Woodchuck

One night in January, 2005 I went to sleep thinking about the age-old question regarding the woodchuck, and thinking "I wonder what rhymes with Woodchuck?" (No, you can't use that one.) In the morning I found I had a children's song. Well, almost.

Woodchuck.mp3

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Lyrics

I’d rather be a woodchuck than a duck.

Yes, I’d rather be a woodchuck than a duck.

‘Cause if I was a woodchuck I wouldn’t be a duck.

And if I was a woodchuck I wouldn’t drive a truck.

If I was a woodchuck I wouldn’t drive a truck.

I wouldn’t drive a tuck, I would drive a cadiluck … a woody.

If I was a woodchuck I might get stuck in the muck.

If I was a woodchuck I might get stuck in the muck

If I tried to drive a truck, and it weren’t a cadiluck.

A woodchuck would not chuck no wood

Even if a woodchuck could

‘Cause chuckin’ wood ain’t no good

For a woodchuck’s back. Ack!

If I was a woodchuck I might run out of luck,

Get stuck in the muck, set up like a hockey puck,

Get struck by a truck and then plucked from the guck by a duck. Yuck!

A woodchuck would not chuck no wood

Even if a woodchuck could

‘Cause chuckin’ wood ain’t no good

For a woodchuck’s back.

I’d rather be a woodchuck than a duck (who would pluck a puck from the guck)

I’d rather be a woodchuck than a duck

‘Cause if I was a duck that would suck.

(or, ‘Cause if I was a duck I wouldn't be a woodchuck.)