Counselor's Corner

Welcoming the New Year is often followed by people asking, "What is your New Year's resolution for this year?". For some reason, the question piqued my interest -- not because of the resolution that I have or plan to do -- but because people keep asking me the question.

Why is the New Year associated with making a new resolution? Why do we only make resolutions at the beginning of a New Year? Why not at other times of year? Would it still be called New Year's resolution if I am only continuing my previous (or the previous previous) year's resolution? How am I able to achieve my New Year's resolution? These are the questions that keep popping up in my head while I am creating this article.

While doing my research in this area, I realised that the practice of creating resolutions at New Year has been happening for centuries. Looking back at the Imperium Romanum time (8th century BC - 5th century AD) when people still believe in Roman gods, the beginning of the year that we know as January was named after the god Janus. In ancient Roman religion, Janus is a God of beginnings, transitions, passages, and endings. Thus, he presided over the beginning and end of the conflict, as well as war and peace. Because of his role as a God who watches over the transition from one year to another, many Roman citizens believe that they need to promise him something as they move to a new year. They hope as they make and keep the promise made to him, Janus will then bless them as they grow into a better person themselves.

Like that belief, in medieval times -- with the influence of Christianity -- the knights would also use the new year's opportunity to reaffirm their commitment to their noble lords. Thus, the new year would be seen both as the beginning of a specific time and as the new beginning of a journey -- hopefully a journey that will be different and better than the previous year.

This belief then passed on through generations, from the Imperium Romanum until the present time. Therefore, some of us might question why we often make New Year's resolutions. Might it be possible that we have retained these beliefs, and still believe that the New Year signifies a new beginning, which then compels us to make promises to better ourselves during the new year.

Now that we know why we may do this, the next question might be: what kind of promise do we want to create for ourselves? The top six New Year's resolutions are: managing finances better, eating healthier, being more active, losing weight, improving mental health and improving social connections.

In addition to the pandemic and the lack of social interactions, social relations and mental health are becoming increasingly popular ideas for New Years resolutions. Of course, you can be creative and put your out-of-the-box ideas for the New Year's resolution. After all, it is a personal promise made with and for yourself.

Even though many people regularly make a resolution every New Year, they can often be difficult to keep and fulfil. Research completed by the University of Bristol in 2007 found out that 88% of 3,000 people did not keep or fulfill their resolution to themselves. Why do such a high percentage of these resolutions remain unfulfilled?

Research from the University Bristol concluded that there are several reasons behind the failure to keep the promise. 35% of participants who failed admitted they had unrealistic goals, 33% of participants did not keep track of their progress, and 23% forgot about them after the first two months; about one in 10 respondents claimed they made too many resolutions. Understanding the possible reasons behind these failures might give us clues for how it is possible to make, keep and fulfill these promises to ourselves.

How to keep New Year's resolutions:

1. Setting your goal.

One thing that I use when setting New Year's resolutions – or any personal or professional goals – is SMART goals. This acronym stands for:

• Specific: There should be no room for misinterpretation on your goal.

• Measurable: Plan how to track your results objectively.

• Achievable: Set realistic New Year's resolutions.

• Relevant: Ensure your New Year's goal aligns with who you want to be.

• Time-bound: Set deadlines for each part of the process needed to achieve your goal.

For example, instead of saying, "I want to read more," set a SMART goal like:

This year, I will finish five English fiction books (Specific). I will read five pages each day (Achievable), and I will use a self-made reading tracker to track my progress (Measurable). I'm going to finish my first book in February, the second in April, and so on (Time-bound). I'm committed to this New Year's goal because I want to improve my English vocabulary and understanding (Relevant).

With this kind of goal, you will reach your goal and feel motivated while doing it.

2. Focus on quality, not quantity.

When the New Year rolls around, you may feel full of enthusiasm and want to make a bunch of New Year's goals. Please don't. If you set several goals and try to do them simultaneously, you're likely setting yourself up for failure. As the Russian proverb goes, "If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one."

3. Focus on the process, not the results.

We can control inputs but not the results. For example, we can control how often we exercise and how much effort we put into each session, but we can't control how much weight we'll lose each week. Therefore, focus your attention and effort on what you have control over, the practice and effort. If you do this, the results will take care of themselves. However, if you focus all of your efforts only on the end goal, you may feel overwhelmed and give up before even reaching halfway.

4. Commit to sticking to your New Year's resolution over the long-term.

Despite popular belief, habits don't typically form in 21 days. Research shows that it can take anywhere from two to eight months to develop a new habit. Thus, be patient with yourself. Keep your progress on track and your sight on your goal.

5. Find support.

You're not alone in your quest for personal growth and improvement – there are plenty of other people out there struggling with the same New Year's resolution. So, join Facebook groups, engage in internet discussions, and meet up with people in your local area with similar goals. After all, connection and support can go a long way to helping us achieve our goals.

"The key is in not spending time, but in investing it." -- Stephen R. Covey

An investment always concerns the outlay of some asset today in hopes of a greater payoff in the future than what was originally put in. Investing time is crucial in order to ensure our success in the future.

Many people don’t realize how spending time wisely can have a positive long-term effect on their life. That is why many people suffer from failure - the failure is not necessarily the result of a lack of capability but might be the result of a lack of investment in available time in the present. Instead, time is spent indulging in activities that may not be of benefit in future endeavors.

To ensure the quality of our time investment, we need to carefully consider the items that we add to our calendar. The idea is to develop a mindset that whatever we do today will determine who we are in the future.

There are several aspects to consider:

1. Is the activity mandatory for me to do? (Responsibilities, work-related, school-related tasks)

2. Does the activity benefit my physical health?

3. Does the activity contribute to my emotional/spiritual wellbeing?

4. Can the activity be used as a reference for my future plans?

5. Is the activity in line with my life goals?

If the majority of the answers to these questions are “yes”, then rest assured that you are on the right track. One day you will reap the fruits of your time investment.

Year 12 students often ask me, what should they write in their college application essay? How should they make their personal statement meaningful, honest, and yet appealing to the admissions team? My response remains consistent: I ask back, how have you spent your time these past years? Have you done something that significantly brings a positive impact for you or your parents or your community? Because just being busy is not good enough. Students need to carefully choose an activity that not only fills in their free time but also has a purpose.

Here are some ideas for activities that can be considered as purposeful and that can increase the chance of being admitted to the top-rank universities:

1. Skill-based activities: painting, debate/public speaking, design, writing/journaling, music, acting/theater, sports, martial arts, digital design, arts and crafts/DIY, learning a foreign language, science club, choir, hiking/mountaineering, book club, photography, film making

2. Community Service and voluntary activities: fundraising, charity race, charity auction, read books or letters to a person who is visually impaired, flea market, tutoring children after school, coaching a youth sports team, babysitting children during a PTA meeting, become a student ambassador for the school, helping out at an animal shelter, etc.

3. Academic-based activities: World Scholars Cup, research assistant, Science/Math olympiads, business competitions, online courses, art projects, summer school, workshops/seminars/training, reading non-fiction journals, SAT/ACT/TOEFL/IELTS preparation course, writing articles/book.

4. Work and experience: part-time job, unpaid internship, leadership position, school magazine editor

5. Wellness: self-care, get in touch with nature, gratitude journal, meditation, hygiene, healthy eating, and many more…

The choices and opportunities are endless, depending on the amount of effort you are willing to put in as an investment for the future.

Remember, it’s your choice to spend time on either useful or useless things. If you decide to invest then you will need to choose something that has value and importance for you, so that you are truly ‘investing’ in yourself. So choose to invest in yourself, in your future. Create a plan and choose your activity wisely so that the time that you spend can truly be considered an investment rather than an expense.

“15 Fun and Functional Mental Health Wellness Program Ideas.” Austin Benefits Group, 7 June 2018, austinbenefits.com/fun-functional-mental-health-wellness-program-ideas/.

Sarikas, Christine. 129 Great Examples of Community Service Projects, blog.prepscholar.com/129-examples-of-community-service-projects.

“The Ultimate Collection of Best Time Quotes for Inspiration and Mindfulness – Blog.” Blog The Ultimate Collection of Best Time Quotes for Inspiration and Mindfulness Comments, www.actitime.com/time-management/best-time-quotes/.