"A Hungry Bird Disguised As A Birdhouse"

Post date: Feb 2, 2015 7:57:05 PM

Still stumbling/fumbling/bumbling around with all the medical specialists. They still can't figure out my equilibrium problems and its causations. The numbness, which was in the bottom of my feet, is starting to move up into my ankles. Have had every kind of test over the past 15 months and they are scheduling another brain MRI for me. The last one proved only that I do have a brain, but they couldn't tell me why it was filled with the weirdness that escapes through my mouth or art most of the time. Have my AFT braces which lock my ankles and feet in place and keep me from tipping forward and falling. Falling once was normal when you got loaded and the scrapes and bruises were like purple hearts you received for being brave and were not afraid of partaking in the absurd actions of life. Today the falls just simply HURT and scare the hell out of you. Also wear compression hose to keep my feet from swelling up and my veins from popping out. If I were a junkie, would have no problem finding a vein to shoot up into. Also wish that they could find a way to redirect that blood that causes the swellings in my feet to another very personal part of my body so I could give a few of the snow goose ladies on the block a bit more of a thrill. Asked my urologist for something to help me in that area, but all I get is two neatly/professionally packaged Popsicle sticks and two large adhesive bandages. Maybe someone should come up with a brace for that area and one wouldn't have to worry about a flag flying at half-mast for more than 4 hours and not having to call your doctor, who isn't available to see you until 2 weeks down the road Also wear elastic knee braces when I go out for extended periods. Gives me more support in my lower extremities. Feel like I am dressing for a war, an NBA game or something, if I plan on being somewhere, moving around for a couple of hours. Have had to give up my tap dancing lessons, but at the next Croatian wedding I may attend, I will try to do my best to emulate Frankenstein and crudely dance a polka. The best of my medical apparatus is my is my cane. Hobbling around isn't a lot of fun, but having you own cane gives one a sense of being distinguished, dapper and somewhat suave. You get good seating in restaurants, help getting things off the shelves at the grocery store, people opening doors for you and have no problem to quiet and scare the hell out of the bratty kids in check out lines. Oh, the power and wonderful gift of your own cane. My main social life is having coffee and donuts with those young ladies in their scrubs at the various medical facilities. Seems like we see each other so often that I am on a first name basis with many of them. Even had a few of them just change the date on those horrible forms you have to fill out at every appointment, even if nothing has changed. At one of my neurologist visits, one gal was taking lunch orders for the staff and was thoughtful enough to include me. Had to pay for it myself, but made me feel like one of the gang. Also made me make sure to try and get the first appointment of the day or you could be spending 3-4 hours in the reception area reading outdated mags and unenlightening medical pamphlets. Made a suggestion at one of the offices, that to make the patients feel more comfortable and at home, that they should replace the horrible seating with rocker-recliners and give ear buds to listen to the audio on the TV instead of trying to keep up with the SAP wordage. Like and admire foreign films, but trying to keep up with the subtitles can ruin the experience at times. Is funny how one is perceived by the staff members as per their age groups. The older ones are curt, snide and almost deaf to my words and antics. They would be a tough audience if you were on the comedic stage. The younger ones are more receptive to your bad jokes and over exaggerated moans. Think they like the attention I direct towards them and believe it helps them get through what must be a very boring situation to do the same routine hour after hour and day after day. The Nurse Practitioners are a real trip for me. In each office I have been to, they are these tiny Asian women with frowns, then smiles, then more frowns and then after relating their information per your situation, have a giant smile, like a cat that just ate the canary. They take great pride in their thoroughness. Almost envision myself being in a Geisha house the way they prance around the room and check you out with those big smiles. The doctors are basically okay guys. Have only been dissatisfied with one. Will run over that SOB if I ever get the chance. Unfortunately the medical profession has turned into a business rather than simply caring for patients' well being. Understand why some are giving up their private practices and just leaving to be on staff at a hospital or health related facility. The days of your personal doctor with his one multi-tasking nurse will never be seen again. Must be frustrating to have to consult with legal, accounting and insurance reps before you just can simply do your job. Am happy that like the first responders in cases of emergency, they are willing and ready to be there for you. Maybe when they figure out what is going on with me, I can have a big pool party for all that have pitched in and we can laugh and have fun like at a class reunion. Someone was joking with me about how they could see me terrorizing the world in an electric "hover-round" with that orange flag, similar to the wheelchair I road down 6th Street back in KCK in my younger days to amuse the crowds. Could be a mental trip, but as I have always done, in all aspects of my life, I would/will choose to always stand on my own two feet.

Wow, I must have accidentally lubricated my jaw while sleepwalking last night. Had intended on being brief and introducing a new piece of art I recently completed. Oh well, when you are fortunate to have the stage, you might as well use the opportunity and give a best performance. Back to the subject at hand. With all the medical stuff and irregular schedules, I kind of put doing my art on the back burner once again. Had a few friends visit me here in Vegas and Skyped with a few more across international/national borders. Naturally one of the first things they all ask is if I have been doing any new art and messing with others' minds. That often makes me feel guilty for having nothing new to show and makes me feel like I may be losing my place on the totem pole or have nothing enlightening to contribute to the opinion section of the local newspaper. Made me once again feel the necessity to climb up on the "artistic psychologist's couch" and not have people think I was getting close to taking a dirt nap. Have mentioned how people leave items on the wall outside by the front door which they think may be of use in doing my art. Seems like I had accumulated a small cache of birdhouses. Basically they are simple little structures, but I can guarantee you they are a challenge to do something creative with which will represent the genre of art I indulge in. Have completed one, which I will send today and am in the process of trying to put another one together, as soon as I can find a neighbor who allow me access to a band saw. This first piece I have titled, "A Hungry Bird Disguised As A Birdhouse". It is 10 1/2" long x 9" wide X 9 1/2" high. When I first started doing art regularly years ago, transitioning out of being an architectural designer, I did a couple of satirical 2-dimensional series based around birds. They are fascinating in so many ways. One thing that always miffed me was that they, like humans and other animals, that they can become very protective and almost violent in a way when it comes to their sources of food. If it is bountiful they have no problem with sharing. When it is scarce, they seem to go to war. Had 3 hummingbird feeders at one time. Everything was cool until I reduced it to only one. Then the wars and aerial combat began. They staked out their various positions for protective observations in the surrounding trees and shrubbery. If another, from afar, entered their realms they attacked. Even if it was a larger sparrow, seeking sweet nectar, they bravely and viciously launched an assault. The grackles, blue jays, crows and the various bird at the aviary at the Flamingo Hotel show this similar warrior tendency when it comes to their food. Know personally that when I am hungry and there is little in the fridge, I can become cranky and testy. Am somewhat in awe how nature has built in the beautiful/good side and then the ugly/bad side into almost everything. Roses are fragrant and colorful, but beware of the thorns. Oceans can be so content on one hand, but what danger lurks in the deeps below? Guess that's what makes life interesting, if one opens his/hers eyes and chooses to observe and participate to discover what is the perceived truth or real truth. Have learned over the years one has to accept both parts/sides of anything before they can truly understand the whole big picture. Perhaps I am like those birds in my present situation. Feel an urgency to protect my basic survival, but still feel I must develop and share my beautiful/good side with as many as I can.

As usual, enjoy getting comments and feedback from you. Better even, is getting updated about what may be going on in your lives. Be sure to give those around you a hug, for it always makes their day knowing someone cares.

John Michael, John, Ralph, A-Hole, C2 or whatever name you may know me by

(To see photos of the above art pieces go to https://sites.google.com/site/jmdodigartphotos )