From Caretaker to Patient

Post date: Feb 17, 2020 1:09:12 AM

Mike and I have had a series of surgeries in the past twelve months. 2019 began with a minor surgery for me, a septoplasty that resulted in better breathing. Mike did a good job of taking care of me, and within a couple of weeks, all was back to normal. Next, Mike had two back fusion surgeries between May and August, and I became the caretaker. I documented my experiences in two previous blog posts. However, during those two hospitalizations of Mike’s I was hobbling around on knees that hurt. I got injections and used my rollator, but it was clear that I couldn’t put off knee replacement much longer.

So, in mid-December I got the right knee replaced and the caretaker became the patient again. I had surgery on a Tuesday. I had an amazing experience in the recovery room, when the ceiling seemed to be a swirling mass of blue and white. My brain told me that it was the drugs, but I almost felt like I was part of a Bob Ross painting. Next, I had the sensation of being in a giant canopy bed, even as my brain continued to argue against what I saw. Then, I thought I saw two small gray doves fly down and rest on my right forearm. They cooed in a comforting way as I struggled to fully wake up, responding to a nurse’s voice, talking to me. Nearby, another nurse said, “Wake up, Alexa” and I chuckled, wanting to ask, “Alexa, what is the temperature?”

The nursing staff took good care of me, and while it was a struggle to get up out of bed, I had a lot of help. I was released from the hospital the next day and Mike drove me to Deery Suites, a rehab unit associated with the Western Home Communities. I stayed there for a week and did physical therapy and occupational therapy.

When I came home, we arranged for the Western Home at home aides to come in every day, helping me with showers, getting dressed, and doing a few household chores to help Mike. I was weaker and in much more pain than I had anticipated and felt discouraged.

Mike became my cheerleader: when I craved a chocolate glazed donut, he walked over to the nearby Kwik Start to get me one. He perfected his grilled cheese sandwich, and kept me supplied with diet Dr. Pepper, apples, oranges, Greek yogurt, and Dove ice cream bars.

Mike did a great job of taking care of me, driving me to appointments, preparing meals, and doing all he could to help. However, he could not bend to load and unload the dishwasher. So, before the surgery, we began looking for ideas. We found an over the sink dish rack, which he loved, and I remarked to friends that we should have gotten it months earlier, because he had done more dishes than he ever done before!

Family and friends visited, called, sent texts, and emailed. In addition, Facebook became a very therapeutic link to my friends and family.

The weeks passed and I began to feel more encouraged as I began feeling stronger in Physical Therapy. I passed my goals for Occupational Therapy and that ended. Unfortunately, as I scaled back on pain meds, the pain in my other knee became more intense. I still needed some assistance taking my shower, and appreciated the help given by the at home aides. However, after five weeks, we transitioned to Mike helping me, and got along.

At my six-week appointment, we visited with my surgeon about replacing the left knee.

At seven weeks I ventured into two smaller stores and realized how nice it was to be out and about, despite the pain in my knee. I attended a legislative forum, a board meeting, a book club, and we went out to eat a couple of times.

Now, it is just two days from the second surgery, and I am packing my bag and checking my lists. I am more confident of the outcomes of the surgery and know more about what to expect. Mike has taken over the kitchen and has his routines established. The man who never wanted to go get groceries with me now shops at Fareway, Hyvee and Walmart with ease.

While I am not looking forward to the surgery itself, I am trying to look down the road to when my rehab is over, and I have two good knees. Mike and I hope to have some adventures and put aside caretaking for a while.

Last updated February 15, 2020