could. It enabled a chain reaction of changed lives. Not just me, but in other blog members I've talked to and in fact people around me.

So, Well. um, Happy Thanksgiving. It's the quiet still moments of the night that the para---not scratch that... That Spiri--- no scratch that.... That Love comes knocking... :)

Lots of love,

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(Here is what Robert had to say about this)

Erik's telling me he and Jill as well as a few others in Spirit all pooled their energy together to make that hug happen. They also say they amplified the love they feel for you to help you beat back the fear which has dogged you since you were very young. They say your vibrations were sufficiently raised to enable all of this to occur. They say you've hit a MAJOR milestone and it has caused great celebrations on their side of the Veil. They say you should celebrate as well and to continue to do so for as long as you physically exist. :-) You've come a very long way youngster! A very long way!

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 23., Backtrack entry

I've been giddy with emotion all frickin day. I was letting my poor mind run amuk with remembering stuff, visions, communication, and getting upset that I wanted the giant Spiritual download right now, and feeling trapped in my fake holigraphic body. It took two of my Spirit Teachers to get me out of the mental loop today during my walk. But I still feel funny. :)

ha ha!

Erik just told me something along the lines of, "Geeezzzeeee.... your impossible. Big baby! I am going to have to get you a baby buggy." And then he shows me all dangled in a buggy with my nakey limbs hanging out. Wearing a diaper and a bonnet with a horrible scoul on my face holding a big bottle and him pushing the stroller! And then he takes away the baby bottle and sticks a you know what in it!

OMG!!! He is soooo mean!! ha ha ha ha!!! LOL

No, but seriously. Wow, what a trip. My Spirit Teachers and Erik are life savers. Such good explanations and makes me feel good at the same time!

Hope your day goes well.

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 23., Backtrack entry

My arthristis is just killing me today. I need a spinal transplant?

Just wanted to say thanks again for Robert, Elisa, and my guides for the emotional help and support this past weekend. Having friends like them and Erik to talk about stuff-- has been a real life saver. They always show me love regardless of whatever I say to them.

Even though my guides have worked with me all along, having Erik to be able to talk to, has really made all the difference. That being-- the negitive emotions---- which in my particular condition/ abiliites risks negative manifestations.

Lately Erik has been there during my dark moments every step of the way to guide me to love and healthy feelings. It's totally worked except the few times I got stressed out enough or just fu'in selfish with my damn ego that I gave in and ignored the "gang". Then I felt guilty and bad about it, in which case I had to start all over again with self examination and self forgiveness and reconnecting to the higher emotions/ levels of spirit.

Talking to Robert, Elisa and my guides are great; to know I am not alone. They want me to stay in a happy positive frame of mind so i can stay connected to the higher level energies and keep the gobbledy-gook spirit junk away. To not give into the negitave emotions to just let it all go and try harder. Each day step by step moving forward anew.

Yesterday I got some mulling spices for a house warming gift and my guide Lydia said that she trusted me enough to say I could partake in a glass of wine or spiced wine, but wanted me to still stay away from the hard stuff. Erik told my probation was never about a "set time frame or list of duties or tasks. That that was just to guide me on a path. That it was all about getting me to keep my vibrations up until I could be sure that i would do so of my own valition; so that i would not manifest the negitivity. That I actually determined the time frame for not doing active channeling based on my preception of my behavior and thoughts. . .

Our Spirit Teacher told me I need to try harder and just let go of the negitive feelings. To apply love and light rather than give into ego's desires. To also forgive myself. which has been hard cause off and on I've been a real selfish ass to the Spirit gang. Then i feel sorry for myself. which turns that nasty selfish circle.

But really, I am doing sooo much better. Erik's told me before he's proud of me and my struggle, and how I am doing. That I am doing better than he would have done in real life under such circumstances. But that statement is hard on me because then I picture him in his last life and how he's not here any more and then I feel sad about that and want to cry. I must drive him crazy sometimes. I am just so glad he never gave up on me. ..I am wayyyy too emotional I think...

I am actually having a really really good day! I've been in a great mood despite the weather. I was able to help a blog member last night and write that long soul home experience this morning.

Tonight i am going to be super busy with cleaning the old place. it's so dusty

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(Robert had a reply from Erik about this post)

"Erik is saying "though I give ya shit, it comes from love! You're my bro! I ain't ever gonna abandon you Dawg! I promise!". Jillian says "this is 'Princess'. Take any teasing from Erik with a grain of salt. Just so you know, I always give him a good shove when he picks on you or misbehaves! I love you Jason! All of us here do!". She's smiling and blowing you a kiss. Erik is being vulgar, doing his usual of picking his nose and flicking it". He said "tell the Old Lady this is for her!" he's laughing now and Jill is rolling her eyes and shoving him. LOL!"

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 22., Backtrack entry

This afternoon, I was feeling akward about something I wrote on the blog and was whining to Erik. And I was kind of a jerk to him about it. I am pretty sure he wanted to throttle me.

Did I ever tell you I keep a private text file where I do Q & A's with Erik? I just type my question and then type whatever he says down.

Well, here is todays entry.

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J---Erik, did I offend your mom with my blog post about faith and the afterlife?

E---Na, man you just got to hold your horses and wait. You can't wait on baited breath for her to tell you it's all ok. you need to just let go and trust what you are saying is worth sharing. just wait.

J---But I feel bad. It sucks

E-----quit whining. If she doesn't post it put it in the forum under the proper section.

J---I always doubt myself when this happens and then when I don't feel like I get the answer clearly, ie. yes or no. i feel like either you holding back or I it's all in my head fake shit.

E------guhhhh.. will you stop freakin out. She's human too, just roll with it. You do what you can and just live your life the rest of the time.... gerrrrr....

J---Sorry Erik. I am a ass hole. Please forgive me?

E------Maybe. This once.. :) I want cookies! :)

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Funny huh?...

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 22., Backtrack entry

Having trouble with visualizing your guides or Angels?

Just that you have desire means that the seeds of belief exist within yourself. Seeds of belief can grow into thoughts, dreams, visualizations, inner meaning, and communication. Thought forms, belief, intent, and emotion is the stuff of creation. They are the spark of the controlling the driving force behind all energy which makes up matter, seen and unseen. As it pertains to Spirits and the Spirit realms, this is all it takes to communicate. It's all about perspective. If you have trouble try changing your perspective. Day dream of your desire. Use this to meet them half way.

For some, this can be accomplished by creating what is called a soul home. Or in some realities or interpretations, your heavenly home, or your astral home. This all sounds very abstract and hoky-pokey, but if you can sit in the park and stair up at clouds and day dream about a place that made you happy, a place you felt loved. You can do this too!

Doing this creates happy thoughts and feelings which raise your spiritual vibration. This in turn allows you to meet your guides and or Angles half way. Which makes communication of various forms easier.

Just sit back in a comfy chair. Put on soft music of any type. Make sure no one else is around to distract you. pets are ok. Just cuddle with them. Close your eyes. Just sit there. Breath normally. Ok, now remember a time and place where you are happy. Try to pick a place where you felt safe and loved. It could be self love too. Where, oh, where were you happy? If you can't think of a place, well.... That's your mission, to find it. For some this could be a grandparents home. This could be watching a sun rise in a kitchen. For others this could be the campground you were at as a child. This could be the lake you go fishing at. Or this could even be your dream home, your anything goes home. Or just somewhere out in nature. It's all about day dreaming and what -- what you think of, means to you.

So picture that which is love, comfort and happy. Say to yourself, "I want to go to this place and hear from my guides or Angels in any way they wish to manifest themselves to me. Then imagine yourself there. Your in that space now. Don't worry about how you got there. Just imagine yourself looking around. Take your time. Try to have fun and relax. If you can't see anything, make it up. Look at a blank wall and imagine a book case there. Try to fill it. What do you pick out to fill it? Talk to yourself about it. Why did you pick what picked? Does it matter? Did you pick it? Or maybe just maybe, you had a stray suggestion.... Was it from you? Or an Angel or guide? And maybe... If so.... What might it mean?

Walk around, change walls if you can, change decor and lighting. Change your environment, just keep pretending and imagining. Is your eyes still closed? Close them!... :) So walk around and if you see anyone in there with you. You need to try and try that they are there for a reason. Don't worry about how they or it or even animals look! Just let go and accept that they are there with you. Do they say anything or do anything? Feel free to ask them questions without expectation of answer or how that answer is delivered.

You ask me, what the Heck?! What does all this mean or have anything to do with me? Wellllll, The afterlife and spiritual realms are frequently described in various metaphysical, spiritual, and religious traditions by metaphor and symbols. What do you think that means? One perspective is "Intent, thought based imagery". You can guide this and be guided by it. Find the reality within you and manifest it in your life for the greater good.

I'll use how this applies to me for an example: *** Note, this is rather convoluted for most people. For most people simply finding that small quite space of your grandmas kitchen will work just fine.. ... It's totally subjective.

My Greenhouse of the Soul.

In the past; In fact only until this past week I'd never thought much about the so-called "soul homes" or that special place your Spirit goes and calls home. That place that is all yours. Never mind "where" this is. But, I'd read about them before. They are places where you can go to meet your guides, meet your higher self, meet your Angels, meet departed relatives. Or just relax and hang out. For example, One medium I greatly admire uses a white room with a table in it; which is at the end of a number of stair steps beyond a number of doors. She counts down the steps and doors as a method of relaxing her mind to get to the room to talk. But that seemed to formal for me. So I let it go. Robert's soul home is a giant tree on a grassy hill. A place to sit, relax and look at the Heavens. But, alas, for me, I never tried until recently. I thought, well, I am still in development. I'll get to it when I get to it. So far for me, the empty dark void of my inner mind was enough. So, thus my guides appeared to me in a dark void. And thus people I channeled were presented to me within that void. The tunnel to heaven so-to-speak. I was OK with this, but it certainly didn't feel like home to me.

Well, the other day my guides got sick of waiting for me.

So during an apointment to meet with them, they took control. They plopped us all down in the void at my grandparents kitchen table. A table and chairs in the void. They just sat there watching me walk up to them. I walked over to my guide Roger and he have me a big old hug. My other guide Lydia waved at me over her knitting. And I sat down in an empty chair. Rogers student, George came running around the table and gave me a hug and then took off running again. Then Erik resolves into the void. As he strolls in he is trailing wisps of shadow, smoke, cloud and luminous curling streams of dust that trails from his limbs. I look at him and say, "Wow, Erik! Very Dramatic!" He says, "Yea, I am cool like that! -- ha ha ha"... He then goes to sit next to Lydia and leans up to her and grins.... She tries to frown and pull her knitting away from him, so he can't touch her. They love ribbing each other.

Well, then they all look around and say, "soooo...This is your soul home?" Lydia then says', "Well it's awful I hate it. You need light and love!" She then "pulls" us out of the void and we flit into being-- into my grandparents kitchen. Table, people and everything. It was a wonderful homey happy place I loved watching the sun rise with them. I said, "This is awesome! but, it's theirs not mine."....

So I tried to think of a place that I was super happy in by myself and loved spending time in. For me, that was out in nature, but an interior place was a green house. So I then imagined all of us in a green house I was fond of. Lydia, said, "Good job, but this isn't your place yet. Change the walls. Move them around!". So I got rid of the table and move the walls around and put un in lawn chairs and moved us to the back wall grotto. Surrounded in a small space with water and ferns and the soft warm sun shining through the glass... Erik looked at me and said, "Cool man, I am out of here. Catch ya later!". And then Roger and Lydia started talking to me. They said, "This is now your soul home. Come here when you want to meet us. Set up times to meet us. Change the surroundings as you like as you explore. Try to figure out what any of it means as you come to it."....

...And then I was back and the vision was over.

Well, after that, over the next few days I talked about this to Robert and another blog member. I talked to them about creating their own special "soul place" and exploring it to see what they could see or hear.

This morning I worked on mine some more while on the bus. I closed my eyes and said in my head I wanted to do so and meet my guides. In The green house.

But, I was feeling wonky from personal stuff Robert and Erik have been working with me on. And the same time trying to work out empathic feelings tied to relationships. And, at the same time dealing with some family issues; and the house move/ boxes/ unpacking feeling overwhelmed, ect. And this morning I got an email from my mother about personal drama...... so by the time I got on the bus, I was so distracted that my visualizations would not stay still, they kept morphing uncontrollably into disturbing images. And the chairs, tables, and walls of my soul home kept changing sizes. I was getting really frustrated.

So then the "gang" (guides & Erik), gave me a lesson. They said that I just needed to let it all go. That there was nothing I could do to change anything in my life or those around me. That I could only change my perspective.

Once my outlook was changed, I was able to blast through the chaos of my mind and overlay my mind onto my surroundings and control my visualizations. And then, so I thought - so I created- the green house of my soul.

Within my day dream, within my minds eye, within my Spirit, clouds within the void bellowed out and the clouds parted to a hillside in the sun. Out of the clouds appeared.... Towering glass domes; pinnacles of spires; room after room of vegetation; jungle rooms; dessert rooms; grotto's of my soul; fountains; dense dark vegetation; soft ferns; and in the middle of it and all around rose giant towering Sequoias and Redwoods; And bursting out of the center glass dome in the middle of it all was a towering cypress which held a tree house.

Then once all that rose up out of the mist of my mind I thought; "I want to-- No, I need to shield it all." So in my minds eye I visualized the entire complex and I stood next to it but apart from it. This next part was all in a dark void.

I then imagined myself reaching up to Heaven and parting the Ethereal clouds. Light poured down into the top of my head and filled me. As it reached my lowest chakra point it swirled up into a little ball and then burst out- in -and outward--and upward; spiral spinning a liquid web of yellow and white gold energy and up around me. Then I willed it into a circle, an orb that rotated around me. Then I visualized it split in two. The center orb's inside had a reflective surface, to reflect emotion back to me. The outer orb rotated in the opposite direction and block incoming energy. Then in my minds eye enlarged these two orbs and over laid it on top of my green house. Then I reached back with my hand and took my silver cord and connected it to the top of the orbs now surrounding my soul home.

At this point Lydia, one of my guides said, Good job, Now you are to meet us halfway, here in your soul home. Take the time to explore it and discover what it means. Make appointments to meet us here. In the void of your mind, in the heart of your soul rests here this home. The green house of your soul. Space, Time, Matter, Energy, and the Light of Universal Love is but a perception of the mind. Find the right perspective and use intent to find the path of Light.

Sooo, Be it a green house, a tree house, a camp fire, the lake, or grandmas kitchen. Remember and create a visual space in your head that means love, light, and happiness. Tell yourself you wand to go there. Go there walk around. See what speaks to you, See what shows itself. It is it a book, an animal, an object, or plant? Figure out what it might all mean. It's all about perspective and the only thing we need to do to see, hear, feel, and know Spirit is to change our perspective..

Peace and Love in the Light,

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 19th., Backtrack entry

I get a kick out of how Erik multi-tasks between Robert, Elisa, Sharon and I. I've gotten to the point I can tell where his primary focus is if he is "talking to one of us" Or he will tell me who his is with or sometimes, every blue moon, I'll catch a visual glimps through his eyes at what is happening. It's very brief and strange.

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 21., Backtrack entry

Erik just showed me a vision of Sharon and him in old 19th century clothes. She was holding his hand and walkin down dirt road. And he looks over and says to someone in a wagon, I love my sissy. shes takin me to get candy.

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 22., Backtrack entry

One of the things I've been talking to Robert and a blog member over the past week is the concept of creating "soul homes" to meet our guides half way.

On side note. Eriks been talking to me about how people need to let go of their expectations. They seek validation on their terms. That's the wrong attitude. They need to let go and accept love and guidance on Spirits terms. And to simply accept whatever manifestation and information thst comes. Some times they get so caught up in the excitement of it all, they don't hear the quiet whisper or little symobl in plain sight that will help them raise their feelings back to the path of light.

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 22., Backtrack entry

ps.... I asked Robert and Erik, who of all of us was older. Erik said, Robert. That Robert was older than dirt! And I asked Erik who was born first in the last life time where him and I were brothers. Erik told us this weekend, that during the times we were twins and siblings he was born first. I pouted, because I wanted something to tease him about. But then he said, "well if it makes you feel any better, during the times we were twins, your butt was on my head/face"... Ha ha.. Eriks a butt-head!!!

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 19th., Backtrack entry

So, This week I started a private Q & A with Erik to practice my "Hearing" skills. You know like Kim O'Neil advises. So everytime I have a question, serious or silly, I break open a text file, write it, and then type whatever Erik says. I thought you'd just love the question and answer I just got!

Q--Are you worried about me going snowboarding with you (in spirit someday) and hurting myself? Are you sure you want me there?

A----Are you kidding? Even though you ARE "Captiiiinnnn Clumsy" You will be in Spirit form and wont hurt yourself when you trip over your board! ha ha ha!

Q-------What about Robert?

A ----- Him and you can be snow bunnies together and watch me tear it up! Ha ha ha! I want coco with whip cream when I am done!

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Roberts reply to me about this:

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LOL!! How cute!

Snowboarding sounds so fun! I went skiing in Colorado for half a day and had a blast! It was so easy I thought! Notice I said half a day because I got sick the first day with a terrible sinus infection. It was all my fault. When I was out in the snow, I got so hot I took off my coat and overshirt. That was a mistake!! I spent the entire vacation in bed with a high fever and got better by the last day! That was so much fun to tell people the story of how foolish I was. I thought it was hilarious, after the fact of course. :-). Apparently Erik thinks it was funny too...he's laughing hysterically and showing himself without an a$. teehee...I suppose Erik your saying you are laughing your a$ off, eh? He's saying "Yup! That's f'ing hilarious Dawg!". Jillian's shoving him now and saying how rude he is. He's still laughing...heehee. Go ahead Erik, laugh. It was quite funny actually. :-)

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 19th., Backtrack entry

Here's some interesting conversation. I was telling Robert on the phone this week I've been experiencing an interesting phenomena over the past week or so. Sometimes I feel or think, I can tell when Erik is messing around in Robert's brain. Meaning practicing and getting familiar with neural pathways and the like to get ready for trance. Because when I "tune into" him and talk to him, he replies in Roberts voice. It's totally weird! It's not a constant thing, but periodically happens and it very noticeable to me. I don't know if this is just Eriks way of showing me he's practicing or if he's actually using Roberts brain so to speak. Very odd...

Oh, and today on the bus, I started getting visions of a version of 'me' overlay-ed by Robert and Erik playing with Arleen. You know like welcoming her at the door so to speak. Just going right up to her sitting down on the floor in front of her then saying, "Hi baby girl, I am a friend of Eriks. Give me five!" "He's right next to me, if you give me a big ol' hug he can feel it." Then during the hug we say, " Your such a 'special girl'" don't ever let anyone tell you different." Eriks telling me and I just feel in my bones that it's so, that She has the 'Gift' in a Big way. And that one of the doors she will be able to choose in her life is to continue what you start if she chooses. And that during puberty she will start manifesting this more and to make sure she doesn't get scared. Then as the "We" image holds her up and looks at her, she is back lit by a huge soft light that soaks up everything else around her. And behind her stands a uncountable number of beings of light. Erik is just gushing with love so much I feel like I am drowning in it.

I don't know if this is correct or not, but for the life of me, I don't understand why I have this overwhelming affection for her too. I've only seen a few photos of her before, I would never have guessed I'd see something like that I did this morning. Just looking at photos of Erik and her makes me week in the knees with emotion and I get the same feeling imaging her playing with Robert.

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 19th., Backtrack entry

Oh, and I while I am thinking of it, before I forget again. I wanted to address 2 things mentioned in the past. I don't know if you've read on the Channeling Erik site what Robert and I said about the term "Destiny" or not. But that word as well as ones like "soul mate" and psychic, are fuzzy blanket terms that I and many in Spirit don't care for very much. Because they mean so many different things to different people. And how we perceive them is not how they really are in the wider universe. Just so you know. For example: There are many different types of so called soul mates. People get so wrapped up in the Victorian ideal of romance and expectation that they can't see good situations. For example, I don't feel a very strong soul connection with my spouse like a so called "romantic soul mate". But I really have a lot of love and a great deal and the qualities I value most are loyalty, stability, and moral values. The other fuzzy term I am not fond of is physic. To me that term means knowing the unknown and divination. I find that deplorable. And for my Spirit Teacher that is a Big no-no because it interferes with free-will.

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 20th., Backtrack entry

Practicing Visualizations with Erik

Below is an email exchange between CEF members Jason, Robert and Sharon regarding visualization techniques with Erik. Funny but powerful stuff. If any of you want to act as teams to practice your channeling/visualization techniques, I’m sure Erik would be glad to entertain you. Since he’s very easy to channel (and very, very chatty,) I strongly recommend these exercises!

Email Exchange

On Thu, Nov 18, 2010 at 10:25 AM, Jason wrote:

Erik the Jedi Master- what color is your light saber?

On a lighter note: I offer an amusing email conversation between Jason, Erik, Sharon and in a separate email and phone call to Robert.

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Jason to Robert

11:55 AM Nov. 17th

Ask Erik about light sabers! and ask him for a description of my light saber! ha ha ha!!! (it’s not dirty, I was watching star wars)

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Jason to Sharon

Wed, Nov 17 12:36 PM

Boo! Ha ha! How’s your visualizations going? Any more luck or progress? If you wanna try something funny, Ask Erik about light sabers! and ask him for a description of my light saber! ha ha ha!!! (it’s not dirty, I was watching star wars). Then tell me and I’ll see if you got it right!

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Sharon to Jason

Wed, Nov 17, 1:16 PM

Cool!! I’ll do that this afternoon. I get way weird visuals. While I’m cycling or running I got Erik as a cheerleader! He jumps in the air and swings his arms wildly… Lol! Also, while I’m sitting quietly meditating someone likes to stroke my cheek.. I’m working. I’ll get back to you about the light saber!!!

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Jason to Sharon

Wed, Nov 17, 1:24 PM

That’s F’in awesome Sharron! Last night I was visualizing Erik and Jillian and I as cheerleaders. It started cause Jillian was jokin with me and I said I’d always wanted to be a cheerleader, only it wasn’t for boys and Said I wanted pom-poms! ha ha!! Then Erik put on a dress and started cheering!!!

Those images he gave you are SOOO Erik. He pulls shit like that All the time. He says, “What! Your not the only creative in the family and then he’ll morph his face into something goofy and weird!

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Sharon to Jason

Wed, Nov 17, 2:24 PM

Ok! I’m about to go meditate.. Before I do Erik just played a hilarious trick on me… He added a station to my pandora and fixed it so I couldn’t change the channel!! Lol. The station was weight watchers yogurt! I had —- and his friend —- in the backseat and I’m going, what the hell is this crap!!! So funny. After I was subjected to that for 2 minutes I went back to my music where he played somewhere over the rainbow…. Then —- complained that he didn’t want to hear that either!!! I was laughing out loud.. I always feel a little nuts when I do that and XXXX says, “what”?

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Jason to Sharon

Wed, Nov 17, 2:29 PM

I love “Somewhere over the rainbow and play it a lot” ha ha!

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Sharon to Jason

Wed, Nov 17, 2:51 PM

Ok… Here goes. In the bright light of day words came in to my mind… “Girly, pink, ribbons”. Then I sat in closet and opened my eyes. I asked Erik to send me a vision… This time it was different. I saw a hot pink glow in the dark saber with a matching handle… Lol. Be honest with me… How off am I?

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Jason to Sharon

Wed, Nov 17 2:53 PM

Last night I had every intention of unpacking some boxes, but I ended up eating and watching star wars and falling asleep on the couch. Well, I wanted to go to bed, but Erik made me keep it on for the Yoda fight scene. Sigh…. He wasn’t there, but mentally tuned in still.. He kept making ninja and sword sounds through the whole movie. And every now and then I would be startled with his usual, goofy cometary and yelling. So I said to him,”Hey Erik, what color is your light saber? And he said, RED!,” and I said, what color is mine? And he said, “PINK! with streamers and rine-stones!” ….. Darth powder puff here, Beware the power of the pink force! Ha ha ha!!! Which is really funny cause I think of myself as an old fashioned laid back “good ol boy”. He’s so good at getting us in touch with the inner child.

OMG, I am giggling so much I wanna pee!

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Sharon to Jason

Wed, Nov 17, 3:02 PM

Wow! So my first guess was right! The words in my head were, Girly, pink, ribbons… Aside from rhinestones the words in my head conjured up the same thing!!! So I am doing it! He said streamers. I said ribbons… Same thing.

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Jason to Sharon

Wed, Nov 17, 3:04 PM

BINGO!!! We have a winner! That’s all it takes. Trust- belief- intent- and ‘talkin’! :) Giggle!

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After I got done emailing Sharon, Ha ha!! After I confirmed the visualization with her, Erik came to me and was giving me goosey warm fuzzies all over and just jumping up and down in my mind hugging me, hollering we did it we did it… woo hoo!

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**Robert on the phone said he got the same visuals when he asked Erik!

**He’s (Erik) been so Naughty lately! The day before yesterday I was trying to meditate on the walk across the bridge to the bus stop and he kept popping in with crazy ass antics and visuals. I was trying soooo hard not to laugh and be grinning like an idiot in public! And he just worked harder and started singing, Made you laugh, made you laugh.” hee hee…..

**Oh, and last night on the phone, I asked Erik how come a guy from Texas talks in such a surfer Dude, biker, skater way of talking? Where’s all the cool cowboy gear? And then he show’s Robert and I– him all gussied up in cow poke clothes leaning against the side of a building with a thing of hay in his mouth, big boots, big buckle, big hat. And we were like, WOW, that’s hot Erik! And he said, “Yea, I can line dance with the best of them too!”. ha ha ha!

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LOL! Erik is good at lightening the mood. :-)

I told ya yesterday on the phone that when you asked in an earlier email to get Erik to show me your light saber, he showed me a hot pink one. Then he said “and throw in some jewels for the handle”. I thought that was so funny and got a kick outta hearing you tell me the same thing when we spoke.

I must say that Erik is showing me his Cheerleading routine now, complete with mini skirt and pom-poms. Hey Erik, hairy legs and mini skirts don’t mix! One word for ya Mister, NAIR!! HA! He’s laughing now and giving me the finger. teeheehee…

Lub y’all lots and lots!

Robert

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Thanks for sharing yet even more Erik. at the very least you could refrain from flashing us in ur mini skirt. ha ha!

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 17th., Backtrack entry

Channeling Erik blog member Chrissie had a channeling session via Elisa, and while reading her story/post I had a spontanious visision for her. Here it is below:

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Hi, there Chrissie. Jason here. While reading your story, I started getting images. Honestly this doesn't happen that often and I find I don't trust myself as I should. So I don't know if this is all symbolic, Paul, another relative, or your angels relaying info in a form I can relate with. But I think the advice is worth while. This is all I get, when I try to reach for more, I just see a close up of a fuzzy face and image form that feels super satisfied with the text. ~Jason (apologies if Iam way off base)

A man in beige slacks/pants, a beige zip up coat comes to mind. He shuffles up to me. He's got grey-n-dark brown looking hair and part in it. A mustache keeps flashing in and out of existence on his face, as well as that of thick glasses and a hat/cap. A big fat silver watch on his wrist. Black shiny shoes. A ginormous grin on his face. I find my self wondering if he was a veteran. I keep seeing navy ships and tropical seas flash around him. as well as a cane and walker. Not sure if they are his or not. It's all very faint and flickering. There is a little girl in a dark flowered dress and white collar with long straight hair jumping around him with her arms up as if she wants him to pick her up and hold her.

"My little girl" he says, "My little girl you're worrying too much. Just worry about being a good person. What job will let you do that? Do you want to change the whole world right now? Do you think you can do that? Right now? Or do you want to change peoples lives around you? What around you can you volunteer with that will help you do that? Try this, and meet people this way. See if this type of thing will open doors for you." "You want it all right now, but take your time. Things come to those who ask and plan." "We know what you want but you need to ask and then go look for it.". "You,- finding Erik was no accident. Why did you find it? What do you want to do about that? Don't look for me in dreams. Because I am here with you now. Find the little girl in you and you will find me there waiting for you. I can hear you"" We all love you so much." "Don't give up or get frustrated".

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 17th., Backtrack entry

I Finally started making my own soul place/room. Don't ask me why I took so long. I dunno? hee hee... maybe I just thought I wasn't ready yet. I've tried other peoples in a tentative scared way, but not my own yet. I think Lydia and Roger just got sick of me dilly dallying about. Snort-laugh! So this morning on the bus they made me, moved me to a table. It looked just like my grandparents kitchen table. And they put it in the void and then sat down at it. And as I walked up to it, Roger grabbed my higher self and gave me a big-ol-hug. Then I walked around and sat down. George came over too and got on my lap for a hug. And then they just stared chatting with me. Lydia doesn't care for the void much, so She suggested my grandparents kitchen, I was happy with the void, but she suggested a sunny room. Well, then I thought of my happy moments, which a lot have been in green houses. So I pictured one I like, and we moved the walls about, and the furniture about, Until I got it the way I wanted. Erik came by in a dramatic way trailing wisps of clouds and what not. I said, very cool Erik, very cool. And he's like, Oh yea, that's right. And he plops down next to Lydia who backs away and rolls her eyes at him, while trying to pull her knitting away from him. I get the feeling they enjoy ribbing each other. ha ha...

He wasn't there very long, but they got me to see the two of them in full color, which was good practice. They left me and told me to work on my "space". Kind of an interesting experience. I don't give it justice at all. I am glad Erik mentally showed up. I enjoyed the banter. :)

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 16th., Backtrack entry

I had a facinating experience in Target last night. Erik strongly felt I should buy Robert a video game because he and Robert play them or experience them together. I am not an avid gamer but Robert and Erik enjoy them. It was totally bizare, because I suddenly found myself in the game section. And my ears felt hot and tingely.

On another note, I've often asked Erik and my teachers about "spiritual names", guide names, and the names our higher selves go by. And I've frequently gotten the whole, "names are unimportant speech". It's about feelings not names. Welll.... blah on that. I wanna know what my "real" name is. My Teacher said a name to me, and I've channeled Roberts soul name before. But my other Teacher just said they were a symbol of how old we were in relation to each other as well as other meanings. Again I say, BLAH! I wanna know a pet name or a nick name.... Erik's reply is to call me "old lady!".

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 16th., Backtrack entry

I called in sick to work yesterday. Funny thing about that is I was keeping Robert up too. He kept dreaming about what I was doing. He asked me yesterday before I told him, "Did you have trouble sleeping, I was so frickin tired for no reason, and I had a dream about calling into work sick, and stressing out all over the place". It's kinda funny.

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 16th., Backtrack entry

Over the weekend I learned that an old friend whom I had not had any contact with in years and years had suicide'd from an overdose. That she had been battling addiction for many years. Towards the end she had reached out to a couple of old friends and thus her death was quite a shock to the friends. When I first heard I was deeply saddened. But also really sad that the connection had been let go of and lost all those many years ago. I didn't know her very well, but back then I was so fond of her. I looked up to her for her independent and creative spirit. And she was a part of the core group of friends, through who's presence helped hold me while I underwent my own trauma.

When I first read the letter of her death, I confess I was a little scared about her possible visit. As you know I am still new to all this and felt intimidated about the unknown and how to possibly handle it or what I should and shouldn't do. But like so much of late; Spirit came a knocking. My sadness, feelings of fondness and thoughtful recognition zeroed in on her like a beacon and she looked up and noticed. Then,- she was right there. In a hind-sight vision-- she asked my guides and my Angles to help bring her through. They were holding her back until I was in a state of mind to receive her.

She came to me. She looked just how I remembered her. Only her image flitted between youth and middle age; and told me she didn't mean to go like that, it's just she was wanting an escape and overdid it. And that she was OK now. Sad, and tired, but at peace and healing.

I confess it kind of startled me. I wasn't expecting it. And I was scared of an attachment situation. I didn't even think to ask Erik to go to her. Because I sometimes feel like I am a burden and don't want to burden him more. I was scared that I would have been asked to relay or do something that I wasn't ready for. So much else was going on this weekend Spiritually and with family that I was distracted in the extreme. It took Roberts help to re-center me emotionally so that I could pass along all the messages I need to from this weekend.

A dear friend emailed me and told me that it would be good to introduce Erik to my departed friend. A thought,-- like I said, I'd not entertained before...

So on today's Spirit "Walk and talk", one of the things my Teacher and Erik talked to me about was my friend. And that friend showed up and said that Erik had already met her. That she was very grateful that I had known her and so when my soul called to her that she heard, and had the opportunity to meet Erik. She gave me a message of love and friendship to pass along. Saying that Erik's been talking to her all about "US", and that she would never be a burden to me. That she would be waiting for me and our old friends, for when we passed to be reunited all together, so she could show and express her love.

Erik said and told me to tell everyone on the site the following:

"We in Spirit (all of our guides, Angels, and loved ones); We have your backs even when you are not paying attention; when you forget; when you can't remember; when you are not even aware; When you are scared -- We have your backs. We love you and know you, and wish for the success of all your loved ones in the now and hereafter.--No one-- No one is lost. All have the capacity to find love and light and be reunited with their loved ones. The journey is not just about the there and now for -you but, also for your loved ones waiting for you."

Lots of love,

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 16th., Backtrack entry

One of the channeling Erik blog members posted online about a dream she had. I said I would try to find answers, and in doing so I had a vision. Below is my reply to the blog member

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Jason to S.

SO I left the building and went for my walk. As I left, I grounded, connected, opened up and cleansed, sheilded, then offered thanks. As I traveled along the bluff, I then whishpered your name and then your question.

I asked my guides, Angels, Teachers, and Erik if any of them could address your question.

Much to my surprise it was not Erik who answered. It was one of my Teachers. He said it was symbolism for your beliefs and perceptions relating to the path of the Botisatva. That it was up to you to discover the meaning as it pertained to your journey. He also mentioned that you might want to explore tonal sounds and harmonics in association with animals around you as it pertains to your dreams.

I asked Erik, "Huh? I don't get it". Erik said, "Exactly, it's about the journey and undergoing the next stage".

Then at that point I was at the river and I was comming up upon a very large flock of canadian geese. I didn't want to startle them and so I tried to project calm and love their way so I could walk by without disturbing them. So I was totally engrossed in that. Then afterwards,

Another teacher of mine came through and said essentially the same thing. But He then asked me if I'd like to speak to your guides. I said yes, and then projected the request for facilitation of your guides. Here is the vision they showed me.

My vision went blank and in my minds eye I saw a human in a dark void. There were beings of light around it. I want to say there were 4-8. But their light was so bright I couldn't tell. It blurred them out and into each other. The human kept flickering between male, female, old, young. And I got the gut feeling that it represented you. You were holding a large orange cat who kept flicking it's tail. Around you were multiple animals and a couple of birds. They all jumped about and milled around. Around the entire group was a huge orange yellow crakled shield that rotated and humed with a single tone. Out side of it were monsters. Your guides said you needed to decide how you were going to deal with Maya. Internal or external.

That's it. I dont' really get it. I told my sprit group that and they said it wasn't up to me to explore it all that I was just to report.

Erik says that there are current pop cultural references to the phrase, but it was up to you to figure out how you might relate to them if at all.

I dunno. This was a hard one for me. I wish I could just pull the answer out of the air for you. Between you and me, I am not fond of symbolism. I'd rather have one of my guides lecture me on proper behavior. I even dislike puzzel solving.

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 15th., Backtrack entry

Here is what Erik says about how some family relationships can turn out.

"yea man, it's about spiritual intent. Not destiny, we make our own destiny, but you and Sharon did plan on having the same kind of parental relationships". "You needed to get out the nest to be able to fly free", "Both of your moms have played relationship villains to you" "The trick is to understand that primary role was intended to serve you in teens and 20's. But it will still linger now if you let it. So you both just need to let it go and let it roll over you as much as possible. Just show love, smile and let it wash over you and forget it."

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 15th., Backtrack entry

The spiritual physical senstations that Erik gives Robert, Sharon and I are increasing.

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 12th., Backtrack entry

Erik told Ceridwen the reason she's not a "kid person" in this life is that when she was our father one of the times when we were twins, that he was such a pain in the neck that it's HIS fault that she feels that way about kids in this life! LOL! He may have been joking...hard to say sometimes with him! HeeHee...

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 15th., Backtrack entry

I had the interesting experience in being able to have Erik help me pass along a message to my close work friend. Her mother had passed away. When I had first started channeling my guide Roger I had asked about her mother and had recieved a vision about it. But, at the time I was told not to say anything until I was a little more deveoloped because at the time I would not have been able to answer any ensueing questions. But this time I was able to get more information through Robert, Erik and rechanneling her mother and grandmother. Since then I have had up through Jan. 2011 have had several more interactions with my coworkers mother including which she offered to help me with automatic writing in the future.

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 11th., Backtrack entry

I have a message from Erik for those in the "Family".

Remember how Robert and I talked about Erik learning different ways of manifesting himself?

Well he's been practicing what I think is called independent direct voice. using energy to create physical manifestations. Meaning sound outside of the head. Although whether or not this can be heard by more than oneself is not in my knowledge right now. What I mean is that the sound will appear to be outside of oneself unlike telepathy.

Remember how I told you the other day I heard him calling my name in the room to me from a distance.

Well, last night I asked my guides and Erik if this week, could I have a dream where him and Jil and I were all hanging out. And then remember it the next morning.

But at the time I was thinking, well.. A dream. But what happened is:

Around 4 am. I was awoken by a loud noise and a garbled voice. I was so startled that I woke up immediately. And I thought, Sh*t that was Erik. I wasn't expecting a Lucid dream.

Then around 5:30 I was awoken by the softer sound of music with Erik's voice over it. (it was NOT my alarm. That goes off at 6 am and is classical music, this was NOT). He was giving me detailed instructions for hearing him right after the time of deep sleep when I got back from "astral-out of body travel" and waking. Some of which I can't recall because I wasn't expecting it. He told me to lay on my right side and listen between 4- and 5 am. Something about facing south and to "Expect a sound or music" and know it might be him. And to instead of being startled to accept it and let it happen. Try as hard as I could to remain calm at first noise, and keep my eyes closed. To try and let my breath be steady and calm, and go within myself at first noise. Then to acknowledge with soft quiet thought the visit and softly listen.

Then today on my walk I "walked and talked" with my Teacher and he said that it was indeed Erik and I asked if I could tell you. And he said yes, it was intended as a message for the "family". I asked if I could check with and ask Erik and he said of course. And so I did, and Erik confirmed. Saying, "Dude, tell mom. Tell her to keep an ear out but not to expect it, chill as much as you can, cause I wanna try a few things out". "Practice". I asked him to clarify the mornings message. But he said, "No, I am not gonna cause I want you to learn to remember and practice giving into the experience without fear or expectation and then share it".

And he and my Teacher talked to me about it for the rest of the walk. When they were done I was buzzing in so much energy, my head was litterly swimming and I felt slightly dizzy. I knew this was all correct.

So, yea. I just need to pass that along. Please let me know if you or anyone else hear these things. It was "his" voice. And it sounded externally in the room to me. Not in my head like telepathy.

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 9th., Backtrack entry

I thought you might apprieciate this.

I was feeling a little blue this morning. And so I connected to spirit and wrote a little note to Erik. I thought I'd share it with you. It felt good to get the feelings out.

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Dear Erik,

I write this note, because I can't help feeling somewhat lost and in pain, out of sorts. I am sure I just suffer from a bad attitude. I've made this spiritual reconnection with you that has bleed over into my physical reality. This brotherhood and friendship that feels just like family that is way more intense, in knowing, in feeling, in spiritual knowledge, thought and interaction than my present earthly family. But at the same time there is the huge gulf and divide that seems to prevent me from interacting in our relationship in the way I want. What I mean by that is; when I read about your most recent life from Elisa or hear Robert mention stuff I didn't know about you; I get upset and feel left out. It hurts cause I feel like your right there and I SHOULD know all about you, everything. But I know NOTHING about you from your last life on earth. And your not telling. I know that's not fair and ridiculous. You've told me my primary concern and commitment HAS to be my present life NOW. That I was put into this life for a reason and I HAVE to see it through. But dang it, Its soo freakin hard. Knowing what I know and knowing I have to wait. I feel like I wanna to throw a tantrum. And I know you hate that, and have gone over this over and over again with me in the past. I seem to like to savor my bad behaviors....I guess what threw me just now was reading about how much your mom said you loved playing guitar and how good you were. And I got upset and sad that I didn't know that. Or have never seen you play. And then I thought about all the stuff I don't know and or can't remember about you. AND then I felt like pouting.

Sigh... I am ok. I just had to get that out. All I can say is you better keep your promise to meet me at the end of all this and give me the biggest hug! HA!

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I shared with Robert, and in reply, Erik said;

"Erik says he only holds back because he loves you so, but it's hard as hell to do so. He says, though, that if ya wish to know stuff about his most recent life all ya have to do is ask. :-) One thing I've come to realize is that those in Spirit feel the details of physical existence aren't important. What is important are the positive emotions we feel for ourselves and sharing them with others."

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 9th., Backtrack entry

So we are on our first week in the new place now, and still moving bit by bit. We are about 80% done. Things are kind of chaotic though. Making me slightly distracted with moments/breathers of clarity....And I've had a couple new odd Spiritual experiences I've found interesting.

At first I thought it was my imagination, but I am pretty sure it's not. I get the impression through visual stimuli; impressions, and thoughts; and physical touches on different areas of my head that spirits in the 2 neighborhoods that our 2 homes are in and I get the impression that spirits are checking out the progress of the move.

Our Teacher and my guides tell me I have nothing to fear. That my house is guarded. Erik told me he and the guides are touching me in different areas so that I don't become complacent to touch and they insist that rather than let the touching disturb me, that as soon as I feel something that they want me to connect with them and ask who it is. And when I do that our Teacher has told me, "Don't worry, your OK." But kind of left it up to me to try to figure out who touched me. It's hard, because I've been so distracted. And have come to rely too much on specific skin locations to tell which of my guides and teachers and spirits are there. But they are mixing it up.

It's hard to take a breather and focus my spirit to figure it out. Also I know Spirits are checking me out because at the new home, my old neighbor lady (spirit) has stopped by a few times and actually spoken to me about it and commented, "Looking good". And last night at the old apartment I could see a spirit or two walking around looking about. I didn't connect to guides then because I was so busy and distracted, which was bad cause then the situation slightly disturbed me.

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 8th., Backtrack entry

It's been my great pleasure over the past few weeks to have met and begun a friendship with Channeling Erik blog member Sharon. As I mentioned she Erik and I have shared past lives as siblings. She is able to channel Erik and his soul mate Jillian. Jillian was Sharons mother in a past life. Together they have been deveoloping Sharons abilities. We also frequently just chat about life in general. Even at it's most caotic time. I once told her, I find at life's craziest or when I am ill; that my attunement to them dissolves into fuzz. Voices loose individuality, images become chaotic, and physical and visual experiences turn confusing. I've had that happen while talking to Robert on the phone. Erik described it as him "Trying to scream at me through a pillow".

But even so; "They" want you to know they haven't gone anywhere and are still around. So when life overwhelms you know it's not overwhelming them; meaning they are still there for you and will be waiting for you. I've often said to Erik, How come I didn't feel you around?! And his reply was, "I was waiting for you to calm down, Like I wanted to watch you have another hissy fit. The whole point of this life is to rely on your loved ones in this life and ask your guides and angels for help and then keep an eye out for any help that might come your way."

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 8th., Backtrack entry

Over the weekend I tripped on the stairs carrying a wash pail of Drano bottles as part of our house move. Well the pail went end over end and hit the basement landing and the biggest bottle of liquid plumber burst open on the carpet. At that point it was totally "Muppet masterpiece theater" and I was beaker! The only thing handy was a table cloth in the laundry room so I grabbed it and tried to mop it up. In the process I burned my hands; which are still slightly uncomfortable. I am such a goon! To make matters even funnier, the next night I accidentally slammed my head into the edge of the car trunk door!

Every night this week was running around. After work I ran over to the old apartment to try and fill my dad's SUV up with more stuff. We still have the office to clear out. That's were we keep our computer and craft/sewing area. My spouse has a ton of yarn and junk in there. Then I had to run home; unload; then run off to Target for yet more stuff we forgot; run home; make dinner; and collapse.

We have to try and assemble house by Friday because my in-laws are coming down from Lake Superior to "help". Sigh.... They are bringing their 3 Irish Setter dogs with them.

Erik's been scarce the past week. According to Robert, he told him that he would "be good" while I was moving. Which is funny because when he's not around I start bitching and whining. And then when I calm down, I get the lecture...

" Dude, I can still hear you, if only you'd stop freaking out all the time and actually listen you'd remember that!" But he does make an effort to mentally connect wherever he is from time to time, when I am alone and in a more peaceful state of mind. For example, last night while driving; An Usher song came on and he and I and Jillian shared a vision of him break dancing to it. Then when he'd mess up and fall, Jillian would start dancing and trying to get me involved and cheer me up.

Sharing visions with Spirits is fun once one gets the hang of it. They are not necessarily there in our 'present' dimension, but they project their thoughts and mind to yours, which creates something just like a vivid dream, only your awake. And they and you can interact in it. You can also talk this way. It's very wonky cause a lot of people will think, "oh,your just daydreaming". Well the thing is thought creates reality, in all dimensions. And if your aware of this, and aware of Spirits and believe and want to communicate with them, they and you can use this method to communicate. Erik and others can show you things via real time, or via symbols or via thoughts. Erik has done this with me in addition of actually effecting my real time world. For example. One time I was having a freak-out and couldn't watch a movie. So I went down stairs to do laundry or something. When I came back up, Erik had turned out the light. A twist switch! And at the same time I got one of those waking vivid dreams images of him in a big bean bag chair in my living room. He turned his head to me and said, your ruining the movie!".... So keep an eye out for mental imagery combined with other stuff. I know for a fact you get some of it. I just want to reassure you that you are not making it up in your head. It's real! Mind to mind communications are about subtle energy transference in ways that we fleshy humans will recognize.

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 6th., Backtrack entry

A few weeks ago, Robert and I met fellow blog member Ceridwen. She is a Rieki master and astrologist and a memeber of the reformed druid movement; She is also a past life regresionist and lives on the west coast. We started communicating after we felt a strong metaphysical connection. We all believe we have had quite a few past life connections. We've started talking about them on the phone and email with each other.

Here's an example. I write to her in an email:

Jason to Ceridwen

Hey Ceridwen..

Just a quick note. Moving house is still kinda chaotic right now. We spent our first night in the new place last night. So far so good. So I took a look at this email first thing this morning in bed after waking up. I'll revisit at a later time to try and see if I get anything else. I am pretty much a newbie at this sort of thing. So take it with a grain of salt so-to-speak. My previous 3 visions about past lives with people were given to me, or in one case Erik flat out just told me. But no details were given in any of them. That may simply be because I didn't take the time or do the proper connection to figure it out more. Or simply ask.

OK, quick morning impressions:

past lives, the 3 of us. I've not been given any visions or words about past lives in regard to Robert. But then I didn't ask, and my gut tells me there will be time for that later.

But as it pertains to you and I; I did get some imagery.

- One vision of me as a little girl with long sandy blond curly hair in a white nightie running around a living room squealing. And you were a grown up woman in a long prairie type old time dress with a bonnet on, and you were clapping your hands and singing to me, while I ran around the room.

- Another vision of the two of us as females dressed in Victorian style clothing marching down a city street. No idea which continent. I have no idea why.

-and the 3rd vision feels really old and again I have no idea where this is. But I am male and a teen. And you are a middle aged woman. You feel like my teacher and that I serve you in some capacity. I am in a brown rough course robe, and you are dressed in a white wool robe. Your hair is long and braided. We are barefoot. I am carrying a brown vessel of some sort on a pole and following you. It is dark and outside. I cant tell where. And we are walking to a ring of fire in the distance.

That's all I got for now. No words from Erik on it.

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Then here is what Robert said in response:

Robert to Ceridwen:

Let's see...past lives...umm kay...ceridwen...you have been my student many times...the earliest I am seeing is back at the dawn of Druidism in I believe Gaul. I was a leader of the movement and you were a recent convert. You were fascinated with the premise and eager to learn all you could. You even sacrificed your favorite daughter to prove your loyalty to the faith. You were male in that life. After the loss of your daughter, your wife became so distraught she "went mad" and threw herself off a cliff near your home. Your were so entranced by the faith none of that phased you. Eventually you became my understudy and took my place after I died. In another later time, I was your father. This appears to be during the middle ages. We had a relationship of conflict. I was a harsh man then and took great pleasure demeaning you. You were broken by the experience and wandered aimlessly searching for meaning in life. In that life, I played the bad guy for the experience and to help you (as well as I) evolve. Jason was one of my children as well...he was a daughter and your were my son. You were not a strong boy/man physically because of a problem during your birth and I resented both you and your mother. I blamed her for having an "incomplete" child and harbored ill will towards you for not being able to do "a man's work". Jason was the favored child and whom I lavished praise upon. He married a close friend of mine and Ceridwen lived with you. Jason tried to protect you from me and one of the stipulations for his hand in marriage was that you be part of the deal. You were the older brother to Jason. I mentioned you wandered aimlessly in that life...by that I mean you were unable to hold down work and so felt without purpose, so you turned inward. In yet another life, I was a professor of theology and you were my student. Again you were male, as was I. This was during the 1700's somewhere in Europe. You were enamored with me and felt "impure thoughts" towards me. You took the risk of acting on them and I didn't turn you down...much to your surprise. I had always been attracted to men in that life, but you assumed because of my being a theologian I would never venture down that road. We had a brief fling, but it ultimately ended amicably. We were life long friends and afterward you married and had twin sons...these boys were Jason and Erik! Wow! They were closest of friends....both of them attended the same school of theology as you and were also my students. I never made a move on them, as I was rather old by then and also wouldn't dare do such a thing to my best friend. heehee...this is really cool! I never knew we four were all together during the exact same time period. Very neat! In the late 1800's here in the states I was a school teacher...I taught grade school and was a woman. You were also a teacher during this time, but in a town not far away. You were also female and we were acquaintances. You would make the journey to my town for updates with me on how to teach various subjects. You and I were both very respected. Your husband at the time was El. Jason was not around, but Erik was a student of mine. He was rambunctious vow and didn't like having to answer to a woman who wasn't his relative. I was constantly having to give him whacks with the ruler for disturbing the class. He had a crush on you. He noticed you when you came to visit me. He was very young and you were already married to El. We both know he liked you and would often giggle about it. :-)

That's all I can muster...I hope what Jason and i've provided has helped. I learned some stuff in the process. Intriguing...I suppose your guides or mine thought this would be good for all three of us and put the thought in your head to ask. You asked how I pull this information....It isn't from Erik or my guides. Erik's saying I am able to tap into my higher self to get this stuff. He says I do that easily and most of what I relay to others is provided to me that way.

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(Jump forward entry-- Jan. 5th., 2011)

We've had several of these types of conversations via phone and email. Everything from further expanding on these so called past life visions, to discussing other past lifes and practicing visualizing and learning about our guides. For me; Some of the other interesting aspects of past lives is Robert and I also had visions of all of us in Roman Europe. As plantaion slaves, as living in celtic villages, and one of Ceridwen's past lives as putting me to death for stealing. I had one vision of her having me downed for it. Which in my mind explaines my irrational fear of water, even though I can swim.

We also discussed other past life visions shared with Erik. Including one where I was a little girl and Erik was my father. Erik had a brain hemerage or stroke and fell off a cliff and left us behind. We had to see his body after the fall. This is where Erik got his fear of leaving people behind and sense of responsibility. It also is where I get my fear of loved ones leaving me and fear of looking over cliff edges. Which is silly because I used to be an avid hiker.

Another interesting development is that we discovered that one of my main spirit guides; Lydia, is one of Robert's romantic soul mates and was married to him in a recent past life. And Erik and I were their kids. And in another twist Erik and Lydia also have past life connections.

In addition to this, channeling blog member Sharon and I have past life connections to Erik. As siblings.

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 8th., Backtrack entry

Erik gets a kick out of the past life visions and discussions. Here is a letter I wrote to Ceidwen and Robert that shows some humor.

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Jason to Ceridwen and Robert

Good morning my dear friends. Hope this email finds you both well at the beginning of another work week. As per usual I'd rather be drinking coffee watching the sun rise rather than at the computer. HA! I am not a morning person.

I like the name Ceridwen came up with for me. (Soul Seer) It made me giggle. I was reading your emails on the bus. And at first I visualized me with the name 'soul seer' and I thought, "If that's my name I want a cloak and hood and a cane; and saw myself as an old man" and underneath my robes I am all shiny and sparkly like a butterfly." But Erik was making 'VOMIT' sounds to that image. So then I started thinking of the three of us as the 3 old croans from 'clash of the titans'. And I was making a fuss about; "Where's my eye?, Who has my eye!? -- Robert!, Get my eye out of your mouth! -- It's still my turn to hold the eye!" And Ceridwen hollers, "NO, It's my turn!".... ha ha ha..!

This past life thing is a total trip! I was mulling over ideas like that on the bus this morning with Erik and one of my Spiritual Teachers-(spirit). And I was pondering my place in relation to all of the people in my life. How we just seem to leapfrog through time. Often together, often one over the other. Always watching out for each other. Eyes forward, backward, under and below and a hand-slap on the way. Each place we land time and space ripple out and back as reflections of ourselves. In pools of colored waters always looking for the next place to land.

Since this Spiritual awakening, for me over the past year I've thought about concepts like this from time to time. I've never sought out information for myself as I've always had this overwhelming inner voice that said to me, the past didn't matter as it was my here and now that was important. But then at the same time I would get these weird visual flashes of myself in places I didn't understand.

For example; I get the overwhelming feeling that Erik and I have been twins more than once and as different genders. As well as regular siblings. In fact, he's given me at least 4 different visions of us together and one with another blog member as our older sister. And as well we were other family members to each other. But also as other relationships. For example I had a vision of him as a Viking and capturing me as chattel as a little boy to serve in his household. Then there are other images I get that I find interesting. I know I've been in academia and theological or religious environments ALOT. As well; I've been a slave and prostitute a number of times. I have a distinct vision of me as a female prostitute in 2 different time periods and as a male in the Italian Renaissance. And as a Roman slave several times. I've also had visualizations of my death. Which is really creepy. I know I've drown before. I know I've been 'scarificed by drowning before; drowned in sinking ship; And I've been beaten to death; stabbed; run over by a horse. Killed in battle, killed by raiders; as well as all the usual more types. YEa...... I know.. Creepy.

Given that, I also have a very strong reaction of distaste associated with reincarnation. But it's kinda like the feeling one gets from getting off a roller coaster that makes you sick. You just can't wait to get off; and, when you step off, you say to yourself, "Whew! I am so glad that's over with-- YUK". I told that to one of my Spiritual Teachers-(Spirit) this morning on the bus and he said after much laughter, "Your reaction is because you've always been like that. You can't stand forgetting your true nature beyond the flesh. It drives you crazy to loose the connection. That's why you come back in so many spiritual livelihoods. This time around you requested to keep your Spiritual awareness."

In fact I was complaining to Erik's Jillian about this, and she said, "YAaa. Why do you think I am not on earth with you now, I needed a break too!" So I guess it's a pretty common feeling, it's just most people don't remember. And our attitudes change as soon as we get our full perspectives back after death.

Well right now I am treasuring my bad attitude and miss my etherialness. HA HA... I want my pretty shiny sparkle light body back! Enough of this fleshy body!! LOL!! ha ha.... Erik is making retching sounds again. ....

And as for this life. The Spirit world is pretty excited about this period in history (around the wheel) as far as our technology goes. That's because it is the beginning of virtual information sharing. Where the sharing of Spirituality is not inhibited by boarders.

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 3rd., Backtrack entry

we bought a dehumidfier last night, but then had to exchange it cause it was broken. We also bought some door mats, and baby gates for dogs, and a mail box. We should be moving the food and bed this weekend.

Tonight my friend A. and I are riding the new bus route there and I am going to try and foist off a bunch of household stuff we no longer want on her. :)

Last night I was pestering Erik and Jen to give Robert hugs from me, and it just devolved into threats and teasing of him sitting on me-shoving his stinky socks in my face and tickling me. I told him we should all have a heavenly bean bag chair so we all can watch movies. So he showed me a giant bean bag chair with Jen in the middle of him and me. I said, "but where is Robert going to sit?" And the chair got bigger. Then I said, "But where is mom (Elisa) going to sit?" The we argued about who then had to lay across laps to make room, and Robert ended up on the floor. ha ha...

That was just via the Etherial grid. He wasn't actaully with me per say for the past few days. I know he's been spending time with mom (Elisa) and his grandma. I told S. as such. And assured her that Erik could still hear her even though she felt detached so to speak.

Anywhoo.......

Robert also mentioned he and his grandma were spending time together when she was asleep.

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 3rd., 2nd backtrack entry

Erik told Robert that he's learned some new ways of manifesting. But that Erik wouldn't tell him what that means.

I asked Erik and he just said, "I am not telling you, it's a surprise; I'll leave it for you to guess".

What I forgot to tell you guys was........

This Monday, I was awoken in the morning to a male calling my name. It kinda sounded like it was coming from a paper towel tube. Kinda soft and hollow sounding. I have a sneaky suspicion that it was Erik.... But then again, maybe not. I've woken up to voices before, but not anyone calling my name. I asked Erik if it was him and I only sense giggling. Sooooo.... Be on the lookout for our dear boy sneaking about houses to jump out and say hi in some new way!

Robert said he is afraid of Erik's manifestations as his mental image projections can be so startling and clear, as well as quite irreverent and hillarious.

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 4th., Backtrack entry

Robert wrote me,

"The path to enlightenment is not a path at all, it's actually a metaphor for the time it takes for you to allow yourself to be happy with who you already are, where you're already at, and what you already have - no matter what. "

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 4th., Backtrack entry

Robert and I were talking about Erik visiting his grandmother while she was asleep. The visions of that were quite remarkable. Robert, I blew up the photos Elisa sent us big. It was definately his current grandma. She waved at me and giggled!! And when she told me to go to sleep she pointed at me.... I will never forget it. It was like Eriks personality in woman form! And he just sat there next to her with his arm around her and had the biggest grin on his face. We are 100% sure of it. No doubt what-so-ever.

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 4th., Backtrack entry

A fellow Channeling Erik blog member Leo, wrote me about a personal 'visit from Erik'. Here's the email log.

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Leo to Jason

Jason, just had a visit from Erik and he's up to his tricks. He had Linda throwing down handfuls of M&Ms. She figured out it wasn't her digging into them and Erik said "Busted" He truly gets into his junk food. Ever since Linda told him that our Spirit Teacher gets spice cake Erik's been working on Robert and probably you as well. Quite an amusing conversation, not sure who's funnier him or S. Erik said he had to meet S. after all he's heard about him. Erik called him an old man, said he's probably older than the universe.

Jason to Leo

HA HA!!! Erik was on the phone with me and Robert when you sent this email and started laughing like crazy as I was reading this email to Robert!!!

Robert's talked to S. and he poped into to say something funny to Robert while we were on the phone! Erik said something about him being really old, and S. said something in return. I didn't hear it but the description was really funny.

Robert and I were just chatting about silly stuff while I was taking a break from packing.

hee hee, too funny! He pesters Robert about Junk food all the time. But I like junk and fried food, so he only speaks up when the really good stuff comes out; like rice crispy bars and the like! :)

You should have seen the vision he gave me when we were making coco crispy and fruity pebbles marshmellow bars; It was like reliving babysitting an 8 year old! Big bowl in front of the TV. It was so cute!

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 5th., Backtrack entry

As I mentioned in earlier entries, I was introducded to Meher Baba after Erik met with him. And have recieved guideance from him. In addition to recent introductions with fellow blog members Linda and Leo's Spirit Teacher (a Spiritual Master) who is now also a channeled mentor of mine; This morning I added another spirit master who also communicates with Robert.

And he started talking to me at work! He said he'd not brought himself into my awareness before because I was too afraid before now.

And you know what the funny thing is..... I've heard his voice several times earlier in my life, but just thought my imagination was going wild and my mind running amuk!

Who it is doesn't matter. I just wanted to mention it. When I talk about or use the term "Teacher" in these journals I am refering to one of these 2 entities. I am vauge about it because they guide other people as well, and it is not up to me to call attention to them or their actions unless asked. Very much like a doctor patient priviledge. And in Linda and Leo's case, it is up to them to set the time table if at all that our Teacher is presented online.

In fact I could and well... I intend at some point in my life to write a whole other journal about comunication with them. This communication is concurant and interwoven closely with Erik, Robert and I. But I am holding off until Linda's books come out and she gives guideance on such.

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 6th., Backtrack entry

Erik is messing with my cell phone and computer.

My phone just went haywire. It wont disconnect from the internet and wont turn off. I am not sure what to do. I think he likes mucking about with stuff to figure out how they work.

I read the latest from Elisa's blog. I feel just terrible. I hope she is ok. I wanted to try and reply and maybe see if Erik would say anything through me. But, my Teacher came to me as I was driving just a while ago and told me not to get involved. That I had to stay out of it. And then gave me several reasons etc.

So, I then was worried about Elisa, because I never found out what was wrong in the family life and started thinking that maybe I'd not heard back from her because I'd offened her in one of my emails or something. But I am just going to trust Erik to tell me if that was the case. I have to just go with the flow so to speak. I guess.

I am ok. My mind is just all over the place the past few days. Meeting and Talking to the other Teacher; and my old deceased co-worker stoped by to briefly visit again. And then Erik has been distant and busy, and so I worry cause I am not used to that. Even though he tells me why, it was still getting use to it. But Jillian stopped by to tell me he sends his love, so that made it better.

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12/23

Jason's Channeled Q &A notebook entry

Dear Erik,

Hi brudder. just me again. Don't have much to say this morning. Am feeling kinda melancholy. Just enjoying listening to some music. Thinking about the holidays. Lazy; thinking about just chillin with family, the trip up north. Even so, my thoughts turn to you all, and those here and else where. Gotta try to get my thoughts off that and into the present here and now. Gotta try to live in the here and now. Trying to change that feeling of I belong elsewhere to I belong here and now...I miss my real family.

E---You've got to live now. Suck it up, shut up and just live.

When you look at me, what do you see? Do you see me for who I am? Do you see what I have forgotten? Do you see me when I remember? Do you see me as when I remembered? Or do you see me in the future on the day I will remember. I feel something coming, but I don't know what. I can hear it approaching. It rumbles under my skin. I am tryin not to be afraid. It's dark in here. I can't see you. Where did you go. I know your near. I can feel you near. Can you see me? Do you know what I look like? Do you know where I am going?

E---I see you, I see you for you. We all do. None of it matters, none of it. Just go, Love yourself and don't look away. Just love and live. Where you are going, who you were, what will be, doesn't matter. Just be real and live now. That's what matters. Not that other shit. Just live now- like you want to be. Life is about figuring out who you always were. Remember and become what you remember. How you feel about that? You will want that. Figure that out, and you will want it and be it.

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 3rd Jason to Elisa:

Hey Elisa,

I just wanted to let you know in addition to that voice I told you about this morning. Eriks been messing with My and Matthew's cell phones more. Texting without words. Beep notifications without messages. Matthew thinks his phone is going to the toilet. I just grin like an idiot and laugh and think "no not the toilet, just a potty mouthed boy!" I laugh, Cause this stuff NEVER happened until last week or so. Every message I get from his phone with no text I hear guaffing laughter in my head. And blog member Sharon, has been communicating with Erik via her music stations. She and him have this thing where once a night she tells him to pick a song to play with a message for him. But that if she has the station set to easy listening or like Sarah McGlauclin? that he wont pick anything. So sometimes nothing happens, but if she switches to a "cool" station, she'll ask a question and a song with a message for her pops up. Her guides/angels are helping in that situation. He says he's been doing this to remind people that he's still thinking of them while he spends a lot of his energy with you and grandma.

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 2nd

Chain of emails and between Jason an Elisa:

Jason to Elisa

Morning Elisa.

Hope you are doing ok.

I had a most fascinating visual last night while trying to get to sleep. I was laying in bed complaining to Erik and any other of the Ethereal gang who would listen about life. I was pretty sore and tired from moving stuff. And slightly feeling sorry for myself. Anyways, my vision washed over and I saw Erik and his grandma together. I am sure it was just a visual Erik sent me to 'show' me what he's been up to and not in real time. But I dunno. I saw her and him sitting up in a bed like you would for watching tv. He was practically sitting in her lap. She was wearing some sort of night gown and I couldn't see her features very well but, her body glowed with this white aura, and there was some kind of corona that surrounded the top of her head and flared back into the wall. It moved when she moved. Erik looked the same as he always does. They were grinning and I sensed that she was practically giggling with joy. And the waves of happiness from the both of them rolled over me and there was no doubt who she was. They were looking at me, and she turned to Erik and said, "Oh, he's cute!". And Erik started snorgling and laughing. I can't remember what I said to them, but she said, "And you, should go to sleep!". and then they both turned to me and gave each other a high five and started laughing. And then it went away.

I wonder if she'll report on any of her dreams and if she'll remember her visits with Erik.

Lots of love,

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Elisa to Jason

So cool! Do you think it was my mom or "Bestemor" who is his deceased paternal GM? I'll attach pics.

Love you, Sweetness

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Jason to Elisa

hmmm... I don't know and Erik is not saying. He's got his lips shut and shaking his head giggling.

Lately I've been leary of how people look in my minds eye visions as with Emily it was more symbolic that I was prepared for.

But honestly she looked a lot like the older lady in the last picture. Very much like that in the face. In my vision she appeared to have long white hair too. but I was too lacking inconfidence to say that. I think her night gown had flowers on it too. blue and pink. And I wanna say her hair alternated between being pulled back and flowing free.

I am pondering the faces in the photos and the top 2 don't seem recongizeable to me. The 3rd photo triggers the memory.

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**Side note. Robert confimed it was Accurate. It was Elisa's mom.

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Nov. 2nd: Hi Elisa,

Hope you and your family are doing well and are open to the love and peace we are all sending your way. I've been thinking a lot about you and your family and parents/ mom. Robert may have already told you, or Erik told you himself. He's been with you guys most of the weekend.

I kept pestering Erik and Jen over the airwaves to give you and Robert hugs from me. I know Erik's been a busy boy between you all and everyone else. I just had a funny image in my head of me and him in big rig trucks yammering at each other over CB radio.... ha ha... :) I'll say, "Hey Erik, what are all you guys up to? Is everyone OK?" And he'll reply, "Breaker-breaker, Erik here. I am headin to Mom from Roberts-- Over."... ha ha...

Are you voting today? We are voting for govener. I told Erik that I don't like any of the canadites, and I said I was going to write his name in. He'd like to say "That a vote for him is a vote for us all" .... ha ha..

My weekend was exaughsting. Well, mostly just from stress more than anything. Although my forearms were a little sore from boxes, but I am totally fine. We did about 2 or 3 tralier loads of boxes. Did some cleaning. I think I must have vacumed up enough dust and hair to make a dog... My dad installed a garage door opener, but we had to have a repair guy out to replace the springs and wire. I got some of the kitchen unpacked. I am looking forward to the day we can afford to replace the kitchen. It's very 1980's. Craft and country. I am just used to bigger cabinets to fit all our do-dads and gizmos.

Matt is meeting the locksmith and window estimater today. And he'll be painting and carpet cleaning this week. We got garbage service already. I am super excited to have new recycling. We don't have to sort. We just toss it all in one bin.

Well, I should go and start thinking about work.

Lots of love!

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

Oct. 30th

@ Robert, ---Elisa, Hi Mom! (&-Erik)

I'd just like to say how UNhelpful our little brother is in decorating. I don't know where he was, prob. bike riding for all I know, but I asked him what he thought of the new place, and he said, " ssshhhiiiittt, i already seen it. It's cool, Awesome dude." Wow... thanks for the feedback.. (expecting cool home makeover suggestions). Ha! well that's what I get for not being specific....

So I asked him for any advice on the topic. And his reply was to show me my office in hot pink with an easy bake oven....

Thank God for Jill, At least SHE pointed out to not put photos in the stairwell for knowing that'd I'd only knock them down and hurt myself.

Erik says, "But you always wanted an princess play set". ... Thanks Erik, Just for that you have to sit in the corner and let me braid your hair and you have to drink my cool-aid tea and eat my carrots, I GET the oreos not U!

Back to moving boxes for me!

Happy Halloween!!!

OCTOBER-DECEMBER back track entries:

October:

I've met several of the blog members online. We've all come together, felt drawn to each other in a way as if we've all known each other before. As though we just felt compelled to communicate with each other.

Then upon exchanging information, we've been sharing past life memories with each other. Either channeled from Source, or Erik or guides, or just imagery recall.

Robert and I have also been channeling messages from their guides to them.

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Jason to Robert via email: Oct. 28th

The new house purchase went fine. It was no big deal. We have our final walk through soon.

Matthew made coco crispy and fruity pepples cereal rice krispy bars for his work. And Guess, who was doing what!

I turned over in bed and in my minds eye said, where did you go. And I turned my attention downstairs in my minds eye and he was sitting in his chair with a Gi-normous bowel of treats, stuffing his face so fast! he was fisting the air, going "Woo-hoo! these are so good, Robert never eats this stuff!". Jen was at the stairs head in her hand going, 'oh, he's so gross'. And he was making little sounds while eating. ... Ush,,,, I guess you had to be in my head. It was so much more than that!

ps.... they were really tasty though.. :) ha ha.....

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Robert to Jason via email:

HA! He does love that sorta stuff! He wanted me to have Lucky Charms for dinner (I usually eat cereal for dinner) and I said we could...then I changed my mind to another cereal and promised we'd have his cereal tomorrow. He was fine with that. :-) his Aunt Laura made cinnamon rolls. He's been jonesin' for me to have some tonight. I may cave and have one. They are sooo good! I bet those treats Matt made were excellent! Erik's saying "Hell yeah they were!". ;-)

I'm so glad the signing went well little brother! Have loads of fun on the walk through!

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Jason to Ceridwen via email: Oct. 29

Hiya Ceridwen,

Jason here. Glad we connected and we will definitely have to have more chit chats soon! I greatly look forward to it.

I am In the middle of closing on a house-and on top of that trying to do the whole work thing, and keep up family relationships, I've been sick with a flu/sinus infection. I am almost better. But on top of all that I've had a crazy week spiritually. Almost a crisis if you will. A roller coaster ride with lots of loopty-loops. So much has been happening (mostly of my own volition), that I feel slightly at a loss to relate it all. But I will eventually post it online. But I've found out about some of the why's how's, and what's of what I've experienced in my life. And it's totally rocking my world. As I try to figure out what it all means, and how it applies to my past, present and future. On top of all that I've discovered Angels, been guided and taught by Masterful Spiritual Teachers and gaining new perspectives on the universe. I feel like I don't fit into my body any more.

Major revelations on what I need to learn now. Control and transformation of fear, loss, pain, belief, self love, ect. It's a pretty general statement, but I've got so much going on right now, I am afraid if I take time to work it out that I'll getin trouble or just collapse in a pool of sobbing. Fear has been a major trigger point for me, that was bringing me down. This week was about understanding that and overcoming it. Letting go, and putting faith in Spirit and trusting that it's up to me to turn fear into something beautiful. That-- But really I am ok. I am just trying to explain the intensity of it all.

I am trying to figure it all out a bit more so I can try to tell my spouse about it, who has no idea of what I've been going through--- ever... When we met I was a total atheist. And it wasn't until April that I started having positive spiritual experiences. I've built up this really stable and complex life for myself. So up until now I've been afraid to say anything. Soooo... I've got to try to figure out what all this means in my life because until I know a little bit of myself, I feel I don't know what to tell him.... Ugh.. I want this roller coaster ride to slow down cause I am gonna puke.... but then I was told this morning that I am at the controls, and I wanted to go this fast.......

Please send me peace energy. I need to stop freaking out and remember what I've learned! :)

Lots of love in life, spirit and friendship!

Jason

PS.. Oh an one more revelation! This week I met an animal guide. I don't know if it's my animal totem or not, or just a nature guide for me to figure out what I can learn. But I've not had the time to explore it. It's a big cuddly bear that walked out of the middle of the forest up to me... in a vision I had...At the time I was too stressed out and didn't have time, so I just thanked her and told her I wanted to meet again soon. My guides say it's both a metaphor and symbol for my nature energy, and at the same time real. And that it's for me to learn what I can from it...

AHHHH>>>>> Here comes another damn roller coaster loop.... (trying not to puke)... :)

ha ha... Oh, gosh.....

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von trap to the yellow brick road. A halloween vision from la la land and Erik

Thu, Oct 28, 2010 at 4:19 PM

An email exchange between Robert, Jason and Elisa

Jason to group

I was laying down trying to nap before our final walk through.... And Erik and Jill were in my head, and we were making fun of the TV and that led to horsing around cause Erik was mocking the sound of music stuff on Oprah. Well, he was singing, And I insisted he wear leaderhosen. And he'd whine no, he was the hot older one who got to wear pants. And I said no leiderhosen. And I got Jill to help me. We said he had to. And he kept trying to change the vision and dance stupid or bring in soldiers or a cool German car, or fellow singers but we wouldn't let him, we even made him hold a big lolly pop and sing the hills are alive. And then he said If he has to wear this I have to be Julie Andrews. And then I said no, I am tired. So then he started sitting on me. I pushed him off and started asking if what we should go for Halloween as. And I started thinking wizard of Oz. He said he was tin man, and I said I could be cowardly lion. But then he said, no Dorthy. But I said, wait, what's Jill going to be, but she was just shaking her head laughing. ANd I said, what's Robert going to be? and he started to say Toto, but I said, no his dogs can be that..... sooo... Robert I guess your the wizard... Elisa, you wanna be the scarecrow.. Your pretty smart???

ha ha ha ha....

I felt compelled to get up from nap and report this...

Elisa to group

That's too funny!!! Me, I'm going as an old lady, no costume required!

Robert to group

LOL! Yeah! The wizard! Erik's showing me dressed as Harry Potter! He's saying "Dude, you look like Harry Potter so being the wizard from Oz is puuurrrfect!". Now he's got on a wizard hat, robe, and stick. LOL! He's showing you (Jason) all done up like Dorothy! heehee! You look fabulous in a dress and pig tails! Say, ya know, Jill would be an awesome Dorothy, but it is funnier to have you in that role...heck, I'd enjoy playing that part too! Erik's popping in to say "You would! It bears repeating...You are such a girl!!". This is great seeing all this play out in my head. Too funny!

I vote Jason!! :-)

Lot's of love back to you!! So who's gonna be Dorothy??

Elisa to group

I vote for Jason being Dorothy!!! I wanna a picture of that!

Jason to group

Erik u still have to hold the lolly pop and sing!

Robert to group

LOL! He's rolling his eyes now and groaning. He's saying "I can't believe you said that Mom!". HA! This is fun picking on Erik...for once he gets it instead of the other way around...grin...

Robert

Elisa to group

> Aw, he was always so adorable in pigtails though!

Robert to group

>> LOL! Erik's shouting "HELL NO!". LOL! Now Jill and a guess some of my guides are chasing after him with a wig, makeup, dress, and heels! HA, HA! He's running and has this fake look of horror on his face! They always keep me in stitches!

>>

>> Robert