Photo by Guillaume LORAIN on Unsplash

I went to graduate school with a wise man named Pierre Oulevay. I was having a tough time at some point and he said to me, "Heman"--he called me Heman--"You're too hard on yourself. I want you to get a picture of yourself when you were a little boy. Keep that picture with you. Keep it by your bed. And when you start to talk negatively to yourself grab that picture and ask yourself, 'Would you talk like that to little Heman?'"

That has always been my favorite piece of advice I've received from another person. We tend to be harder on ourselves than anybody else would ever think of being. What would happen if we talk to ourselves today--have compassion for our present adult selves--as we would talk to that 5, 6, 7 or 10 year old You?

If you are particularly hard on yourself and the reflexive voice in your head berates, belittles and regularly criticizes you, consider getting a picture of yourself from when you were little and follow Pierre's advice. Here is one of the pictures I keep handy of 10 year old Heath to help me practice self-compassion.