Entertainment

The Sonic Movie Character Redesign: From Calamity To Blessing

Sonic Fans Can Now Watch The Movie Without Projectile Vomiting

Reporter Destini Hope Baccus

Let's all admit it, from the moment the Sonic movie was revealed we all knew it would be a complete disaster. Yes, even worse than the constantly burning cesspool that is the sonic games, fandom, and tv shows. But the least the artists of the movie could do was make the movie watchable without the audience needing a barf bag or a jug of brain bleach, the mere moment they saw the deformed abomination the original Sonic design had been. Luckily though, it appears as if the director of the Sonic movie was a somewhat competent human being, listening to the well-deserved backlash, and subsequently delaying the movie so that the artists could get their mess together. And they succeeded. Now audiences can watch the movie properly and tear it to shreds as they criticize and nitpick every single line of dialogue and character actions in the movie.

For those who have been blessed by some miracle or have been living under a rock to not see how horrendous the old Sonic design was then consider yourself extremely lucky. Now prepare for me to describe to you the appearance of a Sonic who probably would’ve thrown himself to be killed by the government via experimentation in order to end his suffering. For starters the old Sonic design for the movie had Sonic look way too skinny (especially in his arms and legs) to the point it looked like Sonic was suffering from a horrific disease or was the result of generations of inbreeding. Sonic’s fur was poorly designed making the blue hedgehog look even more sickly and to make matters worse the designers couldn’t be bothered to make the fur on Sonic’s chest match the coloring around his mouth. The eyes and for the original design were way too small and were cold and lifeless instead of being full of life like any living creature should possess and finally the old Sonic design also seemed to convey as much emotion as a slab of concrete. With most of Sonic’s emotional responses in the original trailer being very stiff or producing some horrifying images to haunt people's dreams. There is also a multitude of other follies and mistakes the original design has, but let's move on so we won’t end up being here all day.

Moving forward from that walking horror movie monster, I’m sure most of you are aware of the true blessing that is the new Sonic design. If you are not aware then keep reading folks it's time to get educated by your vindictive reporter today. To start things off for this godsend of a Sonic design, this design has Sonic looking much fuller and actually having some fat on him unlike the starving rat that the original had been. The fur of this Sonic design actually has life and appears to be brighter than the original making the new design of Sonic pop out more, the eyes are also a lot bigger and display vibrant emotions like a sentient and living being should be capable of. Finally the new Sonic design has Sonic sporting proper emotional responses as well as a personality that is very entertaining, amusing, and matching the usual personality Sonic has displayed in the past. To summarize things, the artist team responsible for Sonic’s designs did get their mess together and realized that they were making Sonic not unfortunate spawn of a Lovecraftian or Eldritch monster that they dared to show in the original trailer.

So in conclusion, the artists working on the Sonic movie did something right! Unlike the dumpster fire the rest of the movie is guaranteed to be. But at least it’s watchable so if you wish to see the worst video game inspired movie of this millennium then you better by tickets now, cause lord knows the only reason your local theater will be packed is because people will want to rip this upcoming Sonic movie to shreds.