Q. My child loves Waldorf, but I have gotten uneasy about all the mysticism in Waldorf thinking. How can we leave without creating trauma in our family?

A. There is probably no single answer — each family's situation will be different. Children often do love Waldorf schools. The schools are frequently beautiful, there is plenty of play time, academic pressures are minimal, the teachers can be loving and kind, the kids stay with the same group year after year so close bonds are formed, and so forth. Parents, too, can become deeply embedded in Waldorf communities, making sacrifices to send children to the schools, doing volunteer work in the classroom and on the school grounds, establishing social ties centered on the schools, and so forth. Leaving can indeed be traumatic.

But if you become convinced that the schools have a spiritual agenda that you cannot endorse, or if you conclude that the education your child is receiving is substandard, then leaving may be necessary.

In general, the best approach may be to speak openly with all members of your family, your friends at the school, and the school faculty.* It may be impossible to reach full agreement; differences may be aired but not resolved. Waldorf faculty, for instance, will almost surely disagree with any criticisms you make of the Waldorf agenda. Indeed, by voicing doubts and criticisms, you may inspire the faculty to eject you and your family. Still, because so much is at stake, and because the process of disentangling from the school can be so complicated, a long, thorough, open conversation may be necessary to make all the issues plain, and to help your family members and your friends to understand your thoughts and feelings.

You may find useful guidance in reports written by members of other families who left Waldorf, such as "Coming Undone", "Our Experience", and "Our Brush with Rudolf Steiner". You may also benefit from joining discussions such as "Leaving Waldorf - Parent Support", "Waldorf Critics Discussion Group", "mumsnet", etc.

If you, as a loving parent, make a rational, informed, and far-seeing decision for your child, there is every chance that things will work out well.

* Former Waldorf teacher Grégoire Perra offers somewhat different advice, suggesting that you not entangle yourself in fruitless debates with Waldorf faculty. For Perra's recommendations, see the section "Their Cruel Claws" in "My Life Among the Anthroposophists, Part IV".