One thing you know for certain when you go into labor and birth is approaching, is that soon you will meet your newest love. You know that this love will be the biggest and greatest thing you’ve ever experienced. It will be an all consuming, unconditional, life long love that now is yours to treasure forever. This is one of the most exciting parts of becoming a Mama!
I believe there is another opportunity of a great love that birth presents us with. Pregnancy, labor and birth are powerful things; it has the potential to bring people closer and grow a bond that will forever hold its place. The love between mom and baby have been growing for months, but the bond between Mom and Dad can also grow and become in sync. Now, Dads, I understand birth is an intimidating topic. Especially if you've never learned anything about it other than what we see on movies or TV shows. One scene moms water breaks in the car or in the middle of the store, cut to the next scene is mom screaming in pain and dad is looking petrified because he has no idea how to help the one he loves. This does not have to be reality.
Here is the solution and why it is so important. Look at you and your partner as teammates, and just like any team the only way to win the game is by working together. This will take effort and decisions made by both partners to work together and create the game plan to have a successful, powerful, loving birth that will grow your love and bond to the strongest of its potential. Go to appointments together, go to birth classes together, share with one another the size of fruit your baby is that week. Most importantly, have a conversation about what you might expect of one another when it comes time for labor and birth. This will be an ongoing conversation, you may not have all the answers at 20 weeks, 30 weeks or even 40 weeks of what you need during your labor. Practice breathing techniques together, pain relief techniques together so that your “toolbox” is packed full for when labor is here. If you're not sure where to start, that's okay, it's normal even. If you want to be guided in the right direction, talk about hiring a birth doula. Doulas never want to take the place of the partner but instead bring Mom and Dad closer by educating together, answering all questions from each of you, all while having the same goal in mind as you.
Having a birth where you become closer to your partner is really the first step of the rest of your lives together as parents. Having a positive experience with your partner is starting the journey on the right path. Understanding one another, helping one another, and making sure each of you is heard and feeling valued in the birth of your child is important. Although it is sometimes overlooked in all the craziness of everyday life, and preparing for a new baby, your experience can be different. Take the opportunity that birth gives you - let birth be a partnership to grow your love on a deeper level than ever imagined.
Birth Doula
Feb 2023