I've often heard it said that "everyone has his price;" meaning: every person can be tempted to give up his or her principles for some level of gain. I always hoped and often believed that that was not true of me. After all, when the clerk gives me back too much change I always say, "I think you made a mistake," and give back the extra. Of course, the clerk usually thanks me for being honest and often I have an admiring crowd. I have found that that level of honesty is easy and cheap. It's certainly good but if that is all I have to go by then I could not say my honesty is proved. I have had a few situations in my life where there were some more substantial gains available and, thankfully, I was honest - but I also had an audience - my wife was aware of them and it can't hurt to have your wife think highly of you.
But . . .
This week my pool pump motor finally gave out - I typically get it repaired and it limps along for another year or two. But not this time. Ashley, the competent technician at Leslie's Pool Supply, informed me that it was shot and she recommended a replacement. A $500 replacement. I bit the bullet and bought it. Earlier this week I spent a lot of time wiring the new pump motor and noticed that a little clip had come off and I could not recall its exact placement before I displaced it. But I saw that there were two female connectors on it and so I assumed it had to go in a spot where there were two male connectors. I replaced the clip and it looked good. The clip was actually a jumper to change the pump from 115 volts to 230 volts. I was sure I had it in the right place - but I did not check it out with my instructions. If I had I would have learned that I had set my pump motor to 115 volts and I was hooking it up to my 230 volt wiring. I used a three-wire piece of electric cable but it had a bare ground wire running through it too. This bothered me but I just cut it off and figured it would give me no more trouble as long as I did not hook it up to anything. I put everything back together and was ready to turn it on. Before I did I prayed with Karen, my wife, and hoped for the best. I had Karen turn the pump motor on at the timer box in the house. "Click." But the motor did not run - it tripped the breaker and it did so multiple times. I took the motor apart and noticed my mistake and repaired it. The motor was now set for 230 volts as it should be. I prayed again and tried the motor. "Click." The motor continued to trip the breaker. When ANYTHING goes wrong in my life my world becomes centered on that one thing. I came to the realization that I had burned up my brand new, $500 pool pump motor! I was miserable!
Then I had to go to Bible Study. One of the topics we discussed was how easy it was to give into temptation. I had a great "righteous" response to the topic - as usual, being "good" in the abstract rather than in practice.
I prayed all night that night and got up at 4:00am with a thought. I did a Bing search for "what happens when you put 230 volts into a 115 volt motor". I read an article from India that said "you will burn up the motor". Indians are the ones we go to for all our computer problems so I figured they had to be right about this. I had a sick feeling all that day at work but then had a thought. I called Leslie's Pool Supply and told Ashley that "Every time I put the power to the motor it trips my breaker". Notice that there is no lie in there. She said to bring it in - I left work briefly to drop it off to her. As I drove away I assumed she would find that the motor was shot and I prepared my innocent reply in my mind - and then innocently accept the replacement motor. I also prepared to answer her probing questions: "Did you run 230 volts into it when it was set on 115 volts?" "No," I lied in my mind. I could not afford to spend $500 again! I hoped she would not ask those questions so I would not have to lie. But the Lord is just close enough to me that I realized I was still lying by not telling the whole truth. I felt miserable - knowing that $500 was the price of my honesty.
Ashley called me. "The motor is fine - it works on 115 volts and 230 volts." I was happy that I had not ruined the motor but I still had a major problem at home: "Why didn't the motor work?"
The Lord is so good to me! Remember that little bare wire running through my electric cable? I figured that it was probably grounding the motor and tripping the Ground Fault Circuit Interrupter on the breaker. That evening I took the wiring off the pump, removed the bare wire, and re-ran the wiring. I hooked it up and prayed again. I had Karen flip the switch and heard the beautiful soft hum of a working pool pump motor. It was a very sweet sound. We prayed again in thankfulness.
That little bare wire would not allow me to ruin the motor. Coincidence? I'm thinking that God loves me so much that He would not allow me to ruin the motor through my negligence AND, more than that, He did not want me to lie. God says in His Word that when we are tempted He provides "a way of escape". I did not take advantage of that and was not willing to lose $500 for my Savior's reputation.
I am so ashamed that I was not willing to suffer loss for the sake of my honesty, my reputation as a believer, or my Savior's reputation. I now know the price of my righteousness - it's $500. The Lord even teaches us in our sins though - while He made it impossible for me to tell a blatant lie (the motor worked so I did not have to tell that falsehood), He helped me to see how deceitful my heart remains. In spite of His death on the cross, His forgiving me of MANY sins, His love and favor showered on me daily, still I was willing to lie (and did in my heart) for $500. I am sure I would lie for less.
Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" Thanks be to God that I know it much better now. Lord, keep me ever faithful to you. Protect me from my own heart and my flesh. Help me to be the man You have created me to be and forgive me of this one more lie. Amen.