When a Baby Is Born so is a Mother so why is the baby the only one being celebrated here?

Our Americanized view puts so much emphasis on babies in the journey of pregnancy and beyond. It is a bit crazy when you think of it. Even in pregnancy, a mom can feel like just a vessel, carrying this precious gift and not like the gift she is to her baby, her body working tirelessly to create and grow. Don’t get me wrong, a baby is the “goal” and oh so precious and special but I believe we are missing the whole picture and for moms to feel supported, cared for, seen, whole, we need to open our eyes to what is really going on in the journey. The goal should be a mother and baby, bonded, supported, loved as one.

I want to challenge you to go as far as to believe/know that when a baby is conceived a mother is born. For it is at that moment everything changes. We are something new, someone that we can’t comprehend, naturally our focus shifts and our thoughts go to our child and that is okay. I just wish this wasn’t the case for everyone else too. 

Hear me out. In the doctor's office, “Let’s see how the baby is doing”. At the grocery store, “when is the baby due? Can’t wait!”. At home, “let’s buy this and that for the baby”. At church “I can’t wait to hold that baby”. At the family gathering, “eat healthy for that baby”. These are just a few typical scenarios but you see how the emphasis is always towards the baby. What about mom? Her new journey has already begun. Her identity has been striped and something new has taken its place. It is at this time that it is so critical to give her her best start. She needs nurturing and holding, caring and nourishment of body and soul just like a newborn does. Think about that for a moment. Take it in. What could this look like? How would it change things?

If we can shift our focus to mom and make sure she is cared for, guess what then happens? That precious baby is supported too. It’s that simple. Mom, the one who is actually best suited for the task, is then able to care for that precious cargo, that newborn baby.  Whether a first time mom or one navigating multiple children, each pregnancy she changes, is a new creation, in a new role care for mom is needed. Let’s  challenge ourselves and others to switch those conversations up a bit. Let’s consider the mom first. Knowing, we are doing the most good for both. No matter who she is, navigating this journey is hard. Let’s ask her instead things like, “How are you feeling”, “Is there anything I can help you do to prepare”, “Is there something you might need for yourself right now or after the birth”, “Do you have support set up? Could I help”, “Take your time to rest and nourish yourself. You deserve it”, “When that baby arrives, I hope you have plenty of downtime to bond and just hold her. I’d be happy to help with food or chores so that you can relax more.”

Oh what a beautiful experience it could be. One where the births of moms are celebrated. Where the focus is on them so that they can be free to focus on their baby and transitioning as they grow as new creations together.