Magic 20-Ball

Have you tried turning it off and back on again?

When in doubt fireball ! // maybe, but you'll need a fireball

The butler did it. Duh.

Look for the Bugbear to find the answer.

Your dilemma would be solved by not fighting a DRAGON.

That sounds like a question for a crystal ball.

Do I look like a wizard to you?

I'll see what I can do.

As likely as I'm a dinosaur.

If it doesn't work then you really f@cked up.

The Magic Fluid Needs Replacement.

I am an 8ball not a globe or map, I don't know where you are"

You know I’m not actually magic right? I’m just a piece of plastic floating in alcohol, with prewritten responses embossed on the sides.

14 Whether I tell you yes or no, all I truly reveal is which one you were hoping for.

Long rest, and try again. // “I’m not answering any more of your questions until you get some sleep!” the 8-ball will continue to show the same response for any additional uses until the user takes a long rest

“Goodbye.” The 8-Ball Shatters, dealing 1d6 Bludgeoning, Piercing, AND Slashing damage to all creatures within a 5 feet radius of it (01 on the d100)

[The correct answer to their question, as far as you, the DM, understand it; but exactly how they asked it, they don’t get to rephrase] (00 on the d100)

The Glass is Half Full.

The Glass is Half Empty.

“Everyone can use a friend.” The Ball duplicates itself, when one is used, both show the same answer

Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.

Property of Wizzo the Wizard.

Your Funeral.

Whoa! Why do I have to answer this?

I have failed you, Anakin! I have failed you.

Your Mom.

I know my job, Jeff!

Search your Feelings. You know it to be true.

Dragon behind you // Turn around. // The answer you seek is behind you.

Just don't bother.

In the loosest sense, yes.

In the loosest sense, no.

Theoretically, it could work. I would not recommend it, though.

Please pass me to someone saner.

Could you please think before you ask me something?

Duck! // Dodge left!

Don't ask me!

The stars shall give you the answer.

I'm not nearly omnipotent enough for this.

Sure, if you want a tragedy on your hands.

No, but the failure will be entertaining for centuries to come!

Survey says: Bzzzt!

Diviners are currently busy. Please try again later.

Oh, a good omen!

When the Nine Hells freeze over.

Yes, now leave me alone.

Yes! I mean no! Wait...

Your intellect score must be in the negatives, because the answer is NO!

Even the barbarian could answer that for you, come on

Sure, I mean, its your funeral

It won't work, but it will be very funny

Technically yes, but you'll hate it

I might be magic but how would I ever know that?

Ask later, I'm writing a novel and I feel very inspired right now.

Not really, but please don't touch me again with bloodstained hands, its gross.

May I first ask what in the nine hells are you carrying in your backpack? Because it smells worse than a dead orc.

You don't want to know, trust me.

Well, none of you can disarm traps to save their lives, so I don't like your chances.

Even the worm turns

An ominous wind blows

Try a direct approach

There is no answer

Is no fun, is no blinsky

Plan for success.

Prepare for failure.

You'll know when you know.

Alone you will fail.

Best have a backup plan.

Can you leave me here when you head out.

Circumstances make your question irrelevant.

Soon

The future is bloody.

The future is unclear.

You will fail.

You will succeed.

The answer you seek lies inside a dragon's mouth.

Only with a god's intervention.

No, but I know you're going to try anyway, you fool.

Help will come from an unexpected source... like, REALLY unexpected.

Don't trust the human.

Despite your fumbling efforts, you will meet with success!

Before I answer, could you scratch my back for me? Just - exactly opposite from this little window, a little to the right - no, my right - up a bit... almost... Yes, that's it! Thanks, friend. Anyway, no, you're all going to die.

Yes, but pack an extra healing potion just in case. Trust me on this one.

Your question will be answered... eventually.

Sorry. No one is here right now to take your call. Leave a message after the tone <<BEEP>>

Nice try, you already know the answer.

No way, buddy!

Hey, leave me out of this!

Yes, immediately

Highly unlikely.

Let's just say anything is possible through the liberal application of fire.

What? Sorry, I wasn't listening.

Ask me again, and this time try not to sound like such a moron.

I think there are tables for this sort of question.

No, and if I were you I'd be more discrete asking such questions.

SEEK NOT THE ANSWER, YOU KNOW NOT THE COST

42

Heaven brings forth innumerable things to nurture man.

Man has nothing good with which to recompense Heaven.

Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill.

The tiger. He destroyed his cage. Yes, YES, the tiger is out

Do you really wish to know?

Perhaps, with great power of will.

The answer you seek involves multitudes of spiders.

Seriously?! this is the question you decided to ask?!

I'm not even going to answer this one.

Sure, but with caution.

...What kind of question is that? Absolutely not!

Sure, it'll be fun.

Honestly even with all my magic, i don't think i can answer such a question.

Maybe, maybe not.

Get yourself together and ask again.

I will let this one speak for itself.

This was not in the job description!

I don't know! You should ask yourself!

What am I, a divination spell?

Leylines shifting, ask again later.

Future looks grim. Expect trouble // fairytale creatures.

Hey, are you sure I’m not a Mimic?

try asking it to a corpse

no, not even through wish/miracle

you'll never know until you try and attack it

no, she's way out of your charisma attribute