OPENING DAY
Will Thrills the 'Stick
Portland, Golden Gate Win Debuts
Dramatic comebacks by Manhattan, Boston, and Denver, and a Will Clark grand slam in the first Golden Gate Breakers debut at Candlestick Park were the main highlights in an action-packed 49th UL opening day. Manhattan trailed by six to the expansion Puerto Rico Cocodrilos before pulling out an 11-10 win. Brooklyn led late but Boston rallied at Fenway. And Denver came back from 0-4 down to down the Pedro Martinez-led Atlanta Hilltoppers.

But the day's headliners were John Smoltz and Will Clark, who led Portland and Golden Gate, respectively, to wins in the inaugural game. Smoltz, who followed GM Andy Chaney to the Pacific Northwest, fanned six and held Montreal to one earned run. Clark ignited the 'Stick with a seventh inning grand slam in a 10-5 rout of the Chicago Colts.

MAN 11, PUE 10 - The Gray Sox scored seven late runs to turn back a 4-10 deficit in front of a raucous crowd at Hudson Yards. At least half of the 50,000 in attendance were supporting the expansion Puerto Rico Cocodrilos.

FLO 3, KEY 2 - In a pitchers duel at New Shibe Park, Francisco Cordova outpitched Butch Henry. Greg Norton and Bobby Estalella homered for the visiting Pink Birds and leadoff man Rich Becker went 3-for-4 for the Starlings.

BOS 8, BRO 7 - Brooklyn led 6-3 before Hector Fajardo coughed up a five-spot in the eighth to hand the home team a one-run win at Fenway Park. Julian Tavarez was touched for five runs early and left after four, and shortstop Bret Barberie led the Feds' attack with a perfect 3-for-3 day at the plate, including a double. Kal Daniels and Dave Nilsson homered for the Bas in a losing effort.

DET 7, MPS 3 - Mark Newfield and Todd Helton homered, and Omar Vizquel was 3-for-4 as the Griffins spoiled opening day in Fridley. Jason Thompson was solid, ceding just two runs in six innings, while the Foxes' Chris Bosio struggled out of the pen, allowing four runs in under two innings.

TOR 4, SEA 1 - Current Polar Bears ace Chad Ogea beat former Polar Bears ace Dwight Gooden, allowing just one run and fanning seven in 6.2 innings. Juan Gonzalez homered and Sammy Sosa was 3-for-4 in his Toronto debut.

DEN 5, ATL 4, 11 inn - Denver turned back a 0-4 home deficit with a four-run seventh that featured a solo homer by Travis Fryman and a three-run homer by Jay Bell. Backup catcher Lenny Webster won the game four innings later with a walk-off single to plate Geronimo Berroa with the winning run. Starters Pedro Martinez and Greg Mathews both allowed four runs in seven innings.

POR 4, MON 3 - John Smoltz tossed five solid innings, allowing just one earned run and striking out six, as the Ospreys won their first ever game in front of a packed house at historic Civic Stadium.

SD 8, STL 1 - In their first game at the Murphy, the Aviators rolled. Sean Bergman anchored a 4-hit gem and new acquisition Ryan Klesko homered and drove in a pair in an 8-1 romp.

GG 10, CHI 5 - A packed out at a chilly Candlestick Park witnessed the Breakers first game, a home win. A Will Clark grand slam in the seventh provided a storybook highlight. Jamey Wright got the win and John Olerud was 4-for-5 for the losing Colts.

CLE 3, LA 2 - Ismael Valdez was solid, striking out seven and allowing just two runs in a narrow win. Rolando Arrojo was solid at Arroyo Seco, allowing just one run in 6.1 innings before the leaky bullpen let the game slip away. Rookie CF Chris Singleton homered in his first UL at-bat and Mark Grace homered in his Outlaws debut in the losing effort.

Settled In But Not Settling
Aviators’ Announcement Ends In Chaos
By Lance Mueller
No sooner had the caravan of semi trucks pulled out of the loading dock after delivering what remained of the Aviators’ (nee Leones) belongings to Jack Murphy Stadium did GM and California native Lance Mueller call a surprise press conference. Deeply tanned and striding with an unusual amount of purpose, Mueller approached the podium flanked by current San Diego mayor Susan Golding and former California governor (and former San Diego Mayor) Pete Wilson. The trio were all smiles, but that could not distract the assembled crowd from noticing the large cardboard box adorned with a large yellow bow that occupied a corner of the stage.

Gesturing to the box Mueller said, “We’ll get to that in moment but first let me thank you all for joining us here today. I’d also like to express my immense gratitude to the people of San Diego and the surrounding area for welcoming us with open arms.” This prompted a boisterous round of applause and several ‘woot woots!’ from an unseen participant in the rear of the conference room. “The reason we’ve asked everyone here today is in many ways linked to the incredible kindness and kinship we’ve been shown since arriving. This organization could think of no better way to show our endless appreciation for all that the people of San Diego have done for us than by putting down permanent roots. To that end we are elated to announce the construction of a baseball only stadium that will become the home of the newly christened Aviators!” With that the crowd burst into another raucous round of applause punctuated by more ‘woot roots’ and a few “LFGs!” to boot.

When the din subsided Mueller spoke again. “I would like to thank Governor Wilson and Mayor Golding for their efforts in securing us the rights to several empty warehouses and abandoned lots in the downtown waterfront area adjacent to the historic Gaslamp District that we plan on converting into a state of the art stadium we hope will be a destination location for locals and visitors alike. To honor both the rich baseball history AND philanthropic achievements of the area we will be calling the baseball facility Ted Williams Field at Salk Stadium.” More applause, more woots, a smattering of LFGs!, and a couple ‘who the f*ck is Sal K???’ later Mueller continued. Pointing to the box the GM said, “Here is just a small preview of what can be expected once the stadium is complete!” With that proclamation the box was yanked to the rafters to revel what could only be described as two dismembered legs surrounded by a pile of rubble. “What the hell happened to Ted’s statue?!” Mueller shouted as a hush fell over the room, except for a squeaky voice from the back that could be heard saying, “No, dude, seriously, let’s fucking go!” just as the lights went out and some doors quickly opened and slammed shut. “Woot woot, motherfuckers!” echoed from an adjoining hallway as Mueller bellowed, “Listen all of y’all! It’s a sabotage!” and ended the presser with a blood curdling scream.

Was it indeed sabotage? If so, why? And who? We know the where and when, approximately, so, you know, those boxes are ticked but still, huh??? It might take the investigative skills of one of the UL’s growing list of beat reporters to get to the bottom of this mess. Or who knows, maybe not. In the maelstrom of modern day media this shocking story could be yesterday’s news faster than one can say, “I can’t stand it, I know you planned it. I’ma set it straight, this Statuegate,” which, when you think about it, probably isn’t very fast at all.