The Thanks of a Crushed Soul

You think you’re pushing me to be my best,

but you’re pushing me off a steep cliff. 

You think I enjoy the constant calling out, 

I only enjoy it when it stops coming out.

You think I like the insults and the drama, 

but it only makes me want to stop thinking. 

You think you’re breaking my walls down, 

but you’re only putting new ones in their place. 

You think you know what is outside my comfort zone, 

but you haven’t bothered looking for it. 

You tear and carve and rip at my soul, 

but in the end you feel satisfied with all the “help” given my soul .

I've tried to remand strong, 

to keep my brave face. 

But at the end of the day I feel more broken 

Than what I did last week. 

I know this isn’t on purpose, 

or at least that’s what I'd like to believe. 

But I can’t tell if you want me to fly higher, 

Or if you just want me to fall. 

You helped me out before, 

But now all you cause is pain. 

I used to think I could rely on you

Oh how you showed me! 

I just want things the way they were,

When you used to believe I had a lot to gain. 

But the past is the past,

And the only thing the future holds is pain. 

In some ways, however, 

You have indeed helped me. 

You gave me situations to think on, 

And gave me the words you see before you. 

So in some ways,

you have my thanks.

You gave me the strength to write about myself,  

Even though you crushed my soul. 

You told me I have talent,

And said I could be an author.  

But after everything you’ve said to me, 

I don’t feel like I could be that author.  

But that you for the music, 

For the words I’m now writing. 

You used to believe I could achieve the unachievable

But now your belief is my own 

I know what I can achieve now, 

Even if you don’t.

I know the limits I need to break,

Even if you think they’re a joke.

I know the walls I need to break, 

Even if you put them up. 

I’m traveling outside the comfort zone, 

You so zealous tried to keep me in. 

But I must thank you anyway, 

Even though you wanted me to fail. 

Because now when I get pushed off that cliff 

I know my wings will never fail.