2020

What is Contemplative Dialogue?

‘Contemplative’ at its simplest means ‘taking a long, compassionate look at the real.’ Peter Senge might call that ‘noticing current reality.’ Forest fire fighters and pilots might call it ‘situational awareness.’
What it means is getting as close as you can to seeing things as they are without our bias or filters blinding us. Then when we make choices or respond, we have a better chance of dealing with the actual situation or person and not a misperception.
The ‘compassion’ piece makes a difference. It helps us get past the kind of guarded and defended reactions that undercut us doing things together. Some organizations translate that as ‘respect’ or ‘shared learning.’ Whatever you call it, it changes things.

A working definition of ‘Dialogue’ is ‘the practice of building shared meaning.’ It imagines that our inability to get on the same page prevents us from solving problems we care about.
It recognizes that often, our disagreements aren’t even about the real concerns or positions we hold, but some caricature or stereotype we hold about ‘the other side.’
Dialogue helps us get past that. It doesn’t mean we wind up agreeing. But at least we’ll know what our real differences are, and maybe what real possibilities exist to work together better.
It’s not consensus. It doesn’t water down differences. At the end of the day I am still free to make my best choices. But if dialogue is done well, I’ll likely be in a better spot to know what those best choices might be.

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