Two Kids and a Hooded Murderer

"Congratulations, idiot! Look what you gotten ourselves into!" I said. It seems that we pesky teenagers had got ourselves into a horrible predicament. As we hide ourselves among the old gravestones, there's a weird-looking guy in a black hood WITH A KNIFE FILLED WITH BLOOD that seems like he wants to tear our every limb from our bodies! 

My name is Harry Deen. My friend next to me looking all scaredy-cat and stuff is Bernie McDinkleestein.  And that guy with the knife over there... I didn't know who the heck he is! 

It all got started one Halloween night when we were trick-or-treating in our Marvel superhero costumes like regular everyday dudes begging for candy like innocent little children. I was Captain America. Bernie here was Star-Lord. Made sense, since Star-Lord messed up everything in the Infinity War movie, and Bernie is always the type to get us in a prediament. As we were bicycling down the road, we saw the old graveyard.  Somehow (no thanks to him!), Bernie triple-dared me to enter the graveyard to see if there were any "evil"  spirits who would want to corrupt our souls.  I told him that the sugar from the candy apples got him all riled up and that he needed to relax.  Then I thought, "Bro, let's just go for a couple of minutes and then leave and skedaddle." So we went to the graveyard. 

At first, it seemed silly. Bernie pretended that he was a zombie and scared the heck outta me from behind an old tree. I scared him back by pretending that someone was using a chainsaw on me, which really just made Bernie look like a scared Wile E. Coyote. As we joked around with ourselves, we saw an open coffin right in front of us. We stopped, and looked in. There was nobody. 

"Uh, Harry? Maybe now's the time to leave this place?" 

"Oh great, you finally admit that you wanna get get the heck away from here? Oh let's go and run."  But no.  We just stayed there like statues.  

Suddenly, a shrilling cackle erupted from one of the bushes. We screamed like cats and hid behind one of the tombstones. And that's how we got involved in this life or death crisis.  As we hid near the graves, wondering if we would ever see our loved ones again, Bernie randomly stepped out in front of the mysterious figure and challenged him to a dance-off, like Star-Lord did in the movies.  A "dance-off".  Bernie started to dance foolishly in front of the figure, singing lyrics that weren't even part of the song since he forgot how the song goes. I crept behind the distracted hooded figure and was about to hit him with my Captain America shield.  Then I heard a phone ring.  

The figure picked it up and said, "Hey doofus, what are you doing?! Can't you see that I..." 

We stood there, flabbergasted.  I took the hood off and realized that the "murderer" was actually Bill Brookes, the school bully.  That knife filled with blood was actually filled with red paint, and we recognized it because we had seen an identical one at Party City. It seemed that Brookes here wanted to get the last laugh on us since he's always picking on us. We called the police, and Bill was sent home, possibly to his mommy who was gonna hit him with her rolling pin.  As we were about to leave the graveyard, I thought I saw a hooded figure floating devilishly smiling at us.  I tried to tell Bernie about the floating figure, but he was too distracted, nervously eating his candy apples.  Then I thought, "Baloney. That can't be possible.  He's not THAT kind of guy."