POWER

Sometimes these types of students can make you feel angry and hurt.

These students can be manipulative and difficult. They want control at all times. They are often oppositional and disrespectful. The behaviors can be active power behavior (tantrums, verbal tantrums) or passive power behavior (passive aggressive, forgetful, short-attention, underachieving, not listening).

-Cindy Jones (Bureau of Education & Research)

1. Praise and correct PRIVATELY
2. Give choices: "Do you want to do the top 1/2 of the page or the bottom 1/2 of the page first?"
3. Responses:

"Thanks for noticing."

"Thanks for sharing that."

"That's an interesting point."

"Hmmmmm...." (nod your head)

"I'll be interested to see how that works out for you."

"I hear what you are saying."

"You got me! Can we move on now?"

"That's possible. Let's talk about it later."

"Oh no. That's never good."

"I respect you too much to argue."

"I like you too much to argue."

"You must be really angry to say that. We'll talk about it in a minute."

"It's ok to be mad. It's not ok to say that. We will talk about other ways to let me know you are mad without using those words."

4. Use distraction: "Can you put my coffee cup on my desk for me?"

5. Be specific with your requests: "Please sit down and open your book to page 106."

6. Be flexible: Expect the student to do the opposite of what you ask.

7. Don't take it personally. DON'T GET FURIOUS. GET CURIOUS.

8. Do NOT praise the student in front of others. These students feel like they are giving up control when you praise them in front of their peers.

9. Correct the student privately. If you correct them in front of others, they will escalate at that time, or plan a way to get back at you.

10. When damage has been done, have them make restitution.

11. The more you YAK, the worse they ACT!

• Build caring relationships
• Teach appropriate expression of feelings
• Avoid escalating the situation
• Discuss the misbehavior later
• Use a nonverbal gesture rather than talking
• Act like you BELIEVE they are responsible, and ask them to do a small task for you (EX. Put a paper or book on your desk)
• Allow students to save face
• Acknowledge their power: "You're right. I can't make you. I hope that you make a good choice."
• Change the subject: "Were you at the game on Friday night?"

"To you it ________, to me it's _________." (To you it's funny calling someone a name, to me it's disrespectful.)

"We're not talking about that. We are talking about when you _______."

"You've mistaken me for someone who wants to fight."

"I am so sorry to hear that."

"That must be really difficult."

"That sounds really frustrating. I would feel frustrated too."

"I feel really upset that you are having to face that."

"I am always here for you and ready to listen."

"I can see that you are _____, and the sooner you _______, the sooner you can _______."

"You're _____. Please _______. Thanks."

"I know you like to _____, and now it is time to ______."

"(Name), let's take this to the hall where we can talk in private."

"(Name), there's a lot of truth in what you said. I really want to hear your side. Is tomorrow before school or after school the best time to talk?"

"The story that I'm telling myself about why you are behaving this way is.... Where am I getting it wrong?"

"(Name), if this behavior continues, you will be earning a trip to the office."

"(Name), you have earned a trip to the office. Can you get there by yourself, or do you need some help?"

"What do you need.......

in order to be successful today?

to get into the classroom?

to get started on your assignment?

from the other person?