Future Self | SOAR Self-Leadership

1. Tony Gambill | 4 ways to Unlock Your Greatest Potential 

2. How the Applied Learning Cycle Can Help a More Agile Leader

In today's matrixed, virtual, and ever-changing world, very few feedback conversations are so clear-cut that the leader doesn't need to hear perspectives and gather more information. Often, giving difficult feedback is made even harder because the leader has to provide feedback about behaviors that they didn't witness first-hand. It is rare that the feedback that needs to be shared is so critical or urgent that it justifies a leader not taking time to ask questions and listen.

Taking the time to ask questions before giving perspectives doesn't stop leaders from sharing their constructive feedback; it just means they choose to ask questions and understand other views before sharing their own.

1. Introduce the issue

• I would like to talk about ______ with you and would like to get your point of view.

• I would like to talk with you about ______. I would like to hear your perspectives on this and also share my view with you.

2. Understand perspective

• How do you feel it went?

• What challenges were you encountering?

• What do I need to better understand?

• What were you wanting to accomplish?

• What was the impact?

3. Forward focused action

• How would you suggest moving forward?

• What are your ideas for next steps?

• How can we work together for progress?

• How can I support these steps?

4. Clear next steps

• What are the next steps?

• When will these steps be completed?

• How would you define success?

• How will we keep each other updated?

• What do you need from me?

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An Equation That Delivers Results - One of the hardest lessons we must learn is how to challenge and update long-standing beliefs and behaviors that have served us well in the past but are not sufficient for the future. This simple equation provides you a more complete view of WHY you get the results you receive and HOW to take meaningful actions for progress. The equation is:

 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐬 = 𝐁𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐱 𝐄𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭

1. 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐬 

The outcomes of your past actions that are no longer meeting your needs or the desired outcomes of your future actions.

2. 𝐁𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐬 

The combination of your actions, habits, personality, perspectives, personal values, goals, etc. Below are questions for leaders to assess how their behaviors impact their current results.

• How do I contribute to this undesired result?

• How do my habits and strengths serve me well?

• How are my habits and weaknesses not serving me well?

• How do my perspectives about this situation impact my behaviors?

• Are my actions aligned to my values and long-term goals?

• Do I have the right knowledge and skills to be successful?

3. 𝐄𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 

The processes, systems, people, values, structure, physical resources, culture, etc. of your setting. Below are examples of questions targeted at understanding the contextual factors (good and bad) that influence your situation.

• What about this environment makes it difficult to succeed?

• Are goals clearly defined and aligned for success?

• Are roles clearly defined and aligned for success?

• How effective are the processes, policies, procedures, rewards, etc.?

• Do we have the right knowledge, skills, and experience to be successful?

• What constraints (time, resources, etc.) does this situation present for you and others?

Learning how to ask the right questions about behaviors and the environment enables you to have a holistic view for problem-solving and defining meaningful action toward solutions.

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Why Self-Leadership Is Your Key To Career Success In 2022 And Beyond

Today's business environment requires a more diverse and dynamic skillset from employees than ever before. Employees must collaborate with more people, navigate matrixed structures, address rapid change, and perform in uncertain situations. A quick look at the World Economic Forum’s list of the Top 10 Job Skills For 2025 reveals this new reality. The top 9 skills are all focused on enabling employees to navigate important, complex, and relational situations that regularly occur in the work environment.

1. Analytical thinking and innovation

2. Active learning and learning strategies

3. Complex problem-solving

4. Critical thinking and analysis

5. Resilience, stress tolerance, and flexibility

6. Creativity, originality, and initiative

7. Leadership and social influence

8. Reasoning, problem-solving, and idea generation

9. Emotional intelligence

10. Technology design and programming

The most successful people at work and in life share a pattern of foundational Self-Leadership behaviors that allow them to demonstrate self-awareness, emotional intelligence, inclusion, mindfulness, empathy, social intelligence, and learning agility during their most challenging and complex situations. Research shows that those who demonstrate advanced Self-Leadership skills:  

Perform higher in boundary-spanning jobs that require sensitivity to social cues 

• Are more effective at resolving interpersonal conflicts

• Are more likely to be seen as a leader  

• Receive more promotions

What is Self-Leadership?

No doubt you have heard or read how important it is for employees to demonstrate self-awareness, emotional intelligence, inclusion, mindfulness, empathy, social intelligence, and learning agility in the workplace. Self-Leadership is a fundamental skill set that enables a person to demonstrate the behaviors that reflect these concepts. Additionally, Self-Leadership is the foundation that enables leaders to effectively express all their other knowledge, skills, abilities, passions, and values. 

Understanding how to develop advanced Self-Leadership skills has never been more essential for employees to experience career success. The challenge is that mastering these concepts can become overwhelming when looking at all the research on the topics of self-awareness, emotional intelligence, inclusion, mindfulness, empathy, social intelligence, and learning agility. Each of these disciplines has a depth and breadth of literature while also containing commonalities and overlapping principles. Most people do not have the time or desire to become experts in all these concepts. 

How To Develop Self-Leadership Skills

The SOAR Self-Leadership Model provides a practical roadmap for demonstrating self-awareness, emotional intelligence, mindfulness, social intelligence, and agility when engaging your important and complex situations that require strong relationships for success. The SOAR model takes the fewest, most important knowledge and skills from each of these concepts and places them into a person-centric, replicable, and research-backed roadmap for developing your Self-Leadership abilities. The four phases of the model are Self, Outlook, Action, and Reflection (SOAR). 

For better or worse, you bring Self to every important, complex, and relational situation you encounter at work and in life. This interaction immediately impacts your Outlook, how you perceive the situation, which drives the Actions you select that lead to a positive, negative, or neutral outcome. After the fact, you spend time in Reflection that accelerates continuous growth and greater awareness of Self. That is the model.

This model enables you to reflect critically on your behavior, identify ways your thoughts or actions might be contributing to the problem, and then make appropriate changes to how you choose to act. You can assess how well you are demonstrating Self-Leadership by asking yourself if your actions and values are aligned, and if they are helping you progress towards your long-term goals.

𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁

𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳

1. I am clear about my overarching purpose

2. I can name the personal values I believe in the most

3. I align my actions to my purpose and personal values

4. I can describe the environment that brings out my Best Self

5. I can describe the environment that brings out my Worst Self

6. I understand my strengths and how to leverage them

7. I understand my weaknesses and how to mitigate them

8. I prioritize self-care to address my most basic needs

9. I am aware of when my most fundamental needs are not being met

𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸

1. I try to understand others’ situations before making judgments

2. I am aware of how my perception biases can distort how I view situations and people

3. I am aware of my emotions and can accurately describe my feelings.

4. I know what situations trigger my negative emotions

5. I understand how my negative feelings can affect my behaviors

6. When feeling negative emotions, I always pause to gain balance before taking action

7. I use my breathing to calm my emotions

8. I seek diverse perspectives when encountering complex situations

9. I stay true to my Best Self when engaging with difficult situations

𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

During my most difficult conversations:

1. I set intentions that align with my goals and values

2. I try to create clarity and alignment on the core issue

3. I am capable of managing others' defensiveness reactions

4. I actively try to understand others’ perspectives 

5. I ask follow-up questions to increase my understanding

6. I allow for silence after asking a question

7. I am prepared to share my perspectives on the issue

8. I engage others in creating solutions

9. I develop clear agreements for shared action  

𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

1. I regularly practice reflection to learn from my actions

2. I set development goals for ongoing improvement

3. I prioritize time for learning

4. I deliberately practice developing new skills

5. I share my growth goals with trusted peers

6. I have a social network that supports my learning and growth

7. I create strategies for overcoming recurring challenges to my development

8. I actively seek feedback from others

9. I listen to constructive feedback without being defensive

More than ever, you need to develop your Self-Leadership abilities so that you can continually evolve your lens, frameworks, and actions to navigate new challenges and opportunities. In an ever-changing environment when your typical habits, behaviors, and thinking are not enough, the SOAR model serves as a framework to help you assess and develop your Self-Leadership skills.

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Success in today's workforce requires employees to engage with more people, navigate matrixed structures, address rapid change, and perform in uncertain situations. The most successful employees share a pattern of foundational Self-Leadership behaviors that enable them to demonstrate self-awareness, emotional intelligence, inclusion, mindfulness, empathy, social intelligence, and learning agility during challenging and complex situations. Research shows that those who demonstrate advanced Self-Leadership skills: 

• Perform higher in boundary-spanning jobs that require sensitivity to social cues 

• Are more effective at resolving interpersonal conflicts

• Are more likely to be seen as a leader 

• Receive more promotions

Self-Leadership is the foundation that enables employees to effectively express all their other knowledge, skills, abilities, passions, and values. To assess how well you are demonstrating Self-Leadership you can ask yourself, “Are my daily actions aligned to my values, and are those actions helping me make progress towards my core purpose?”

1) Clarify Purpose

There is a passage from Alice In Wonderland by Lewis Carroll that says, “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” This simple quote illustrates the importance of knowing your desired destination in life and work. Clarity of purpose may sound nebulous, but when we witness a person who understands and lives their unique purpose, we see the positive impact. When your actions align with your core purpose, you gain the following benefits.

• High energy and enthusiasm

• Strong commitment to the organization, workgroup, and role

• Consistent levels of excellence

• A clear vision of desired outcomes

2) Practice Emotional Awareness

People who develop their ability to identify and label negative feelings become less stressed, which allows them to think more clearly and creatively when finding constructive solutions. Research clearly shows those who are the quickest to recover from distress are the people who can identify their feelings and put those feeling into words. As scientists like to say, naming an emotion helps you tame it. Below are three ways to identify and label your negative emotions.

1. Talk to a trusted friend about how you feel 

2. Identify and write down your feelings

3. Go somewhere where you can say out loud what you are feeling

The chart below can help you become more precise when labeling your emotions.

3) Choose Your Best Outlook

Your behaviors are a direct reflection of the Outlook that you bring to any situation. Self-Leadership requires you to be aware of when negative emotions impact how you perceive situations, make decisions, solve problems, and collaborate with others. During challenging interactions, you can establish a long-term orientation by aligning your “in the moment” intentions to your goals and values. Taking the time to answer these two simple questions enables you to bring your best self to your challenging and charged situations. 

1. What are my long-term goals for this person or group of people?

2. Based on my answer to the previous question, what are my best intentions for my next interaction with this person or group of people?

4) Ask Higher-Quality Questions

Our primary tool for demonstrating empathy and building healthy relationships is the ability to ask Quality Questions. Quality Questions are those that promote a safe space for thoughtful reflection about the issue at hand. These types of positive interactions create a foundation of mutual trust and respect. Below are three essential components of higher-quality questions.

1) Focus On Understanding Not Judgment: Questions that contain judgment negatively impact others’ psychological safety and can put them in a reactive fight-or-flight state. Questions that focus on understanding and learning encourage reflection and are more likely to stimulate trust and collaboration.

2) Open-Ended: The best open-ended questions tend to be What, How, and Why questions because they are broader and invite more input.

3) Follow-up Questions: These questions have special power because they allow others to think more deeply about what you are asking them and helps them articulate the thinking behind their perspectives. The art of asking great follow-up questions lies in your ability to allow for silence. 

5) Seek Feedback

Receiving honest feedback helps you address blind spots and evolve thinking and behaviors in pursuit of achieving the desired goal. To receive honest feedback, you must create a safe environment by actively giving permission and expressing openness and desire to receive feedback. 

• Be Specific About Feedback You Desire

• Ask For Feedback Frequently

• Avoid Defensive Responses

6) Practice Reflection

Research shows that a regular practice of reflection increases a person's capacity to demonstrate emotional intelligence, social skills, and learning agility. Rolfe et al.’s (2001) reflective model is probably one of the simplest reflective models because it centers around asking three simple questions: 

WHAT? 

• What was the opportunity or challenge?

• What happened?

• What did I notice (five senses)

SO WHAT? 

• So what worked or did not?

• So what was confirmed?

• So what do I still not know?

NOW WHAT? 

• Now what actions will I do differently  or the same next time?

• Now what is the best way for me to move forward from this experience?

• Now what are my goals moving forward?

This practical approach provides a framework to assess past experience, make meaning of the experience, and decide what the experience means for future action.

More than ever, employees need to focus on developing their Self-Leadership abilities so they can continually evolve their lens, frameworks, and actions to navigate new challenges and opportunities. To learn more about Self-Leadership and the SOAR Self-Leadership Model read Tony's Forbes article, Why Self-Leadership Is Your Key To Career Success In 2022 And Beyond. 

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Effective Self-Leadership requires you to be aware when your emotions are negatively impacting how you perceive situations, make decisions, solve problems, and collaborate with others. The goal is to develop your ability to effectively manage your emotions so that they inform you but don’t define you.

 1) Learn To Pause

Pausing when you are feeling negative emotions allows you to regain your balance and perspective before choosing your best actions that align with your values and goals. Pausing allows you to catch up with your negative emotions before you react.

2) Breathe To Calm Emotions

We have an intuitive understanding that our breath can calm our mind and emotions. Most of us have either told others or been told ourselves to "take a deep breath” when encountering difficult situations. Since our breathing happens automatically, many of us don’t give the breath as much attention as it deserves and have not learned to harness its full potential to calm our minds and emotions.

3) Name It To Tame It

The simple act of naming your emotion helps your brain move it from the areas of your brain that are equipped to address physical threat to the more rational parts that serve you in problem solving, relationships, and creativity. As neuroscientists like to say, naming an emotion helps you tame it.

The more specific we are in naming our emotions the more prepared we will be to take the right steps forward. If you are experiencing a strong emotion, take a moment to label it. But do not stop there: once you have identified it, try to come up with two more words that describe how you are feeling. This exercise helps you uncover the deeper emotion beyond the more obvious one.

4) What Can You Control?

Stephen Covey’s Circle of Influence provides a practical framework for when we need to challenge feelings of helplessness by identifying attitudes and activities within our control or influence. The point is to create awareness by defining the worries to let go of because they are beyond our influence while at the same time identifying the areas where our efforts will have a real impact.

The most successful among us – know that it is not the adversity itself but what we do with it that determines our fate. 

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