Middle Age Glory (Old Fat Broke 'n Horny) © SOCAN 2007

Middle Age Glory

(Old Fat Broke 'n Horny)

Words and music by Brent Lindsay Boehler © 2007 SOCAN

Middle Age -- what a deal! I wrote a funny song about being middle aged!

Funny!! I wasn’t even 50 years old and thought I was an old man! Ha!

My girlfriend left me standing here
Ain’t got no money can’t buy no beer
The finance company recalled my loan
They said they were gonna take my home

Nobody emails, they don’t phone
I’m sitting here growing old all alone
I get no visits no company
My best friend is my old TV

Now I’m old, fat, broke and horny
Welcome to middle age, that’s my story
Old, fat, broke and horny
I’m living it now, middle age glory

Can’t eat this, can’t eat that
Eat nothing but veggies or you gonna be fat
Hair grows from my ears and nose
But the top of my head is a bald plateau

Doctor tells me to take my pills
I pay for his pills I cant pay my bills
Mastercard put out an APB
They want their payment but they cant find

Now I’m old, fat, broke and horny
Welcome to middle age, that’s my story
Old, fat, broke and horny
I’m living it now, middle age glory

Can’t go party, cant stay awake
Usually a sleeping bout half past eight
The only exercise where I get quicker
Is my right thumb on the TV clicker

Thinking about retirement
But I don’t got not one red cent
Ten more middle age years for me
To collect my old age security

Now I’m old, fat, broke and horny
Welcome to middle age, that’s my story
Old, fat, broke and horny
I’m living it now, middle age glory
I’m living it now, middle age glory