I retired from the Department of Veteran's Affairs in 2016. It's been over a year now. I have not returned to my place of employment in all that time. I provided counseling for combat veterans and their families. I miss the work at times but I do not miss the heavy responsibility I felt for keeping them alive. In many ways it felt as if I were back in combat myself. But the Lord was good to me and allowed me to retire nearly unscathed. Most unfortunately, about two years before I retired one of my men committed suicide. I was devastated and it took me a month to really get back to "normal". At the VA we go through a long and complicated process after such an event. I did nothing wrong - BUT - there is no way to remove the sense that I missed something. I helped his wife to grieve for the next year and little did she know that she was helping me in my grief as well. But I knew that my time of service was over. So I applied for retirement and in July 2016 I retired.
The first year went by so fast and I caught up on all the things I was unable to do at home since I was working. But then an opportunity presented itself to serve God and my combat veterans again. Roger Bennett, the pastor at Overcomer's Outreach Center, asked me to lead a group called PTSD Victorious. We meet twice monthly and the men that I meet with are all going through their various battles with PTSD and all are doing very well. For me, it is therapeutic on two levels. It helps me with my own combat memories and also helps me to feel that I am still useful professionally. I will continue to serve as long as they still need me.
But did you notice that I no longer talk much about autism? I left that field in 2009 to work for the VA. But it did not leave me. My grandson, Peter, still has symptoms and is still part of my daily life. He is doing well. We are now home schooling him due to severe bullying that occurred in the public schools. He is doing so much better. We are teaching him how to negotiate life in the real world as best we can. I bring up autism not just because of Peter but because recently another child with autism came to affect my life. A group I am affiliated with had a child with autism attack a staff member and a meeting was called to discuss the situation. I certainly did not want to take charge of the situation (though I thought I probably should) but offered my services as a consultant. I explained my background and experience. The response I got was rather surprising. "We'll call you if we need you." It was a bit of a blow to my ego but also helped me to see that I am really, really retired. I think other people see that we are retired way before we do. It's a little like the dead people in the Sixth Sense movie - "they don't know they're dead." Well, I'm NOT dead but I am most certainly, most definitely retired! ~ (10 November 2017)