An apprentice/Laurel relationship is often as unique as the pair of humans involved. However, there are some general categories that can be mixed and matched to satisfy the skills and needs of the two people.
Teaching and learning. There are two BIG aspects to this part of the relationship: the specific and the general. There are more complexities here, but we’ll start with the simple and work our way up.
The specific is when a person apprentices themselves to a specific Laurel in order to learn a defined medieval skill (such as sewing 16th century clothing, or woodworking, or glassblowing, etc). The requirements here, obviously, are that the apprentice WANTS to learn this thing, and the Laurel has the skill and wants to teach it. This is often the “image” that people have of apprenticing: “I want to learn X, so and so is an expert in X, I will therefore apprentice to them and learn X!”.
It is totally valid to begin here, but this does not encompass what it is to be an apprentice or a Laurel. If you only want to know skill X, then you can take a class. You can read a book. Simple skill is just that, simple. Being an apprentice, and being a Laurel, has tons of other aspects, and it is valuable to consider those as, or more, important than an individual skill. If you are on the apprentice end of this question, think carefully about this: do I want to bind myself to this Laurel, long term, in order to learn ONLY X skill?
Other things to consider (from the apprentice side of things), if skill is the thing you still want most: do we get along? What are the expectations of this Laurel? Am I going to become their…servent? Will I put up their tent, carry their things? Will I do those things out of love, or out of obligation? Will it be a part of my oaths? What are their exact expectations? Do they have other apprentices? Will I be joining a big household of apprentices? Have other people been this person’s apprentice? Were they happy with the relationship? Were they elevated to the Laurel? Did they want to be? Will THIS person fulfil the long term goals I have set for myself?
From the Laurel side, the opposite of all these is important too. Do I want to foster this person’s life for many years? Will they fit in well with the rest of my apprentices? Will this person complete the homework I set them? Are their goals something I can help them to achieve?
However, SKILL and social concerns are not the entire scope of this type of relationship. There are MANY, here let us discuss two: being a good Peer, and research. I did not take formal apprentices for many years because my skill set is very strange, and I have a different system for that (see below). Then a VERY wise friend pointed out that what I have to teach isn’t bounded by specific subject. Even if an apprentice/Laurel pair share zero subject interests, there is still the possibility of a fruitful and meaningful relationship.
First, let’s discuss research. Research is a SKILL. It can be learned, practiced, and improved on. Research is the basis of all the arts and sciences done in the SCA. It’s possible that one Laurel might be able to teach you a month’s worth of skills, but a different human might teach you much more by showing you how to find your own sources, and teach yourself independently. Some Laurels can teach both.
In addition to research, there are lots of other aspects to being a good Laurel. For example, teaching, mentorship, and PLQs. These can also be learned, and by a good Peer, taught. My point here is that you don’t need to focus ONLY on subject matter when looking for a good relationship.
Having a mentor in your exact field is predicated on a bunch of things: that someone with your same interests lives close to you, that get along well with them, and that learning from them is the best way for you to move forward. It can be AMAZING to learn all the basics from someone else, but it can be equally valuable to confront assumptions about those basics, do your own research, and seek out other teachers.
Which is an important part of this relationship. BOTH sides need to define, early on, if the Laurel is the ONLY source of information/skill for the apprentice. Personally, I have a fairly, erm, open, relationship with my student/apprenti/persons. What I mean is that if they live closer to someone who can teach them something, and we all agree that it is the best plan, then they should seek a foster-Laurel apprenticeship with other Laurels. If they wish to learn a specific skill from anyone, of any rank, they should pursue that. Now, I also ask that my dependents cultivate their critical thinking skills, and share with me the basics of what they have learned from others. This lets us confront assumptions, and correct misinformation together.
In addition to defining where information comes FROM, both sides should also define where information should flow TO. Some Laurels want their apprentices to take students of their own, in order to practice their mentorship skills, and begin building the households they might have when they are elevated themselves. Other Laurels are deeply uncomfortable with that arrangement, and want only a linear system, where the Laurel is in charge. There are many degrees between these. A Laurel might ask, for example, to have veto power over potential students of their apprenti. They might ask to have regular check-ins, to make sure that all parties are progressing in correct and useful directions. A Laurel can have ultimate say over, for example, who camps with the household at events. All of these are examples, but things that should be worked out BEFORE any oaths are exchanged.
In addition to learning on specific subjects, structure, and guidance, a Laurel/apprentice relationship also provides a two-way conduit of expectations of/from/about the Laurel council. A responsible Peer teaches their dependents the basics of how the council works. In addition, a Laurel keep the council appraised of the projects of their dependents. In An Tir, that means the regional/Principality councils know what each apprentice is, generally, up to. Their progress, entries, projects, etc. This can mean some travel for Laurels who have apprenti in multiple regions. But that communication flows BOTH ways. Laurels help their dependents to achieve goals that the councils wants them to overcome before they are made a Laurel.
Some apprenti/Laurels base their relationship on an oath of fealty. That is too big of a subject for this writing, so please go research what allllll that can mean. A fealty relationship in very brief means that oaths of responsibility and protection flow both directions, upwards through the Laurel to the Crown, and downward through the apprentice to their dependents (see more details on this in a moment). Oaths of fealty are very common in the Knight/squire relationship. They can be a very healthy part of a Laurel/apprentice relationship, but they can also have pitfalls.
Some Laurels/apprentices are not comfortable with differences in rank that are not easy/linear/storied. Some Peers don’t want a relationship with someone who is of equal or greater rank than them. So, for example, a Laurel might not want to take a Pelican or Count as their apprentice. Others do not feel that this is a problem, though it deeply muddles the linear nature of fealty relationships. Others do not want dependents with divided fealty, so they would not take on a protégé or squire as their apprentice. I care less about this, but I understand that for many, this is a big problem. I have TWO not-my-apprentices because it is easier for them to remain as ONLY squires in a fealty sense. We have a great relationship, but it isn’t one that involves an oath of fealty. I don’t care AT ALL about that, works great for me. Both of them have mentors who make sure they remain involved in fighting and service, I am in their lives as their “arts advocate” to make sure that A&S is also a priority. FOR ME (and them) this works. We have no fealty, but the rest all seems to work pretty well.
Another option is a less uneven relationship. I was never an apprentice, and the two people who I have had the closest relationship never were either. Instead, we have a relationship based on a more Viking Age system: fosterage. We met in college, so this works well as a proxy. In a VA context, this means that I was sent to foster, away from my parents. There, one of my older foster sisters taught me what I needed to know to be a good adult/Peer. She also taught another of my “generation”. Together, we then mentored the younger foster sisters. The older foster-sister has not yet received her Laurel (she’s had other priorites), my same-gen foster sister was elevated, and one of the younger foster sisters is on vigil. Did I teach her lots of stuff? YES. Did she live in “my” (our) camp? YES. ^THESE are the skill-specific humans that I have shared my SCA life with. If people want to learn to do all the things I do, this is the route I like best for that. My two not-my-apprentices who are squires have VASTLY different skill sets/interests from me. I don’t teach them to ferment vegetables or weave brocaded trim, I teach them how to research, and be an awesome Peer.
SO. If you are considering either side of this type of relationship, feel free to mix and match this stuff until it fits your specific goals (see the goal-setting section). Make sure that both of you agree on things like: fealty, camping, duties, homework, what skills are of interest, communication, teaching, flow of information, etc. THIS is one of those really GOOD times to do a one year contract, and at the end, sit down and really EVALUATE if this is working for you both. Make goals together! See if some temporary fostering situations might make things better. Move on if it isn’t working, but put effort into the relationship. Use that critical thinking, and your social skills, and your emotional intelligence!