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OLD MAN YELLS AT CLOUD:

Why People Who Run in the Halls Ruin our School's Integrity

Editor-In-Chief Orlando Angelone

Do you want to know what really grinds my gears? Stock market crashes my 1929? Et tu Brutes my Caesar? It is people at our school, home of the glorious and just Craig Reed, who think that it is okay to just up and run in the hallways.

Forgive me if I am wrong, but the last time I checked, we don't go to school at Belmont Park. We are not running horses in the hope that maybe, just maybe, we'll win the Triple Crown.

We go to a high school with relatively small hallways, so we as a student body must take it upon ourselves to make sure that the flow of traffic in the halls is not only smooth, but perfect. There is no room for error, but all I see are terrible, horrible, no good, very bad errors running around our school like maniacs.

Many times I have been walking to my next class and all of a sudden, without any warning, someone comes bursting out from behind me, many times deciding to push me and other people in an attempt to do who knows what, perhaps win the award for the most awful person of the year? There is nothing I would like to do more than put my foot out in front of them as they stride out and watch them crumble, but I don't. But truthfully, the only thing that is stopping me is the fear of getting into trouble.

"Usain Bolt has enrolled in our school!" This is the only context in which someone running in the hallway would be okay, and that is if and only if the person running is in fact Mr. Bolt himself.

I of all people know that those who are slow in the hallways are the worst, but the way to counteract that is not to sprint, so please, my fellow students, I request, as a humble Italian boy, at the start of his long, long journey towards some sort of meaning, Please for the love of God, do not run in the hallways. I will hate you with a passion and, chances are, many others will too.

Love,

The Only Opinion that Matters.