About you, your position and the role of empathy in fulfilling your role.
Team leader of the care and protection team, Supporting International office. Two working areas:
care topics — support an exchange on care topics, e.g. child participation, youth work, trauma, practice sharing
child safeguarding — internal processes on how we respond to child rights violations
Empathy is an interesting one. That is key to what we do at SOS. We talk about reliable relationships, creating a caring environment. Support child development within caring environment — empathy and understanding. Family is about caring and having empathy. Create an environment where children can experience empathy.
Care: focus: support programmes that can create that caring environment. Absolutely key.
Child protection: if we don’t respond to child rights violations, we cannot say that we have empathy. We want to respond, prevent these things from happening — essential part.
What is the process of creating a new SOS Family and a new SOS CV?
We cannot replace a family of origin. Creating a caring family environment — we cannot replace what the child has lost. Challenge. However, we can create an alternative environment in which a child is cared for, can be family. Within that, we recreate elements which would be visible in any family: relationships, safety, children can be children.
How do we do that? There are standard process, recruiting SOS parents. First, giving training to those parents, going through critical child care topics that are important in alternative care settings. Existing tools: Children’s Village manual (explains how the decision is taken, which family, SOS parents with decision).
How will the process change with Villages of Tomorrow?
More opportunities to do that. We have FS programmes where children can stay in their own families. Other options: foster families. Foster family in a smaller family — better for some children. For some children — better supported in SOS family, professional care. Individual situation of the child.
Perhaps sometimes it’s not the best solution for children to be in a family. Removed from family due to abuse. Child is cared for in small group, with strong relations with family of origin. Help them take on their parenting roles.
What are some common challenges that SOS has had to deal with when it comes to creating these new families? How are those challenges overcome?
We need to recognise that most children have their families of origin that cannot be replaced. It’s not their “real family.” At least create an alternative family.
Might have or not memorable moments that they bring. Hypothetically: some might have fond memories with Christmas, or others associate bad things with Christmas. Understand these dynamics. Prepared to deal with. Not an easy thing. Acknowledge that we cannot replace the child’s family of origin.
Sometimes we recruit SOS Mothers, impoverished countries, but they have to leave their biological children behind. How can you expect to create an alternative family when they had to leave their own families. Work to change that. Project: mother working conditions. Why does it happen? Ask myself this question. documents: Families First Support Document. Mother Working Conditions. We say we want to create a family env. but organisation env. dictates that some things have to be done. Mothers are not allowed to have their bio children with them. EUCB and LAAM: SOS parents can bring their bio children. In some countries, it’s not allowed. Org. decisions. That’s where the org. may have a negative impact on creating a family env.
Family environment: how to deal with difficult situations: a young girl falls pregnant, how do we respond? Family of origin: challenging situation. How do we respond? If we follow family, the solution is family support. If that happens, a solution must be found outside of SOS. Can we really say that we really are following a family based approach.
Villages of Tomorrow: address these challenges.
We had MAs that did take a different approach and were more flexible. It was a big problem in some.
What tools and methods does SOS use when educating SOS Mothers, who are called “child-care professionals” in our literature?
We support and strengthen Families in FS. Counselling and training for parents on issues related to child-care: conflicts, child development, teenagers. Other: supporting families with income generating projects. My view: we have to concentrate on the care aspect. Makes us different from other organisations.
Training: What creates a caring family environment? What does it mean practically? Cannot force anyone to be empathetic. Deep personality of the person we work with. Recruitment: qualities that you for in the person. Difficult to that in a formal interview: not always easy to pick those things up.
Have been involved in mother recruitment. Best selection: the almost the biggest problem. The way people protect themselves in interviews, manipulative. You cannot put your finger on. Key thing: does the person have a caring, could they fit in a parenting role. Difficult. Questions: what is important for you in family? Why children need a family? What was valuable for you when you grew up? How would you see your care-giver role for a child who comes from traumatised background? Open questions. People could respond better than others. Even if respond with difficulty. Not recruiting a chemist or physics teacher. Tests. Not so easy.
Training: theory and practice. My experience: basic theory in child care (development stages), trauma. Experience training, trainees go for a practical training: CV accompany an SOS Mother for a period of a couple months. Asked: what did they experience, where do they need more knowledge.
Training: based on the context of that country and region. We can do more as an organisation to streamline experiences related to training, facilitate exchange between regions on a global level. Common experiences between training centres in basic things, has to be contextualised. Trainings are regulated by law in some countries.
Organisations started moving into this family. We have long history. Coming from traumatised backgrounds, a lot to offer in this area. FS: we haven’t paid so much attention to that. FS developed more into economic empowerment, education of children, we left out the care part. Start from care part.
How does a Family stay connected? Play?
When one creates alternative family environment, families find their own rhythm, own way of doing things. Autonomy of families: take decisions that impact children. Cannot do that if things are generalised across. There cannot be a standard. Important that little traditions, unique things are celebrated: picnic, birthdays. Traditions on Fridays. Worship.
Training: touch on play exactly. How to create that family environment. Experience from other SOS parents. Built into the training programme, e.g. new family — instead of buying furniture, give them money so that they make their own choice to buy things that they like. Families looked different. Budget for recreation, family activities. Mothers are encouraged to do things with the children. Have the freedom to do so. Encourage as organisation. Possible to ask children what they would like to do. Children have a voice, determine what they want to do. Support.
How is a family bond created?
How you deal with crisis situations, finding individual solutions for each child, not blanket approaches. Demonstrate responsibility.
Important topic.