JANUARY 12, 1969

There is no greater achievement in the history of sports than to be a world champion. Not only did the New York Jets accomplish this in the third Super Bowl ever played, but they made history in 1969 with a stunning upset over the Baltimore Colts 16-7 as an eighteen point underdog. Joe Namath, the savior of the franchise, guaranteed that the Jets would win and his bold proclamation proved to be correct in more ways than one. Now that a team from the AFL got their taste of victory, there will be bigger challenges for this franchise ahead. But for the Jets, the future should be promising and bright… right?

1969

Fresh off a Super Bowl championship, the Jets are hoping to prove that last year was not a fluke. They finish the season 10-4 and have a home matchup against another hopeful franchise in the Kansas City Chiefs. Unfortunately, the offense completely shuts down in a three-pick day for Joe Namath as New York loses 13-6. Alright, it’s not the worst thing in the world. It is very rare that a team wins back-to-back championships. Next year should be a clean reset for them to get back on track.

1970

Okay by reset, I didn’t mean go back five years. The team started off 1-4, and after Namath suffered a broken wrist that ended his season, they finished with a 4-10 record. At least New York got to play the first football game ever on Monday night. In which they got crushed by the Browns at home thanks to yet another three-pick day for Namath.

1971

Let’s just hope that last year was an anomaly. The Jets got the sixth overall pick in that year’s draft and selected some running back named John Riggins. Their quarterback is coming back and the core is still intact. Time to make another playoff push. On second thought, the season is over before a regular season game is even played. Namath suffered a knee injury that required him to miss two months, George Sauer Jr. ended up retiring in his prime, and Verlon Briggs decided to get out while he still could to sign with the Washington Redskins. As a result, the team finishes with a meh 6-8 record and once again fails to make the playoffs. How wonderful.

NOVEMBER, 1972

There you go, Jets! You’re finally hitting your stride at the right time. 6-3 record and in perfect position to clinch a Wild Card spot. As long as you win a few more games, you’ll officially make it back to the big dance. 

DECEMBER 17, 1972

In typical Jets fashion, the team takes the piss by losing four out of their final five games to miss the playoffs. The reason why is the typical fare. Injuries, stagnation, tougher competition, that sort of thing. At least Namath didn’t get hurt this time.

1973

This is probably the final year that New York can do anything with the core they’ve had since 1968. Let’s hope they can avenge last season’s collapse. They might have to play their first six games on the road due to the Mets being in the World Series, but Weeb Ewbank is a hell of a coach. He’ll make sure his team doesn’t fold. 

DECEMBER, 1973

Oh you actually thought that things would change? Namath once again got sidelined due to a shoulder injury, the team ages badly, and they finish with an abysmal 4-10 record. Sounds like a trend.

OFFSEASON, 1974

Weeb Ewbanks retired, so it is time to bring in a winner! Charley Winner that is, ladies and gentlemen! With the sixth pick in the draft, the Jets decide to take defensive tackle Carl Barzilauskas and ink him to the highest rookie contract in NFL history! He can question how tough everybody in the NFL is all he wants because New York has their guy! Unfortunately, he only lasted three seasons with the team before getting traded to Green Bay, before retiring in 1979. Let’s see if there was anybody else that New York could have drafted. Hall of Famer Jack Lambert? Eh, they couldn’t have seen that coming. We’ll give them a break… for now.

1974

Unfortunately, the season doesn’t start out so well. Namath might have been healthy for all fourteen games, but a 1-7 start is not one that many teams recover from. However, the team finds its form in the middle of the season and wins six straight games to close out the season with a 500 record. Maybe things needed to take time and they can take off the following season?

NFL DRAFT, 1975

It turns out the Jets traded their first round pick to the Saints for defensive end Billy Newsome, who had a solid eight-sack season in his first year with the team, but only played two games the following year before breaking his ribs. If there is any solace, New Orleans did not draft a slam dunk with that pick.  

1975

Remember what I said about the team hopefully picking up where they left off at the end of last year? Well it turns out that the Jets know nothing about consistency and fall off a cliff at 3-11. Charley Winner gets fired after nine games and the defense is so bad that it surrendered the second most passing yards per attempt in NFL History. It’s also hard to have success when your quarterback throws twenty-eight interceptions and only fifteen touchdown passes. One last thing, John Riggins is gone, so let's hope he doesn't have sustained success somewhere else.

FEBRUARY 10, 1976

It’s time to think outside the box and hire a well-respected college head coach in Lou Holtz to get this team back on track! Surely, that is always a successful transition! 

NFL DRAFT, 1976

It’s also time to start thinking about replacing Joe Namath. He might have led this team to glory eight years ago, but let’s be real, he’s one of the most overrated quarterbacks of all time. Not always healthy, turnover-prone, and is more known for off-the-field publicity than winning football games. They do have the sixth overall pick to work with once again! Let’s draft his clone in Richard Todd to be the next in line! Genius!

WEEK 14, 1976

Okay, so this team sucks again, but it’s only year one for Holtz. Rebuilds time and he’ll be a hero in no time! Yeah, about that. With one left game to play in the season, Holtz resigned to become the next head coach at Arkansas. It couldn’t happen to a better franchise. Why do I have a feeling that something like this is going to happen again?

OFFSEASON, 1977

Joe Namath is gone but not only do they already have their quarterback in Richard Todd, but the Jets found their new head coach in Walt Michaels! He was a champion in 1968, so hopefully this means that this defense can get back into shape and the offense can follow suit! However, there is one matter that needs to be resolved.

SPRING, 1977

Not only is Shea Stadium the home of the New York Jets, but if you remember from earlier, they share that building with their baseball brothers in the New York Mets. As a result, the Jets had to start their seasons with long road trips and these would sometimes drag on if the Mets ended up making deep playoff runs. Fortunately, a compromise was reached that allowed the Jets to play in Shea for two September home games beginning in 1978, but that didn’t fix the team’s woes.

1977

Not only do the Jets take offensive tackle Marvin Powell with the fourth overall pick, but they stumble onto this guy named Joe Klecko in the sixth round. I mean, they did the same thing in the seventh round of last year's draft with Abdul Salaam, so this could work! The Jets might be completely awful again at 3-10, but it’s time to start building for the future baby!

1978

After a season-ending injury to Richard Todd, the team looks like its heading towards another downward spiral at 2-3, but manage to finish with a respectable 8-8 record due to Michaels’ guidance. The team still has flaws, but at least they’re getting better! That’s a good sign, right?

1979

With their first two picks in the draft, the Jets selected two more defensive stallworths to solidify their pass rush: Marty Lyons and Mark Gastineau! You pair those two with Klecko, you’ve got yourself a formidable trio! However, another quarterback carousel causes the team to miss the playoffs at 8-8. Yeah, it turns out you need more than three players to be good.

NFL DRAFT, 1980

It’s time to start this offseason with a bang! Let’s trade two future first-round picks to the 49ers for the second overall pick in the draft! Who did the Jets select? Wide receiver Lam Jones, easily the best one in the entire class! Who needs this offensive lineman named Anthony Muñoz anyways? He is coming off a serious knee injury and our doctors advised us not to take him! It’s not like he is going to have a Hall of Fame career or anything like that (spoiler alert: he did). Jones, on the other hand, gets the first million-dollar contract in the NFL. A wise investment, you might say, but then you come to find out that the only thing he was known for was dropping passes and blazing speed. In his five years with the Jets, he only had one season with over 500 receiving yards and four touchdown receptions. So who did the 49ers draft with the picks they got anyways? Earl Cooper and Jim Stuckey. Eh, that won’t haunt us.

1980

Like many seasons since Super Bowl 3, the Jets completely play like garbage and finish with a 4-12 record, extremely disappointing for a team that was hoping to finally make a push for the playoffs. The best moments from that season were giving the Saints their only win of the year and Richard Todd throwing a whopping thirty interceptions. That should say it all.

NFL DRAFT, 1981

With the third overall pick in the draft, the Jets selected a quality running back in Freeman McNeill. It might not have been a fan favorite at the time, but he didn’t turn out to be a flop the way that Lam Jones did. Although, there were a few future Hall of Famers that New York missed out on. Instead of taking Mike Singletary or Howie Long in the second round, they went with another running back. McNeill might have been a solid player, but he didn’t have the career that Ronnie Lott had. I’m skeptical to how this season is going to play out.

OCTOBER, 1981

Oh great, here we go again. This team is 3-4-1 and are on pace to miss the playoffs again. Well, we might as well buy the beers early this time. 

DECEMBER, 1981

Wait a minute, you’re telling me this team didn’t suck this year? They won seven of their final eight games to make the playoffs? It only took them twelve years! Richard Todd didn’t suck, Freeman McNeill had a promising rookie season, but it was the newly hailed New York Sack Exchange that got them to this point! They didn’t just have one guy with twenty sacks that year, but TWO! With Gastineau and Klecko dominating the edge, along with Salaam and Lyons penetrating the middle, there was no other ferocious front four that season! This is going to be a scary team to watch out for in the playoffs.

WILD CARD, 1981

Well that was as disappointing of a game as I have seen in my life. Despite both Todd and Bills quarterback Joe Ferguson, the Jets fell behind as much as twenty-four points in the second quarter, and it was too late for the team to catch up towards their division rival. It was still a fun season and it gave their fans more hope than they have had in over a decade!

NFL DRAFT, 1982

A player’s strike has negatively impacted the upcoming NFL season, so the Jets only got to play nine games as a result. With their first-round pick in the draft, the team selected linebacker Bob Crable. He was clearly one of the best players that Notre Dame ever had, but not only could he not replicate that success in the NFL, he suffered two knee injuries that ended his NFL career after six years. Why do I bring this up? Because in the next round, their division rival in the Patriots decided to select a linebacker as well: Hall of Famer Andre Tippett.

1982

It doesn’t matter though because the Jets picked up right where they left off last year. Even though they finished with the sixth seed in the AFC, it was time for the Jets to let them know that this was the time for them to right the wrongs they made last year. Impressive and stunning upsets over the Cincinnati Bengals and Los Angeles Raiders allowed the Jets to reach the conference championship game for the first time since their Super Bowl run! This is their destiny now!

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP, 1982

Against their division rival in the Miami Dolphins, the Jets knew they had what it took to win. There was just one external factor they didn’t take into consideration: Mother Nature. A monsoon forced the fields in the Orange Bowl to be completely soggy and muddy, which resulted in one of the ugliest playoff games of all time. In what is now known as the Mud Bowl, both Richard Todd and David Woodley had two of the worst quarterback performances in postseason history. The Dolphins quarterback completed just nine out of twenty-three passes for eighty-seven yards with three interceptions and four sacks taken, but it was Todd that became the goat of the matchup. Going fifteen of thirty-seven for 103 yards, the former sixth overall pick threw five interceptions in a 14-0 defeat. All you need to know from that game is one name that will always make Jets fans quiver: AJ Duhe. But you know what? Instead of accepting responsibility for the failure, let’s just double down and blame the Dolphins for not covering up the field, even though our offense once again defecated on a national stage!

ONE WEEK LATER

Hey, you remember that John Riggins dude? Not only does he win a Super Bowl with the Washington Redskins, but he wins the MVP of that whole game. I don’t know, maybe you shouldn’t have let him walk away for nothing. Just saying.

OFFSEASON, 1983

The 1983 offseason begins with a surprising resignation from their head coach Walt Michaels. He said that burnout was the biggest factor, but reports surfaced that it was owner Leon Hall that forced him to quit due to a temper problem. Either way, it is still an unfortunate ending for a man that helped the Jets get back on the map. To make matters worse, Abdul Salaam was traded, making him the first of the Sack Exchange to leave the team.

NFL DRAFT, 1983

Okay, this is a huge day for the New York Jets. The last two years proved that Richard Todd is nothing more than a liability and he needs to be replaced. Thankfully, there is a quarterback available that New York could desperately need. Dan Marino, the handsome gunslinger from Pittsburgh with one of the greatest arms anyone has ever seen. Watching Pete Rozelle walk up to the podium to announce the pick had to be the most nerve wracking moment the fanbase experienced that season. I might not have been alive to witness it live, but I remember the words playing out in my head. “The Jets take with their first round-selection, quarterback… Ken O’Brien of California Davis.” KEN O’BRIEN? Okay, of all the draft blunders the Jets had in their history, this is easily the most painful. Don’t get me wrong, O’Brien had a decent career, but I think we all know who ended up being the better player.

1983

As a result, the Jets get the wonderful gift known as karma walking up to their door-step with a 7-9 record and no playoff spot. Joe Walton did the best he could in his first year on the job via promotion, but once again, the biggest liability was at the quarterback position. Bet you wish you drafted Marino now.

OFFSEASON, 1984

It’s a new period of time for the New York Jets. After a long stay at Shea Stadium, the organization moved to the Meadowlands to play their home games in Giants Stadium. Sharing a venue with another organization. Let’s just hope it doesn’t backfire like it did the last time.

NFL DRAFT, 1984

Wait a minute, somebody actually wanted to trade a draft pick for Richard Todd? The Saints were willing to give up a first? Holy crap, we actually fleeced them this time! Not really though, because the Jets used that selection to pick Ron Faurot, a defensive end who played just two seasons with the team and finished with only two sacks. Their original first round selection was used to draft safety Russell Carter, who only played three seasons with the club. Eh, Wilber Marshall is not really going to do that much with the Bears, right?

1984

The great news is that Mark Gastineau made NFL history by setting the all-time sack record in a season with twenty-two, one that would not be broken for another seventeen years. The bad was that the team finished 7-9 once again and failed to make the playoffs. Is Ken O’Brien actually going to be given a chance to start this time around?

NFL DRAFT, 1985

Alright, the Jets can’t screw up this draft, right? Let’s see who they took. Wide receiver Al Toon from Wisconsin. Okay, three time Pro Bowler, led the league in receptions in 1988, made a couple of All Pro teams, and is in the team’s Ring of Honor. Pretty solid if I say so myself! Please tell me there was nobody else better they could have taken. JERRY RICE? You’re kidding me!

1985

Regardless, the Jets become the surprise story of the league and have an outstanding 11-5 season! Ken O’Brien got his opportunity and finished the year with the lowest interception rate, Freeman McNeill had over 1300 rushing yards, and the Sack Exchange are the cornerstones of a defense that allowed the third fewest points in the NFL! With the fourth seed in the AFC, they are three point favorites against their inferior division rival in the New England Patriots. As long as they take care of business in this round, the Jets will be fine. 

WILD CARD, 1985

After a close first half in which New York trailed by six, the offense sputtered out and fell behind 23-7, before O’Brien got benched for backup Pat Ryan. Unfortunately, the change did nothing as the Jets lost in heartbreaking fashion to New England in front of a raucous crowd. Here’s at least a silver lining. Even though the Patriots went on to upset the Dolphins for a trip to the Super Bowl, they got demolished by the Chicago Bears, so knows if the Jets would have suffered a different fate. Trust me, that is a coping mechanism that Jets fans would master for years to come.

1986

The Jets make it back to the playoffs, despite losing their last five games after starting the season 10-1. After blowing out the Kansas City Chiefs in the Wild Card, their next challenge is in the Dawg Pound against the Cleveland Browns. The Jets have a 20-10 lead in the fourth quarter with four minutes left and the game all but theirs. Just close the deal and they'll be back in the AFC Championship.

NFL DIVISIONAL, 1986

On second down and twenty-two, after Bernie Kosar got rid of the football to the right side of the field, Mark Gastineau came through with a late push to knock the quarterback to the ground. This prompted a roughing the passer penalty to not only extend the drive, but to keep the Cleveland Browns in the game. All of a sudden, they march right down the field to make it a three-point contest, but New York is getting the ball back. As long as they use the clock to their advantage, they’ll be fine. Spoiler alert, they didn’t. Bernie Kosar rallied the Browns down the field to force the game into overtime, and even with all of the late opportunities New York was given, they failed to capitalize. Eventually, in what would be one of the longest overtime games ever, Mark Moseley made the chip shot field goal to give the Browns a 23-20 victory. This is why you can’t have any nice things, Jets fans.

NFL DRAFT, 1987

Not only have the Jets mastered making the wrong draft picks, but they have done well at making random selections as well. They didn’t reach for a quarterback or a wide receiver or even a cornerback. Why not take a fullback named Roger Vick? Anybody else would have worked! Oh wait, Christian Okoye was in that draft class? Never mind.

1987

Despite Ken O’Brien having the fewest interception rate for the second time in his career, another player’s strike impacted what was supposed to be a revenge season for the Jets. Unfortunately, after starting the season 6-5, the team lost its final four games to miss the playoffs. The biggest blow, however, was losing Joe Klecko due to a knee injury that resulted in his release. Make that two members of the Sack Exchange that didn’t end their career in green and white.

NFL DRAFT, 1988

Because of another disappointing season, the Jets landed the eighth overall pick in the NFL Draft. Deciding to upgrade the interior on the offensive line, the team selected guard Dave Cadigan, who had a decent five-year career with the organization, but didn’t become a full-time starter until his final three seasons. Don’t tell me there was somebody else better that was on the board for New York. Hall of Famer Randall McDaniel. I’m not even angry anymore.

1988

After last year’s unfortunate collapse, the Jets offense managed to bounce back and score the sixth most points in the NFL. However, the defense takes a surprising regression and it causes the team to barely miss the postseason with an 8-7-1 record. That is not even the most shocking part. Just seven weeks into the season, Mark Gastineau abruptly announced his retirement from the game to be there for his ill wife, Bridgette Nielsen. He was told that she had cancer, but it turned out that she misinterpreted the doctor’s report, which led to many of his teammates losing trust and respect for him. Now, Marty Lyons is the only member of the Sack Exchange that is left on the football team. Damn, I wish this foursome didn’t have so much turmoil and drama surrounding their careers.

NFL DRAFT, 1989

It didn’t take too long to find Gastineau’s replacement. Jeff Lageman from Virginia: a little undersized and not as dominant, but a decent career nonetheless. The good news is that the Jets didn’t pass up on a future Hall of Famer. That’s at least a good sign, right?

1989

Yeah, never mind. The team completely shoots itself back into the dumpster with a 4-12 record and everybody takes more than a few steps back. Ken O’Brien decided to imitate Joe Namath by throwing more picks than touchdown passes, Freeman McNeill only ran for over 350 yards in eleven games played, and the defense turned into a turnstile. As a result, Joe Walton was shown the door and given the pink slip. He reached his expiration date a while ago, but after this season, it was bound to happen.

OFFSEASON, 1990

It’s time to replace one offensive-minded coach with another: Bruce Coslet of the Cincinnati Bengals. I mean, they did make it to two Super Bowls! How can that not be motivating? The Jets also have the second overall pick in the draft! This one has to be a hit.

NFL DRAFT, 1990

Oh, you actually had optimism for a second there! How cute! The Jets selected Blair Thomas, a running back from Penn State who never reached 1000 yards nor more than three touchdowns in a season! What makes this even worse is that there was another running back that the Jets could have drafted: Hall of Famer Emmitt Smith! Did I happen to tell you he has the record for the most career rushing yards in NFL History? 

1990

They also failed to make the playoffs, but who even cares about that right now?

NFL DRAFT, 1991

So the Jets forfeited their first round pick to take wide receiver Rob Moore in the supplemental draft, but they did take a Pro Bowl linebacker Mo Lewis in the third round. Remember that name.

1991

The Jets finished the regular season 8-8, yet somehow stumbled into the playoff picture as a Wild Card team. They can thank the Dolphins for losing their final two games of the season to get eliminated from contention, but New York got what was expected of them: an ugly Wild Card defeat with a three-interception performance from their quarterback. This time, it was to the Houston Oilers.

1992

This was easily one of the most nightmarish seasons the Jets ever had in their franchise’s history. I’m not even talking about the draft pick, it’s not shocking that Johnny Mitchell didn’t work out. It all started with Ken O’Brien holding out in hopes for a new contract extension, and unsurprisingly, a new deal was not met whatsoever. It ended up lingering into the regular season, which prompted second-year backup Browning Nagle into the lineup. When O’Brien did end up returning to action, he got hurt and missed the final four games of the season. He wasn’t the only one. Al Toon suffered his ninth concussion in eight seasons and was forced to retire from the game as a result. Jeff Lageman got hurt after two games and was never the same player. Freeman McNeill ended up retiring at the end of the season as well. But in a loss to the Chiefs at home, defensive end Dennis Byrd collided with an opposing player on a forced fumble and was paralyzed due to a fractured vertebrae in his neck. Thankfully, he regained the ability to walk, but to say that the Jets had a typical 4-12 season would be a total understatement.

OFFSEASON, 1993

So Ken O’Brien is still searching for a new deal, huh? Well we can just replace him, he’s nothing but an average starter anyways. Guess what, fans? We just acquired Boomer Esiason! He’s past his prime, but hey, Bruce loves him! 

NFL DRAFT, 1993

With the fourth overall pick, the Jets drafted linebacker Marvin Jones, who had a ten-year career with the team. I mean, at least he wasn’t horrible, but here's the catch. The Jets moved down one spot in a trade with the Phoenix Cardinals, who not only gave New York running back Johnny Johnson, but soon drafted his replacement in Pro Bowler Garrison Hearst. You’re seriously still missing out on players after all these years?

1993

As the team got healthier, the team played a little better than the last few years. The defense was the team’s biggest strength as it gave up the sixth fewest points and ranked fifth in takeaways, but the biggest vice on the team was, you guessed it! The offense! Despite 800 rushing yards from their newly acquired running back, it turned out that the quarterback was once again holding them back from elevating the team’s ceiling. At one point, they were 2-0. Then they were 2-3, then 7-4, and finished the year 8-8. Too much inconsistency, plus sixteen touchdowns to eleven interceptions equals mediocrity.

OFFSEASON, 1994

This wouldn’t be a Jets season without some sort of strife from the front office or coaching staff. Management has asked Bruce Coslet to give up play-calling duties, but he has insistently denied. Well guess what happens when you have no cache or resume of success? That’s right, you get the boot. As a result, the Jets decide to promote their defensive coordinator Pete Carroll to be the guy in charge. Oh, I can’t wait to see how this plays out.

NFL DRAFT, 1994

So the Jets got a first round pick right this time! Cornerback Aaron Glenn, I love the sound of that! Something tells me that this won’t be the first time we hear his name. 

WEEK 13, 1994

Okay, the Jets are 6-5 and they are going up against their hated rival in the Miami Dolphins, who are 7-4. Dan Marino has had a Hall of Fame career up to this point, but New York has a 24-6 lead against him in the third quarter. As long as they kept their foot on the gas, the Jets were going to keep their playoff hopes alive. Then, unsurprisingly, a comeback ensues and a collapse begins. It’s bad enough that the Dolphins came back to win the game, but Marino did it on the most surprising play unimaginable. Down three points with forty seconds left, Miami marched all the way down the field to the opponent’s eight yard line. Marino made it look like he was going to spike the ball to stop the clock, but instead, he faked it and dropped back in the pocket to throw the game-winning touchdown pass to Mark Clayton with twenty-two seconds remaining! Everybody in the stadium, including the Dolphins sideline, was left absolutely stunned. The Jets were completely fooled and it was sweet karma from a man the team passed on nine years ago. Here’s another fact: the defensive back that failed to make the play? Aaron Glenn. That my friends was a presentation on… The Fake Spike.

WEEK 17, 1994

That loss galvanized the team to lose its final four games of the regular season to finish the year 6-10. To add the cherry on top, the front office already had enough of Pete Carroll lounging around and decided to fire him at the end of the season. The next guy can’t be any worse.

OFFSEASON, 1995

They hired Rich Kotite. Because the Jets saw his tenure in Philadelphia and how the players gave up on him and thought “You know something? We need HIM!” This team is a joke.

NFL DRAFT, 1995

The 1995 NFL Draft arrives and the Jets have the ninth overall pick. One of the biggest holes in the roster that the team desperately needed to fix was their pass rush and there was one prospect that would be perfectly available. You might have heard of him, his name is Warren Sapp. Yes, he might have tested positive for a marijuana test, but nobody could deny his incredible athleticism and how much of a nightmare he could be to any offense. You could hear the fans in the Paramount Theatre at Madison Square Garden continuously screaming “We want Sapp!” Would the Jets oblige to the fan’s wishes and give them a potential face of the franchise? Nope! That would require logic and compassion. They reached for tight end Kyle Brady. One player would go on to be a Hall of Famer and a Super Bowl champion, while the other instantly flopped. Take a wild guess as to which player the Jets picked. The consolation prize for New York’s pass rush would be Hugh Douglas, who ended up having a promising career. The only catch is that he thrived the minute he left the Jets for Philadelphia. At least you signed Wayne Chrebet as an undrafted free agent. That ended up working out.

1995

To no surprise, the Jets were completely atrocious at 3-13. Who knew that putting Kotite in charge of football decisions would backfire completely? Wait, what do you mean you’re not firing him? You’re joking, right? RIGHT?

NFL DRAFT, 1996

The good news for the Jets was that they were terrible enough to land the first overall pick in the draft, in which they used to draft wide receiver Keyshawn Johnson. So he ended up having a solid career. That’s always good to hear! He’s not Marvin Harrison, but Johnson was incredibly talented and made three Pro Bowls, so it’s not the worst thing in the world.

OFFSEASON, 1996

So it turned out that Boomer Esiason was completely cooked! What an absolute shocker. Well, it is time to find a replacement. Let’s see here we have… Neil O’Donnell? The stud that threw two interceptions directly to Larry Brown in the Super Bowl? The Jets thought that he would be good? 

1996

It wasn’t enough for the team to win just three games last year because they needed to go lower. The Jets ended up having the worst record in the history of the franchise at 1-15, and to add insult to injury, Kotite is allowed to resign before the season ends. He wasn’t fired on the spot, but got to walk away with some semblance of dignity. 

OFFSEASON, 1997

Oh so NOW is the time the Jets decide to go all in for a head coach. They knew that if they were finally going to improve, they needed the best. That man’s name? Bill Parcells. He might be under contract with the New England Patriots, but we all know how pissed he is at Robert Kraft and how badly he wants to come back to New York. While Paul Tagliabue meddles with that affair, there’s the next best idea. Let’s bring in his protege Bill Belichick to be the interim head coach, and when we do get Parcells, we’ll work out a deal to make sure that he becomes the team’s next successor. Eventually, Parcells was allowed to coach the Jets and Belichick remained as the assistant head coach, but it did cost them a bunch of draft picks. Problem solved, let's move on.

NFL DRAFT, 1997

Not only did the Jets get the head coach they wanted, but they didn’t have to give up this year’s first round pick in the process. Initially, New York had the first overall pick once again, but Parcells decided to trade down. The consensus player was tackle Orlando Pace, a future Hall of Famer, yet the Jets were already set at that position. They moved seven spots down with the St. Louis Rams and drafted linebacker James Farrior, who turned into a solid player, but a majority of his success wasn’t with the Jets. Huh, that sounds very familiar!

1997

The team surprisingly does well with a 9-7 record! Neil O’Donnell wasn’t completely terrible, Adrian Murrell ran for 1000 yards, Keyshawn and Chrebet became an underrated receiver duo, and the defense looked respectable! Even though they didn’t make the playoffs, it was still an admirable season. This is what Parcells does after all: turn around failing programs. Next year will definitely be a lot better. They just need a few more pieces to become a serious contender.

OFFSEASON, 1998

Oh my gosh, the Jets robbed the Patriots again! Snatching up their head coach was one thing, but to take their best player Curtis Martin away in free agency is absolutely sickening! It might cost us a first and a third round pick, but it’s worth it! You add Bryan Cox and Vinny Testaverde to the roster, you have yourself a formidable team! The Jets are officially back, everybody! 

1998

The Jets went from 1-15 two years ago to 12-4 with an AFC East title! Vinny Testaverde was the starting quarterback in all of their victories, throwing twenty-nine touchdowns to just seven interceptions, and Martin continues to be one of the top five running backs in football! The offense finished fifth in points scored while the defense ranked second in points allowed! As a result, New York clinched a first-round bye in the playoffs and breezed through Jacksonville to advance to the AFC Championship! All they have to do is win one more game and they’ll be back in the Super Bowl for the first time in close to thirty years! Make us proud, Jets!

1998 AFC CHAMPIONSHIP

Unfortunately, the Jets cannot handle the altitude in Mile High as they get outclassed by the Denver Broncos, who would end up winning the championship just a couple weeks later. Better luck next year, I guess.

WEEK 1, 1999

Not even one game into the season, the team’s hopes of winning are completely crushed after Vinny Testaverde tore his Achilles. At least the punter did a pretty good job in emergency duty for one game!

WEEK 17, 1999

Hey the team still finished 8-8, that’s a pretty great coaching job for a team that didn’t have a quarterback. Unfortunately, there is a lot of change that is going to take place, and it’s not going to be exactly hopeful.

JANUARY 11, 2000

Shortly after the final game of the season, the Jets were successfully sold to Woody Johnson, after the previous owner of the franchise Leon Hess passed away. If you think this is it, you’d be completely wrong.

JANUARY, 2000

After the 1999 season concluded, the Patriots fired their head coach Pete Carroll, the same one that only lasted one year with the Jets in 2000. Looking for a new head coach, the team thought of a familiar face that could bring the team back to its winning ways: Bill Belichick. Remember him? He was Parcells’ right-hand man everywhere he went, one of the best defensive minds in the league, and somebody that was ready for another opportunity. The only problem was that when New England tried to let the Jets know they were interested, Bill Parcells was not happy. Remember when I said that New York came up with a plan in the offseason of 1997? To make Belichick the next head coach once Parcells decides to hang it up? Well when Parcells got word of it, that is exactly what he did. He resigned and it thrusted Belichick as the new guy in charge of the team. But here’s where everything starts to turn sideways. When Belichick agreed to be the next head coach, he did it with the thinking that Leon Hess would still be the owner. But now that Woody Johnson was in charge of the team, everything changed and Belichick wanted no business with him whatsoever. So just one day after the announcement, Bill Belichick held one of the most stunning press conferences in NFL History, by stepping down as the head coach of the Jets. The best part about it? His speech was on a paper napkin, simply stating “I resign as HC of the New York Jets.” Like I said earlier, it couldn’t happen to a better organization.

THREE WEEKS LATER

After holding Belichick hostage due to his contract, the Jets decided to finally let him go to the New England Patriots, but he didn’t walk away for free. New York ended up receiving a ton of draft compensation in return. Hopefully, he won’t haunt this franchise for eternity. As for the next head coach, the backup plan was not somebody forward-thinking, but a desperation pick. Belichick said heck no, so pick the next best “yes man” to Parcells and hire Al Groh instead. He won’t be a total disappointment.

NFL DRAFT, 2000

The Jets didn’t just have one first-round pick to work with, but FOUR! The first two were used to select two future stallworths of the defense in Shaun Ellis and John Abraham. The fourth was used for a tight end named Anthony Becht, but the most important one was their third first-round pick. Knowing that the Jets needed a quarterback, the team went with the best guy on the board and took Chad Pennington out of Marshall. Finally, they don’t have to worry about a hobbled Testaverde or Rick Mirer or even Ray Lucas to try to carry them to another mediocre season. Now, let’s make another playoff push, boys.

SIXTH ROUND, 2000 NFL DRAFT

Why is this being brought up? You’re actually scared that the Patriots took Tom Brady in the sixth round? He’s going to be completely useless. He’s a bum. There is absolutely no reason to talk about this whatsoever. Like this skinny, slow dude is going to do anything in the NFL. You know I had to go there.

OCTOBER 23, 2000

Holy crap, what a football game! After being down 30-7 at the start of the fourth quarter, the Jets made a furious comeback to upset the Miami Dolphins and improve to 6-1 for the season! This is truly a team of destiny! Testaverde still looks sharp, the defense is opportunistic, Martin is still a stud in the backfield, and Chrebet looks like the best undrafted player of all time! Super Bowl, here we come baby!

WEEK 17, 2000

You do realize this is the Jets that we’re talking about, right? After positioning them for a playoff spot with a 9-4 record, the team proceeded to lose its final three games of the season to get eliminated from contention. To add more salt to the wound, head coach Al Groh resigned at the end of the season to take the head coaching job at Virginia. At least he stayed the whole time, unlike another guy that fled off in the middle of the night. Wait, Parcells is gone too? Yeah, welcome back to square one Jets fans.

2001

A new year means a new era. The Jets stuck with the defensive-minded approach and hired the assistant head coach of the Buccaneers Herm Edwards to give this team a more modern and aggressive look, one we hadn’t seen from this franchise in a while. They used their first-round pick to select Santana Moss, but are still keeping Chad Pennington in the passenger’s seat for some reason. The strategy pays off for a good bit as the team finishes 10-6 with a Wild Card spot secured. However, the team gets completely dominated by the Oakland Raiders, despite a three-touchdown performance from Testaverde. 

SUPER BOWL 36

Don’t look now but Belichick just led the Patriots to a Super Bowl championship. Who was that quarterback that led them there? Oh right, Tom Brady! Wait, how did he get there in the first place? For this, we gotta rewind to the second game of the year.

WEEK 2, 2001

In the fourth quarter of what turned out to be a victory for the Jets, the Patriots offense had a chance to score their first touchdown with plenty of time left in the fourth quarter. Scrambling out of the pocket, quarterback Drew Bledsoe took off his to right and tried to get out of bounds for the first down. But before he could reach the sideline, Jets linebacker Mo Lewis came through with a huge hit on the quarterback to level him to the ground, which was so bad that he had to be taken out of the game. That not only thrusted Brady onto the field for the rest of the day, but that hit from Lewis was the beginning of what would be a glorious era in Foxboro. Don’t worry, you won’t miss out on anything, I swear!

2002 NFL DRAFT

Even though mid-round picks are not always the most desirable, the Jets stood firm at twenty-two and selected defensive end Bryan Thomas, who ended up having a decent ten-year career with the organization. Not bad, you say. But hold on, who was taken two picks later? Hall of Fame safety Ed Reed. Oh my gosh, it’s like you never learned! 

2002

After starting the season 2-5 with no chance of a postseason berth, the Jets rallied by winning seven of their final nine games to not only clinch a spot, but win the AFC East! Who knew that putting in Pennington for Testaverde would do the team magical wonders? Suck on that, New England! However, Herm Edwards is the one to thank for lighting that spark, when he gave one of the most iconic rants in the history of sports. “You play to win the game!” After shutting out the Indianapolis Colts in the Wild Card round, the Jets have a revenge matchup against the Raiders the following week. But just like 2001, New York gets predictably massacred. Maybe next year will give us a better story.

SUPER BOWL 37

Warren Sapp got his championship ring with Tampa Bay? Damn you, Kotite!

2003 NFL DRAFT

The Jets managed to trade up with the Chicago Bears for the fourth overall pick and selected defensive tackle Dewayne Robertson, who would only last four seasons with the team. He wasn’t completely horrible, but he could not live up to the expectations of being a top five draft pick. But let me guess, there was someone else available that the Jets could have drafted? Yep! How about Terrell Suggs, one of the scariest pass rushers in the league for over a decade! That works perfectly!

2003

The season is over before it even begins as Chad Pennington suffers a fracture and a dislocation on his non-throwing hand. The team starts off with a pedestrian 1-4 record, yet because the Jets want to delude themselves into thinking they can still make the playoffs, they rush Pennington earlier than expected and he returns after missing six games. How is this an issue? Well due to the injury he suffered, in his words, he lost all the zip he had on the ball and his wrist was never the same again. As a result, the team misses the playoffs at 6-10, despite their defense continuing to serve as the heartbeat and backbone.

SUPER BOWL 38

Did I forget to tell you that Bill Belichick won another Super Bowl with Tom Brady?

2004

Fortunately, the franchise bounces back on their feet with an inverted record of 10-6 and make the playoffs as the fifth seed in the AFC! However, the media is not completely sold that they can go on the run. Like Pennington said, it’s a privilege to cover the Jets, what type of blasphemy is this we’re hearing? The Jets use this as fuel to stun the Chargers in an overtime victory in the Wild Card. Thank you Nate Kaeding for choking at the most opportune time. Now it’s on to the second round, but they will face a bigger foe in the Pittsburgh Steelers, a team that won fourteen straight games to close out the regular season and finished 15-1. Well, let's hope they can play with some fight.

2004 DIVISIONAL ROUND, THIRD QUARTER

Holy crap, you guys are doing it! You’re actually leading the Steelers by seven points to start the fourth quarter, despite trailing 10-0 to begin the game! All you have to do is keep your foot on the gas and you’ll play those wannabes in the Patriots for a chance to reach the Super Bowl! Don’t fail us, men!

2004 DIVISIONAL ROUND, FOURTH QUARTER

Pittsburgh ended up tying the game at seventeen. Okay, that shouldn’t be too surprising. That’s actually good because that meant Pennington got the chance to close the deal and win the game. He managed to drive his team into field goal range with just over two minutes left. Doug Brien, you know what to do, sir. Crap, it hit the upright! Defense, please hold so this game can go to OT!

THE NEXT PLAY

YES! INTERCEPTED! David Barrett, you are a godsend! The offense managed to get back into field goal range, and from a much closer distance. Dougie, you have a chance to redeem yourself, now! Don’t let us down again. You sailed it wide to the left?! What the hell!

2004 DIVISIONAL ROUND, OVERTIME

The Jets won the coin toss to receive the ball first in extra regulation, but a holding penalty causes the drive to stall out and force the offense to punt. By the time their defense comes back onto the field, they are completely worn out as rookie quarterback Ben Roethlisberger makes up for that fo paux interception and carves them up down the length of the field. Jeff Reed puts the icing on the cake with a chip-shot field goal to win the game and the Jets head back to New Jersey with their hands on their heads.

SUPER BOWL 39

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE PATRIOTS WON AGAIN?

2005 NFL DRAFT

This wouldn’t be a Jets article without talking about another questionable draft pick. Look I can understand trading out of the first round and wanting to move on from Doug Brien after failing the team in the playoffs, but did you really think it was wise to take a kicker in the second round? 

2005

It doesn’t matter because just like 2003, the season is prematurely over thanks to an injury to Chad Pennington. Although he and Herm Edwards want to blame the new offensive coordinator for the early struggles, it turned out that the former first round pick suffered a torn rotator cuff on his throwing shoulder and was forced to have surgery. What’s the reward? A four win season and Pennington getting screwed over by management with an alarming pay cut. But at least the Patriots didn’t win the Super Bowl this time.

2006 OFFSEASON

Herm Edwards has done a tremendous job putting this franchise back on the map since the Parcells-Belichick fiasco, and he feels like he deserves a new contract. There is only one caveat here. Woody Johnson doesn’t agree. Shocking, I know. After a battle of tug-and-war for a few weeks, the Jets decide to just cut their losses and allow him to interview for the head coaching job with the Kansas City Chiefs, who eagerly hire him. At least we got a fourth-round pick for the loss and it was used to select Leon Washington. That’s not a terrible consolation at all. Besides, we hired Belichick’s favorite pupil in Eric Mangini to take over, that will easily startle the Patriots. We also promoted Mike Tannebaum to be our new general manager, that will really put the league on notice! As for who we draft in the first round, with our fourth overall pick, we’ll select one of the greatest Jets to ever play the game: D’Brickashaw Ferguson!

2006

Although Pennington’s arm strength was still criticized, he still played well enough to win Comeback Player of the Year as he led the Jets to a 10-6 record and got them back to the playoffs! Does he right the wrongs from 2004? Foolish optimism. They got demolished by twenty-one points in the first round to, what a surprise, the NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS!

2007 OFFSEASON

Curtis Martin retired and Chad Pennington’s shoulder is not getting any better, but there is one draft prospect that could revitalize this team’s fortunes. Darrelle Revis, easily the best cornerback in the whole 2007 class. Hopefully this guy gets you back to the Super Bowl.

2007, WEEK 1

The Jets got blown out by the Patriots to start out the season in their “revenge game”, but that doesn’t mean they can’t create any controversy! “Hey Mr. Goodell? New England used cameras to spy on our sidelines!” That should convince the league we don’t have an inferiority complex!

2007

The team sucks again? That's it! Pennington, take the bench, your time in the Big Apple is over. I don’t care if you had to get back on the field because the backup quarterback got injured. You better start looking for a new job now.

SUPER BOWL 42

Phew, the Patriots didn’t win another Super Bowl. Who ended up beating those jerks anyways? The Giants? We can’t catch a break!

2008 OFFSEASON

Okay, we’re back to an even year, which means we’ll be back in the playoffs. It’s time to go all in. Alan Faneca, you deserve to be the highest paid offensive lineman in football, so just write the number and we’ll cash in the check. Calvin Pace, we need a new standout pass rusher after we traded away John Abraham a couple of years ago, you can get a huge deal as well. But we found the true missing piece for this football team. Chad Pennington, you can end your career in South Beach because the new quarterback for the Jets is… Brett Favre? Let’s just hope this season doesn’t end in humiliating fashion again.

2008 NFL DRAFT

I forgot there was a draft the Jets had to attend. Because of the pathetic season, the franchise had the sixth overall pick and used it to select defensive end Vernon Gholston. On a five year rookie deal with $21 million guaranteed, the man only lasted three seasons with the team and didn’t record a single sack in his career! Ahh, draft blunders involving the Jets never ceases to amaze me.

2008, WEEK 12

Wow, the Jets look like world beaters entering December! They’re 8-3 and just upset the undefeated Tennessee Titans on the road! Maybe this is the year they finally go places! Sure, Favre might be dealing with a nagging shoulder injury and is stubbornly playing through it to keep his starting streak alive, but that shouldn’t come back to haunt them!

2008, WEEK 17

Who is even surprised that New York fell off a map? Four losses in their last five games and Tannebaum is deciding to move in a different direction, but hey at least they’ll be ending on good terms. Wait, what did Favre do to a female employee? Never mind, get the hell out, you freak.

2009 OFFSEASON

After scapegoating Eric Mangini for the team’s stunning collapse in 2008, the Jets hired probably the most vocal head coach the Jets had in over a decade: Rex Ryan. A defensive mastermind with a personality and mouth unlike any other. Man, he makes Mangini look like a patsy. I love it!

2009 NFL DRAFT

As for our new quarterback, it was not hard at all to make this decision. We found a perfect symbol for our football team: Mark Sanchez. It might take a couple of years of extra development since he left college early, but by the time he hits his peak, this team will be an instant championship contender. I can smell the Lombardi Trophy from a distance.

2009

After a 4-6 stumble near the month of December, the Jets managed to flip the switch and win five out of their final eight games to back into the playoffs as the fifth seed in the AFC! Despite Sanchez throwing just twelve touchdowns to twenty interceptions, New York used two old-school principles to storm their way into the distance: run the ball and play exceptional defense. Not only did Thomas Jones run for over 1400 yards with fourteen touchdowns to his name, but the defense gave up the fewest points in the entire league! The biggest reason why: Darrelle Revis. Throughout the season, he rightfully coined the nickname “Revis Island”, because he managed to shut down some of the best receivers in the league. Half of them turned out to be Hall of Famers. Randy Moss, Steve Smith, Chad Ochocinco, Andre Johnson, and Terrell Owens are just a few to mention. As long as Sanchez doesn’t screw it up, this team has what it takes to go on a long run!

2009 PLAYOFFS

After upsetting the Cincinnati Bengals on the road with a ten point victory, the Jets would have to face a bigger challenge in the Chargers once again. Much better than their 2004 inferior version, San Diego entered the playoffs with a 13-3 record as the number two seed, so New York is getting a totally different blueprint than before. But after trailing by four to begin the fourth quarter, the Jets tapped into their inner psyche and rattled fourteen unanswered points to take a ten-point lead, eventually holding on by three to pull off the upset! Shonn Greene was the unsung hero with 123 yards and the defense relied on two interceptions to neutralize one of the highest-scoring offenses in the league. The Jets are back in the AFC Championship for the first time since 1998 and the whole world is on their side to represent the AFC! Now bring that trophy home.

2009 AFC CHAMPIONSHIP, FIRST HALF

What a terrific start from the Jets! They’re up 17-13 against Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts, despite giving up a late first-half touchdown drive, and are about to kick the eventual MVP out of the playoffs! But there are only two more quarters to play, so don’t take the foot off the gas!

2009 AFC CHAMPIONSHIP, SECOND HALF

It appears that New York didn’t receive the message as they got outscored 17-0 in the final thirty minutes of play to lose the game. It sucks, but this was still an admirable season for this franchise! The minute that Sanchez improves, this team will be more feared than ever before.

2010 OFFSEASON

It’s time to go all in this offseason once again! Take a look at the names that are going to boost our Super Bowl odds. Jason Taylor, LaDainian Tomlinson, Antonio Cromartie, Nick Folk, and Santonio Holmes! Their season of Hard Knocks only boosted our excitement for this football team, despite some drama involving Darrelle Revis’ contract. Thank goodness that ended, because now we have a game to play. But first…

2010 NFL DRAFT

You really thought I was going to forget about what the Jets did with their first round pick this year? Hoping to boost their secondary, New York selected cornerback Kyle Wilson from Boise State. A track star that boosted his draft stock over time, he unfortunately couldn’t live up to the hype and mainly found himself a fringe role player in the league. Sure he was behind Revis and Cromartie, but when a defensive back does not have the best hand skills in the NFL, that is a sign that his career is not going to last very long. 

2010

But you know what, nobody cares because I told you the Jets would be better than last year, and that is exactly what happened! Sanchez continued to improve, the defense was even stronger than the year before, and Tomlinson looked like he was back to MVP form. The team surged to an 11-5 record and were once again a Wild Card contender, but if they could make it to a conference championship game as a fifth seed last year, there was no doubt they could do it again.

2010 PLAYOFFS

Not only did the Jets get their revenge against Indianapolis, but they did something nobody thought they could have ever done in the Belichick-Brady era: beat the New England Patriots at home in a postseason game. To put this in perspective, the Pats had a 14-2 record and Tom Brady was named the first unanimous MVP in the National Football League, so the fact that the Jets were able to show up in this one is their most impressive win in franchise history since their lone Super Bowl win. Now that the Jets are back in the conference championship game, they are not afraid of anybody that is in their sight.

2010 AFC CHAMPIONSHIP, FIRST HALF

Remember that Pittsburgh team that broke your hearts in 2004? Well, just six years later, they stomp all over your team in the first half and take a 24-3 lead entering the break. I mean, at least the Jets made it back?

2010 AFC CHAMPIONSHIP, SECOND HALF

Impressive! The Jets scored sixteen unanswered points to make it a one-score game with a few minutes left, but it’s unfortunately too little too late. The defense cannot get a final stop as they burn all three of their timeouts and Pittsburgh picks up the first down that is needed to run out the clock. Although, if the Jets didn’t decide to run it up the gut with LT with seven and a half minutes left in the game, we might have gotten a different outcome. Just a thought.

2011

In what was supposed to be a revenge season for the Jets, the team unfortunately disappoints and instead looks mediocre at best. Despite career-highs from Sanchez in passing yards and touchdowns, New York was more known for off-the-field drama than trying to win football games. Players and coaches are getting thrown under the bus, teammates are arguing with each other in the huddle, the quarterback’s inconsistencies were starting to appear more and more often, yet they’re still 8-5 with a chance to make it back to the playoffs! However, the offensive woes continued as they failed to score twenty points in their final three games to finish the year 8-8.

SUPER BOWL 46

You’re telling me the Giants won another Super Bowl?

2012 OFFSEASON

So, Sanchez might be another headache and the football team is expected to take another step back into the realm of irrelevance! Quick, I know somebody that will put us back in the headlines! Tim Tebow! He might not be able to throw a football if his life depended on it, but he was in the playoffs last year and he is so lovable! Who wouldn’t want that saint on their football team?

2012 NFL DRAFT

As for the draft, the Jets used their first round selection to take another pass rusher: Quinton Coples out of North Carolina. He wasn’t horrible, but he couldn’t live up to his first-round pedigree as he only played four seasons with the football team and totaled 16.5 sacks during that time. Why do I bring this up? Well it’s because the Patriots ended up taking the best defensive end in that whole class with their first selection: Chandler Jones. Keep whiffing Jets, it keeps me from hysterically laughing.

NOVEMBER 22, 2012

So this year didn’t turn out the way we all wanted. Sanchez sucks, Darrelle Revis tore his ACL, and the rest of the team just doesn’t want to be there anymore. But on the bright side, they get to play the Patriots at home on Thanksgiving night! Even if we don’t win, let’s just show the world that we still have some pride left.

SECOND QUARTER

Okay, they’re already down 14-0, but it’s not the worst deficit to try to overcome. As long as the offense finds its rhythm, they’ll get some momentum back. We have nine minutes left in the first half, this game is far from over. That’s what we all thought. When the Jets offense lined up for their first play of the drive, they lined up in an I formation with Shonn Greene as the running back. However, when the ball was snapped, Sanchez tried to hand it off and Greene was in a totally different part of the field. As a result, the quarterback had to take off with the ball and make something happen. Looking for any type of hole, Sanchez does not look at the offensive lineman standing directly in front of him, and not only runs right into his back, but fumbles the ball in the process. A couple of seconds later, Patriots defensive back Steve Gregory scooped up the loose ball and ran it all the way into the endzone for a defensive touchdown! New England proceeded to turn this game into a rout and won 49-19, iconized by the most hilarious play in NFL history: the Butt Fumble! If there’s not another play that epitomizes this franchise, I don’t know what will.

REST OF 2012 SEASON

The Jets finish the year 6-10 thanks to a putrid offense and a hobbled defense, capping it off with Sanchez getting benched for Greg McElroy of all quarterbacks. Going from a hopeful face of the franchise on a deep playoff contender to an outright bust will go down as one of the biggest slides in NFL history. Maybe Rex Ryan’s wife shouldn’t have gotten a tattoo of him, after all.

2013 OFFSEASON

Rex Ryan might still have his job secure for the time being, but Tannebaum is not so lucky. He might have done a stellar job in his first few seasons, yet everything completely fell apart since then. This John Idzik guy can definitely do a lot better. 

2013 NFL DRAFT

In what was one of the weakest and worst draft classes in NFL history, the Jets lived up to the hype by using their first selection on cornerback Dee Milliner, who only played three seasons with the team due to injuries and lackluster performance. The reason why New York went with him was because they traded Darrelle Revis to Tampa Bay, and Milliner never fit the bill. On the positive side, New York got another first round pick from that deal and they used it to draft defensive tackle Sheldon Richardson. As long as he keeps his head in check, he’ll be a solid player. However, the giant elephant in the room is how to address the quarterback position. Sanchez has fallen off a cliff and Tebow was completely useless, so in the second round, the Jets made the call to draft Geno Smith. Hopefully, his career doesn’t get ruined there.

2013

Considering the fact that the Jets had to nearly overhaul their roster, the Jets had a very modest 8-8 season. With Sanchez sidelined for the entire season due to a shoulder injury, Geno Smith was immediately thrown into the fire and showed modest results. He proved he could be a starter, yet he threw just twelve touchdown passes and a whopping twenty-one interceptions. But hey, his supporting cast sucked and he still managed to win eight games. Just give it some time.

2014 OFFSEASON

Sanchez is finally gone but we need to give Geno Smith some competition for the starting quarterback job. Wait, I have an idea! Michael Vick! He’s completely past his prime, but who doesn’t love nostalgia? Sign Chris Johnson too while we’re at it to excite the fanbase even more!

2014 NFL DRAFT

If at first you don’t succeed with one failed defensive back, then let’s reach for another with safety Calvin Pryor! It’s not like you don’t have any wide receiver depth and guys like Mike Evans or Davante Adams are just waiting to get the phone call! And I thought Tannebaum fell off a cliff rapidly.

2014

So you’re telling me that a team who doesn’t improve their roster in the offseason is going to completely fall off the face of the earth and implode for what feels like the billionth time? You don’t say! Well, I think we know how this ending is going to play out. Rex, thank you for everything you’ve done, but you reached your expiration date a long time ago and this was the final straw. Idzik, you can get the hell out too. So long, farewell, au revoir, goodbye.

SUPER BOWL 49

So New England won another Super Bowl, huh? At this point, I don’t feel any pain anymore because I’m so used to this.

2015 OFFSEASON

So the Jets hired another defensive mind to be their head coach? Well, as long as Todd Bowles can lead Geno Smith on the proper path, everything will be… OH COME ON!

AUGUST 11, 2015

You gotta be kidding. His own teammate broke his jaw over a freaking plane ticket? So who the heck is going to be our quarterback? Hmmm, Ryan Fitzpatrick. I mean he’s okay but knowing the Jets, just expect another disastrous season.

2015

The Jets are actually good again? This is a complete surprise. Fitzpatrick ends up having the best season of his life with over thirty touchdown passes, Brandon Marshall and Eric Decker become one of the best receiving duos in the league, and the defense returns to form! Shoot, they even brought back Revis and Cromartie to be a part of all the fun! Entering the final week of the season, the team is 10-5 and only needs one more win against a mediocre Bills squad to clinch a playoff spot! 

2015, WEEK 17

Right on cue, the Jets completely implode in the fourth quarter thanks to three consecutive interceptions from Ryan Fitzpatrick and only lose the game by five points. By the way, who was the head coach for the Bills that day? Oh it’s not a big deal, it was Rex Ryan! Now the football gods are just being extremely cruel.

2016

Who needs to make drastic changes with the roster when the team won ten games and were only one win away from making it to the playoffs? Eh, maybe take quarterback Christian Hackenburg in the second round, he’ll get some playing time here and there. You know what, let’s make Fitzpatrick the full-time starter and put Geno on the bench, he won’t fall off a cliff this time around. Spoiler alert, he did. Not only does Fitzpatrick get benched for poor performance, but Smith tears his ACL, and the team is absolutely cooked. Enjoy another 5-11 season Fireman Ed.

SUPER BOWL 51

And another Patriots Super Bowl victory!

2017 OFFSEASON

Go figure, the Jets don’t have a quarterback… again. Both Fitzpatrick and Smith sign with other teams for backup positions, but instead of going after a big name in free agency or the draft, they sign perennial underachiever Josh McCown? Well, let’s hope this Patrick Mahomes guy doesn’t have a solid career. At least, New York didn’t mess up their draft this time and selected a Pro Bowl safety in Jamal Adams. How many first round picks are they going to use on defensive players anyways?

2017

Who’s even shocked that the Jets sucked this year? The defense is okay, yet the offense has no talent or quality leadership, yet the front office thinks this is fine? I mean at least you weren't as terrible as the Giants.

2018 NFL DRAFT

Oh so now the Jets decide to not only fix their quarterback position, but trade up for one of the most talented prospects in Sam Darnold! Normally I would be excited, but knowing how Geno Smith’s career panned out, I’m skeptical to see if this guy is truly the answer.

2018

Yeah, the roster is still a giant mess and Todd Bowles has not evolved since that one-year wonder in 2015. You know what, Todd? You’re better as a coordinator so for your own good, you’re fired. We better not whiff on this next hire.

2019 OFFSEASON

Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to hire Adam Gase as their next head coach? Did they not see how his tenure in Miami panned out? Did they not look at him at his introductory press conference? How about the fact that every team and quarterback he’s coached suddenly gets better once he leaves? Sam Darnold, I am praying for you, my friend. As for what they did in free agency, they signed more names than instant game-changers. Running back Le’Veon Bell held out of football last year due to contract holdouts, but that won’t stop them from giving him a huge deal with $35 million guaranteed! Brian Poole did things in Atlanta, so let’s give him a chance to be a number one cornerback! How about CJ Mosley, that man was amazing in Baltimore. In the draft, they selected a future All-Pro defensive tackle in Quinnen Williams, but we can’t have a Jets offseason without any drama. Mike Maccagnan did his best to try to improve the roster this year, but suddenly Gase wants more power and control. So let’s just fire him after the draft, that makes a ton of sense! I feel sorry for Joe Douglas.

2019

I knew this season was going to be disappointing, but I didn’t think it would start out as a total nightmare. In their first game, they blew a 16-0 lead to Buffalo at home and saw Mosley go down with a long-term groin injury. Before Week 2, Darnold was contracted with mono and missed the next four weeks. In his second game back, he threw four interceptions on Monday Night Football against the Patriots and admitted to a national audience that he could see ghosts! Although the team closed out the season on a positive stretch, they still missed the playoffs. Oh my, who could have seen this coming?

2020 OFFSEASON

Why the hell is Adam Gase still here? You know it’s going to be a matter of time before this team completely quits on him. They hardly did anything in free agency besides sign two fossils in Joe Flacco and Frank Gore, but in the NFL Draft, they used their first-round pick to select offensive lineman Mekhi Becton. Looking back in hindsight, this organization failed him more than anything else, and it would have been the exact same case if they chose the best offensive tackle in the entire class: Tristan Wirfs. Also, Justin Jefferson was still available for a team that once again had little to no depth in the wide receiver room. Just a thought.

2020

This team is absolutely terrible. I don’t even think that word does itself justice. They were so horrible that they didn’t win a game until December! Yet somehow Gase was allowed to keep his job until their season finally ended with a 2-14 record. We all knew they were going to be a bad team, but this is reaching Rich Kotite levels of failure! Wow, this man really does live in Jets fans heads rent-free.

2021 OFFSEASON

Okay, so we now know that hiring offensive minded coaches might not always solve the biggest problems. This means we’re back to the old-school method of hiring defensive-oriented men. Robert Saleh is the best one on the market so there’s no question we should offer his services. But once again, we have to figure out what we’re doing at quarterback. Sam Darnold was thrown into a raging fire and while he couldn’t do much to make it go away, he was completely set up for failure in his three years with the team. Maybe if we trade him to Carolina, he’ll get a new change of scenery. We were horrible enough to get the second overall pick, so we can finally land the man of our dreams: Zach Wilson. You might see a guy that thrived against watered down competition in a completely weak conference, but have you seen his Pro Day tape? Everybody is going to melt for this man.

2021

Okay so the Jets had another terrible season, but there’s no reason to panic. Wilson was an instant day one starter, our defense is incredibly young, and the offense just needed time to gel. Just wait until next year.

2022 OFFSEASON

Instead of splurging for names in free agency, we decided to strengthen our roster through the draft! We didn’t just have one first round pick, but three on players that can make an immediate impact! We got the best rookie cornerback in Sauce Gardner, one of the most talented wide receivers in Garrett Wilson, and a bonafide stud in Jermaine Johnson! You pair Sauce with a secondary featuring Michael Carter II and DJ Reed, along with Jermaine on a defensive line spearheaded by Quinnen Williams, that is a unit that will take a huge leap! Offensively, Zach Wilson has ten times more help than he ever did his rookie season, so now it’s time to turn that next page. 

2022, WEEK 10

You see what I mean? 6-3 record before the bye week and everything is starting to click at the right time! Zach Wilson might not be producing the most inspiring numbers, but he’s not screwing it up. Breece Hall emerges as one of the best running backs in the league, but that defense is the main heartbeat of that football team. Once this team comes back from its week off, they are going to have even more energy and we’ll be back in the playoffs! I’m so proud.

2022, WEEK 18

You guys are truly pathetic, you know that? Seven losses in the final eight games, and not only did the offense completely fall apart, but their quarterback got benched due to poor performance. But take it from him, he doesn’t feel like he deserves any blame or responsibility for the team completely underachieving. This is really happening again, isn’t it?

2022 PLAYOFFS

So Geno Smith completely revitalized his career with the Seahawks and led them to the playoffs? It must be nice to be on a real team that actually puts you in a position to be successful.

2023 OFFSEASON

It happened, Jets fans! You finally have a quarterback this time. Aaron Rodgers. There’s nothing that needs to be said that hasn’t been said before. Four time MVP, Super Bowl champion, a future Hall of Famer, the most talented quarterback to lace a football. It might have cost a few draft picks, including a future first and second, but Rodgers immediately makes us a Super Bowl contender. I mean look at the talent on the roster and all the fun they had on Hard Knocks! Who wouldn’t love for this team to be back in the playoffs? I’ve never been more excited for a football season than I am now!

2023 WEEK 1

Literally four snaps into the season, disaster strikes for the football team. On a sack taken by Leonard Floyd, Aaron Rodgers suffered a torn Achilles, knocking him out for the rest of the season. Every time, man! I’m starting to think that Joe Namath sold his soul to the devil for that championship. Now we have to watch Zach Wilson again? Yeah, season’s over.

2023 WEEK 8

So the Jets are 4-3? Eh, I’m not convinced. Just watch, Zach Wilson is going to suck enough and be the reason why they won’t make it to the playoffs. It’s only a matter of when it starts.

2023 WEEK 18

You see what I mean? Another 7-10 season and he was sidelined once again. Not for any good backups, mind you, but for Tim Boyle and Trevor Siemian! Those are exponential levels of failure, thus confirming the fact that they were an Aaron Rodgers away from turning things around.

2024 OFFSEASON

Okay, there are no more excuses for underachieving this time around. One more slip-up, and not only is Rodgers going to walk away from this team, but Saleh and Douglas are going to get shoved out the door first. Stranger things have happened and this is a future Hall of Fame quarterback we are talking about, so this cannot be another disastrous season for the worst, right?

2024

Oh god, my eyes! I cannot witness the horror that the Jets are performing for us anymore! The longer the season played out, the worse it got. Jermaine Johnson tore his ACL in the second game of the year, Saleh got scapegoated and fired after five games, Joe Douglas got the pink slip before the month of December, offensive coordinator Nathaniel Hackett was demoted in between, and acquiring Davante Adams in a trade did not save this football team from a 5-12 season. Rodgers was a complete shell of himself from start to finish, and after the team hired Aaron Glenn to be the next head coach and Darren Mougey the new general manager, they told him to get out. To say that this season was a Butt Fumble would be an insult to the Butt Fumble.