Post date: Apr 29, 2015 3:50:04 PM
Return To KC April 15-22, 2015
Wow !!!!!!! I am one that likes pushing other peoples' buttons and trying to blow their minds. Got the tables totally turned around on me on my recent trip back to KC. A few really good people made this all possible and I thank them. You all know who you are and again I thank you. Am still agog with the emotions and experiences I went through and deeply felt. We all have dreams and then wake up to reality, wishing we could close our eyes again and go back to that dream. When I woke up in KC, my dream and reality fused as one. Every morning when I awoke the dream and reality continued to be one. Kept having to pinch myself to see if what was happening was real. I fretted over the years about going back there and having to deal with/relive situations of my past and as a result limited my contacts/associations with only a few there. Regret today that I didn't come to my senses earlier and not deprive myself and allow those many wonderful, beautiful, honest, caring, decent and life-loving individuals into my life years ago.
Was tense and nervous making the decision to go back, but the numerous calls to my sisters, some nieces/nephews and friends provided positive encouragement to make the journey and not shy away from anyone or anything. Once on the plane, there was no turning back. Am not a religious person, but when I landed in KC I said a little prayer hoping everything would go smoothly and I wouldn't screw things up by being defensive or putting my foot in my big mouth. My great sister Maggie reminded me that if I got out of line she would put a foot up my butt and not hesitate to smack me up the back of my head. Maggie doesn't just threaten, she take actions.
When Mike Rogers/Rodent, whom I hadn't seen in close to 50 years, hugged me at the airport I felt safe and totally welcomed back for the first time in many, many years. We drove around the old stomping grounds like we did when we were teenagers and laughed and laughed. Those barren in-between years seemed like they never existed. He exemplifies what a real/true friend is. Know that over the days there he just seamlessly fit in with everyone making things comfortable for me. He was like a guardian angel who made sure I was going to have the best time of my life. Had a few others guardian angels there also, who I will comment on later. Rodent, I thank you for everything you did and just wish that there was some way to repay you. Just know that I have been blessed and fortunate to have such a great friend like you in my life. We weren't cruising in the Metropolitan but the good times and feelings were the same as they had been in those younger days. We may have aged a bit, but our minds and hearts are still young and hopefully they will always remain young.
The first leg of my journey concluded when Rodent dropped me off at my nephew's, Ken Paulakovich, home. That would be my base camp for the next several days. Had lived in that house with his mom and dad before his brother Chris and sister Anie were born. Was almost like going back in a time-machine. Once again I felt special and humbled by the warm welcome from Ken, Drew, Madi and Atlas. Was a total reversal from when I came home from Maur Hill or an occasional visit back that way. Normally the first thing out of someone's mouth was, " When are you leaving or have to go back?". Not welcoming words, along with no hugs. Was wonderful this time to get those hugs first, have conversations and laughs and only asked those questions when you were saying goodbye at the end of a visit. Was great to not feel like you were dust just being swept under a rug. Was great to feel that people were happy to see you and wanted to take the time to spend with you. The whole trip I got to experience being on the inside, not on the outside looking in. What I appreciated the most was that I was accepted and allowed to be just myself and didn't have to put on any dog and pony shows or have to justify my life. Was the first time I ever really felt like I was part of my birth family and had friends that really cared about me. I wasn't just a temporary bit of amusement or a turnip to suck some blood out of. You can teach old dogs new tricks and they are more than willing to learn. However, you just can't use the same methods used to beat them down to get control and expect the same methods to work to bring them back up in life and perform those new tricks. Am thankful that these new generations, which I participated with, are not influenced or permeated with the negative toxins of life. Saw a lot of hope, determination and drive to get the most out of life. Didn't see anyone trying to convince anyone that the most you can hope for, and be satisfied with was to be a mule pulling a plow. I was fortunate to see a positive spirit being passed on. Have no children of my own, but must applaud my sisters and my friends for passing on real values in life. Is great to see the young smiling, not frowning, and having hope and enjoying life.
As my friend Harley Marshall often says, "I digress". Going to try and get back on track. Spent that first night with my nephew and his kids and met his new lady, hope I get this right, Leigh Anne. Again, everything was so natural and uninhibited. I felt like it was just another weekly get-together for dinner with them all. Ken and the kids had visited me last summer in Vegas so we had a familiarity which made settling in a bit easier. Funny, but I saw more of the Disney Channel in a few days than I have in my entire life. Know that the kids are having to grow up faster today, but was good to see them just being kids and letting their inquisitive minds flow. Us older farts too often get trapped in a box and miss a lot of the wonderful things outside that box.
Ken didn't have to work the next day, so we were fortunate to have some personal time together. Got to meet a Croatian lady neighbor who was from the same village area as my grandfather. She was a real trip. Got to see a side of Ken that brought a smile to my face. Often wondered where he was heading when he was in the music business. Like the fact that he is a conscientious father, reaches out to help others and am astounded with the varied knowledge he has amassed being an independent audio man. He will soon bypass me as a storyteller. I learned a lot from him in a short time and his kids should feel fortunate that they have a doer like him to get guidance through life. My older friends who met him for the first time were impressed with him. Naturally I tried to take some of the credit for being a little influence in his life, but the kid has done it on his own and I am extremely proud of him. In a strange way he is the one that kept me attached to my birth family. He was the first family member to accept my open door policy. He lived with my wife Cissy and I while going to recording school in LA. That got me reconnected with his mom, Donna, my oldest sister, then my sisters Maggie and Cass and my brother Stephen when he got married on Cass's farm. Unfortunately my sister Lorraine wasn't able to be there. It was the first time that most of us kids were together since our mother died when I was not quite two. His visit with his kids in Vegas and his brief visit when passing through Vegas spurred me into going back to KC. He made my return very easy with his hospitality and just letting me be just myself. I thank you young man for being a major part of a most memorable time in my life.
We later went down to Breit's where many people from my Sammy's days get together for lunch on Thursdays. Was great going down memory lane with many I hadn't seen in years. Rodent joined us later as did James Verbanic/Jimbo, who also played a major role in making my return a very special event. Like Rodent, he seamlessly fit in and made my return very easy. James is Walter Verbanic's brother who I had a life long friendship with and who unfortunately passed away three years ago. Jimbo and I had a personal joke going on. He had replaced Walter in my life and I had replaced his Uncle Bill who he had driven around town when he also had a cane and couldn't drive very well. Got another nickname, Uncle Bill. James/Jimbo in a way was like an outsider in his family like me. He has brass balls and tells it like it is. I absolutely admire his honesty and realistic view of life. He still calls me Ralph, a name I was using when adopted by his family when I was starving for some guidance earlier in my life. Most would think of him as being a smart ass, but the man has much more to offer in life than most give him credit for. I know I listen to what he has to say and take it very seriously. There have been few that I can openly converse with, but Jimbo is one that I can just open up to. He's a great gentleman that accepts and allows me to just be myself and abets me to be nothing but myself. He gave me a lot of his time and was another guardian angel who made sure I would get the most out my journey. Never a dull moment with James. My jaws are still sore from the smiles you gave me Jimbo. Really like the new name, Uncle Bill.
Later that evening I got together with my adoptive family, the Verbanics. Don't think I would be here today without them. John and Helen and the kids made me feel and be a part of a family. When you grow up, not really not knowing what a family is about, to be taken in and be a part of one is the most wonderful thing that can happen to you. Though we weren't blood, they all made me feel as if I was one of them. When you feel lost and alone and are fortunate suddenly have people caring for you it brings you back to life and gives you hope and makes you want to do something good with your life rather than just be another drunk/bum on 6th Street who will die at an early age and contribute nothing in life. Over the years they have been the group I never wanted to disappoint. Always wanted to take back good news or something special to them over the many years. Maybe I was a cur dog but you all made me feel like I was an AKC pedigree champion. John, Helen, John Boy, Walter, James, Randy and Loretta, you guys were my true family. Don't want to give the impression that my siblings weren't family, but none of us were ever under the same roof or participated in what normal families do. Am most appreciative that over the years, your doors were always open to me and I could go home and be at peace within myself. Thanks to you all, I didn't have to be a nomad in life and aimlessly rove through the desert of life alone. Loretta, thank you for the tootsie pops. Instead of a bland business card I have used them as a calling card in hope that life can be something sweet and enjoyable. Was great to see all these people at Breit's, my family get-togethers and elsewhere with that white stick protruding from their mouths. Never too young or too old to enjoy a tootsie pop. I was so lucky and blessed to be taken in by you all and thank you all many times over. Don't know what I would have done without all of you. Just hope I gave something back to all of you.
Woke up Friday to another eventful day with my old friend Hank Young/Heine. Hadn't seen Hank since we graduated from Maur Hill in 1963. We only reconnected two years ago by phone and email. We both had changed quite a bit physically, but two things don't change, one's eyes and their voice. Hank is still his cool, calm and his collective self. He has this almost constant smile and is an intense listener. Know with his unusual voice and the calmness and clarity of it, he could be an exemplary narrator/lecturer. Know I just enjoyed him relating experiences in his life. Strange and funny at the same time, he reminded me of when I would listen to books on tape. It takes a special person to put you at ease, allow you to close your eyes and envision that which is being related to you. Hank has that ability and caps it all off with his unique and distinctive laugh. Like Rodent and Jimbo, he made me very comfortable going home once again and I thank him for that. He is also is a very patient and positive person who talks to/with you, not at you.
Mr. Young/Heine is a very accomplished photographer and the work he has produced set me aback, actually blew my mind. Most photos usually just document an event. Hank's photos to me captured a living moment in life and made me feel like I was there and reliving that moment in time. Don't want to be too philosophical, but in a way one sees his inner heart/soul come out in his work. Don't think either of us would have envisioned the paths we would later trod down in our lives. Seeing his studio, viewing his photos and listening to his stories made me almost feel privileged to be in his presence and honored that he would spend so much time with me. Have to laugh, but Hank is just one of those good old boys that you could spend a lot of time with and it would all be delightful. Again, he was one of those guardian angels that looked out after me and made sure that I would only have the good enter my life on this trip back. Still am trying to figure out how I was blessed to get so much attention from all those good people like Hank. Don't want to sound greedy, but I loved all of it and hope to share more memorable moments with all down the road.
Heine/Hank, love that most in my life have an alias/nickname, provided me with another great moment of going down memory lane. He asked me if I knew a gentleman named Mike who had played football at K-State about the time I went there. Before he could finish his question, I answered Murray. Mike Murray and I had competed against one another in CYO football in grade school when he was at St. Agnes and I was at St. John's. Later we would compete when he was at Bishop Miege and I was at Maur Hill. We finally ended up on the same team at K-State in 1963. Hank and I headed out to his restaurant in hope that he would be there. Thankfully he was and another memory lane reunion took place. Murray fortunately made it much further at that level than myself. However we had a few instances that we both laughed about and jeered but only momentarily. Again, eyes and voices are far superior to DNA. On this trip I learned that good/honest people are always consistent in life and hold on to their basic values over time. What you saw before in life is what you get today. You are who you are and if they can't deal with it, that is their problem. What a treat and what a great moment to once again hug one of your big adversaries. One has to grow up eventually, but I never want to grow up totally.
Hope Heine didn't see me tearing up going back to introduce me to his wife Barb and to Bogey. Never really knew where I was at geographically back there. Things had expanded so much. Was still in awe that I would be welcomed into all the homes of those that I had minimally participated with over the years. Never liked for humleness to enter my life, but learned that it was a good thing. Learned that when I thought I was a bigshot and magnanimous, that there were individuals that were far ahead of me and far more deserving of their pecking order in life. They were basically just good people I could identify with and not run away from. They were a part of my inner soul.
When Hank dropped me back off at Ken's later that night, I felt like I had travelled a million miles. The best part of that leg of the journey was that it had all been positive and I could not have wished for more. Ken's kids said that uncle John snored like a monster, but I guess I had a contentment that I seldom felt in life. Don't remember if I was watching the Disney Channel or TMC, but I slept like a baby and was absolutely content. Don't want to sound like a wimp, but when you are fortunate as a stick of butter to be placed into a microwave for 20 seconds, you just melt.
Saturday became another day I will always cherish. It was a mini-birth family reunion. Anie, nee Paulakovich, and her husband Hugh hosted a get-together at their home in Basehor. My old time friends showed up to make me feel comfortable. There were those that I didn't know, but I felt welcomed and appreciative that they took the time to meet me. Got to reunite with my nephew Chris who was a great hockey player and led us to great Polish sausages that I always cherished and once again got to imbibe in. Chris we didn't have much time together, but know that you have passed on to your children to be the best that they can be. You may be a bit of a perceived hard-ass, but you keep delivering the best messages to them. Loved talking to your girls at the Sunday reunion. They want to be artists? Like the fact that you, Anie and Ken are still close. Wish that life had afforded me to remain close to my sibs.
Again, Rodent and Jimbo became a natural part of the whole experience and just fused in and made another great moment in my life. Just keep wondering what I ever did to make you all back me up and cover my insecure ass. Hank unfortunately couldn't attend because he blew a radiator hose taking me around the day before. Know he would have been a great addition to the festivities, but fortunately later I would get to spend more time with him and have more smiles and good memories.
Wow, the food Hugh prepared, seeing Liz/Nolan, Chris Baska and others. Still wondering why I deserved this all. Also was the fact that my old friends fit in seamlessly with all and wondered why I hadn't done this earlier. Realize that my hard head had denied a lot of good things that could have happened. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. When you get to be an elderly gentleman you learn to be more appreciative of life. You look to those that can pass on the positive banners in life. Anie, you and Hugh are ones that will make sure that the message about living and enjoying life will get out there, regardless of the speed bumps one may encounter along that unforeseen route. Keep on snuggling up to one another at night and I will always think of you both as being the ideal example of how to live life.
My butt was dragging when I got up on Sunday, but there was another big treat awaiting me out in Oskaloosa. My sisters Maggie and Lorraine, along with nephews and nieces put together a family reunion for me at Barb's farm. Jimbo picked me up at Ken's and we all met at Anie and Hugh's and then caravanned out to Oskie. What a mind bender seeing all those cars and all those people gathering to welcome me back. It was a totally humbling and a most heartfelt experience. Hugs are something I really like and I got so many of them. It was all a bit overwhelming to me. Three generation of my family were there, many of whom I hadn't seen in years and others I had never met. Teared up a few times out of joy just seeing everyone smiling and having a good time together. There was more food than in most buffets out there. One thing for sure, no one goes home hungry when there is a family get-together and lo-cal, low-fat foods are banned. Calorie counting is also prohibited. This is a totally healthy crew when they assemble. What a great day and great memories. Still kicking myself in the ass for not going back there earlier and being a part of all these wonderful people. Won't miss out on another opportunity to go back and join in if possible.
Have a long list of those to thank for allowing me to have such a memorable day that I will always cherish. Maggie, always love your hugs, your wonderful smiles and your great positive attitude. You are one that I have always counted on to tell me the truth and not play games. I admire how you have raised and instilled the good values in your kids and know that they are passing on those values to their kids. Love you sis and thank you for being in my life. You told me everything was going to be great and it was. You always deliver for me. Loved that special meatloaf.
Tim, I still want to be your agent if you ever go on the comedy circuit. Know that it's a lot of work, but that was some damn good sausage and I know lot of people who would be loyal customers if you choose to go down that road..
Barb and Dale, thank you for having this wonderful event at your place. Know it was a lot of work and it was totally appreciated. Know the kids got a big buzz out of the rides. Would have loved to do it myself, but it would have messed with my equilibrium problems.
Jeannine, sorry I didn't get to meet Jeff and that David and his lady couldn't be there. Like and admire how you have looked out for your mom and your family. You have a good and kind heart and that makes you very special.
Andrea and John, was good to see you both. Andrea you still have that great smile and disposition you had as a kid. Never lose it. Still am intrigued by your photography. Am interested in some of the things you may taken pictures of in Ireland. Am disappointed that you didn't bring the convertible, but I would probably still indulging myself driving it around and about the USA. Smart decision young lady. Maybe you know me better than I think you do.
Mike, we didn't get to talk very much, but I had limited time with so many. Know I always tell my neighbor, who is also a trucker about you. Would love to go out on the road with you and not only see the sights, but get to know you better. I am a strange duck that doesn't like to have grass growing under my feet. Have always loved the open road and going some place. I in a way, envy those, that even though it may be their livelihood, get to go out there and see life and aren't chained to a desk. Would love to take a road trip with you, but you would probably stuff a sock in my mouth after the first hundred miles. Good seeing you kid and maybe one day we will take that trek. I plan on being around until at least 93, so there is time to make it happen.
Joey and Bobi, was great seeing you both. Was to much time in between but at last I got to meet Bobi. You look and remind me so much of your father. He was such a dear and kind person to me at a crucial time in my life. He took a struggling kid into his family and gave him the directions to have a good life. He had all of you, but took time to care and teach me about life. Your smile and his smile are so similar. Know you share his same heart and never change young man.
Laurence of Croatia, I thank you for the t-shirts at last. Now I have some more ammunitions to mess with peoples minds. Was wonderful meeting Amy, Souki and Kyra. Don't take me wrong, but a bit of that flab from all the good food is going to be a pain to get off. Am just happy I am not the one that has to do it. Amy seems to be a good match for you and you for her. Was impressed with Souki. The young man has a great mind and a lot of determination. He will make you both very proud down the road. Little Kyra is a jewel and will be a handful later. I wouldn't want to be in you guys shoes. Don't know if you should get back into football. That's your choice/decision and I will support you if you go back in that direction. Do want you to make a return trip to Croatia and keep that highway open and hopefully others will follow your lead. Know that the friends you made will be delighted to see you. Know that Ivica and Milka will be there with open arms for you and your mini-clan. Am proud that you had the guts to expand your world and didn't mind a few arrows in your ass by being a pioneer. Give me five kid and keep just being yourself and continue to have aspirations. Know you will be a great storyteller down the road.
BREAK TIME, BREAK TIME, BREAK TIME. TOO MANY EMOTIONS AND JOYFUL TEARS. AM A HARD ASS AND AM NOT SUPPOSE LET MY DEFENSES DOWN, BUT WHEN ALL THIS GOOD HAS COME INTO YOUR LIFE YOU JUST HAVE TO MELT.
Have my composure back to a degree, but know that those emotions and tears will return again. Funny, but I welcome them. Like I said, I like screwing with peoples' minds, but I had a royal job done on me. Smart asses like Nolan, Hugh and Chris P are probably laughing, but let's see how you will react if you get the opportunity and experiences I have recently gone through. TOUCHE. LOVE IT.
Lorraine thank you for making all this happen. Made a mistake by not responding to you initial email. However that birthday card allowed me to lower my defenses. As mentioned it was one of the rare few I had received from any in the family over the years. Made me want to reconnect with you and I am extremely happy I did. We will never be able to make up for lost time, but hope that we will stay in touch and resume being what a sister and brother should be, always good friends. Our time was limited but hopefully down the road we can have a whole day to just indulge with one another. Always enjoy when we Skype and I get clued in about your family. Am sorry I haven't been the most ideal uncle to them, but will try to do better down the road. We all had a strange life and upbringing, but I can never use that as an excuse for not trying to help us from being an ongoing unit, regardless of the situations. Thank you for checking in on Rich/Giz. Know he was appreciative and it gave him great warmth. Will relate my time with him later in this missive. Thank you for reentering my life and making it be a bit more whole once again. Maybe one day I will be fortunate to complete the entire puzzle and see the picture we all hoped one day could be.
Kim, hope you don't take me wrong when I refer to you as b....b..t Have terms of endearment that register in my mind and how I relate to others in life. You always seemed to have your hands in the air and clicking your heals as a young child, almost like you were wanting to be a contestant and come on down on the Price Is Right show. You have grown up to be quite a lady and I am in awe of your accomplishments. More important to me is that you have remained a down to earth young lady and circle the wagons for your family. You always had short hair when I lived briefly with you all. The longer look suits you better. Is that the female business guru look? Wish I had been able to come back for Laura's wedding and meet your kids and your brothers I never knew existed. Am getting older, but hope that on day we can ALL get together and I don't have to get up on the stage and perform the two lame magic tricks I know. Normally, I screw both of them up. Am proud of you kid and instinctively know you have that good heart to make good things happen.
If you knew Susie like I know Susie, oh, oh what, what a gal. You still have that great smile and happy disposition you had when you were a mere 36" tall. Glad to see they haven't changed a bit over the years. Good and happy people have always made my day worth living. Was good to finally meet Casey and her family and I'm sure the kids will bring you a lot of joy over the years.
Teresa Horvat, was good seeing you once again. Thank you for taking the time to take pictures. I brought a camera back with me but unfortunately never unpacked it. Guess I got too wrapped up in all the excitement and good times. Was serious about a piece of your dad's art. Tried unsuccessfully to buy one from him years ago. Hopefully the next time I get back your way I can spend some time with Ray, Monica, Bernadette and you.
Know I am probably leaving someone out, but thank everyone for making it a very special day, one I shall never forget. If any of you have pictures would appreciate if you could send them my way. Also, I don't have everyone's email address and would appreciate if you could pass this missive on to those that made this almost dream come true. Hopefully this reunion trip will allow me to be more than a figment of imagination in many minds. Someone told me that they wondered I really existed. Another said that they wondered if we would all ever be together. Thanks to all of you it did happen. Hopefully somewhere down the road we can do it again and the missing pieces who couldn't be there will make that next one. Was just a mind blower for me.
My friend Harley Marshall and his wife Katy, who now live in Portland, Maine, were suppose to be in KC on Monday. Harley, Walter and I had been bartenders together at Sammy's back in the 60's We were going to go up to Lawrence a pick up my cousin Richard/Giz/The Doctor Gillespie, who was also a bartender at Sammy's, as well as later was Anie, and spend time with him at his studio in KC. Unfortunately Harley had back surgery and couldn't make the trip. Also Giz had some other things to attend to so my visit with him got rescheduled for Tuesday. Harley had also hoped to meet Ken. He had written a play about our days at Sammy's and Ken had put it all together and played Walter in the presentation, who had passed on a few years earlier. Katy was the narrator on it. We did it all on Skype many miles apart. Hopefully they will eventually get to meet one another and relive the experience. For a mere $9.95 plus shipping and handling you can be entertained with some 6th Street absurdity and reality for 1 hour and 59 minutes. Know we all had a great time doing it. Hadn't seen Harley for 40 years prior Walter's memorial at Skradski's. Another example that true/good friends will always be true/good friends.
With the change in plans Jimbo picked me up on Monday. We had lunch and more laughs at Breit's and joined his brother John Boy and took a trip down to his farm in Paola. Is a gorgeous place and we had a chance to catch up on not only memory
lane, but also what was going on with all the Verbanic family. John Boy has mellowed over the years and it was good to see him more at peace and ease. Being the oldest in his family he was almost dictated to take on certain responsibilities. When his folks passed, he assumed more of those responsibilities. Know he has had a lot of pressure on him over the years trying to keep everything in tact. Don't know if I could have held things together how he has. Was good to see he was at peace within himself and enjoying the rewards for all of the efforts over his life. Hope him and Marsha can sit out on that deck and enjoy that miniature garden of Eden and breathe easier. He more than deserves it. Walter spent a lot of time down there when he moved back to KC and now James is spending a lot of time down there. Funny but it is almost like a new 341 N. 6th that everyone is going back home to. Maybe down the road the whole clan can get together once again on that deck with its 8 mile view/vista. We may all have canes and walkers but can guarantee you it would be a blast. Siblings sometimes have differences, but in the end are bonded together by the love for one another that was instilled in them by a couple that really wanted the best for them, regardless if they had different approaches how to accomplish that. John Boy gave me a back-handed compliment when we all went out to dinner that made me feel very special. He said, "Dad was always overly serious will all of us, but he always laughed and joked with you". Thank you guys for allowing me in and putting up with me all these years. Is comforting to know I will always have a place to crash or get a meal and the best part is that I have never felt unwelcomed by any of you. That has always meant a lot to me. One other thing that has meant a lot to me over all these years is that when we have visited or conversed you all end it with "love you". Just hope I have given back to you all at least a small portion of what you all have given to me. Whew !!!!!
When I got back to Ken's that evening my behind was dragging. We went over to Crown Center and had pizza and we all said our farewells. Know the kids were disappointed that I didn't want to play "liars poker" which will I had taught them when they met and visited me in Las Vegas, but I was emotionally and physically spent. Hope they forgive me, but I intend to make sure they have their own money next time and don't have to have their father bail them out with bogus IOU's when they lose. Wish I had had the experience of having children. Question how good of a father I may have been. Have these affectations to always be and think young. The only ones that can give you that perspective are the young. We may view ourselves as the teachers, but more often we are the ones being taught and guided into new eras and times. These little ogres in life have taught me more than I have taught to them. Just don't want them to realize that they have been so influential. A child's smile and inquisitiveness is something I have always cherished and respected. You are an SOB if you can't abet them to get to their next important step in life. You may have to go through some pains to help them through their journey of life, but you have to give them the support to reach their goals, whatever they might be. I am totally honest when I say I would rather spend my time around kids than boring and close-minded adults.
Another Harley, "I digress". Am going to try and put the train back on the tracks. Tuesday morning got up and had coffee with Ken. He had to work and we said our good-byes. I really thank and appreciate him allowing me to use his home as a base camp, allowing me to just myself and welcoming my friends into his home. Really made life easy for me.
A little later after Ken left Rodent picked me up to go to visit Giz in Lawrence. We made it there just in time for his ex-wife Mary was picking him up for a dentist appointment. Giz/The doctor has always been one of the most influential individuals in my life. Not only from the artistic side but mostly on the personal side. Always him and Bill Baska looked out after me like I was their little brother. I got his bartender job at Sammy's when he enrolled at KCAI to study sculpture. He later got a Fulbright scholarship to attend Stanford and taught there for a few years. When he returned to KC, he and Mary and my then wife Lynn got pretty close to one another and spent lot of time together and those evenings on the screened in porch at the log cabin always bring back good memories. Funny but Walter, then his brother Randy moved into that log cabin when him and Mary headed down to Florida where he would start a sculpture department at the University of Miami. Lynn and I would live in another home that he and Mary had lived in before he accepted a similar position at University of Kansas, where he was for numerous years until unfortunately suffering a stroke several years back. He included me in many facets of his life over the years and was always that great big brother. I modeled a lot of my life after him and it was always a real pleasure to spend time with him and Mary and their sons Ian and Aaron. Especially remember their family trip out to California when they visited Cissy and me. There is still a piece of his sculpture in the master bedroom here at the house named "Portrait of Aaron". What I appreciate the most about him is that he always allowed me to tag along with him over the years and always was introducing me to new people and new aspects of life and always provided encouragement to be just myself and expand my life whenever possible. Was always a compliment when I was chastised and told, "your just like your cousin Richard". I thank you so much Doctor for what you have given me over the years.
Giz and I don't move as fast as we once did and now each have our own canes. Other things we still share are good memories and smiles. Mary is still that wonderful soul that also brought a lot of happiness into my life over the years. She's a strong lady that has been able to deal with him over the years. I wore out four good ladies and am not proud of it. She deserves some kind of monumental award. Doctor, you made my life so wonderful, but I still get confused and from time to time wish you were closer to help me get back on the right path.
An aside, I think Rodent was taken back to his memories when his mother was in a place similar to where Giz is now living. Personally, her and his father were really good, good people and I always felt great when in their home. In a way I envied Rodent for what he had and I didn't. Know that it wasn't easy for him to sit there in that lobby and recall the past while we waited for Mary and Giz to return to go out to lunch and visit their great home. I hope I did a little to comfort him a bit, as he had comforted me during my whole trip back there. The past is something we can't do anything about or make it come back an try to make it perfect. All we can do is put the good and positive out there and hope that those that follow will have a more rewarding life.
Once again, like Harley, "I digress". We all went out to lunch and later spent time at 720 Ohio. Again for me it was like sitting in a time machine and though Giz has a problem of verbally communicating it was time well spent and endeared. Didn't really want to say good-bye to him or Mary, but the day was passing on and I had to catch an early flight in the morning. Hope I am fortunate to have another meeting with all of them that made it special for me that day.
On the way back to KC, I called Hank to give him a thank you. Fortunately he was still at his studio and Rodent, him and I got to share some time together. It was great that we all seemed to be life long friends though the two of them had never met. Is strange how relationships flow from one into another. Hank took some pictures of me and Rodent took a couple of Hank and myself. Looking forward to seeing them. Later learned that Rodent and his wife Carol have always been intrigued with Hank and Barb's old farmhouse on Mission Road, not knowing who lived there. Also learned that Hank and Carol had an association when he had done some work at KU Med Center. Can be a very small world at times. I have sent them both povitica over the past few years and it would be a delight if they could possibly get together somehow down the road. Even better would be if I could come back and join them.
Had dinner with Rodent and Carol that evening and unfortunately knew that my wonderful joy ride would be over in the morning when he took me to the airport to return to Vegas, Really didn't want to get on that plane for I have never had all those experiences which I had experienced in such a short period of time. Maybe it is natural to be greedy in life, but subconsciously I really wanted more and wasn't ashamed of it.
Really crashed and slept in the past few days back here. Still haven't totally unpacked either. Just am content to lounge around and savor the good memories. Again thank all of you and let's definitely do it again.
John, Johnnie, John Michael, Ralph, C2, UJ, Frank and now Uncle Bill and the list of names could go on and on. Maybe why I have an identity problem trying to figure out who I really am.