Sonja

Interview Transcripts:

Explain about yourself and your family?

What are you doing?

• • a designer, design website - at children's NGO , doing an internship which will be over soon.

Education?

• • undergraduate in japanese studies

Where do you resides?

• • from poland - family is in poland.

  • Went to university in UK, was in Japan, now living in vienna

  • Family consists of a mother and sister. Sister is 8 years youngers

  • different fathers from sister

  • I have never met my own father.

How often Do you stay in touch with mother?

no set schedule. every days. via skype,

they visited me here in easter

Are you single?

have a boyfriend, we met in Japan

he is Austrian

they live together

What would you like to talk about your relationship?

there are 2 issues

Story 1)

I’m thinking about my boyfriends that he can’t empathize with people when he disagrees with them.

He can understand but not empathize with me.

There was an issue where he took the other person's side and not my side.

If you empathize can you still empathic?

Should a boyfriend be on my side and tell me what I want to hear?

boyfriend is a graphic game designer.

What could have been the reason of disagreement?

She did a job application and contacted girl about the job,

She wanted more information.

Girl wouldn't tell me more information

on and off again

she said, this was not appropriate to ask about the job, she can't tell me because we are strangers.

Why can’t you talk with me? we can get to know each other..

Sonja wanted to dialog

Other people gave me information.

She wanted to learn more about the job,

Girl wouldn't tell me more

I became suspicious about the job.

Boyfriend took the side of the woman.

Boyfriend said I shouldn’t have asked her more and trying to resolve it. if she says no, just leave it like that.

He was taking her side. that this was taking her time

Sonja was angry that her boyfriend was empathizing with the other person and not her.

A job interview is a two way situation, each person has equal value.

Why did your boyfriend say it was wrong?

trying to convince the other person

was basically stupid because you will not get anything out of it.

don’t pursue it since it will be

Any other disagreement. Was this a serious disagreement?

• • he was making me feel stupid,

  • this was a bad decision.

  • he was not listening to my reasons for doing it.

  • Sonja wonders

  • What is the role of empathy in relationships?

  • What does it mean to empathize?

  • Would you listen to what they have to say, and/or say your own opinion?

How often does this happen? rarely or often?

• • it’s different shades of gray.

  • he is solution oriented,

  • he thinks of a solution instead of listening.

  • he doesn’t listen

  • it’s not huge,