A simple example of two people with two vastly different emotional states: anxiety, and calm concern. The two emotional states are a response to the same problem. It highlights how we come to create storylines of things in our head, and the importance of choosing to be present in our mind to select better thoughts and thereby adapt differently.

Jane & Mary

Jane and Mary have received the same letter from their GP, requesting they make an appointment about a general blood test they had the previous week. Both women are in their late 50’s and have entered a new phase of care due to their age. Despite the letter saying ‘there is nothing to worry about’ something in Jane is activated. Since receiving the letter, she cannot sleep, she ruminates obsessively about having a serious illness and due to having to wait two weeks for an appointment, finally contemplates her death.

Mary on the other hand notes that ‘there is nothing to worry about’. Mary does not consider herself in imminent danger and therefore approaches her two-week appointment wait with a calm concern. 

The example points out that no two people are the same, but more importantly it shows how the person who responds to a problem with a sense of anxiety, like Jane, can adapt that behaviour to resemble the person who responds with a sense of calm concern, like Mary.

The Storyline

When we feel anxiety the best place to start challenging it is by looking at the storylines we have created in our mind during contemplation of the event or situation. For example:

Janes spiralling negative thoughts that created a storyline of anxiety provoking events:

• “I’ve never had a letter like that from my GP before. I usually just make a call for any blood results?”

• “There must be a serious problem.”

• “I had a kidney infection last year; I wonder if it is anything to do with that?”

• “My father died of cancer. I have always worried about getting it.”

• “I must have a serious illness.”

• “I have got to wait two weeks for my appointment.”

• “My illness might progress.”

• “I may die.”

Mary’s storyline of calm concern:

• “That’s unusual. But the letter says there is nothing to worry about.”

• “I feel in good health.” 

• “It was only a general blood test.”

• “There are no noticeable negative changes in my body.”

• “I’m not going to worry. I don’t feel in any imminent danger.”

• “If I start to feel poorly over the next week, I might give the surgery a call to confirm what the appointment is for”.

Transforming Anxiety-Provoking Thoughts

Anxiety is a normal and healthy emotion that everyone experiences from time to time. However, when anxiety becomes overwhelming or persistent, it can start to interfere with our daily lives. One way to manage anxiety is to learn how to transform anxiety-provoking thoughts into thoughts of calm concern.

What are Anxiety-Provoking Thoughts?

Anxiety-provoking thoughts are thoughts that make us feel anxious. They are often negative and unrealistic, and they can lead to feelings of worry, fear, and stress. Some other common examples of anxiety-provoking thoughts include:

• "I'm going to fail."

• "I'm not good enough."

• "What if something bad happens?"

• "I can't handle this."

How to Transform Anxiety-Provoking Thoughts

There are a number of ways to transform anxiety-provoking thoughts into thoughts of calm concern. Here are a few tips:

• Challenge your thoughts. When you have an anxiety-provoking thought, take a moment to challenge it. Ask yourself if it is really true, or if there is another way to look at the situation? For example, if you think "I'm going to fail," you could challenge that thought by reminding yourself of your past successes.

• Focus on the present moment. Anxiety is often caused by worrying about the future or dwelling on the past. When you find yourself feeling anxious, try to focus on the present moment. Pay attention to your surroundings and what you are doing. This can help you to ground yourself and to feel more in control.

• Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment, without judgment.

• Seek professional help. If you are struggling to manage your anxiety, it is important to seek professional help. A therapist can help you to understand your anxiety and to develop coping skills.

If we are feeling low, tired, depressed, stressed, have low blood sugar levels, have had little sleep, or have simply had a bad day, we are more likely to spiral into negative storylines like those of Jane. Our mood will attract and arouse like for like storylines, they are often automatic and start just below our conscious life.

To stay happy, we need to have an equal number of good things going on in our lives! Catch yourself in the thoughts and make notes of where the spiralling storyline began.