Deuteronomy 16:11,14 do not mention wives, because it is assumed that the wives would come to the feasts with their husbands.
Genesis 2:24 says: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”
So the husband and wife are considered one, not two. Jesus reiterated this when He said: “But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh.” (Mark 10:6-8)
So from God’s perspective, it was not necessary to give instructions to the husband and wife separately, because they are one. Where one is, there the other is also. It was assumed the wife would come with the husband, because they are one. But it was necessary to remind the husband and wife to bring their children and servants along, both male and female.
The children and servants were under the authority of the husband and wife. Therefore, they were instructed to bring them instead of leaving them at home.
This shows how God considers everyone important, as the Bible says: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28)
The concept of oneness expands to unity with each other and unity with God in the New Testament.
Jesus prayed to God the Father, “The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one; I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me.” (John 17:22-23)
Jesus was praying for unity of spirit among the brothers and sisters in Christ. Jesus also said that we would be one with God in spiritual unity.
Because Jesus is head of the church and the church is His bride, Jesus told us: “In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.” (John 14:2-4)
So where Jesus is, there we will be also, just as where the husband is, there the wife will be also. Instructions were given to the husband, and it was assumed the wife would do likewise, because they are one flesh.
The plans of God are great. Here are some more verses on this subject we can meditate on:
“…The one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him.” (1 Corinthians 6:17)
“He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:28-33)