13 Steps to Successfully Kidnap Someone

13 STEPS TO SUCCESSFULLY KIDNAP SOMEONE

1. Identify who you will put forth efforts to kidnap

whether you have a motive, or not 

2. Gather information arguably the most important part,

Facebook and Instagram are now your best friends.

3. Stalk him and dig deep into his personal life,

Find his deepest darkest secrets

4. Search the target up on google 

And find his house on Zillow

5. learn about his children, the true ones, the pets 

Jermane and xander are the ones he cares about 

6. Get yourself in a car crash 

Then call the person your kidnapping to come help you 

7. We must gain the victims' trust. 

I will pet sit for him. Trust has been gained 

8. What to do next is sure to work, 

Invite him to a Husker Volleyball game.

9. Take his favorite mascot

hold Tiny Tim hostage to lure him in.

10. Then, a place to commit the crime. 

An offer to fish at a long-lost lake will suffice.

11. We must then lure our victim to the exact spot we want them.

With the trusty help of Unsweetened Ice Tea, we will be very successful.

12. Wait in the parking lot until he walks past you, 

And quickly shove him your van

13.  Step thirteen, but I don’t think that I will be sharing that with you tonight. You see, this will not work, this whole plan is a waste. Because our victim, is in this very room.

Contributors:

Sophie Birkestrand

Allison Boettcher

Jessie Bronson

Kylie Burken

Aspyn Chapin

Darbie deFreese

Maxine Fickenscher

Isaac Haack

Steel Marks

Alizabeth McDermott

Jocelyn McGee

Ben Popple

Anika Scheele