Meteo Archon's Retort Chart

Meteo's Cosmic Retort Chart

V1.0

By Duh.

Roll 1d20 to help you decide which to use on the Target

1: You're a wood Nymph, or a GODDAMN Enuch

2: I said Enough, not Enuch

3: Lacockurotcha, Lacockurotcha, how many BILLIONS of Dick Jokes are there?

4: Shut Up. Wieners Suck Wiener

5: *Insert ANY fucking thing here*? As many as there are Colours in the Rainbow

6: You made Baby Jesus Cry, so go Die, Fry

7: A clown saw you, and laughed!

8: First, you're a prostitute's unloved castaway, first and foremost fucktard

9: Always do whatever's Next, because you're so good at it!

10: Kusotare no akumadeioh tsunamimete

11: You're not an Eastender or a Westender, you're an Assender

12: I torpedoed a star and made it go nova, just to wipe your visage from the planet

13: You're not a Zombie, you're just diseased

14: I won't just KILL you, I'll eradicate you from air, space, time, upward planing, and concievability

15: Jed, Ned and Ted all tell you to fuck off!

16: Your IQ is 30. And that's only because I'm feeling generous

17: on the Road to the Stars, you are but a Dog Turd, unless you're a *Guy who traumatized you*

18: For all that is Good and Holy, save us from shitburgers like you!

19: did a fire get started by your seething ignorance?

20: GO to Hell (Creative, isn't it?)