It was discussed in one of our Mom Matters meetings a few years back that some of us have experienced planned pregnancies and some of us have experienced unplanned pregnancies, both of which can bring up very different feelings of Love toward ourselves as well as our baby. Some may struggle with all the "Congrats" and some of us welcome it. The way you feel about this is entirely normal and I'd like to emphasize this.
A lot of life can happen in 40 weeks. A LOT.
Through all the ups and downs one constant remains, You are pregnant and your thoughts and feelings that you are going through are also felt by the baby you are carrying inside you. This is why it is important you take some time out to connect with yourself and your baby.
If there's anything I learned in all my years of mentoring teen moms and the personal growth work I've done it's that Love is the thing that makes the world go round. So regardless of what goes on in those 40 weeks that you are pregnant whether it's losing a spouse, a job, a child or gaining employment, gaining a house, etc it's very important to take time to just show some LOVE for just yourself and your baby.
How do you take this time?
From my own experience, I was very aware that the feelings I was feeling at that time, I was also feeding to my baby so I purposely took the time out to go inward and talk to myself and my baby. One of my younger adopted brothers has a lot of emotional issues that some referred to the way his bio mom thought about herself and him during her pregnancy with him. So, I made it a goal to make my thoughts center around how loved this baby was, how much I loved my body for nourishing my baby, how much I loved myself for taking a moment to lay down and relax and feel my baby kick, hiccup or punch me and to tell my baby that they were welcomed into the world. I especially focused on this on the days that I was feeding myself all the negatives and I didn't show love to myself. My goal was to feed so much positivity that it would give my child a head start in the world.
Going inward may not be your thing so I asked some previously pregnant mamas how they showed love to themselves with the purpose of sharing their answers with you. Below are their answers:
-Taking maternity photos and reading out loud any books I was reading at the time for my first pregnancy. I was very disconnected with my second pregnancy, so nothing.
-Taking a bath while listening to my labor and delivery playlist
-Going to the Chiropractor and Getting a prenatal massage When I would get it done it was always exciting because it felt so nice for me, but I would just think about how these things would make delivery of my sweet baby smoother! I had both babies adjusted after their births too so it was cool to have the person who worked on me pregnant with them work on them too.
-Taking advantage of down time: I spent a lot of time commuting so I would sing along and enjoy the drive with some music. Toward the end of pregnancy, I was pretty sure my baby had favorite songs. It was in those sweet little moments together that everything slowed down.
-I talked to the baby when I got quiet time and told him all about our family and his brothers, how excited they were and how much I loved him. I knew my guardian angels were watching over us everyday getting us through. I sat in the nursery talking to him.
Out of these answers, one that gave me an Aha moment, was the maternity photos. In my opinion these can be very healing for some of us, some of us are not the snapshot picturesque family but these pictures can help preserve a very pivotal shift in time in your life. I purposely made taking these photos a high priority on my list for myself and my daughter so we could remember and cherish the pregnancy of her brother. I also wanted her brother to be able to look back at these pictures and know he was loved. This had huge meaning for me. So I close and leave you with my pictures. In my own opinion, take the pic, you will want to document this part of your life.
Are you interested in a local photographer who can help you fall in love with your powerful pregnant self?
Check out Bianca Hubble and BONUS, she offers an exclusive deal to all of our clients! Be sure to ask about it when you book any support offer with us.
Birth Doula
Feb 2023